Dec 11: Not tonight dear, I've got a haddock.

[PerilousStiletto]

I liked this one. :)

Aethel have a fab time in Canada.

Oi I hope Diddykicks was fun this morning.

Seven - The bride & groom had several photos taken in the hotel as they have some lovely areas.

We had a swim in the spa yesterday afternoon ate a lovely dinner which was compliments of the hotel - Scallops & Curried Lentils to start & Blade of Beef with Parsley Mash, mushrooms and crispy bacon for main. We only paid for our room & drinks whilst we were there and got breakfast free too

Home now to enjoy a few hours peace without the girls before chaos resumes again. We are off to Paulton's Park tomorrow which should be fun.

Hope your all having a fab weekend. Whilst I've been at the hotel I've had 2 more cake orders come in

Hope y'all are having a good weekend. I painted coat no. 2 of sitting room ceiling while Mr. Mopsy made gumbo (yumyumyumyum). It is exhausting using that roller on a pole. Thought I'd never finish. Only one coat more, then we can do walls. I seriously hate DIY! Drinking a glass of red wine while minim naps. Very irresponsible I'm sure but I earned it!

((figgy)) I'm so sorry you are feeling that way and I hope the takeaway and wine helped get the conversation started with DH. You may want to skip the last para of this post, I've kept it all down the bottom in case you want to avoid.

aethel have a wonderful time! I wish I was a travel guru with loads of great tips, but I think just because I travel so much I have all the timings down to a fine art and I know where everything is in the terminals - I'm sure oi can relate

mopsy sounds like you are on a roll with the DIY arf arf Like you and gary I also love GBBO - I think all competitive shows should make the judges do the same challenges, it keeps them honest.

queen that meal sounds delish and awesome news on the cake orders!

oi is diddykicks a sports thing for kids? I can't imagine DS doing anything at all organised or following instructions so am always fascinated to hear about these kinds of things. Though it sounds like your DS is well on his way to footballing glory northern

Thanks for all your good wishes. I've become an invalid overnight since the whole ripping/spraining of the bump on Thursday. I can barely walk and cannot lift anything, let alone a 13.5kg DS who turns into a red-faced ball of screaming fury when I can't pick him up or even lift him up onto my knee. We went to the beach today (wonderful!) and just walking from the car to where DH and MIL set me up in a folding chair felt like a marathon.

Since then I've been getting incredible episodes of Braxton Hicks, terrible backache, etc. to the extent that it's making me nauseous and sick, even with co-drydamol. Every kick the baby makes seems to be straight into the back of my pubic bone and feels like my whole pelvis is breaking apart. I cannot another 7 weeks of this I can't even start on the effect this has had on DH - I mentioned before he is still carrying a lot of anxiety from DS's birth and my subsequent illness, and this recent episode has not helped. He is fabulous to me and everyone around him as you predicted northern, but as the problems mount this is increasingly this is at the expense of his own well-being He needs more support starting when we get home on Wednesday from MIL's. I love him so very dearly that it kills me to cause him so much distress and anxiety.

Xiao - sorry to hear that things are so rough. It sounds pretty awful. Hope your DH finds that strength to make him realise that to look after you and DS the best he can, he has to look after himself too. Hope your pains become easier.
Figgy, get jiggy! stuff whatever is "right" or "for the best". But then, good things come to those who wait. You'll get your baby soon enough. Whether its in 9 months or 19 months. Stay positive.
My baby spontaneously counted to three all by himself this morning! Standing his skittle/soldiers up. V v proud.
And now v v sad as GP have just taken him away to let me get packed and ready for my trip. 4 nights away this time. Oh well. Onwards!

Sorry to hear that xiao. You poor things. Sounds like a nightmare.

Figgy, hope you can work out a baby plan. I'm dying to get on with baby two and so is Mr. Mopsy but with this new job starting I can't really :( We can't really have it all. It is a big fat myth.

Xiao much sympathies hope you feeling better that sounds horrible!!

