Due Dec 2006 - Reunion thread

[weirdbird]

Hello everyone, have recently started posting again, so hello to any of our old group.
How is everyone finding having a 6 nearly 7 tr old?

I am still drinking Milo and still have an addiction to Tunnocks tea cakes

I now have a DS who is 3
DD1 is now at secondary school and making me feel old

I have been really busy with some friends that came out to visit from the UK. It was fabulous but totalling knackering,...will write more later...

Enjoy the aq and cheers!

((AQ)) Is it too early for ?

God such a whiney post, sorry guys. Having a hard week. But 3 dc packed off to dance class and a few hours to myself. It might be ok in France castles but a little early here for ! Saw milo in a local shop for about £4, small tin. Wish I had bought now in memory. Bebe can't believe dd turning 1 eek. Time goes marching on.

AQ, I feel your pain re: meltdowns. Ds1 is actually a bit better at the moment but I worry how the separation and ultimate divorce will affect him - and ds2 of course. Have spoken with a play therapist about setting up sessions for them both and have a wonderful nanny at the moment which has helped tremendously for now. I suppose I'm just taking it one day at a time. I told some friends at dinner last night that I am totally into survival mode atm.

my new kitten came with fleas and dd2 had an upset tummy last night.

Oh dear EV, hope both can be sorted quickly.
Jabber, is Dh being really awkward still? The boys may cope better with it all if you're happier, my dc react a lot to tension between dp & I. Meltdowns have so many triggers don't they?
At doctors to ask about help for anxiety - give me drugs!

I think I shall be joining you AQ. Let me know if you get any good ones!

Aww, castles not you too! He's suggested Venlafaxine. Can't have Beta blockers as I'm asthmatic. I don't want another long-term drug but can't carry on like this. Will take a few weeks, will let you know!

AQ, I'm back on Xanax as my asthma is stress induced. So it has the added benefit of helping me breathe while helping to reduce the panic attacks :)

Yes, h is being difficult in his typical passive/aggressive and occasionally verbally abusive way. At least since I am not around so much the abuse is not constant anymore. I have finally found a therapist for the boys and they should start on Monday. When I have them for a time everything gets calm and lovely but transitioning them from h's house to mine is hard. Especially since he is still in our original home so the boys think of that still as home and I am in the "other house".

Gotta love Zanax Hopefully and honestly I think it will be hard until divorce is through and house sold but seeing as how the boys have coped so well, it will be a better life for all of you (well maybe not Dh!). I'm avoiding going home because the kitchen is being worked on and the mess makes me so anxious! Booked a party for my soon to be 7 yo grumpy ds yesterday so at least that's done. And I bought him a box full of Baker Ross stuff last week which should make him v happy (arts & crafts).

Evenin´all!

Well my baby girl is now 1 she didn´t have a clue what was going on but the boys took great delight opening the presents on her behalf! I made a cake and it was a messy disaster, why I just didn´t just go out and buy one is beyond me baking is not my strong point

How are things with you this week aq? I hope you start to feel better soon I used to suffer from terrible anxiety when I was teaching and it was unbearable, I didn´t even have children then so may heart goes out to you...remember nothing lasts forever...

Thinking of you too jabber

Looks like DH will have to go and work in Barcelona for at least 8 months which means he´ll be away from home Mon -Friday...realistically it
shouldn´t make too much of a difference as he´s out of the house ´til late most nights anyway but 8 months seems like a hell of a long time...

You lot a resilient bunch you know. Whatever hits you you pick yourselves up, dust off and keep going. You are fantastic.

Bebe happy birthday to your wee girl. Sorry about dh and work. Dh used to work away, once we got used to it I kind of liked it. I had my routine, I was organised, I had full command of the TV remote and could starfish in bed. Then when he was home he was properly home to take a load off and spend time with the oiks. I got pretty ratty and annoyed and wanted him to sod off again when he stopped and started working full time from home.

Weirdbird when do you find out if your job is permanent?

Jabber you are doing so well in a shitty time. You'll bring those boys of yours through. Play therapy sounds like a great idea :)

AQ how you doing? Goodness I really need to get to Hull for a bit and see you! Hoping to be along in Feb for a night but that's AGES away!

Oh I can't wait until Feb. Time off, end of year, break before year 2 starts and a whole 2 nights panicking about having left ds2 for the first time in Oxford with dh in a posh hotel to do very little other than have uninterrupted sex sleep! Oh and attend the wedding of a very dear friend.

I have come to the conclusion that my cycle is not doing its usual thing of being kind to me when it first returns after babies. Getting pg again is looking like an attractive option right now . Yesterday would have been 28 days. I have been vile for around a week, yelling, ranting etc. Then day before yesterday I got all emotional. The very mention of children in need or something makes me tear up. Then I made an idiot of myself at uni because a girl (who quite clearly doesn't like me all that much, makes it clear what she thinks of my parenting style and is generally obnoxious and makes me feel like I'm back in high school) was being a dick in class (who, at age 28, thinks it is acceptable to start poking the person sitting next to you and hissing at them that they are breathing too loudly?). So I got really pissed off and ended up in tears.

