March 2013 - we're gonna need a bigger wine rack

[Plonkysaurus]

Ta da!

Gerry, you know what they'd say on the relationships board, don't you? Throwing crockery and kicking things? If I were you I'd be sitting him down and having a talk about his temper, and how he will learn to control it if he expects to stick around. I'd also be having a talk about how when he doesn't do his set household tasks in good time, he's effectively leaving them for me to do because he can't be arsed, which is Not On.

On a more practical note, can I suggest clean cat dishes for every feed? Mine have three pairs of saucers, they only get meat when DD's in bed, and once it's eaten the dishes are immediately put in the washing up pile and the floor around them is swept and scrubbed as necessary. You wouldn't eat off a dish that had old crusted food on; why does DH expect the cats to? It's grim.

And it's too late now, Gerry, but I would've gone up to bed, DH in the marital bed, and sent him off to the spare room!

The app is still broken. I miss you lot.

Gerry ugh. This is what our spats are like too, and I'm sure it's because life is just more hectic now. There's all the responsibility of having a baby, which entails going to work to feed and clothe said baby, which involves striving for a better job and/or work life balance, and bills to pay, and cats to muck out and feed.

And sometimes you feel like kicking an aired because of a really stupid argument that you needn't have had in the first place. I hope bet he feels like a right twat now. Like Eco, it's definitely behaviour I have also displayed in the past. If the relationships board wants to see that as a red flag so fucking what, better an airer than a door, or pent up emotions that never get expressed. As long as it's more of a one off than regular behaviour. I how it's all sorted now and that with the rose tint of hindsight you can shrug it off and make sure he knows in the future that you deserve more help. Because you both have a lot to do, it's not fair that he doesn't do his bit.

Anyway I'm very sweaty and muddy now having gone for a good run. I ate too much porridge before though so it was a bit boaky towards the end.

And apologies for all the cocking swearing.

gerry you probably are both tired and stressed with all the demands of life. I'm sure/hope you are both laughing at how stupid the argument was in the first place.

Gerry I'd say it was one of those stupid arguments that arises out of being over tired, and short of time, where things get said and stupid stuff (like kicking airers) is done, but actually none of it is really meant. I've had a few rants at DH recently, which if I'm honest have been more to do with me being tired from the dolitoddle's preferred bedtime of 10pm, than his personal failings.

As for the relationships board, it is inhabited by a wide mix of people, most of whom are on there because they have been treated appalling by someone themselves, hence are a little prone to shouting red flag and LTB.

Your story did remind me of something I read on another thread though, where someone confessed to having a rule that the baby's bowl had to be sterilised every night before bed. It was her DH's job. If he ever came to bed having forgotten to do it she sent him downstairs again. This became known as 'the tyranny of the baby's bowl', although not until many years later. At the time it was very important. Tbf cat bowls are a tad more manky though, so I'm with you on the need to wash side of the fence.

Interesting weekend here, DH has been on a mission. The garden has been cleared, the mountainous bonfire burned, and the glaziers have been given a week. I believe he has been spouting legalese at them, and he never does that. In short, he's cross. I'm not surprised actually, as they've taken three months, expressly ignored his instructions, so the roof leaks, as he said it would if they did it their way. i have a horrible feeling we are going to have to get another firm to completely redo it. Sighhhhhh. Thank you for the floor recommendations though, I'll get a sample and see how it looks. Although I might wait on a roof first!

We're looking at another 10pm bedtime again, help! She's had one 1 hour nap at 1.15pm, so has been awake for hours.... but she isn't tired, and resolutely won't go to bed.

Ahh doli I feel for you with the 10pm bedtime. I am usually asleep by then never mind a toddler being up that time. After our 2 blissful weeks of sleeping for 6 hrs then our hit of snot/ww/teeth we are back to square one with shit nights. I literally mean that too. I put ds to bed about 7.30ish and went to check on him and there was shit everywhere in the cot. Poor ds has diarrohea.

I am not sure how you could get dd to bed earlier. Have you tried starting bedtime routine 5mins earlier every couple of nights?

JESUS Christ on a proverbial, the mobile site is horrid. And my lie in was ruined by cats. Not having a good day. Can't delete the capital letters Jesus either. Stupid thing!

