October 2014 (including some september early arrivals) the wonderful and crazy newborn days

[fedupofrainydays]

Thread to share the newborn news and support each other through the 'eeek what do I do?' When the baby gets home and you stare at it in the car seat and think - help!!

Fed up wooooo nearly there chick! My toddler would want to help too. DH and I joke that short help is worse than no help!

Have packed a vair sleep deprived DH off to bed for a nap. Wish the ILs were the type of GPs we could ask to get up with the toddler and give him breakfast but they don't like to be that involved as long as they help with some stuff I'll be happy very surprised but happy.

www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/08/15/america-s-postpartum-practices.html

I read this the other day and it made me remember to go easy for a bit

O absolutely plan to take it very easy for 6 weeks. I'm a really busy person, and when I told people that was my plan they mostly sort of laughed. Thing is, I CAN take it really easy, so I'm going to.

O just wanted to check that my physical tiredness is normal. There isn't so much stuff around about postnatal care, even though you get so much meddling input to your antenatal situation. Interesting.

The lack of warning about the state of my postnatal body drove me bonkers last time and it was all I really wanted to discuss with pregnant friends afterwards. I feel there's a bit of a culture of we don't want to scare pregnant women with tmi since the birth is a scary enough prospect, but being unprepared was much worse for me, I was in utter shock last time and I think I've coped much better this time, just because I anticipated the worst and this time hasn't been that bad.

Mostly it seems to be about when you can get back in your jeans! Don't read the daily mail sidebar of shame!

fedup my ds is sick a lot too, no idea how much is normal as dd was never sick, but ds is more of a guzzler. He usually just spits out a few mouthfuls of milk, but a few times it's been curdled and sicky, and a few times he's brought loads up and soaked both of us and the sofa!

goats who cares if she's incontinent, on antibiotics and depressed, as long as she's SKINNY and back in those jeans!

Madamweasel I was exactly the same last time. I felt like I had been hit by a train and no one had told me to expect it. I spoke to some friends and some felt the same, some felt absolutely fine.
This time I was prepared, and expecting worse after pains but I have recovered much quicker. But labour was much easier this time, no forceps, no episiotomy, a 2nd degree tear so some pain etc but definitely not as bad.

sweetpea ditto. Last time my episiotomy got infected, I was on antibiotics for weeks and ended up needing reconstructive surgery down there- nightmare! This time I'm only just daring to hope I've got away with it.

It's always 'you may ache' or 'try to take it easy' when you read about it all. Bleeding will be like a heavy period - well, I don't know what that looks like, I've never used a sanitary towel in my life until the one that my boyfriend had to put in my knickers for me after my post birth shower. I have no idea what a heavy period looks like on sanitary towels. 'Do your pelvic floors' - I couldn't feel my pelvic floor muscles until yesterday, no idea if I was doing them or not unless I was mid-pee and stopped the flow.

Weirdly, the most weird ache is my shoulders - partly from being on hands and knees during contractions, partly from hanging around boyfriend's neck when pushing... but mostly from trying to reach things, just out of reach, when I've got a baby attached to a boob.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels like they've been hit by a train - well, not glad that anyone else is suffering, but glad to hear it's normal. I know that I'm a few days ahead of where I was post-section, but with the section there was much more mental preparation of the "you're having major abdominal surgery" kind.

As it is, I haven't even taken the shortest of walks outside the house yet, the idea of multitasking while bf is currently laughable and although it's my birthday today, we're having reheated soup out of the freezer because I'm incapable of either supervising dd's bathtime or making a meal

Happy Birthday Frau

Im still feeling like ive been hit by a bus I seem to be having 1 thing after another happening the latest is a massive absess making me look like hamster women I had a trek to the emergency dentist today for anti bs.
Ive got docs tomorrow to talk about my anxiety im hoping hes open to me trying some CBT and doesn't try and insist on medication. It feels like my mind and body is conspiring against me at the mo.

Other half has gone away for the night he is buying a car from a family friend and it's easier for him to stay over than to travel so many miles in one day. As I'm a complete emotional wreck I'm in bits about this had a complete breakdown before he left and trying not to let mil see. She's staying until thurs I wish we hadn't agreed to her coming as OH only has 1 week paternity left and would like to spend it together as most if the first week I was in hospital. I feel bad thinking that as she isn't a horrible person at all. But I feel like I can't show how I'm feeling around her. Where with OH I can share my worries and have a cry.

On the feeding front v has been less fussy today but still feeding very frequently (I leave her on boob until she comes off herself) she been feeding approx every 1-2 hours.

me23 I'm ff feeding I have total respect for all you ladies bfing. One of the reasons I chose to ff was the time issue I just had no idea how I would fit in looking after 4 and bfing I know people do manage but I just couldn't see how I would do it and if I'm totally honest I didn't feel strongly enough about doing it.
To give you a rough idea Rocco usually feeds every 3-4 hours and it takes about 30 mins to do a feed and he takes about 3/4ozs.
He pretty much sleeps most of the time in between at night I feed him at about 7 then at about 11 sometimes he wakes at 12 for a poo!! I usually give him a top up then he will sleep til between 5 and 6 when I feed him then he goes back down. He will usually wake at nine but next week when I'm back on school runs his lie ins will have to stop!!!

