March 2013 - we're gonna need a bigger wine rack

[Plonkysaurus]

Ta da!

Cross post Plonky. I'm not even madder than I am already

Hi all. Sorry for going AWOL, but rest assured all is well here... no poas, no night terrors, no drama... just a bit of a whirlwind weekend. PIL came down on Friday to settle themselves in so that DH and I could head off to the wedding on saturday without major hysteria from the toddle. To be honest, when it came to the bit I think she was actually quite glad to see the back of us, as Granny and Granddad are such fun. Much more fun than parents, who have rules about stuff.... which is boring

The wedding itself was fantastic. I can't remember when I last laughed so much, or danced so much, and all that without even drinking too much. As for the speeches, the groom's made me cry, and the best man had us rolling on the floor in stitches. The guy should be a comedian. Seriously. I had no idea there was such talent in DH's friendship circle.

Leaving the small one over night is quite a thing though isn't it. I felt like I was missing a limb. DH must have too... as we were both awake at 5am and on the road home at 6am, which tells you everything you need to know about our ability to let go

Looks like I have managed to get through that story without once mentioning my necklace. Which was cunning. All I'm saying is if you have a necklace, which you want to wear to a special occasion, it is probably best if you don't 6 months earlier put it in a 'safe place' just on the off-chance that someone might break in and steal it. Could I remember the safe place? Could I hell. It took many minutes, and slight hysteria, before I finally located the damn thing. I'm not saying where though. It might come in handy again!

Note to those with parents who live abroad. They get very upset if you mess up passport applications, and thus have to delay a planned visit. Just had my mum on the phone in tears. Feel dreadful

Chicken pox and Men B vaccs today, so fingers crossed madam doesn't wake with a fever. It's hot enough up there as it is without any extra complications to deal with.

Night all.

Ordinarily we're sleeping blaggers too Eco but the 2.5 bag was a no go last night. He had a couple of light blankets instead and I put a heavier knitted one over him at about 10. Seemed to work despite the cot gymnastics, but I think I'll be investing in a muslin bag for the summer.

Doli glad to hear all is well in Doliland. I'll completely honest and confess that I forgot you were away this weekend and might be a little busy with that. Sounds like you had a great time though, so yay! Any wedding ideas you'll want to mention to me? Hope the vaccs go well and dolitoddle doesn't even notice them.

And what did I just say about time between bugs feeling borrowed? Ds has diarrhoea. 3 nappy changes so far this morning, 5 dirty nappies yesterday. So that's where we are. He seems happy enough though so I think well go out for a long walk when he's a bit less squirty, and it'd be nice if I could actually achieve some work/wedding malarkey today.

I'm feeling a little sad about a long friendship apparently coming to an abrupt end for no real reason. I honestly thought that stage of my life had ended a long time ago, but it appears some will always be kids.

Sorry about that Plonk. I've had some low periods over recent months as it seems my life now is just too different to sustain my friends' interests... Chest last vie. Toddlemess is worth it .

Up early this morning to be sick. No poas required (lacking part of the process iykwim ) but Bleugh nonetheless. Think heartburn over night created just too much acid.

Just been chilling on the sofa but need to get dressed. Have better days all.

Chest last! Ha ha, auto correct cracks me up!

Ah, the overheating summer nights again! I've yet to source a cheap 1 or 0.5 tog sleeping bag. Planning to mention to MIL that one is needed because she likes buying things for DD that she actually needs, as well as cute things. For the past two nights DD's been in her usual 2.5 tog and a vest with the window ajar. Which meant every passing drunk, every bugger revving his engine in the car park, every yowling cat woke her up. And there were a lot of howling cats last night, I suspect they were marking the passing of the terrace's resident enormous ginger tom, who was put to sleep yesterday. And don't even get me started on the sodding dawn chorus...

Glad you had a good weekend, doli, and I think I failed to say before but also very glad the toddle is doing grand in the heart department.

As for friends... mine who lived round the corner turned out to be a thief, so there's only one local friend left. Probably why I spend so much time talking to you lot!

Chest la vie! Oh I'm going to have to use that.

Hope you're not feeling too rough Wotta.

I'm so over her antics. She's the sort who won't visit you, but insist you always come to hers even when her kids are at school and yours is only 4 weeks old, goes quiet when there's a problem and never returns a favour. I need to learn how to stand up my ground without losing friendships in the future. I really thought this part of my life passed when I went to university (funnily enough, I've known her for 16 years).

