December 2013 - sleepless nights & lots of cooing

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Our very first Thread :)

Qumquat ds is 8 weeks tomorrow and I am still ebf and now actually enjoy it most of the time. It gets easier about 6 weeks I found and every day now is a bit easier.

But the first 6 weeks were the most difficult thing I have ever done. And last week was the first week since he was born I didn't end up in floods of tears over something. Not necessarily bfing or the pain or the sheer fucking relentless feeding. But bfing is so all consuming it's impossible to see anything else rationally. How anyone does it with a toddler or young children has my utmost respect.

If you want to carry on have a read through some of the threads in the bfing section on here. I found some really useful threads that got me through the hardest bits. You have done the worst bit though! When I got really sore I found giving each side a 4 hour rest helped. Then swapping over. Lanishoh is your friend. Go braless as much as you can.

And make sure you get out of the house at least once a day. I have a sling very useful. And I insist on having a 30 mins bath every night even if dp has to take ds out in the pram to keep him quiet.

Ff is fine though. It really is. Dd was mainly ff and is thriving! 4 weeks is a fab start for your baby. But it wont always be this hard. Hth

Well done Mrs!

Just to add that I ebf for 4 weeks and it was hardest ever! What with feeling tired and bluesy It was tough but I took each day at a time and just tried to get to end of each day doing ebf then I introduced a bottle of ff at night and that helped her sleep longer, by 6 weeks she was feeding so long like over an hour and had other problems with latch on one side which leads me to now at almost 10 weeks we mix feed but I must say I only do a couple of breast feeds a day as I suppose my supply just isn't enough and also DD mostly wants bottle except for times when she wants some comfort milk.... Whatever you do, don't be hard on yourself, there is lots more to motherhood!!

qumquat I agree with frouby- first 6 weeks are the hardest thing I've ever done too- and I failed to bf my other DS's due to cracked bleeding nipples. This time LO had tongue tie and I've had mastitis so it's not been easy at all- but is gettif easier now.

We've had some drama here last night- Joshua started grunting and I got Really scared as he wasn't breathing properly so called an ambulance and went to a&e. I've never been so scared. He had a temp of over 38 so they monitored him and his breathing returned to normal and his temp went down. Got back at 2am. He seems ok this morning apart from his awful cough but I'm still so worried it'll happen again....

Sounds like what Lleyton has mum he wasn't breathing right and had a really high temp and still has the cough broncalitus it's awful when we see our babies like that.
Hope he's feeling better and you did the right thing with a and e xx

Anyone else suffer from panic attacks here?
I had my first appt with talking changes to try and help deal with them as theres no way I want the meds, a friend of mine is on them and has horrible side effects.
Dp is on first of 2 night shifts tonight and that's when they are at there worst

How's everyone's Los doing? Xx

mum that must have been terrifying for you, poor little Joshua, I hope he is much better today.
Alyssa I don't have panic attacks but do suffer from depression and found my sessions of CBT wih our local mh service so good they enabled me to come off the antidepressants as soon as I knew I was pregnant and I've not felt I've needed them since. Best of luck with your therapy, and remember we're all about if you need to talk.

I don't have panic attacks but my partner suffers with anxiety and ocd so he has had many a panic attacks in the past so I've been on the outside looking in and I can see how my partner has really struggled and suffered to get to where he is today, he never took any meds as he tried but that in itself caused him more anxiety. He will never lose his anxiety disorder but he manages it, some days better than others but he has done it but educating himself as to what's going on in his brain and using the techniques taught by cbt and 'letting it be there'
Your all doing such good jobs, from what I read here!!