Bedtime poos are popular here too. She goes up at 7, by 7.30 she's shouting for a nappy change. Hopefully this is just a phase. Also popular at bedtime is standing up,, pulling the curtain and blind aside, and then lying back down to sing row row row at the sky. It's cute, yes, but sleeping would be cuter.

Hope DS is ok yummy. Poor you and him.
gerry hope things have been sorted now?

Thanks for the nap update - was interesting. eco think we are the most similar to you. Sounds restrictive but we also freestyle it on weekends so we can get out and about. Seems to work ok touch wood.

plonk you said this ages ago but we are also anti squash for DS here. Nothing wrong with water whilst they'll drink it!!
Pleased it is bank holiday and so off work. Nice to have short weeks. It's been a busy one! Off out for lunch here so will go and sort myself out. Happy Monday ladies.

Happy bank holiday one and all!

Yummy I hope the nappy disasters have stopped. Changing beds overnight is akin to torture!

Gerry I hope all is well & you've squeezed a proper apology out of him. I've been known to throw the odd hissy fit along with various household objects but instantly realise I should have controlled my temper and apologise then mumble 'you fuckwit' at the end under my breath

It's a lovely day here so when I took DD and DDog to the park for the usual nap-inducing walk instead I let her out for what turned into a 90min playing ball with the dog/eating plants/playing on the playground adventure. It means we're still nap free and having a very early lunch before venturing out again but that's what bank holidays are for! DH was on nights all weekend so has taken to his bed and is therefore absent for the day until dinner time.

I hope you're all having a lovely day.

FFS - I thought it was just me with the app problems...

Just caught up and can also bolster opinion that yes, sleep deprivation can cause stress. I had my first night of unbroken sleep last night for a week and it didn't seem so bad being with DH. Every day prior I have spent any free time plotting my exit strategy and who would get the house and whatnot. But today? Nah, he's just a man who responds badly to being asked to read a story. Or doing the bath. Yes - still a bone of contention but have resigned myself to just getting on with all parental stuff unless he volunteers. Saves arguements and thrown crockery. They are all knobs though. But we wouldn't have the DCs without them now, would we?

Happy Bank Hols all :-D

You lot who use the app - is it any good? I use the mobile site because the app looks like a toddler made it, but I mostly MN from my phone.

Any glad to hear you're coping and have had more decent sleep. Is he picking up any slack at all though? Because if not then I think that bone of contention will knock you over again soon. It's really not all men either, and I really do hope you haven't just resigned yourself to a life of toddler tyranny with no partner to back you up.

Thing is, everyone on here, and I mean everyone has mentioned at some point that they've struggled with their partner. The important bit is working together to find a solution to cope, to be nicer to each other and love one another a little bit more. Have you managed that? I've been thinking of you and hope you're ok. Cos you deserve to be innit.

Betty your day sounds lovely. Did you have a nice afternoon?

Doli may I please borrow your dh? I want to shout legalese at my landlord for 1. Telling he's selling the house and then making no further sounds, so we still don't know what's going on. 2. Repeatedly delaying inspection for 15 months. 3. Related to the previous point - the house is falling down around our ears and I'm getting fed up of telling ds not to poke the crack in the wall/don't step on the wobbly step/taping the shower tiles up (we've run out of gaffer tape now). He sounds just the ticket. Send him round forthwith.
Seriously though hope his words have the desired impact and you'll soon be free to enjoy your home.

We had a nice day here. Lazy morning with a quick work out for me, got plenty of housework done the day before so had the pleasure of waking up to an (almost) spotless house. Made the decision to ditch all the stressful aspects of the wedding and do it our way instead of the expected way, and it feels great. And we had a nice longish walk around a lake in the rain, before coming home to a huge chicken dinner and a quick 2 mile run for me.

Now I'm curled up with a new book at the ready and some soft bedding. Night all.

We are still in sickville here. Ds vomited up his breakfast. Poor thing. Lots of cuddles is needed today and not just for ds. I cleaned up sick for the first time since he has been weaned and yuck! Sorry for tmi this time of the morning

What is ok to feed him? Not that he has an appetite. He had toast and slices of cheese this morning. Maybe it was the cheese that made him ill.