Dh basically has told me he feels like shit and a failure we r going to be broke in months, his health issues are permanent and of course if he does have lupus he has to have the kind that'll kill him in the next 10 years. Now none of this is necessarily true but depression is common in lupus sufferers and having read this is the case he seems to have embraced it with gusto and is now even more miserable and negative than ever Im not a very patient person I don't think I'm made out for being in a relationship with someone who is depressed and doesn't have a positive thing to say about anything. Needless to say the subject of dc2 remains all encompassing to me and an annoyance to him. Maybe it's the MC in may, maybe it's the fact that AF arrived today but am not feeling very rational about it all ATM. Mopsy u r so right we can't just have it all dh and I have had almost 10 years of living together during which they have been wonderfully stress free and happy this year has been an epic pile of poo and is markedly worse by all the greatness that's come before it.

On positive note yay Ali DS did it over the weekend too and he's finally playing with his puzzles rather than just throwing them everywhere that was our weekend achievement

figgy I hadn't heard of lupus before, sounds awful, when will DH find out whether he has it or not? I guess it depends on the test outcome but do you think he's likely to budge at all on the baby issue? I guess when it comes down to it it's up to you to decide how important another baby is to you, and what you'd be prepared to sacrifice.

xiao that sounds awful, I agree DH needs to realise he needs to look after himself so he can look after you. In the meantime can you afford extra help with cleaning, ironing etc so there's less for you to worry about?

queen sounds like you're doing great with the cake orders coming in!

I'm pretty certain I've had another early miscarriage (I'm really sorry oi and figgy). AF arrived 4 days late, abnormally heavy and I've now been bleeding for 6 days. I don't know how I feel tbh, we didn't want another baby and certainly weren't trying, but I would never have had an abortion, I don't judge others and no religious reasons but its just not for me. Now of course I'm probably just hormonally dwelling on what could have been, whilst DH now wants to get a vasectomy (we'd already agreed for him to have one) done as soon as possible. I'm being daft, I know DH doesn't want another baby, and neither did I, there are too many reasons not to have another, but I'm 27, things could be a lot different in 10 years and I'd still be young enough to have another. Ho hum.

Anyway, my friend is coming round soon, the one who's certain he DH was cheating, they're still separated. I guess my problems aren't that bad.

Ah figgy, that does sound crappy. When will he find out about the lupus? Negativity is awful. My DH has really put in an effort to be positive. It's going quite well.
Maybe your DH could do with some counselling?
Seven - sorry about the potential mc. Maybe just wait a bit longer before deciding about the vasectomy!

sneaky login from abroad as DS is napping and DDs off with the GPs to a local toyshop! Journey went pretty well though my body clock is a froot loop (local crazy cereal)....

Oh no xiao, really sorry to hear things are so awful. Many hugs from a distance - when I am back I can offer sympathy in person and supplies/chat if that would help?

sympathy too to you seven, potential MCs are no fun especially when they come with uncertainty/feelings about the bigger picture. Have you guys thought about a reversible combo like Mirena-coil-plus-condoms or an implant? if you do go for permanent but don't want DH to have a vasectomy, there is a new less invasive version of female sterilisation called Essure (kinda puts little corks in your tubes! it's non reversible but can be done as a day thing) It's non NHS but google it for an idea...

And figgy, that's rough with DH and the uncertainty again. I think we need someone to invent that star trek zapper thingy that just puts out a scanning beam and then says EXACTLY what's going on. If your GP ends up being unable to sort out what the cause of his issues are, has he had a rheumatology appointment? If they aren't sure either then the next step is to ask for an appointment with a specialist Lupus clinic (there is an excellent one at St Thomas's in London, can't remember where you guys are though). They are expert at the is-it-or-isn't-it type cases, do be aware that diagnosis of lupus (also called SLE) is really not black and white, there's a whole spectrum of variants... really hope you guys get both some clarity and improved control of his symptoms very soon xx

my, the house is quiet!

oh and oi, did I see sneaked in there a little message that things are going OK with DH at the moment? have some ! good luck with the trip....

Thanks aethel and oiperil. He's happy to have the vasectomy, he said he thinks its fair after years of me being on the pill and going through pregnancy and childbirth 3 times. Just depends on what I want I suppose.

We have a Tassimo, I love it.

I can really understand your reluctance seven; I think if it were you going for a non-reversible form of contraception your Doc wouldn't recommend it as you're so young. If you don't mind being on the contraception and/or are happy to try some of the longer-lasting stuff, I'd be tempted to stick with that. Anecdotally I've noticed loads of people who say 'enough'! and then when the youngest starts schools suddenly want more babies.

