Dec 08 - The One where they take on the world (school)

[DeidreBarlow]

New thread

Beans do you mean your friend went for 12 months then coming back? Do they hold a place at their school?

Great news about the poo. You'll be back to normal in no time.

They won't hold a place at a specific state school Rubes. However, often even the most oversubscribed schools have places in year 1,2,3 etc. it's reception that's a nightmare to get in. Ask DS' school whether they currently have vacancies in Y1& 2 and you will get a picture of whether it will be hard to get him back in.

Ah that's true Arti. I guess I could put their names down straight away (the Sept before) on the list if there wasn't a place. The other thing is though, we wouldn't necessarily come back to the same area as dh would have a blank canvas and would literally be going wherever the best job was as he'd be finished the rotation. Chances are it would be the north west Thames region but could potentially be anywhere.

And I think if there wasn't a decent state school near whatever job he took we'd be putting them in private anyway.
Glad to have you all to ask these things. DH obviously has to do what's best for career which in turn means what's best for us all, but hard to chat to anyone else ie my family back there as they are obviously v keen for us to come.

Last night I had a nightmare that I posted on AIBU and got completely laid into, then all you guys piled in and defended me! It was rather lovely.

When will my hard boobs go down??

Had a 3 hour sleep this afternoon. Have got a horrific headache at the moment. It's miserable! Thank The Lord for paracetamol.

Artiii, I would also say something to the au pair and tell her not to meet that man. It doesn't sound good.

Rubes, I guess you and DH need to have a really good conversation about the job. Hmmm. I don't think there's any easy answer. Pros and cons to both. Maybe make a list together.

Quite accurate Beans, we've always got yer back Yes good advice, we've had updated info and going to nut it out tonight.
Hope the ample bosom settles - I remember how painful that was as ds would never take enough to relieve me so I would often turn to the pump.

Been at the waterslides, and bloody knackered..... DD is a nutter, and scoots past the measuring thing that says she must be at least a meter high or whatever, then off she goes.

DS had homework (first ever) over the weekend. Did the letter/word stuff really well.
Also had a project to lay the table for a meal with how many people, take or drawer a picture of it and put the number of how many, then stick it in his "communication book" DH is getting slightly carried away and we have all sorts of printed designs and lamination going on..... Dear got I think he's trying to wind up "Parth's Mum" as she keeps banging on to me how great her son is. He actually came to school with a medal he'd won at some reading thing (outside of school) give me strength!

Sorry Rubes I've had super busy weekend. I keep going back & forth with your dilemma, I think you need to go over each of the points you bought up here with DH.

Your job, that's a tricky one as you lose or your trips. But you were finding it tricky to keep anyway. Were you thinking of keeping it up or not anyway?

The school thing, I think it would be worth having a chat to the teacher or the headteacher. Tell her you don't know if it will or won't happen your just looking at your options. If you are thinking of moving anyway from this area,well this bit is not really an issue.

A year isn't very long but it'd be an awesome year for the kids. They are only young so it isn't too unsettling for them and a bit exciting to meet new friends for a year.

I guess a way to look at how you feel about it, is imagine if DH told you right now that it's not going to happen, the fellowship is off, would you be relieved or disappointed?

Beans what was the AIBU about, who was mean to you, let me at em. For big, hard, sore boosies I used to have a hot shower or bath and just let em flow with the warm water. Careful how much you pump at the moment cos while it gives relief it also boosts je boobs to produce more.

Fark I'm tired, did loads this weekend, shatterado.

congratulations Beans!

work work work all blinking week plus yesterday apart from Friday when I thought I'd catch up but spent so long getting my brain scrambled I didn't. So I'm totally behind and lost again. Was off today. Got old. Dcs went to rugby then we were at a 4 year old's birthday party. Fun fun. Dds2 still awake, refusing ot sleep or let go of boobs.

FFS just for once I'd like to be able to put him down long enough to have a wee or shag dh. Is that too much of an ask for an 18 month old?

Nights for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. I'll be knackered and grumpy. Dh will be knackered and grumpy dealing with ds2 all night who will be rathe rmiffed that the boobs are not there.

Gosh Rubes, a lot to think about!

How are the boobs Beans? Hand express for comfort, feed on demand, they will settle!

Arti your poor dd!

Oh and PD sorry you are worried about ds, I hope that any assessment the school does brings comfort rather than angst.

Yes, you're right on the pumping, was an error in retrospect, but I seem to have got rid of some of the solidness of them and am less uncomfortable at the moment. Phew.

My oldest friend had a little boy today! She has 2 DDs already and her DH was desperate for a boy, but they hadn't found out the sex, so he's going to be chuffed to bits! It's also her DD2's birthday today, so good timing! And my due date for DD3. I'm so relieved DH actually wanted another girl. Could have been a shocker!

Beans your DH is like my brother, he had 4 daughters with his first wife. When his ex was pregnant with the 3rd & 4th he was baffled by the amount of people who said he must be wanting a boy. When they were little he said there was nothing better than having a load of girls wanting a hug when he got home.