Weather is appalling in London. Rain rain and more rain. This will be my second day at home with an ill toddler so you may all have to save me from going insane later.

Right ds needs my attention catch up later.

From memory, stomach bugs means a diet of water, until you can keep it down, then digestive biscuits. When you can keep those down you're good to go. And milk is an awesome breeding ground for bugs so should be avoided - but how that fits with such a youngchild who still needs milk, I don't know.

The app is usually grand, Plonk. Quick and easy to navigate. Much easier than the mobile site (which is still doing my head in). It's android phones having issues with the app at the moment, so if you've got one you might as well stick with the mobile site until it's fixed.

He just threw up water too.

I'm really no expert, I'm afraid. Keep trying small sips from time to time?

Things I hate about the mobile site (for Plonky's benefit):
Too many buttons everywhere to accidentally click
Long-ass loading times
25 posts per page, once you've read 'em it's long-ass loading time again
Having to manually navigate to the last page of this thread and scroll down every time I look at it (app has all on one page, most recent first)
I keep accidentally clicking "remove" when trying to click this thread in "threads I'm watching"
Did I mention the long-ass loading times?
Text is slightly too small for easy reading
To get back to Active after reading a thread it's a stupidly long scroll up and then hit the wrong sodding button anyway (on the app you just hit back)

Things that suck about the app:
It's currently broken
Sticky posts stick forever when you're looking at Active Posts, or at least until you log out
If you're looking for a particular topic to post in (say, Chat, or Sleep, or whatever) it's a ballache to find the topic unless you know exactly where it is
Can't scroll up and read previous posts while typing (the only major downside, really)

Join us on the dark side, Plonky!

I'm on a different kind of dark side Stormy. I have an iPhone. And I like it.

Yummy we've had our fair share of sicknesses here (I think three in six months). What we've learnt:
Frequent tiny sips of water. This means we have had to take the beaker away when he's starting to glug it, but it really is for his own benefit - too much water = vom.
When he's starting to get his appetite back let him have whatever he wants. Screw fruits and veg, let him have toast and jam if that's what's staying down. No milky/yoghurty things for a few days though just to be sure.
That said, whenever DS starts to feel better after a bug he will eat chocolate. I know this is MN and We Don't Feed Our Children Sugar as a rule, but it really seems to help.
Dummies get rejected here as they seem to make him worse while the gag reflex is stupidly sensitive.

I hope he improves soon. It's horrid when the small people are poorly. Awful for them but also gruelling and quite lonely looking after them I think. Make sure DH brings you chocolate.

An iPhone? Noooooo!

What is it with the We Don't Feed Our Children Sugar thing? Surely everything in moderation is a far better rule? Although we learnt on DD's birthday that No Death-by-Chocolate Cake Half an Hour Before Bed is a good rule.

Ds is having a snooze on my bed while I sit next to him with mn and chocolate. Doctor has given us until 6pm for ds to do a wee. His nappy is dry as a bone since 7am.

I use the mobile site which im happy. Never tried the phone app.

The no sugar rule is hard when they see other people around them eating it and want to try a piece and very hard if dgm offers it to them anyway. Like dgm something my mum would put sugar on weetabix and gave me the disgusted look when I said only banana in weetabix please.

Hope he manages it Yummy. How long has he been sick now?

Oh yummy, sounds horrible? Did I wee come? Where are you now? Sending love and get better vibes to ds.

Oh Yummy, tis shit when they're poorly. Does he take calpol etc ok with a syringe? Madam loves calpol so will take anything from a syringe and this includes water, weak squash (good with a poorly tummy I find) and dioralyte. As everyone else said let him eat little bits of anything he might fancy too. Digestives are excellent sicky food.

As for sugar, I'm not on the banning it bandwagon mostly because it would break me so DD has a try of most things and probably a couple of choccy biscuits a week. Excellent for bribery I find where the hell is the bad parent emoticon

Plonky I'm on the Apple bandwagon too. I bloody love it! Sorry Stormy!

