December 2013 - sleepless nights & lots of cooing

[Stom91]

Our very first Thread :)

Crispy Im bf and haven't expressed yet. Have all the kit too, it's sat in the sterilizer where it's been all week!! My intention everyday is to give it a go but I just never seem to have time!! Louie feeds around 2 hourly through the day as it is!

Daisie I'm literally exactly the same. Every week I think "this week" but the days just get away from me!

Who is putting their lo to bed upstairs before them? Today I settled ds upstairs after bath, have a video monitor and am checking on him but feels odd. So far he is sleeping well up there. Tried it bc FIL and wife are staying for next 4 days, they are sleeping in hotel next door but will be with us in evenings so thought it would be hard to keep ds settled downstairs. I guess it enforces bed time even more but am a bit SIDS paranoid.

crispy I am debating at the moment! going to see a nursery tomorrow. But it is £1500 pm so would barely make any money once you add train fare etc. and I don't think I could leave him at nursery 7.30-6 every day seems too much. Ideally I would be part time but not sure if my work will go for that.

We're in a bungalow so there's no going upstairs to bed but, no, I'm staying up until her last feed then we all go to bed, too paranoid about turning my back on her for hours whilst she is still being sick. Once we've got that solved I think I'll feel better about popping her down in the bedroom a bit earlier and getting on with something eating chocolate on the sofa

alyssa hope the LOs are feeling a bit better.

mogz I keep meaning to say I need to pick up the wrap from the post office as I was out when it arrived- thank you for sending it!!

I knew this was going to be hard but blimey this being a mummy lark can be so overwhelming. There are times when I feel great and doing well and times where I feel out of my depth. Was in tears yesterday evening and hubby walked in early from work & I think he's now quite worried about me- tried explaining it was just because after an hour I still hadn't managed to put the food shopping away, had had to deal with a poosplosion, feed & mop up a sicky baby and hadn't even started dinner when I'd wanted to have it in the oven half an hour before, all got on top of me but I'm not sure he believes that's all it was.

Had James weighed today and he's now 10lb 6oz so gaining weight nicely!

Big hugs for MrsS, get your DH to grab it on his way to/from work for you. Just getting out of the house, or even out of your PJs, can be such a task some days. Try not to set yourself too much to do, the only tasks to keep on top of should be a clean and fed baby and a fed and watered Mum. If you do find yourself feeling overwhelmed a lot then have a chat to your HV (if she's any good!) or your GP as they can give you some ideas about coping mechanisms and keeping an eye on your mental health. I know it can be hard to step everything right back and leave the housework to pile up and DH to do dinner and so on but it's so much easier once you let go a bit to master the important things, after that you can start doing a bit more, but take it slow. You have my sympathy with th poosplosion, we too had an incident yesterday and madam got poop right up to her belly button! Yuck!

hot, we tried putting J upstairs @ 7 for bed in our room but he won't settle - tried a few nights now and he settles for Max 10 mins then is crying. Frustrating - DH was holding him on and off till 10pm last night. If he did settle upstairs tho don't know how I'd go to bed early and DH do dream feed- I guess he'd have to take him downstairs.

Can't look back to see, but whoever asked about SAHM- I'm one (not really out of choice, was made redundant) but I would like to go back to work at some point- was looking for pt work when I got pregnant tho and it's dire out there- so few decent paid pt jobs and so many people are going for the few out there!

mrs don't worry feeling overwhelmed is Completely normal- I remember with ds1, DH coming home and I was crying and just handed him over, I was so overwhelmed and upset. It does get easier- I'm finding it so hard that LO takes up all my time and then I've still got the other two to deal with! The easiest way to cope, I find is not to have any expectations of what you want to do/can do and just try and go with the flow! (Easier said than done sometimes I know!)

MrsS my LO is 2 months this weekend and I know how I feel, some days I think wow! I got the hang of this mothering lark and then other days I think how on earth am I gonna do this!! It is definitely overwhelming for me at times but I just try to live in the moment and take it easy. Do what I gotta do for baby and try not to worry about other stuff although I do especially when totally sleep deprived. I imagine we will get there. I keep thinking that my life will not be how it was ever again but I have to find a new normality. Your doing a great job!

Also, my LO won't sleep unless on me ! Except after last feed at 10-11pm then she goes in cot fine. I think as we have done this from early days. Maybe something in routines??? I don't know but it's hard!

I can't go back to work before Älfi turns 1 - there is just no childcare for babies. Well, if DH took pappaleave I could go back, but I made him sign over all his paternity leave that he is allowed to to me. In the UK I would have serious thoughtI about going back to work with 3 kids, it would just be to keep my job and pension. Here in Sweden my childcare will only be about £220 a month for 2 full time children and one in before and after school care. I used to pay that for after school club for one child when we lived in England.

Älfi is getting a personality. She smiles mainly for me and likes playing with the owl that hängs over her bouncer.

