November 2012 - The first fearless steps and the rest of us hoping our babies remain stationary for a bit longer

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1833979-November-2012-Teeth-Dont-talk-to-us-about-teeth

PP that's the issue isn't it... Illness and redundancy don't look at any of them. Big hugs.

Rubbish about the nappy and the sleep

Pig sorry to hear of the pox. Big cuddles to the pigsty.

Is it insane to take a insanely grumpy lo to nandos?
He was really hard at home n FH was at work. Then took him to my mums and the same. Cousins mentioned going for food. So I took my snotty nosed nightmare child.
Hoping the change would help. He was manageable which was good. Helped by the fact there were a few of us to take turns picking him up.
And he enjoyed the chicken

FH n I were discussing last night how hard we are finding lo ATM. I'm struggling most as he wants attention n cuddles which bring on Braxton hicks from picking him up he cries for no reason n something we tried half n hour go which didn't work all of a sudden works.
Does really make me think of some of you who have this all the time. Seriously your all superwomen.

Money doesn't make you happy. And you can be surrounded by ppl and still be lonely. Corny. But true.

Hugs To all who need it.

It'd be nice not to feel guilty every time i eat though

Much harder to be miserable in a BMW than on a bike. I'd be a lot happier if i didn't have to worry about each bill and food shop.

Why did I bother getting dressed? Just had calpol spat all over me

hugs to chasing and pidj. Please don't go, but if you do need a break to concentrate on RL then come back when you feel ready. I have to say I find the reassurance from others that I am not the only one who struggles with night wakings, grumpy days, feeding problems etc really great on here. Us all being able to come on and moan is what makes it such a useful place I think.
I do have the secure family life and enough money and I'm grateful for that but it doesn't make life easy - being a mum is bloody hard and sometimes I don't want to do the mummy thing either but ofcourse that's not a choice and my DH works long hours so its pretty much just me and F most of the time. I think all mums deserve a medal - particularly single mums! (thinks there should be a medal icon)

Your right pidj that must suck. No advice I'm afraid but hugs

Sorry, i get very defensive at the implication that 5 redundancies in the first 8 months of last year (1 for me, 4 for dp) leading to our current situation is somehow because i haven't worked hard enough. Yes, i chose a low paid career but that was in the belief that i could save for my MA in music therapy not that a member of the SLT in my 1st job would bully me out of an otherwise good place and into a series of short term pt contracts

Sorry Pidj when I mentioned that we struggled when DH was doing his PhD it wasn't saying 'we've worked hard to get here' but rather I can empathise with being absolutely skint. We had £200 a month for food, bus fare, fuel, clothes and 'disposable' (haha!) income. No one is judging you pidj but sometimes it feels very hard to say anything without causing offence to someone . I can empathise with feeling guilty when I eat but for different reasons (playing the has it got dairy in it and will it hurt him roulette!). I don't want to think this thread has to be edited so we don't mention partners, possessions, sleep or the million and one other things that could cause offence (like when you buggers are eating chocolate ) - it's been, since we POAS way back in spring 2012 a place where we can all just vent and share and I do hope it can stay that way.

pidj and chasing sorry you feel that way. Life isn't a bed of roses for anyone, we all have issues in our lives I'm sure. Yes my parents help us out a lot and I'm grateful for that but DP's parents are 4,000 odd miles away and I have no idea when they will even meet C. It breaks my heart, then I come on mn and see people slagging off their ILs and it hits a nerve. That's life though I'm afraid and this thread is great for everyone to share the good and the bad. I hope neither of you leave but if you need to take a bit of a breather then I understand.

I agree YW. All of us have things that others don't and it can be hard to hear when it's your 'without' but equally I enjoy hearing about others' successes and happy times as much as it is a relief to hear when others have the same worries or difficulties. I belonged to another supportive group on MN but it got to the point where you weren't welcome unless things were really bad and couldn't post about anything positive.

I feel bad for posting that I had a nice week with the ILs but DH and I have never had holidays apart from visiting them - we both pursued creative careers that didn't work out and in our late thirties are just starting out, so I do understand what it is like to have no money.

There are some on here that have had to deal with extreme circumstances and I won't pretend to understand what that is like, but the quiche is an exceptionally loving, supportive bunch and I don't think that anyone is without empathy through their own worries or fears.

I hope no-one decides to leave but everyone takes breaks from time to time when they need to, safe in the knowledge that the warm collective quiche bosom is waiting for their return. xx

I think yw you are right. In a group as large as this it is hard to say much without possibly causing offence or upset. I just try to be happy for those of you who have the whatever I don't have, relief that I don't have some of the problems others have, and empathy with those who are having trouble too (not just relief!)

It's very easy to get a snapshot of people's lives on here and not see everything that isn't posted, past or present. But I think we should still be able to post what we need to post, be that a boast, a comment or a whinge.

Here's my boast: it is almost noon and I have had to sit through no cbeebies yet today. It's a fucking record. I love nursery.

Here's my whine. I went to pick up LO from her two hour session and DD1 caught sight of me and thought I was picking her up too. She was so happy then so and . I felt horrible. She was having a good time when I arrived so no reason not to leave her, and I'm sure she settled back in in minutes. But I felt horribly guilty for taking her sister home and not her. She must just not have understood.

Just some advice I thought I'd remind you of seeing as we have quite a few teeth.
Lo sucks his thumb. He has developed a patch of hard skin. More so since his teeth have come in.
Can't remember who recommended it. But using lansol nipple cream for a couple days has really helped.

Jic anyone else is experiencing similar.