Wishing your baby well soon mum
All our poorly babies made me think what a silly time to have a baby in the winter! More prep next time, actually winter babies are fab as they will have strong immune systems and come the summer time they will be old enough now to play outside In the sunshine (if we have any) ( and of course with sunscreen and kept out sun at hottest points etc;) )

Alyssa I have had a lot of anxiety ever since DS was born. I mostly phone my family members or talk to my DH and let them tell me how daft I am being to worry about various things. It has been half genuine concerns and half over-anxiety. It is hardest when I'm on my own during the day and can't get out because my car is snowed in, and Googling stuff I'm worried about is a bad idea.
Distractions like chocolate, cake, and DVDs or comedy shows are helping me get through those times.

Thanks so much for sharing all of your bf stories. I agree it's the hardest thing I've ever done. DH thinks I should stop as it's taking such a toll on my own physical and mental health. My current plan is to give it till Monday when I see the midwife and reassess. I think if I were more confident I'd just say sod it and quit now, just keeping going cos scared of people's judgement- stupid I know!

Sorry I don't know names yet and can't scroll back on phone. I hope the ill Los are doing better and you're recovering from the scare.

I don't have panic attacks but I do have depression and a history of eating disorders, both of which are rearing their ugly head at the moment. It's so hard to look after yourself properly with a tiny baby demanding everything from you, and being so desperate to do it right. I keep saying to myself 'put your own oxygen mask on first' like in the plane safety announcements. I think it's so apt, although following it is a struggle.

Thanks for the support everyone.
I feel stupid being in tears everytime dp goes on night shift and feel bad that he feels guilty going to work.

We'll we're back in hospital- his breathing was more laboured so took him to the doc and he said to go to hospital-they've confirmed Bronchiolitis alyssa despite the doc saying he didn't have it on weds.

He's on oxygen and has a drip and I can't feed him alyssa did you have this or could you still feed him/feed through a tube? They say they don't want him to feed as if there's milk in his stomach it'll make it harder for his lungs. I'm so scared and worried. DH has gone he to put the kids to bed then coming back in for a while. I'm completely engorged on one side as well and they can't find a bloody breast pump!!..

Oh no mum I hope he feels better soon.
Lleyton didn't have to have oxygen or a drip Hun and they let me feed him as he was having milk every 2/3 hours about 2oz at a time but if his temp hasn't gone down they were going to take the same course of action as Joshua is getting.
I thought it might be that he had as it all sounded the same as Lleyton. Xx

Funny Joshua doesn't have a temp. He had one of 38.5 last night but it went down pretty quickly after he was stripped down. Well I'm hoping they're just being overly precautious and if isn't as bad as it seems. I'm here alone with him watching all the monitors and trying not to think of anything negative but it's so hard...

It will be Hun, Lleyton was breathing very hard and this little area in his neck was moving really fast due to his breathing and that was what they were more concerned about than the temp being hard.
Hospital are very cautious with newborns and I think they are always better safe than sorry sort of thing.
Bronchalitus is awful and the cough sounds nasty, hope he's better soon Hun.
I know it's hard but try and get a mag or something to read or you will drive yourself crazy over monitor watching, he's in the best possible place xx

mum really hope your baby is better quickly, certainly sounds like the hospital are doing all they can. Fingers crossed they can find you a pump too, or at least a sterile bottle to try hand expressing in to.

They brought the breast pump over but no bits (tubes etc) to use it with! I even tried hand expressing into the sink I'm so desperate but couldn't. It hurts like hell. Thanks mogz doc just came in and said its just a waiting game till they get over the worst of it then start getting better. I really hope this is the worst...

Hand expressing is tricky, do try to have a go every now and then as even just managing a little will help you feel more comfortable. Have you got access to a shower in the hospital? my boobs are always at their leakiest during and just after a hot shower. Might be an idea to get your DH to nip to a mothercare/kiddicare in the morning to get a cheapy manual pump so you can express over the next couple of days whilst Joshua gets better to keep your supply up and avoid any blockages.
Genevieve is just about starting to find her fingers, which means we are getting through a lot of wet wipes as she's getting sticky dribble everywhere, but it's very sweet to see the cogs turning in her noggin as she tries to work it all out. I'm so thankful she seems to have gotten over her cold, just a tiny cough left.