So today I have so far done nothing but stare at my pile of books. I should have kept ds2 off the childminders and gone to toddler group and had a good time with my old friends.

What's good for mood swings? I can't cope if my cycle is going to go back to that. It felt like back when I was on the pill and completely loopy.

Indith :( the Pill made me horrible so have no great suggestions. I wonder about the Ring? It releases just a bit of hormone internally. Never tried it myself though.

I can't imagine dealing with school and 3 children. Although, I am starting to realize that being a part-time mum may suit me better than being a full-time one.

Bebe, I did the Minecraft cake thing this year and yes, wondered after 3 hours what on earth possessed me. Will be buying the next one for next week.

Last night was the best night in a long time with the boys. I am thankful and cautiously optimistic that there may be others along the way.

The stress of it all has made my asthma dramatically worse and I am dealing with my third bout of Bell's Palsy. Last one was 8 years ago and I had hoped it would not reoccur. Thankfully I can actually call in my own meds for it and was at my helpful 24 hour pharmacy at 2:00 am last Saturday. I think last night may have been the peak of it. Still have at least 4 days on meds.

AQ, I think of you often and cannot imagine dealing with more than one child who has the issues of ds1. Occupational Therapy has helped him amazingly though. Is that part of what they are doing at his school?

Jabber, you have so much to deal with but you always sound so positive and might I say always look so glamorous on FB! Your boys are really lucky to have a mum like you.

Indith, I sympathise. I have terrible hormone/cycles. Apparently agnus castus (a herbal thingy) is meant to be good for hormones. As is making sure you have enough omega 3 in you. Otherwise I heartily recommend having another baby

bebe, my DH worked away for a year. It was ok. I wish we'd carried on doing it as now we are all here (in France) and it is grim. For me anyway. I think I have "seen" you on some of the overseas boards. I go by another name sometimes.

AQ, let me know how you get on with the Venlafaxine. I read about it the other day and was interested that like so many other ADs it doesn't cause weight gain. I put on nearly 2 stone when I was on ADs before and it's taken me ages to lose it. You are doing well. You know we are all here for you.

We've been in France for 9 months now. I am constantly amazed at what a miserable, unfriendly bunch the French are. In this region anyway. It's been said before but this land of plenty is too good for them. Diatribe aside, the DCs are really happy and doing so well in French schools. DH is busy with his business and seems happy and motivated though I think he misses London as much as me just doesn't have the time to moan think about it like me!

Oi! Some of us Frogs are nice you know

It is always hard getting settled into a new place. I think in France they don't socialise in the same way we do here (toddler groups, school mums and the like) so it is harder to settle in and make new friends yourself. And lets face it a good social group is hat makes or breaks a place. I hope you manage to find your own space there. Where are you? From a personal point of view I'd suggest things like getting involved in guides/scouts as good ways of meeting people, they are almost always a friendly bunch and you get a ready made community. Otherwise things like choirs are good too.

Sometimes it just sucks though. I remember I had a love/hate relationship with Russia but I mostly felt pretty settled there. Then I moved on to Spain and I just hated it. So glad I only had to stick it out 6 months because I couldn't stand it. I was at uni, plenty of people around, I was working too but urgh.

Ha ha Indith. Didn't know you were French. Bet you're not from round here! Loiret in The Centre. Noone who is sane knows it or goes there unless they like hunting. I have quite a few French friends. In England. But they are nothing like the weirdos ones here. There is one woman here who is lovely though she's so busy I only see her once every 6 weeks. Surprise, surprise she is married to an English guy and used to live in England. She has lived here for 20 years and still doesn't know her neighbours.

I've lived in lots of places abroad and I've never come across a place like this. I don't think they have scouts/guides here. It is such an insular place. Honestly, it is unbelievably strange and I love France generally. I was in Bordeaux at half-term which is a wonderful place. Paris - love it. Lyon, Marseille, Strasbourg, Reims - lovely. Anywhere but here

Half French. My mum is from Bordeaux, I adore Bordeaux. So does Dh. If it were not for the fact that midwifery is so dire in France I'd be pushing for a move over once I've qualified.

Well, erm.....at least you are close to lots of pretty places.

Shame it is so insular. As you say, plenty of places are lovely. I guess you could have the same moving to somewhere new in the UK, lots of villages especially around here you have to be born and bred over several generations to be considered an acceptable resident. Thankfully our village is rather more welcoming!

