The 8th Broadly Gemini Bus- The one where the babies refuse to sleep!

[bringonthetrumpets]

Numero 8!

Hoping for some actual sleep tonight!

Yes, she was up and had no intentions of going back to sleep unless she was on me. I had a bit of a meltdown last night Like, I was crying and she was crying, and DH didn't say anything helpful or supportive (i.e. "see, this is why you can't be a midwife, you can't even take care of our own kids"; "you have to choose whether you want to be a mother or go to work"; "what would happen if you were at a birth and she was like this with me by myself?") She ended up sleeping with me last night and while I got more sleep than hearing her cry, it wasn't great sleep.... I feel like I'm creating a bad habit and now she's never going to sleep in her crib again. I just have to keep reminding myself, it's a phase, it's a phase, the boys went through this, it will end eventually. Now it's just DH I have to contain myself from lashing out at. Selfish asshole.

Diets?? Oh lordy. I just use this time as an excuse to eat more chocolate ! It's below zero out most of the day so I need the extra padding, plus I have a kid who sucks the energy out of me and so I need extra

"Now it's just DH I have to contain myself from lashing out at."

Umm... Why?! He's being awful to you. Why would you not shout at him?! DH would never speak to me like that! It's a really horrible way to treat someone. Why would he say things like that?! Is he always so unsupportive of you? It's one thing to not know what to do with a baby, being downright mean is an entirely different ball game. I've half a mind to jump on a plane & come tell him off myself! This would look ridiculous. From the photos I've seen of him he looks rather tall. I'm 5'!

I vote for the fertiliser option.

It was a low blow, totally unnecessary to critise your work! Lots of mw do t have children, it doesn't make them bad! Plus a child that doesn't sleep isn't a fault of anybody's, it just is what it is and when we are tired it makes us weary. You are a great mum that's very obvious to me and I know if I had a choice of mw I'd want you on my team!
What would happen if he was on his own? He'd deal with it just like you'd have to!
You be easy on yourself today my sweet xx

pear We use this as Calf's main highchair. It's really good, although he soon figured out how to remove the tray insert. He now uses it at the table without the tray, although it's handy to have the option of him having the tray when we have people round. It's also really easy to take away with us. The best thing about it is how wipeable it is but it's probably not that great for daytrips. Most places have their own highchairs though.
We're considering getting the same one for Runt, although we can probably get a bit more use out of the bumbo for a while yet. It'd be good to have him in a proper seat though. The only thing that's holding me back is that Tesco have stopped doing it & we used our clubcard vouchers to buy Calf's. I had it in my head that we'd do the same with Runt's & now I resent spending actual money!

Runt's still refusing to sleep through. We've still got a single & double bed pushed together but had swapped around so Runt was on the single & DH & I were on the double but have now reverted so Runt's on the double with me. Last night I actually got some sleep so that's progress! The last 2 weeks he's been waking at around 3.30am & proper screaming until I feed him. Within about 2 minutes of boob-in-mouth he's asleep again, until I try to move him back to his little area. He'd insist on being in my armpit. Last night, however, I managed to sneak across to his area, feed him & carefully roll back again while keeping my hand on top of his head so he thought I was still close. He actually stayed asleep! I do feel a bit bad about having relegated DH to the corner but he says he's not bothered & my need for proper sleep is overshadowing any guilt I may normally have!

I have a playdate tomorrow. I'm scared!

I'm going to bed. Night night kitty

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I had a little cry this morning while I was thinking about his reaction last night and it's just made me more determined to actually do this. I spoke to my friend and the midwife I'm working with as they both mentioned that if it's too much to handle this spring, they both understand and there is no judgement if I feel like I need to step back for a bit. At least I feel like there is support from reasonable women instead of my sometimes irrational husband. It was really hurtful that he put it that way and I need to think of a way to bring it up so that I can express how it made me feel. I don't want him to think it's ok to put me in that kind of a position.

So, we shall see how tonight goes. Hoping for more sleep, but I shouldn't be surprised if she feels like she needs to come to our bed again. At least it's an easy excuse if DH gets it in his head that he needs some

Bring ~ I was thinking about what I could add. Is DH over tired? Just wondering because my DH --and maybe me too- has been saying some ridiculous things that I've found hard to swallow recently but 24hrs after he's said it I look back and see that he's just not handling being constantly tired (even though he doesn't get up in the night but apparently he wakes). Just a thought.

Lor ~ I think your decision to start sleep training is a good one. You'll soon see benefits big or small and you'll pat yourself on the back. It's been a week for us now and I have no regrets. Good luck and feel free to moan/share on here as I know I have had my fair share recently

Yes Kitty I know...I know I'm still awake and it's 10pm. Damn it Oh and if baby pear wakes at 3am I'm going to do what you suggest and let him CIO for 10 minutes and see what happens. If he wakes at 5:30 I'm not sure I'll be able to skip into the room and draw the curtains to start the day

Gggrrrrrrrr. Why does DH stay up so late. It's coming up to 1am and he's still up downstairs He wakes me up when he comes to bed ggggrrrr

pear my DH ABull ?! is the same. He never goes to bed before midnight, usually past 1am. I always wait up for him partly because I feel bad that he's still up doing the washing up because it takes him at least twice as long as actually necessary & partly because I'm concerned that he'll sit down & fall asleep on the sofa or just faff if I leave him to it! We're just going up now, but he's still got to have a shower! I want sleeeeep! ARunt has been awake for a while & just had a 9oz bottle so hopefully he'll sleep now!

