March 2013 time for shoes!

[Plonkysaurus]

New thread ladies...

Stormy can I be excited with you please? That's brilliant. Go Toddlestorm!!!

I am slightly nervous about what the first word might be here. DH's language is not the best . Mine however is impeccable so we've a 50:50 chance....

Ah that's lovely Stormy :)

We've had the occasional word - uttered perfectly once and never again. First it was bottle, then yesterday it was ca-at, while looking at the cat, but then nothing!

Sadly I don't think you can survive every day on 1200 cals. Well, you could, but it'd be a pretty joyless existence. Perhaps just aim to improve eating habits? Hard when most of your waking hours are taken up trying to placate a small person. Personally I would be grumpy as sin on 1200 cals but instead I actively try to make better decisions. Want something sweet after lunch? Clementine. Want pudding? Strawberries and cream is more satisfying than a toffee crisp.

Dp and the groomsmen are shopping for wedding suits today. I have a throat infection (stabby golfball sensation on swallowing, grim) on top of the Worst Period Ever (who'd have thought coming of the pill would seem so strange!) so me and the tiddler have come to my mums for pampering. And cake. Eco you'll be pleased to hear I'm chest deep in a bath. Sadly no vouvray or eclairs, but mums making a trial of the pistachio and rose wedding cake for later.

In a weeks time we find out the sex of DSis's baby. Me, jealous? Never...

1200kcals? I missed that. Plonky's right. You'll just mess your metabolism up to the point where it goes into crash starvation mode and hangs onto every scrap of fat it can, whilst wasting your muscles away. I'd hazard a guess you aren't looking for the saggy look so early on in life

Not sure if I'm qualified to give diet advice, given I'm tiny and everyone hates me for it, but here goes anyway. Cut out sugar. Totally. It sends your insulin levels and appetite all over the shop and sabotages any success you have had to date. Up exercise. Put dd in the pram and push her up up a few hills every day. Eat more heathy fats and fewer processed foods and meats. So we're talking filling things like nuts, oily fish, avocados, eggs (including yolks.... none of this egg white omelette cr*p) instead of sausages, corn beef, bacon, and all the quick easy tasty stuff that we're all partial to. And embrace your inner hippy and get into lentils, pulses, quinoa (not as bad as you may suspect), rye bead and whole grains. Wheat is not poison btw, despite what every second person may say.

If that sounds a bit joyless, well it has got to be better than 1200kcal a day.

Plonky get well soon! Have the men got clear instructions regarding suits or are you letting them go freelance? I only ask because I got married to someone wearing duck egg blue braces.... which was an interesting choice.

1200 calories isn't actually that bad, Plonky. You just have to readjust what you see as a meal. For lunch I had two frankfurters. Protein keeps you full, so those two hundred calories will keep me going until teatime. And I don't tend to eat much processed crap at mealtimes, which helps. Anyway, mfp says I'll lose two pounds a week on 1200; I could eat a fair bit more than that without gaining. So there's room for the odd bacon sandwich.

Swearwords as first words, hmm. Usually it's mummy or daddy (or in this case baby) because they're easy syllables to get your toddler mouth around. So "buffering bastard blocks" would be an unlikely first word, but the f word is definitely possible. I've taken to censoring myself. I already describe good things as smashing, now I'm saying crikey a lot. Metamorphosis into 1940s schoolboy is well on the way.

And I see my phone is censoring me too!

My favourite phrase in the whole world is bollocking shitbags. But I can't say it any more, at least not before 7pm. And given that it's best used when things go tits up, i find myself saying nonsense like flolloping flip flaps. Still rude, but fun!

Seriously Worse is right about cals. You have a base metabolic rate - cals burned just to keep you going, heartbeat, breathing, organ function, hair growth etc - and if your body is not getting all of them it will break muscle mass down into protein whilst storing fat. Exact opposite of what you want. It also means that the very second you start eating more than 1200 cals you'll put it all back and then some. Fwiw I'm 5'6, 10 st 12 (a way to go still but it's coming off slowly), a regular size 12, only lightly active and I need about 1500 cals a day, minimum.

Worse he's off the leash. It's going to be expensive. He's sent a photo of himself in a Paul smith suit with spotty tie. I don't know what to think!

I appreciate the concern, but I'm not starving myself, don't panic! I've had three Thorntons chocolates and a bit of DD's easter egg today. I'm just having sensible portions and not snacking. I have done this before, you know - four stone lost in the run up to pregnancy, and I'm only a stone heavier now than I was at conception, so clearly didn't gain it all back.

BIL was teaching DD some very creative swearing the other day. He's got a gift for it. Thankfully she didn't copy any of them. But I'm reminded of the time he was driving, another car did something stupid, and a little voice from the back piped up: "Prick!"