Not caught up properly but will do later. Dishing out some hugs for those needing them x

I try to keep my posts positive as that's generally my disposition. But that doesn't mean I have had things easy, as I think it was yw who said we only see a snapshot of people's lives on here. We know not of what's happened pre baby days. And there are so many of us on here that have had to deal with such awful situations that I can't comprehend going through. But I think we all need to feel we can share what we are going through be it negative, positive, or jut generally need to rant, boast etc. god knows I've done my fair share of venting on here. I'm putting this really badly but just wanted to say I like the fact we can all share our experiences both good and bad and would like to think we don't have to feel guilty for posting about good things for fear of upsetting people. But I do understand it can be hard when you are in a situation were you can't have the family life you hoped for. But I like to think this quiche is a sort of support network too.

Gosh ir got to rush to get DD1's pre school injection so no time to read back my post. I hope it comes across as intended and doesn't offend anyone xx

Apple, Eliza, Ginger and others have put it better than me. We all have crosses to bear and some folks struggles are more than I could cope with and I include your situation in that Pidj . I also know that my rants about folks taking advantage of in laws / relatives close by say more about me and my jealousy / chip potato field on my shoulder about losing my Mum and not having that option - than anything else. I know your reality is incredibly hard Pidj and given our current political climate you must feel defensive but no one has implied you are in your position because you've not worked hard and none of the quiche would - its just not that sort of place, and it's a little hurtful that you could think it. As the saying goes, if hard work really was the secret to riches, women in sub Saharan Africa would all be millionaires. You are where you are from sheer bad luck. We know that and would change it if we could

Ginger awww poor DD1 she'll be playing happily within 2 minutes I'm sure - little tink.

Has anyone else realised that their previously angelic baby was actually just immobile and plotting all the stuff they were going to wreck!!! He's such a little bugger now he's moving - I say 'no' he smiles and keeps doing it, or worse gives me a kiss or a pat on the arm and then ignores me!!!

Morning. P and M have been packed off for a few hours with the macpac and a picnic so I can crack on with some housework. The house needs gutted!

I dont really know what to say to this morning's chat. I am someone who is so easily worn down and takes everything personally. I have always been conscious that others who havent worked a day in their lives seemingly have so much more than me, and as much as I hate to admit it, this bothers me.

BUT I can take some comfort from the fact I own my 9yr old renault outright and next door will lose their 63 plate BMW with one missed payment. I have awful, disinterested ILs and an alcoholic, abusive, waste of space biological dad; but a fantastic mum and step dad.

Pidj has a VVVVDP and I have, well, a P. Just.

But I am a glass half empty person by type and constantly need to remind myself of these things.

We all have things others don't, and those who look like they have lots of material posessions probably either owe the bank £££££s or have ishoos elsewhere in their lives. We have friends who can put on a great show to the outside world that they have a solid loving relationship, own their own house/pub/sports cars and are loaded. I know for a fact they are one missed pay cheque away from bankruptcy and sleep in different bedrooms because they cannot afford to seperate. They are bloody good actors though.

Yes yw they are starting to practice for toddlerdom. LO finds it hilarious when I say no. And has a real temper tantrum when I stop her from doing something. They are starting to push our buttons for attention and test our boundaries. They'll stop when they are a bit older. About 20 years older.

Haha YW that is so cute that he gives you a kiss or pat on the arm before being naughty! F is definitely one who was plotting all the trouble he could get into before he could crawl. His first crawl ever was straight across the room to the fire place and some little african wooden carvings that were on there which he promptly battered against the fire place!

Exactly - some folks have their hearts and problems on their sleeves and rant a lot like me! Others hide their problems even from themselves. As with most mortgage payers we're only a few months away from being out on our arses if DH lost his job.

I'm having a housework and washing day. Sorting out the bears winter wardrobe and bah humbug but the hand me downs we've got from our sisters are all summer stuff so I think I'll need to get an eBay bundle. Gift horse mouth !

Ooh, forgot to say - went to see the vicar this morning to get R's paperwork sorted for his christening on sunday. Vicar got the first proper wave!

Ooh I went through LO's clothes the other day. Took all the unsellable stuff to the Red Cross which was my good deed for the year. Kept a few brand new pieces back to ebay - ebay is shite here, not worth the petrol it uses to drive to the post office (30km round trip) It was all second hand anyway.

It's so strange putting her in clothes it feels like DD1 was wearing just a few months ago. The last 12 months have gone so fast. I loved getting out the winter clothes though, the little snow suits and fluffy boots. Bye bye summer, fuck right off and close the door on your way out please. Hello cosy autumn and winter, don't be as harsh on us as last year please. :o

Also last week I spent ages ironing name labels into their clothes. I got bollocked by nursery for not having done it. Not sure my iron had ever touched anything that isn't work shirts. That and the plum stoning and freezing yesterday made me feel a bit domestic goddessish. Then I looked at the mess the house is in and got a grip.

I luffs this quiche
I love the way our quiche problems are quickly dealt with and we move on
I am generally an up beat person
But I dont mind reading other peoples moans and groans , it doesnt bring me down
So keep posting whatever you ve got to post :)

Arghhh so LO has 25 scoops of formula a day. We are away 10 days and an average carton has 200 scoops ish. So I need to take two cartons right even though we will only maybe get through a bit of it.

Wish I could have breastfed :(

I love this quiche too.

Yay for proper waves PP

I bet LO settled quickly ginger

We are in naughty boy pat on the arm and smile territory all the time YW. He learns at least 10 new tricks a day!!

Oh and anyone searching for winter stuff next are doing some good basics like 4 long sleeved tshirts for £9 and two pairs of trackies for £9 and if you get one of the leaflets in store you get £10 off your first online order so I just got 4 tees and 2 trousers for £8. Great as he's in 12-18 and the prices of the clothes have gone up.

Oh and extra thick hair bands have saved me a fortune in cupboard locks especially in our ramshackle cottage where normal ones don't fit!!