Canada, you lucky thing! Everyone I know who's been wants to emigrate they love it so much.

((hugs)) to figgy and xiao, sheeesh
Hopefully with a diagnosis your DH can be signposted to some counselling figgy, it sounds like he really needs it, that and/or A-Ds. It sounds like you're totally decided on no.2, so perhaps wait until DH has got a diagnosis and treatment and then start in earnest? And remind him how he felt when you did find out you were pregnant....

I think you need to call in every favour from every friend Xiao, as it sounds like you're going to be in bed for a while...sounds agonising and miserable. I would get yourself and DH to the Doctor's pronto; I hope your DH can speak to work too, to ensure they understand (although I guess he's not teaching much giving the holidays). The last thing that anyone wants is your poor DH running himself into the ground mentally or physically.
Is there any CBT, etc, that he can access quickly- through work or union, or just paying? Or would he not consider it? And you need to stop guilty for 'making' him feel bad too....

Tried calling the estate agents for the one we're purchasing again, promised an update, again, not heard anything, again...and the survey's being done on ours tomorrow.
Arse...but minor compared to what some of you are going through.

Snotty teething clingy grump monster here who decided 5.15 was enough sleep today..... He's gonna be savage by 8am. Dh in a mood as DS won't settle with him but I've been home with him for 4 days so im not surprised.

Thanks for the words yesterday ladies it's hard as can't talk to anyone in real life ATM as he doesn't want people to know about lupus until full diagnosis. I'm still hoping its not that

We're glad to be of (any tiny amount of) help figgy.

In a grump here, am waiting to let the surveyor in (DP pointed out to me 'why couldn't they get the key from the EA', and now I think of it I've no idea why, the surveyor just booked it with me and I didn't think) and can't work. Oh yes, I brought my lap top home to do some work whilst I waited, but in a true moment I left my sodding swipe card at work which means my laptop can't be used.
So am doing housework instead and fretting about the amount of work I could be doing, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Oh figgy I'm so sorry, the desire for another baby can just be so painful. I hope your DH can get some support, if it is lupus then hopefully he can be put in touch with some organisations that can help.

Hope all is well with the housemove northern and the survey goes OK.

Xiao try and remember that you aren't responsible for your DH's feelings, and I third (or fourth) the idea of him seeing someone to tlak through his fears/anxiety about the birth. Sorry you are having such a rough time of it, I hope the next few weeks fly by and you're not in too much pain.

Having seen your pictures I'm about your work trip peril (though probably not about the actual work!) Glad things are a bit better between you and DH.

Seven I'd probably look at a longer term contraceptive (mirena, implant, injection?) rather than the Big V just because it is so permanent and I've got a couple of online friends who have had their husbands go through it, then gone for a reversal later on, and the success rates for a reversal aren't all that great. It's something DH and I have spoken about and he's keen but I'm just not, so lots of sympathies.

We had inlaws and BIL, SIL and their 8 month old DD visiting at the weekend. DS was so good with his cousin, sitting with her nicely and giving her toys, stroking her head and giving kisses and cuddles. Got a bit over excited a couple of times and accidentally hit her with a box, but generally very gentle and lovely. Made me really wistful of the idea of him with a sibling. DH days no, and I know his reasons why are all very sensible, I'm just sad and broody. I guess at the end of the days his feelings are as valid as mine, I'm just not sure what we can do about it really. This week my lovely big sis is visiting with all five of her brood. My oldest nephew is 14! 14!!! I swear he was just a baby a couple of years ago, where is the time going?! Her youngest is a year older than DS and she's so excited to be visiting him, and is bringing her lamby and her ponies and dinosaur to show him. It'll be mad, but good fun. I've got a truck load of work to plough through this week, and only doing two and half days, so I should get on!

Oi glad to see things are improving between you & DH. Hope your trip isn't to bad...although by looking at the pics on FB, I wouldn't complain lol.

Seven...I thoroughly recommend a copper coil...I had one in between the girls and it's brilliant. You can always have it removed if you both want another DC. No funny side effects like I had with hormonal contraception.

If we decide we don't want anymore children...I'm going into be sterilised/have a total Hysterectomy...I know I can have one as already asked...my medical conditions help me a lot in that respect as I suffer extremely bad back ache when AF visits and cramps and heavy bleeding.