Finally...I'm back did you even notice I'd gone? Sob I had to answer super secret questions to prove that I am me and I passed. Hooray

Well done on the first word toddlestorm! We have a version of 'hello' everytime he holds an anything to his hear. Today's trick was pointing right to his nose when we asked where his nose is. So cute!

stormy good luck on the weight loss. I couldn't do 1200 calories a day, I'm too much of a foodie which is why I go to the gym 3 nights a week. To justify the nearly 2 Easter eggs I've had pre-Easter. Doh!

plonk is he attempting to rock the Mr Blobby look with the tie? It'd certainly be an image you'd never be able to wipe from your memory as you walked down the aisle and probably back up again how are you and toddleplonk now?

Gah, I'm on my phone so can't check back. Plus, I've missed so much anyway so will just say yoohoo to everyone else

Something we did notice! For me I think seeing you on Facebook equates to 'all is well in something land'. If you weren't on there or Mn I'd be asking some serious questions young lady!

Happy Easter everyone!

eco why the 4am post?

something i noticed you weren't here too.

stormy congrats on the first word. Its so cute. We had a couple of words then nothing. Ds is not following a normal pattern. Things i teach him he is not learning but comes up with new things and i don't know where he learnt it.

He has already grown to love football. If we are at a park he tries to get someone elses ball and he has learnt to kick it.

We are going to a birthday party today our third of this week. This week i have been on a birthday cake diet. I better go ds is rummaging through paperwork aghhh!

Aww ladies, thank you for appeasing my neediness

eco 4am?!

yummy I bet toddleyum looks adorable kicking the ball. DP bought DS 4 different types of ball the other day for when we're all in the garden. We play 'fetch' quite a lot with them, although he rarely brings them back.

Happy Easter everyone or as my nephew just said to me on the phone, Merry Christmas!

Two hours it took to get DD to go to sleep last night. Argh! On the plus side, she slept in until 8.45 this morning.

Anyone else been irritated by facebook this morning? Someone on my feed has posted something about how it's not about chocolate, it's about Jesus. Yeah, for her, maybe. It's also a pagan fertility festival, so scoff all the eggs while shagging like rabbits!

And it's me. Wrong sized glass... hearts with holes.... stupid cars, and girdles are for better or for worse. Which I'm kind of hoping is enough to identify me me.... Name changed, cos I'm feeling a bit 'known' now, on t'internet. So now I shall be unknown, and mysterious, for a whole nano-second, which should be fun.

Eco may I join the throng and say 4am? You didn't go waking madam for an early chat cos you couldn't sleep did you? Or was it the other way round? We (proud parent boast alert) had a good night last night. 12 whole hours. This will not last... of that I can be certain. Although given total naps today amounted to less than 1 hour at 11am, I'm kind of hoping for another good one tonight.

Something I noted your absence, but put it down to Easter hols, family at home, general chaos, and no time for MN-ing relaxing. Good to see you back

News for the day Dolitoddle has spent the day walking round the house all by herself! My nerves are frayed, and her knees have had the odd knock, but otherwise it's been a bit of a yay day.

Happy Easter all. Stormy your summary made me laugh. Please don't ever leave this thread. I love your original outlook.

Hi Doli. Your new name is looking good or is it the girdle?

Sorry for leave of absence. Have been lurking but just too frazzled to post. Work mental and work life balance non-existent. Boy is however truly lovely at the mo. Chatty, wobbling around everywhere on thumbs, into everything, nosey as a nosey thing. Hilarious and delightful.

Hope everyone having nice Easter...

Pud it's the girdle. It's better than good. Maybe.

Just heard the first nightingale of the year singing outside dolitoddle's window. Life does not get any better although if it wakes her up I may reconsider

Doli! I love their song and haven't heard them since living in the Suffolk badlands turn of the millennium.

And, am I being a dumbarse? I've tried saying your new name but I can't make head nor tale of it!

4am? What a lovely time of day. dawn chorus is starting. But I'd rather not have aggro baby too. we're in middle of an epically long wonder week and molar teething episode I assume. Her cheeks looked like aunt sally this afternoon and were red hot. Poor mite. We're doing ibuprofen and calpol alternately to try and help. She's unable to self settle every time at present, hence 4am. And 6am. And half hour naps. Lovely.

Those that go at my hippy ways will be relieved to hear we allowed choc today for eco tod. Her little face! Interestingly, later on after dinner, she refused the ginger stewed rhubarb with maple. Almost as if she's had the proper stuff and won't be returning to fruit muck!