Agnu ~ omg how annoying for you! When I ask DH what he's been doing he always replies 'stuff' lol For some unknown reason baby pear woke at midnight so I text him to go and settle him. It was funny frustrating watching him on the monitor just standing at the cot not knowing what to do!

M actually slept last night! After we had about an hour of working on settling. She would get so frustrated that I wouldn't let her sleep in my arms, so we had a lot of picking up, shhh'ing, putting her down, her starting to cry, me pick her up, repeat. She finally couldn't fight off the sleep and settled. It's such a long process, but she actually slept from 11-7. Hopefully it won't last as long tonight. I'm just glad that it finally worked and I didn't have to bring her in bed with me.

DH and also had a chat last night and I explained how his shitty comments made me feel. We are on good terms again.

DH always stays up way too late too.

That's good bring, nice your on good terms again and m slept well, I'm sure she'll get the message soon enough, atleast when she's asleep she stayed that way!
Tut tut pear did he wake at 3? What happened?
My dh goes to bed later then me not hard but I'd be dammed waiting for him, if he's not tired so be it, if he falls asleep on the couch, I get the whole bed I think partly they know it won't be them getting up if there's any problems! Every so often like once every 2 weeks I get him to go down with them in the morning just to keep him on his toes, if he's tired he will know better next time right!

Glad the pick up/put down tactic worked bring Gives me hope!
Sorry to hear your DH has been so hurtful though. I think looking after a new baby has really knocked my self esteem in many ways so every little comment really hits me where it hurts. I can understand why you were so upset. Glad you've cleared the air a bit though.

DH goes to bed later than me too, but I'm not complaining. First, it means I get the bed to myself for a few hours at the start of the night (since DS is in his cot in his room) and secondly if DS gets up between 8.30 and about 12.30/1, DH will settle him and I stay in bed and go back to sleep. From 1, DS could be looking for a feed and DH wants to be in bed by then so that's my shift!

Ha, yep, no complaints about DH's late bedtime. He usually snores (no matter what he does to try to stop it) so I'm able to actually fall to sleep and not hear the snoring if I go to bed first. If he's tired one evening and goes before me, it's game over I want to strangle him with his lumpy pillow

That's awesome that your DH will settle babe for you Lor Mine will just pick up M, bring her to me, and say "I don't have boobs. Here."

LOL Kitty!

How'd the playdate go Angu ?

Everybody goes to bed so early (apart from Agnu). This is where I'm going wrong. OK tonight I'll aim for 9:30pm.

Kitty ~ he woke up at 4am last night. He didn't RE settle so I ended up feeding him. I really think he genuinely is hungry. I spoke to the HV about it and she says that she wouldn't expect a baby to sleep through until it's 1 years old and that I should carry on feeding him in the early hours if he's going from 7pm-3am onwards without food. Just like he dropped the dream feed she thinks that he will be able to last longer in a couple of months. I'm not sure if what she says is right but I do have a gut feeling he is hungry so I'm just going to carry on for another few weeks like this. At least I get to go to bed earlier as like Lor my DH can now settle him if he wakes up before 3am (as he proved last night).

Bring ~ phew. I'm glad you've had an easier night and day! It's always better after clearing the air isn't it

OH wow. DH just told me that he's going to come to bed with me. Shock horror lol Is he reading my MN posts?

Seriously...what's wrong with me? Why can't I sleep? The men in my house are asleep and I can't sleep. I've never had this problem before. Maybe I need to start taking warm baths

Glad you've sorted things out bring. Hopefully he'll be a little more considerate in the future!

The playdate was really good actually! We agreed that we both hate going to unstructured groups or basically anywhere where we'd have to force some social interaction. We're going to go swimming together with the kids sometime & brave a local group. We also chatted at length about homeschooling & she's open to the idea. Most of her objections were based on misconceptions, like there not being enough social experience - there's at least 40 families just in the local Christian group & loads more in the several other groups just in our city! I reckon there's a strong possibility that she might end up homeschooling if she learns a bit more about it. I can so see her becoming my new best friend!

pear the bright screen probably isn't helping! Maybe try a soothing drink? Chamomile tea is supposed to be good. Can't stand it myself! I'd much rather have a hot chocolate!

Agnu ~ it's crazy bright isn't it! I turn mine away from me. I think soon I'll be turning it off.

I may be eating my words tonight. He woke up at 2am. Couldn't decide whether to feed or send DH in, I fed and he didn't take much at all. On this occasion it was habit I should have sent DH in!

Oh good agnu! I'm so glad it went well and you found something in common. Having someone to commiserate with is such a massive life-saver when it comes to motherhood. I have a couple of really good girlfriends that I owe my sanity or lackthereof to. I wouldn't survive if I couldn't share my woes with. I hope you're able to get together again soon!

M was weird during bedtime tonight. She went straight down without a fuss, woke up an hour later, went down without a fuss, woke up 30 minutes later, went down without a fuss. I am really hoping this is not the rest of the night. I'll fill you in tomorrow.

Pear was dh not hoping to get lucky? That was my first guess lol
When I did sleep training with kitten she was hungry or really wanted milk but then wasn't so much in the morning, I just stoped because it was getting worse and as she had slept through previously for a month knew she didn't need it, I'm not saying you should, just that that was also my experience with her, I was so so lucky with tiger once she slept through at 12 weeks she never woke again bar for 3 days at 16/17 weeks before I gave her baby rice then that was it until we potty trained her. I find reading makes me tired, not a phone though, only a book
Glad your play date went well Agnu, sounds like you may have found a kindred spirit, it's lovely when you really bond with someone