Thanks everyone, I think I need to stop being so house proud and worrying about the housework, I'm a real perfectionist and hate things being untidy so if I can start to accept it will get tidy when it can and that dinner will sometimes have to wait and doesn't need to be ready for when DH walks through the door I might alleviate half of the problem.

13loki that really is amazing, if that was offered in the uk far more mums would go back fulltime!

It's one of the main reasons we moved. There are some downsides, too, like yesterday being in tears because the payTV company had 3 levels of "if you want this, press one" and my Swedish is bad so I got confused on the third level .

You would think with DS at school and DD1 in childcare 15 hours a week I would be able to keep the house tidy. I can't. I just about manage to get all the milk Älfi vomits cleaned up. Yesterday DH cooked because I forgot to get the stuff out of the freezer for dinner.

I love being able to read these threads! Thank you fellow mummies!! I am loving poosplosion!

hotmad I've been reading about how it is totally normal and natural for young babies to only want to sleep on their mum. I don't think we are developing bad habits just yet. Do any of you get the NHS emails about "your baby this week" I was reading about routines this week and it says a good time to start trying for routines is 3 months!

I'm starting to look at parenting books and such but I don't know if I want to go down that route or if I'd like to just wing it. Someone recommend The Baby Whisperer which I'm trying to see if I can borrow rather than buy.

mrs I'm the same- I get agitated if the place is a mess but it's more stressful if I dwell on not being able to do it so it's best to just let it go!

hot I guess Joshua isn't the only one preferring his mum and dad to the Moses basket in the evenings then! I don't really mind as long as he keeps sleeping well from 10.30-7am!! I seem to remember both my others being the same and only settling well from about 2 -2 1/2 months onwards so I think it's pretty common! Once they can self settle it makes it a whole lot easier

Bugger. I thought I was ok with leaving the housework for a while but the landlord has just told us we have an inspection next month! Do you think they'll grant us a bit if leeway? I mean, nothing is broken or damaged in the house it's just a bit of a mess.

mogz if your landlord is a reasonable person surely they'll forgive! I mean a few dirty dishes or mucky bathrooms surely cannot hurt you. You've got much more pressing issues. If he gives you any stick you'd have grounds for a post in the AIBU threads!

mogz I would think they're looking more for permanent damage than mess that can be cleared up. But it's amazing what you can do in a couple of hours so could someone take lo the morning before inspection and you just blitz it? Also a month is a long time in baby world, you'll probably have had time to clean by then

Thanks, you've calmed me down I might ask my mum to come over the weekend before to entertain the baby whilst DH and I get cleaning.

It's funny cos I really love the cuddles I get when she sleeping, really is a special moment it feels like. Although this week she's being really fussy at feed times, a new challenge!

I think mogz your landlord should definitely understand you have a new baby and house work is last thing on your mind, like someone said also they prob looking for major damage, long as u do a quick clean up I think u will be fine.....

So routines are good to start at 3 months then?

Oh yeh can anyone recommend a good book for help with routine and stuff like that? I've heard a lot about the baby whisperer, is that any good? I've been told by many to avoid Gina ford books like the plague!

hotmad, I was reading this: www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/getting-baby-to-sleep.aspx#close

and under the heading Establishing a bedtime routine it says: You may feel ready to introduce a bedtime routine when your baby is around three months old. Getting them into a simple, soothing bedtime routine can be helpful for everyone and can help prevent sleeping problems later on...

Thanks crispy for that link,
With my LO, she will only stay asleep for a good length if I hold her or if in pram. I don't know how we gonna get out of that unless she just grows out of it, I don't mind for now but I don't think it can always be this way!

hotmad my little lad is exactly the same. He only falls asleep if I feed him until hes asleep, is in my moby wrap or in the car seat/pushchair. I can't help but worry that I'll never be able to put him down to sleep but as someone mentioned a few posts down - once they can self sooth it is so much easier. I know Thomas is heading in the direction of self soothing as his little fist often finds his mouth and he definitely slobbers all over it. It is just at the minute, it doesn't seem to calm him down at all!

It is a wet and miserable day today though and I just had the most lovely nap with little Thomas sleeping on my chest. I know when he is a 20 year old man it will be things like that I remember. Does anyone else still look at there little one and think "How did you get here?" I found the whole pregnancy/labour and now baby thing a bit surreal. Like I keep thinking when is it going to hit me - and it still hasn't. I'm not a religious person but blimey, it is a miracle isn't it.

not sure what has come over me, must be my post nap haze, I'm feeling all soppy.

Crispy I'm mostly left wondering, gee, where did all that poo come from!?! size of a two pound coin, yeah right!
I do know what you mean, I had such a rough pregnancy it's hard to reconcile it in my brain with this gorgeous little person now in my arms. More so as she developes a little personality and starts getting to those early milestones. She managed to push up for a count of 10 yesterday and I cried, I swear I was never soppy before!
Well done to Thomas and his slobbery little hands.
What lovely things has everyone else's LOs been getting up to?