Stormy I had to settle ds five times last night between putting him down at 6.45 and the last settle at 7.30. Not helped by the ice cream can say outside my house playing Greensleeves at 7pm! And yes, I did ask him if he'd politely mind stepping the fuck off.

My sister gave me some good ice cream van advice. Tell your small people that when the music is playing it means they've run out of ice cream. Probably not that helpful right now, but worth remembering for the future, I feel.

Does anyone else really like Tuesdays? We get up, have breakfast, go to baby group, come home, sleep. The man turns up at the end of naptime and I get to chill out until it's time to cook tea.

Our ice cream can evasion plan is to buy a house on a busy road with no pavement .

I normally like Tuesdays. This one, not so much.

Ugh! That is all.

eco we have always used blankets or duvet (can't remember the tog though). Thy don't last with ds acrobatics though. During the cooler nights i put ds in fleecy sleepsuits and just checked on him whenever either of us woke up.

For baby no2 I am definitely going to use sleeping bags. Its a bit too late for baby no1.

wotta how are you feeling now? I remember the sickness days. Throwing up stomach acid is just vile and burnt like hell.

plonky if your friend is like that then don't be sad. Someone once told me some friends are just meant to be in certain times of our life. so during our lifetime friendships will drift away but we make new friends depending on situation along the way. Since getting married and having ds my friendship circle has changed. Before i got upset that i no longer kept in contact with some friends but now i have just accepted that is how life is sometimes.

I kind of like any day of the week. Apart from these couple of days with all of us ill and sleep deprived. I just hope ds goes back to sleeping through when he is better.

Today i feel like I am mourning my relationship with dh. I promised myself i wouldn't let our relationship change when ds came but it hasn't worked out that way. I am too tired to communicate and we hardly do any fun stuff like we used to. Fun stuff as in going to the cinema etc. Both of us have put ds in the centre of our worlds which is expected but we have become distant with one another. Im hoping things will be different as ds grows up and becomes more independant. Anyone else feel like your relationship with dh/dp changed? Is this normal? If there is such a thing.

Oh god I just found something even scarier than trimming newborn fingernails. On the plus side, Fartypants no longer looks like an old English sheepdog...

Plonky Yummy's right. Friends come and go, and only a few stay with you forever. I still feel a bit bitter that my best friend dumped me for for taking DH back, but at the end of the day I figure it's her loss! A true friend gives as well as takes, and is someone you look forward to seeing. Your friend sounded anything but.

Wedding tips, well, hmmm, not sure I can give you many as from what you've told us so far your big day sounds pretty much perfect. The good stuff:

The groom being a total groomzilla had the ushers organised to within an inch of their lives, which was great for the guests. Everyone was told where to park, where to be, when to be there, what was happening, and when it was happening, which eliminated that aimless confused drifting that can feature heavily at weddings.

It was fun! Laid back, happy, with a sausage and mash and apple pie menu, and loads of dancing. Who wouldn't enjoy that.

Yummy kids change your whole life, so cinema trips and the like are just something you have to park for now, unless you have an obliging relative who is happy to baby sit. We still go out, but as a three rather than a couple, so lunch at pizza express, a hike and a picnic with the toddle in the backpack, a day trip to somewhere like Rye, or Arundel (small people may not appreciate architecture, but time it right and they will sleep through it), or even.... a trip to the shops! Dcs can bring you closer together, if you do things together. It is an adjustment though, and not a particularly easy one.

I guess in a way I've been lucky as fatherhood has improved DH immeasurably. Prior, he was possibly the most self centred selfish person I have ever known. Weekends were taken up with his cars, computers or music (he used to record his own stuff). I felt like a housekeeper/PA, and frankly didn't like him very much. Now dd comes first, me second, and him somewhere at the bottom of the heap after the dogs. In short, he's grown up, found his level, become a better person. If he stays that way we might actually grow old together .

Wotta feel better soon.

We've switched to sleeping bags here too, as the blankets option proved a little challenging once the rolling kicked in. 1 tog and a vest here last night, and fortunately no post vacc fever.