Sorry to hear he is in hospital mum. I hope he feels better by morning. Fwiw most big supermarkets do the cheap hand pumps if anyone can get to one tonight.

However in your position I would be ringing the maternity ward, ask to speak to the midwife and explain the problem. Even if they can't let you take one off the ward they might let you nip down and express or something. And keep asking the ward you are on. Explain you have had mastitis recently too.

Big hugs and I hope tonight isn't too bad. Try and get some rest. Xx

mum that is so horrible, I am thinking of you and hope he gets better really quickly.
PPs have already given great advice about the breast management. My only suggestion would be to try hot or cold compresses for comfort if nothing else, I was advised to do that for mastitis, hot before trying to express and cold for after. I was told to use a clean disposable nappy soaked in hot or cold water as it it is designed to hold lots of liquid for a long time at the same temperature so it is better than a towel.
Hope you have a good news soon and a better night tonight.

Thanks everyone- my DH turned up at 9 with my breast pump (the parts for the hospital one never did turn up!) so now I'm comfortable and J has a supply of EBM for when he's well enough to take it. Nurse says he's still not ready for milk and it's so hard trying to settle him when I know he's hungry

Mum I'm so sorry your LO is in the hospital. I hope it's a short stay & you get home soon. Thinking of you!! Xx

Mumof you poor thing - really hope Joshua gets better soon.

Alyssa hope you're doing OK too; I know it is hard without support from DHs/DPs - mine was away with work this week and although he is now back home and on hand, I think I am still feeling the after effects of having to manage everything single handedly for a few days.

I am getting quite concerned about Hannah who is still really unsettled despite us increasing her feed sizes. She sometimes takes the bigger bottles (now offering 6oz at all feeds), but sometimes has less, so I don't think her increased appetite is constant. But she's taken to being really miserable for virtually most of her waking hours. She's still sleeping well at nights, and settles fine on her back in her moses basket then, but during the day her naps tend to be random, with her often waking, seemingly in pain, half way through.

We went through a really tough time with DD1 who was a constant vomiter and a very miserable baby during the daytime (but again, a good sleeper at night), but despite this, we were encouraged by HV's and GP's to just persist as it was a 'laundry problem' and nothing more. I promised myself that this time round if anything similar cropped up I would do something about it, and I am just feeling sad that we seem to be going down the same path.

I was never diagnosed with PND last time round, but in hindsight I think I did suffer with it, so again I am on high alert for any signs of anything similar. I am really weepy at the moment, but I think a lot of that is worry that I will feel as bad as I did last time, rather than actually feeling that bad now, if that makes any sense??

Anyone else got an unhappy baby during the day?!

lis do mention your weepiness and concerns to someone (HV/GP) so that they can keep an eye on you and ask the right questions. Even though its good to be awareof your emotional wellbein sometimes the worry and anticipation of a bad feeling can be just as damaging and exhausting as the feeling itself.
Can't be of any help re Hannah's unsettled times, sorry, Genevieve is still just taking between 3 and 4oz before knocking herself out for a nap (and ridiculous amounts of snoring) and only unsettled in the evening! Which I'm told is very normal. How are her bowel movements? Activity levels? It's so hard when they can't tell you themselves what is wrong. Do push for some help with it though, hopefully it will be something you can get her help with like reflux.
mum how's Joshua been today? We've been thinking of you all and hope he's shown some improvement.

We managed to get out to see friends for a pub lunch today, it was lovely, although I'm sure they were plotting to kidnap our baby! They got married about a year before us and are getting super broody. Tried telling them both about how hard it all is but I'm not sure it put them off one bit, have told them that they're welcome to come practice nappy changes and vomit clean up with our girl
Finally got GP appointment booked for Thursday to check Genevieve's drooping eyelid, fingers crossed they can suggest something to help strengthen the muscle so it corrects itself, but if not I hope that by flagging it up early we can track the progress and get and help/surgery she needs quickly and before it affects her developing eyesight.