Today DH was off and so we put DD in nursery and has a date day. It was good! We went to the cinema, had cocktails and got a train home for a quick sobering coffee before wandering to pick the girl up. A day like that every now and then reminds me that I do actually love him and want him in my life and can overlook the messy laziness or continue the slow process of moulding him into what I want

Yummy get well soon Toddleyum. Hugs to you. It's so tough when the toddles are ill.

Betty yay! Your date night sounds like a real gin and tonic. I think we should all copy.

Any glad things have picked up with you guys too. I have a theory that men are just slow to 'get' parenting, but they do get it eventually if they have to do their share.

Plonky your LL sounds rubbish. I'd loan you DH for the day, but I fear he might object to being treated as a mere chattel. Has your LL given you formal written notice? If not, regardless of what his plans are he can't actually make you go anywhere.

Happy days here, as dolitoddle actually went to bed at 9.10pm. This is huge.... and I have a whole 50mins extra of my life to just veg. Result. It could be better, given the evening wind down routine starts at 7pm... but hey, I've just gained 50mins. How could I not be happy?

Stormy sugar is the evil white powder of death. How could you not know that . Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't it up there with pombears, fruit shoots and loud parenting???!! Or am I confusing RL with MN mantras . Personally I don't give dd alot of sugar, because I don't eat a lot myself, but if someone else gives her a treat I'm really not bothered, and I never knowingly go on a long trip with her without at least one bag of organix gingerbread men. A little bribery goes a long way

Night all. Sweet dreams, unbroken sleeps, and wet nappies all.

I control sugar. In that I do the obvious thing and make sure he gets a balanced diet, but that means a few sugary treats now and then. Or one day he'll go batshit at a birthday party and eat all the cake and be that kid. There's a thread running ATM about a raw vegan kid who demanded bread once out of his mothers restraining eye. I don't want to be that mother. So he had a Nice biscuit after nursery.

But I believe it's a MN commandment - Thou shalt never give dc sugary shite. Unless it's organic, natch.

Yummy any update? Thinking of you, hope he's drinking (and a hug for all three of you).

Betty date day! Love it! Sounds superb and I definitely think dp and I are in need of that. Well jel.

Doli enjoy your stolen 50 minutes! I love stolen snatches of time when ds unexpectedly sleeps. Feels like a real victory. And yes, my LL is terrible. Apparently there's been some ill health so we're not really chasing it up - while we certainly don't want to have to deal with moving before the wedding we also don't want to be responsible for causing him yet more stress. What I don't get is that we used to use an agent, but he opted to go private, and it's led to this. I could pay dh in...erm...fish finger sandwiches? or I could just grow a pair.

Oh I know, I'm totally mac literate. I could solve your non-Windows dilemmas in return for you solving my ll problems. Cos macs are better.

My post I did last night didn't post. Gp sent us to hospital as ds didn't wee. Typical in hospital waiting room he did wee but they wanted to test his urine for infection. After hours of waiting to catch some wee we had no luck. They sent us home to collect sample and bring back to hospital today. So far ds hasn't vomited up as much as yesterday. My mission today is to catch urine in a small pot. I can't imagine how much harder it would have been if he was a dd.

Thank you all for your support.

Good luck with the wee sample. I can't imagine it'll be that easy even with a boy! Fingers crossed it's just a tummy bug and already passing.

The only sugary shite DD ever has is organic. Because I don't see much point feeding her inorganic things, as she won't be able to digest them. What with inorganic things basically being rocks or metals.

yummy do you have a potty? We had to catch a urine sample from DD when she was about 8 months so we sat her on the potty and had stories and games till she went after about 45mins. She was drinking though and used to sitting on the potty as we have done it most nappy changes since she was about 6.5 months but might still be worth a try?

As for sugar, we don't have any as a family at home as a rule since January when we cut it out so that DD didn't see us eating it. I have lost 8kg since then as a result while still stuffing myself with cheese and butter which is an awesome side effect! But we do treat ourselves while out and about. We have a rule that we won't eat anything that we wouldn't be prepared to offer to DD as she is used to eating what we eat so she has sampled some goodies along with us as treats. We plan on having weekend treat times when she is old enough to understand so that it isn't a forbidden substance! Although we don't really eat any processed foods we do have pombears in the house!