At work so just a quick message! It's actually really nice being back on mn with you all. Fb is pants by comparison and I want to leave it really. Castles, it's so hard that the only one not happy really is you. But you matter too when it comes to family decisions. Indith ugh know the hormone stuff well. Castles recommended pulsatilla to me eons ago and I must say its quite helpful. And b vitamins. But pulsatilla is useful for the teary days

Indith - the first have of your post yesterday is brilliant and it really made me laugh! Yes, I can see lots of advantages to DH working away, I suppose selfishly on those shit less good days it is always a relief to know another adult is coming home. I am very of your weekend away, I bet Feb can´t come quick enough for you. It has been sooo long that DH and I managed any time together on our own that I worry we wouldn´t know what to say to each other now Yet another disadvantage of living somewhere where you have no close friends or family nearby...

castles - yes I often post on the overseas board, especially on those "not happy abroad" type threads...it´s uncanny as I could have written most of what you write about life in France myself. I also find the Spanish a pretty unfriendly lot, I swear there are Mums at the boys school who I "know" who will quite happily walk past me and ignore me unless I offer an "hola" first. I used to think that me being English would be a conversation starter but no, nada. I can´t even "blame" it on living in a village as we are just 20mins out of the capital FGS - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!! It really is unbelievable. Sadly, after 7 long years I have come to expect it now and it doesn´t bother me the same...life here is as crap as ever really

Jabber - sorry to hear how the stress of everything is affecting your health The Bells Palsy must be very, very scary indeed...I hope the meds sort it out. I have to agree with castles and say you do come across as such a positive person and you look lovely in your photos, the sort of person who just lights up a room I´m sure there´ll soon be some light for you at the end of this long tunnel...btw how is Finn?

I also suffer with awful PMT, seems I have about 10 days out of every month where I feel absolutely shocking, it shouldn´t have to be like this I´m sure...I am hardly b´feeding at all now, she has pretty much decided to self wean in the last couple of weeks so I am wondering about the knock on effect there...I fed the boys for much, much longer and don´t remember crashing down like this

Blimey, that´s enough from me! Off to the in-laws for the weekend to celebrate Agathas´s Birthday with them so will catch up again on Monday

Have a lovely weekend you lovely lot

It might not be far out of the capital but it is rather insular! Not sureHow anyonemakes friends around there. Still can't believe I was working there when I became pg with ds1. One of these days I'm going to go visit my lovely friend who works in Madrid and we will get together for cake and wine

Thanks for mood swing suggestions. I shall give some a go.

bebe, well you have a outsider in arms in me! I started a "not living the dream" thread recently and had to namechange as I feel so guilty as we are lucky materially. Those things don't mean much to me though - I just like having a chat and a laugh and feeling welcome.

oooh Indith, I love Bordeaux. I would live there in a jiffy. The people seem so "normal" too. It helps that they love the English. Sigh. Good luck with your midwifery course. I have 2 good friends who are midwives and they love their job. They still get excited and say each delivery is like the first and they have been doing it a looong time.

Didn't cover much in my message yesterday. Anxiety means I struggle to keep much in my head! Indith, hope you get the hormones under control. I had 2 tests this year as I was convinced I was peri-menopausal. But just raging PMT. I do feel more normal knowing that you and Bebe have same issues as none of my RL friends will admit to it. I am lachrymose normally (just learnt that word on MN) but the weeping at certain times a month is ridiculous.
I bow before anyone who does all this kids stuff without dh and/or foreign country without support. I have few RL friends, find the school run gate terrifying at times even after all these years but I have family close by (ironic given I'm from halfway across the world!) and people in Hull are very friendly. As you know Indith! Dp and I have our issues and I've been sleeping in the spare bedroom for most of the year but don't think I could hack it during the week without him.
Jabber, don't know much about Bell's but really sorry that this is affecting your health so much

Yay it is so nice to come, and find you all chatting away, tis like walking into a room of old friends and not having to make polite conversation, just knowing you are accepted and can relax, you made me

I am another who has dire Pmt since my 3rd and should probably be taking AD's but am quite honestly scared that they may make things worse.
I have however asked to have my 2nd course of treatment for PTSD that I thought I didn't need

I have been for my first 2 sessions of specialist physio, thank god for bupa cover with my job, the nns as much as I appreciate it have been pretty dire sorting me out and I couldn't face the fight to get the treatment out of area so have ended up paying myself.

It was probably the bizarrest situation I have ever been in, but my pelvic muscles have been graded they got 3 out of 5 and have been given homework, feel like I'm back at a very strange school!

I think this thread just goes to show how we really don't know what goes on in other people's lives around us, when they look so different to how their presented to the rest of the world!

I keep forgetting things I was gonna post, Doh!

Indith - no idea on the job front, my last contract had expired 2 weeks before they even got me a new one, was Mega stressed. This one expires at Xmas and I don't imagine it will be sorted any sooner on past experience.

Jabber - you will get through this, one day at a time, Bell's palsy must be very scary though, I hope it stays away for good after this, do you think it is related to stress?

Indith - I tear up all the time, school plays, DIY SOS, children in need, have tried to just accept recently that that is just the way I am these days and not get embarrassed or try and cover it up, not quite their yet, but trying to be.

Bebe - awww baby girl, am would love another one, huge sympathy on the Dh working away I would find that hard, I hope it is easier in reality and you end up feeling like Indith did and enjoying it.

Castles - sympathy on the isolation, that sounds really lonely for you and even harder when everyone else seems happy, how long are you meant to be there?

AQ - you have done better than me on who is who from Fb to here, I think I need to make a crib sheet, I find the school gate terrifying as well, tis one of the silver linings of having to go back to work that I only have to do it 2 days a week!