We went to a car boot sale this morning as I wanted to get Ecotod a ride on thing. We succeeded. Two pounds! BUT! It has buttons that play fire engine tunes. GAH!

dh is up again having been bed ridden with high temp, sweats, shivers and aches. Normality has returned and I'm back to hour long baths, today with the Sunday papers. No surprise to hear that we usually read the observer but a few weekends ago in bloody Bedfordshire they'd run out so we got the times. It's ok! I like it. It's not pissed me off yet. Have times changed or am I succumbing to that often mentioned thing that as you age you lean more and more to the right? Actually I think I have my answer....I read every section but the main news and sport so I'm unlikely to be so offended by which ra ra skirt is cool or how to craft nettles into pesto. Anyhow, I ramble.

How is everyone? What are your tactics tonight with snot face stormy? Good luck.

Hello to cantturn too. Been thinking of you all and hoping your boy got to enjoy some choc today with the rest of the family.

should that be head nor tail? Yes it should. And I should start reading the news section of the newspapers to improve my IQ

Eco yes it is nor. I wouldn't wipe my soft little bum on the times but glad to see reading it's having the desired effect are you suddenly in favour of big business? Thoughts on immigration? Europe? Suddenly approving of workfare? I'd stick to the supplements. Times style has me in stitches, who can afford those clothes?! Hope the teeth break through soon and give ecotod some relief.

Doli hello. I must admit I read your name as Dulcolax life and times of an IBS sufferer. But a nightingale hey? Swish. We've mostly got a mangy old pigeon croaking in the apple tree, but I do catch a glance of a finch now and then.

Stormy Facebook does my head in. I don't want debates, I just want to live and let live. Others have different views though and I frequently have to put up with other peoples views on religion, parenting, politics...I just can't be arsed. I'm not particularly confrontational - if I were, I definitely would not be on Facebook. But fwiw I'm pretty sure Easter is about shagging and feasting because winters finally over.

Ds is recovered. I'm sure it was the chocolate wot dunnit. My throat still hurts but I no longer feel ill so it's business as usual once again. Thanks all for kind wishes. We had a lovely time with my parents on Saturday night, and dp joined us yesterday for a hearty lunch followed by the best cake ever. Thankfully he is not yet in possession of a stupidly expensive suit from Paul smith (worth about 6 weeks rent!) and has seen sense. Domestic avoided.

Eco it's doli capax, Latin, used in law to mean 'Capable of deceit, mischief, having knowledge of right and wrong' but more accurately 'capable of making mistakes'. Which I am. In fact I am more than capable, I am a world expert. So there you have it. Although Plonky's translation might be funnier. Oh ok it is funnier. But that's the plonk for you

So you have sunk to the level that is the Times have you? Excellent stuff, SamCam and her man would be proud. I know what they say about age and political alignment, but there has always been a question in the back of my mind.... is it age, or wealth, that moves the bar? It's hard to say as with age often comes increased wealth, which muddies the waters of the hypothesis... but in deference to those who abhor debate, I'll stfu as I'll be the first to admit I'm not a political creature. To me they all appear to be the same - promise the earth, deliver nothing, and spend and awful lot of time and tax payers' money taking cheap shots at one another across the green baize.

Plonky glad you're feeling better, and lucky narrow escape on the suit. Paul Smith is soooo last year anyway. Like I have a clue . Eco and her Style section are probably better placed to comment on that front... but if you told him that with enough gravitas and an appropriate eyebrow lift he might just believe you.

Eco Poor DH and poor Ecotod. No molars here yet (thankfully) so we have that little joy ahead of us. I'm not looking forward to it. The current pattern of FA naps but a 12 hour stretch at night is suiting me down to the ground. Long may it last.

Home alone today, as DH has popped down to Devon to visit his granddad. I don't envy him the drive, but I am glad he's gone. I live in hope that when I'm 99 dolitoddle will care enough to come and visit me too, with whatever children she may or may not have.

Hi all! Love the name change Doli.

We've done a Yorkshire to Dorset to Warwickshire/Leicestershire to Yorkshire via 2 weddings Easter Weekend and I am exhausted! It was fun though, both weddings were lovely, there was some fab food and some dancing and despite madam taking her first steps in February she's finally started toddling EVERYWHERE this weekend to amusement of many people, it's like she waited for the situation where she'd have the biggest audience!

Stormy good luck on the weight loss, you too Plonk. Gerry, how's yours going? I could do with a wee bit too but really I think I just need less biscuits and more exercise!

Confession time....I love the Sunday Times! We get that and the Observer (in the interests of balance) and the supplements are great! I can't say I make it to the actual paper very often though, I'm a political flake mostly because I think they're all pretty much the same and too much trust in them only ever leads to disappointment!

Something, it's good to have you back!

Madam is squeaking so duty calls.....