Figgy..Hopefully your DH gets the support he needs and you also get support too. I understand your frustration at wanting another DC but hopefully once he has a diagnosis & support in place the rest will follow along.

Northern..hope your enjoying your housework :) my house was hovered, polished, cleaned the kitchen bin & changed the sheets on our bed and washing in machine by 7:30am and cupcakes made by 9am.

Waiting for a friend to pop round for a cuppa and then will nip to shop and get the bits for posting these cuppys tomorrow.

"Enjoy"? Que? What is this 'enjoy' word, in relation to housework ? Must have me confused with someone else....

I had the day booked off on Thursday- we've got DS's big hearing test at the hospital in the morning, to see if there are problems following all the exploding ear stuff last winter, so thought I'd just have it all off (as it were!). Will probably just have to work in the afternoon now I've lost this morning, sigh.

Sounds like you're having a lovely family time hop, on both sides- must be lovely to have a big clan like that where you all get on.

What is there not to enjoy about a nice clean household?

Watching Great British Bake Off in peace

We are still mid DIY mess, dirt, dust, general chaos. UGH. But I did just take down half the masking tape and clean half the floor prior to painting skirting so nearly there. A couple of walls need another coat so leaving that half of the room. To clean only 1/3 of the floor space in our small sitting room, I used FOUR buckets of hot soapy water. Filthy much.

Figgy, hope your husband gets diagnosis soon and hope you can reconcile the baby thing.

Xiao hope you have lots of support. Sounds awful for all of you :(

Northern hope work calms down. Sounds mental. I'm with you on housework. Ugh. I like the end result. Just don't like getting there.

There's a jacuzzi outside my room, on my patio. I turn it off because its noisy. But after 20 mins its noisy again and bubbling away. It's 23:05, but its almost as if its saying, "come on, you haven't even tried me out yet".
This is the most beautiful hotel room I have ever stayed in. The weather is glorious! What a waste! Full days of meetings, straight thru to evening entertainment. No one to share the room with. Such a shame!!

Sorry I'm a bit absent. I deal badly with the summer.

Sadly everyone lives so far away that we don't get to see them as often as I would like.

Nightime last night was not fun. Put DS down, all fine, goes to sleep, wakes up half an hour later and is hysterical. Will not be parted from me. Ended up taking him into the spare bed and going to bed myself at half 8. Tried to read for a while but he kept sleepily pointing at the book and saying 'No book! Back. Night night mummy!' He slept horizontally across the bed and kept headbutting me. Blurgh. Woke up at ten to six and I unceremoniously dumped him in bed with DH. He promptly rolled out of the bed at great speed (managed to land on his feet like some kind of Russian gymnast).

Anywho, big sis arriving tomorrow. Must do shopping tonight, think she might need a glass of wine (or 3) after bringing all five kids on the train, on her own. It's a 5 hour journey!

Peril you'll have to get in the hot tub at least once!

Octo sorry you're having a rough time of it this summer.

Queen if you love it so much, could you come and clean my house?!

Woops this morning DS came out of his bed and straight into a massive inconsolable melt down which lasted what felt like forever....he wouldnt drink his milk and i thought he was refusing his new cup after having been fine all week it wasnt until we were making his breakfast and noticed his milk was off.......bad mummy!!! Am surprised he knew as he never put it near enough him to smell it but he did somehow.

Definitely getting some canines coming through his nose is streaming and he loving his calpol.

He also has decided to now walk everywhere with his teddy in 1 hand and his Rex soft toy (dinosaur from toy story) in his other it is so funny as everytime he wants to pick something up you see him processing the need to put down one teddy...........but which one?? He usually scoops up whatever he wants in his arms and walks around with it all clamped to his chest squashed between his teddies. I know it is habit forming and i should discourage it but he is so cute.

Very cute figgy. Minimopsy drags her 'baby' around everywhere. It is a soft bodied doll. She refuses to keep its clothes on and it is filthy. I just sponged it this morning (after many years when I wouldn't let her take it to nursery) and it is drying on the line but it doesn't look.properly clean. It says only to wash the surface as I think it's filled with polystyrene beads or similar but I might try it in a hand wash cycle as parts of it are black! I suppose it will make her immune system nice and hardy...