Yummy as always Doli is right. Kids don't just slot in, and it sounds like trying to make that happen is causing a bit of misery for you. The two of you need to find a new way together, whether that's doing as Doli suggests and figuring things out as a threesome, or making plans. I freaked out at him around October time when everything felt so relentless, and things have improved immeasurably since. It's stressful trying to keep track of the baby, the house, work, wedding planning, house hunting...our relationship fell to the wayside for a short period and it scared us both.

The most effective thing we did was sit down together and work out what our future looks like - the house we want, how many kids, what kind of cars we want to drive, where these children will go to school and how much travelling we want to do. Thankfully we agree on all of it, so we have a very loose five year plan. We are a focused unit now, and ds is our priority.

Doli ushers! That's what we need. I'm sure we can round a few up and push them through the Plonky's Perfect Wedding Programme.

Stormy what on earth have you done to dd?

We're sat in the chevin hills in the car. Ds fell asleep 5 mins from home so I drove somewhere pretty to look out at the river while he catches some z's.

The friend is gone. It became apparent that she was never going to see why things are the way they are. I can't even say I'm that sad about it, I feel more like a huge part of my past has been purged. And kind of free. We have such different lives, and she's such an angry, negative person (whereas I'm obviously a complete delight) so it's like a weight lifted.

Two seats have just come up at the wedding, any takers? ;)

yes

Eco and I were planning on coming and hiding in a tree anyway not that we're reliving wedding memories vicariously through you or anything, oh no

Haha oh I'd love it!

'So Plonky, who are these two?' 'Well...'

Bagsy both of the seats (both for me, twice the dinner, twice the wine?)

Finally recovered after a wonderful hen weekend. Yes, the same weekend I was in a right old grump about. Well it turned out to be fantastic. Somehow, 12 years after we left school, the bride has ended up with mainly friends from school. All of whom I was friends with as well, but some I haven't seem for years. From now onwards, I am going to go to all of these things with an open mind and not a hint of snobbery. Despite it being really girly (not my bag), and involving pink sashes, silly games, and arranged fun, which is usually the point at which I decide not to have fun on principle, it WAS fun! And as first time away from dd overnight goes, it was fine, DH was great. I refused to leave instructions in the end in the hope it would boost his confidence to realise he could manage on his own, and it worked.

You lot have been very talkative over the weekend, I haven't really managed to catch up. Hope you're all ok, have I missed anything?

That would certainly take a bit of explaining Plonky

Eco this post's for you. I have just discovered a bumble bee nest under the hanging tiles round our bedroom window. There must be hundreds of them going in and out. Wasps nests are an annual pain in the bum, but this is a first. They're very cute, which is handy, as they're also very protected. Given we also have bats under the tiles, my advice to all budding environmentalists is forget bat and bee boxes, nail a few tiles up instead.

Gerry just out of interest where did you grow up (ish)? Just checking that you weren't at the hen do I was meant to be at?!!!

Down here in the south east Betty, so my guess would be it was a different one, although that would have been very exciting!

to eco and stormy. I'll stop whinging about just the one then!!!!
Trying to catch up but just had to log in to say

wotta hope you're ok. plonk sounds like you are better off without her.
doli I forgot to say too an glad doli toddle ok on the heart front.

Will write properly again. Just done a very hard gym class so tea and bed are calling!

There's all of you being healthy, and here's me eating pie. Mmm, pie.

I have trimmed DD's fringe. Not the neatest job in the world, but it'll do, and she can see now. Absolutely terrifying though. One wrong move and she'd have lost an eye, and she's a wriggly bugger at the best of times.

Yummm stormy what pie was it? I made chicken pie for dinner the other day. We have had our third cut with ds and it gets worse with each cut. Ds was howling away and hitting us while we tried to cut his hair.

Thank you all for the relationship advice. Our aim is to do more together which would fine if dh was not a workaholic.

anyone survived through ww? Omg how hard is it this time round. I think his cold/cough, teething and ww is all happening at the same time and it is a nightmare. I have had 4 hours of whinging crying and clinging to me before he is finally gone to sleep. Im sure it will be for 45mins. My lovely calm ds used to nap for 3hrs sometimes. He won't even eat so i just offer him milk which he drinks so that is something. After his nap i plan to be out of the house as much as possible.

Hi everyone, I dipped in and out of the threads (peanutMD) and just thought I'd come in and see how everyone else is getting on?!

DD is now 14 months, throwing tantrums, still waking 2 hourly, refusing to let go of the furniture and walk and pretty much spends her days shouting on her big brother. The joys of toddlerhood :o