Well done toddleoff! Living up to your name. Your mn one anyway. Speaking of which did you ever let shattered know your dd's name? She's not on Facebook so doesn't have the benefit of all the cute pics names to faces. Your weekend sounds eco in proportion Betty! Home safe now and looking forward to a good rest. wonder if the increased walking will help toddleoff's sleep.

Doli thanks for explaining. My Latin is super limited: the motto of a county I grew up in (multum in parvo, much in little?) and various plant related descriptive language from plant's Latin names. Except not having used my brain for so long I can't even remember much of that either! I like your new name but don't be putting yourself down too much now. So are naps totally none existent at present for you? How is the by dinner time? Molars for us have been yuck but I know some babies who sail through it. Did you get dh back and did he go in the crazy car? I was thinking, if he did, how frustrating the traffic jams must have been today! Bad day potentially for that journey. Hope not.

Plonky wise young owl with soft bum you made me curious so I read the main section. I discovered two broadsheet pages of an analysis they had done about prince George's facial features and whether he's going to be more attractive than his father.Decision made! That was a bit too daily mail for me!But like Betty I continue to be entertained by the supplements (and I need thick papers for all the packing I have ahead of me!). Reading the observer sometimes gets my goat because it is sometimes a cliché of its liberal self. I guess with such a healthy mix of journalists any paper is going to get on your wick in some respect. Also plonk, was the amazeballs cake the dry run for the wedding? If so, result! Save us some.

We had a lovely morning meandering around bluebell woods and catching up with other families with our age babies. One of whom is 20 weeks pregnant During Ecotod's nap we lazed on the sofa and whilst dh read I snuggled up and had a snooze. That never happens in this house. Normally if there's a nap my busy gene kicks in and I MUST GET STUFF DONE. So it was lovely be a rebel.

I committed a horrible faux pas this afternoon whilst visiting other friends and have felt dreadful for last three hours. I don't deal very well with doing stuff that upsets or makes other people feel bad. I find it hard to get past. I will doubtless continue ruminating this evening. Still, we have chicken soup simmering away and that's always very good for my soul so maybe that'll help. MMR tomorrow. Any tips?

I have the
next few weeks Monday to Friday solo and am feeling a bit nervous. How silly of me. I'll cope. I guess it's just what you are used to and soon enough, like stormy, I'll be relishing in the positive aspects like not having to endlessly tidy.

Was thinking if bed last night, where's Any? You out there and doing ok?

Betty hats off to you, you must be exhausted. Well done that baby toddler. Perhaps a career on the stage beckons as she obviously likes to play to an audience.

Eco [stern look] Don't you go worrying about a teeny tiny faux pas. It was a faux pas, not an evil act of malicious intent so I'm sure you have been forgiven for it. Plus you are lovely. I can't imagine you upsetting any one. Best policy if it is hanging over you is to speak to the (possibly) offended one, and say 'I'm so sorry.... really major foot in mouth moment....' or an appropriate equivalent, and then it is dealt with and everyone can breathe a huge sigh of relief and move on. You've been through child birth. There is nothing embarrassing or awkward left that could possibly phase you after that

My advice on the MMR. Try not to cry when they stick a horrible needle in your tiny person not once but 3 times. I struggled with that. Even though the nurse was lovely! DH (being DH and a bit in yer face like) wanted to know if she vaccinated her own kids, to which she replied 'of course not. I'm a mummy. I couldn't stick a needle in my babies'!!! Which made me feel a bit better.

Other than that, have a quiet day on the day of the vacc, expect a bit of a grump the day after, and look out for slight rash and fussiness a week to 10 days after.

As for DH, yes the stupid car is loose on the roads. The trip down was a 4 hour breeze. The trip back - well it's been nearly 7 and he's not back yet, so I'm guessing he's admiring the view of the bumper of the car in front, and has been doing so for a while. Granddad was well though, and thrilled to see him, which makes it all worthwhile.

Nice name doli. Bit shocked at that nurse's response. Does this mean we are monsters for protecting our children from illness. Rant over and breathe.

eco I am dying to find out what you said/did. As doli said I can't imagine you would hurt anyone intentionally. You never know she may not have taken offence. I was a bit traumatised by this vaccine because ds was aware and wanted to break free from my grip. So make sure you have a type grip and lots of cuddles after.

Well done toddlebetty! Betty I admire your travelling. Glad you had a good time,

Any? Shattered? Where are you?

Yummy oops, I wasn't clear. She was saying she didn't vaccinate them herself, not she didn't have them vaccinated. She was a very lovely nurse, and very good at injections as dolitoddle only cried after the third one, which made is easier. I don't think she really felt the first two.

I'm here! Will write properly later. Eco hope you're not still feeling bad- sure it wasn't intentional. Good luck for MMR- we have ours this week. Oh- and I love the Times!
Well done bettytod

Will catch up later ladies. Off to work!!!