Funny that everyone said I must be desperate for a girl and in fact girls terrify me and super happy to be having another boy.

Indith Hope your first night shift goes well. I did nights in a factory when I was a student and have every sympathy with anyone who has to do them.

Arti Did you speak to the au pair about the 'nice man'? I think you need a chat about taking care of herself, contraception, etc. Her mum might not have equipped her for the big, wide world, boyfriends etc.

Beans I think hand expressing a tiny bit to lessen the pain is ok but not pumping sessions unless you want to express.

Ah there you are Vag. Yes we have done / still doing that - covering points I've raised here, as well as many more.
The thing is, it may come down to just finances. I've highlighted a lot if things dh hadn't taken into account so he's still 50/50 if not less keen now. At the end of the day I'll be happy to do whatever he thinks is best really.
It could all be down to what happens at his interview tomorrow. And depending the outcome, then it could be finances. He's had 2 guys email him back from over there now. It's the highest paid fellowship in the country, but they both said independently that the 12 month stint is crippling them financially as the wage quite low and they have lost / losing money big time, although they're having fun, they've had to borrow money. We can't really risk that so would have to do in depth finance spreadsheet if we lean towards going, but I don't think it would be favorable.

Hope the Norks are ok beans.

I have to say the finances bit would put me in the "no"voters camp. The move over alone will cost a bomb then you have to move back again

Yes exactly. We'd sell the cheaper car, but ship the other as it's worth 3 times as much there then sell it before we come back. Then there's storing our furniture over here, travel costs for us all plus for the dog then quarantine and associated fees. On it goes. Plus we'd have the worry of not getting a tenant or a tenant ending lease early so if we were without rent even one month we'd be crippled. But, if it is indeed as impressive for the CV as it sounds, maybe it's worth the gamble..... All will be somewhat decided by tomorrows end I bet.

One of the guys who is there has kids and said the exact same grocery shop he does there as he does at home, is a lot more. That I already new though, as my family constantly say it's cheaper here, unless it's meat, which is generally cheaper here. But that's not the major issue - it's dh's loss of income.
Anywho, twas a good day here all round at school, and nursery. How are all the other littles getting on?

Where's Lady? Off testing for Baby 3 I hope Or more likely avoiding the pestering to test! Get yer self down to Boot's Miss Shady - we want more baby hype!

new? lame, I mean knew.

Rubes would he not get a relocation allowance?

Great end to the day just had an argument with the DS' karate teacher. He is such a bully am fuming. All because I asked him to clarify why he pulled a small group of DS2s class away and told them they weren't allowed to go for a badge. He is such a jekyll and hyde one wk super happy and nice to the kids the next its like a cloud of doom over the class and he has them in time out for half the class. I mean fgs they are 4yrs old one child got put in time out today because he made a popping noise with his mouth. Ds2 got put in time out for not standing like a statue.

no, only in the UK. This isn't mandatory.
Karate teacher sounds like a wanker.

bum holes rubes. The finances would have my knickers in a twist too. Unless you can go and guarantee you can cover your life and all expenses ie mortgage etc It would be a no go for me.

You're telling me he is a wanker. All the mums have been complaining about him but of course big mouth here is the one who actually says something and gets a mouthful of crap back off him

that's the thing - it's never going to be a certain. We know the pay, and that it will cover most living expenses, but it would be stressful if tenant stuff went tits up here, or appliances broke down etc, then there's the loss of income from additional work dh does here. It really depends on whether he thinks its brilliant enough to risk gambling. I'm not convinced. Would also be hard to be SO close to family and not afford to fly up for the weekend etc. I've caught planes like they're buses for the past 15 years so would be really frustrating.They would visit of course, but then there's dh saying he'd pop back in his annual leave to keep our business ticking over - so that's hardly family holiday time together!

I'd rally together with the other Mums and get them to all pull out of his classes!

#powerinnumbers Jam!

Rubes, it does sound to me like you'd rather not go. Cons are outweighing the pros, even if good for DH's career. Could he not look for the equivalent placement in the uk? Would make life a lot easier all round.

I'm in bed. DD3 passed out downstairs so have come up quickly to get some sleep before she starts grobletting around for more boob. She has lost 60g or 2oz of her birth weight. Basically nothingM the midwife said she is very impressed with her feeding and its a delight and rare to see a baby so well latched so early. I think what she was saying kindly is that DD3 is a little hog and can't stop feeding. Every 1.5hrs last night, thanks love. Need her to become less nocturnal.

DH continues to be a total star. He took the girls to a drinks party last night and they didn't get to bed til 8.45pm, which I was furious about in a school night. Then they slept til 8.10am and he managed to get them showered, hair washed, dressed, breakfasted and out of the door by 8.40am. I just did the hair brush! Not something I could manage. Plus he continues to feed us all and today he defrosted the fridge freezer. I've been meaning to do it for 18 months. He's so domesticated, makes me feel quite useless. And he's doing the shopping. I'm doing the cleaning and washing, so am not entirely unhelpful, but pretty much!

Right. To sleep.