I big part of me wishes I was bfing but I find it incredibly hard and through past experience I've ended up getting myself in such a state about it that I've come to realise that a happy and sane mummy is as important as a happy baby.

I hope I haven't offended anyone as I know how we feed our babies is a very emotive issue but this is just my personal experience.

gun just saw your post, I know exactly how you are feeling I'm going through the same and the anxiety is awful (which is why I didn't want OH to go) have a hug from me, hopefully this will pass soon for us both
I need to see my gp tomorrow to get more medication so I'll mention it aswell, maybe get some reassurance.

bugs I think that's normal. And when you do go out it's quite liberating, although you do feel like you have left your hand bag behind! I used to just wonder round my local shops for an hour whilst DH or my mother had ds1 and was such a nice break.
The sleep gets better too, we are all in the worst bit now. With ds1 I remember both DH and I having a bit of a melt down about 3 weeks - 'what have we done?' Type stuff and I had no idea how we were going to be normal / have a life / sleep ever again. But somewhere between 6 to 8 weeks it goes a bit easier... I started to establish a routine and got into a bit more of a rhythm with it all and more accepting. I went from a very fast paced job where I achieved a lot to my achievements being having a shower and getting through the day!! That I found very odd and difficult to deal with. All short lived though (didn't feel it at time).

Also - I still need time away from my children. And I think that's healthy. Me time is still important.

Ps goats my biggest ache after ds1 was my arms. I couldn't push myself off the bed / sit upright!! Mine was from holding on to bed bars to stop the urge to push and pulling my legs back in the pushing phase for 2.5 hours!!

Thanks me for you to. Is your anxiety giving you physical symptoms? Im being treated to crushing chest pain fast heart rate sweaty hands faintness and dizziness panic attacks and the latest gem weird muscle spasms in my stomach. And my flight reflex is so high im constantly feeling like I need to run away ive found for some reason carrying around a frozen bottle of water helps and shocks the symptoms away if im about to panic. I really hope once my hormones calm down it goes away.

buggerlugs I've been using the sma pre made bottles as he is only 6 days but I've started using the ready made milk for now.
What I will do when I'm more settled is if I need a bottle I'll mix the powder with boiled water (to kill any bacteria) then top up with cool boiled water from the fridge this way the milk ends up the right temp so there's no faffing with heating. Although with dd1 I did used to make up however many feeds I needed for 24 hrs and store them at the back of the fridge and never had any problems, she was a bit older when she started on formula.

Yes gun I've got all of those symptoms also very restless and finding it hard to sleep even when I get a rare chance. I also keep imagining that I'm getting symptoms of severe pre eclampsia and keep thinking I will have an eclamptic fit even though my Bp is under control and my blood tests were back to normal then I thinkni have symptoms of a PE. I also get that horrid flushed/dizzy feeling it's awful. I don't think OH really understands how it is making me feel.

pregnant thank you for sharing your feeding routines it is very helpful and sounds like you have things sorted! I have given a few bottles to violet when it's been non stop and I've been getting very anxious. I think I will carry on giving 1-2 bottles a day particularly before bed and maybe around school run. I don't know how I will manage school runs this early stage of frequent feeds. I can't stop and feed her on the way!

Its nice to know im not alone im sorry your going through it to though.

My DVT episode at the hospital was made worse due to my anxiety it all went crazy mad as my symptoms were that of a PE and even though I told them it was anxiety causing them they wouldn't take the risk so que all hell breaking lose getting jabbed scanned xrayed and warded in a awful ward where a old women was begging to die it really wasn't what I needed feeling so anxious to start with.

I cant work out whats the trigger it seems to come out of the blue my mind must be wandering to something but I cant work out what it is.

gun&me totally sympathise with the anxiety & panic issues. When i was getting stitched up after c/sec i felt like my heart was racing and i was convinced that i was going to have a heart attack and die, it just didnt go away after that and i was in recovery for 12 hours with high temp, fast pulse & heart rate, this just made it even more convincing to myself that something bad was going to happen? I asked to be put back on my anxiety medication as i know the shock of my waters breaking & having c/sec had triggered off my anxiety big time, the first night i came home i felt my heart fluttering and my legs went to jelly and i was convinced i was going to die... Full blown panic attack, had to phone my mum to come along as dp was terrified, i honestly think the sleep deprivation makes it worse, as you cant be rational when you are exhausted, i feel much calmer now as i think medication is starting to work, still get the odd feeling where i think the worst but try to busy myself with something else, please speak to your gp about how you are feeling, my anxiety ended up so out of control after my first dd as i thought it was normal to be constantly be worrying about the health of me & my loved ones, but not to the extreme where you cant enjoy your life for the fear of "what if" .., so dont blame hormones before speaking to your gp or midwife, its the worst feeling in the world so i really do sympathise