July 2013 - Part 1. Remember your pelvic floor exercises!

[TotallyEggFlipped]

Time to start the post-natal thread.

And start those PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES!

I would try and stay clear of pills too shelley you just get addicted to them, they dont really solve anything. You can get NHS counselling- I have had counselling before and used CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) which has been proven to really help depression and anxiety. There are online free courses which may help in the mean time (if you feel too busy etc to go to a councillor now)

Oh quin thats rubbish, poor thing hope you find a cure soon...I found stopping feeding mid way (much to DD's annoyance) to wind helped too. Just an idea.. maybe a dummy would stop as much air getting swallowed? (in comparison to a fist?)

I keep writing one handed posts on my phone but they get deleted... Gah.

Clenching is it you with the swollen armpit gland? (Can't scroll back, sorry) I have one too. Have massaged it to no avail and went to see the gp who has referred me on to the breast service. Bit scary because I've never had to think about anything like that before. I guess you can't be too careful. I am seeing them on Monday so will let you know what they say .

Shelley you are not a bad mum. Pnd is totally normal. I had it with DS1 - I honestly used to consider suicide every day and thought he'd be better off without me. I can't imagine feeling like that now so it did pass... Eventually. I was very beaten up by his birth and quite traumatised which didn't help. I never talked to anyone about it ( no one to talk to, I lived overseas) and was never diagnosed. It just went on its own and it's only now I realise how bad I felt. Its crap but you will feel like yourself ahain soon, with treatment or without. Have a unmumsnetty hug x

Not had time to catch up properly but thank you granny for the link re upper lip tie, very useful to me!!

Had a trip out to thinking's neck of the woods today. Dropped dh off at a friend's to go to a stag do, then went for ice cream. Tablet ice cream and bramble ice cream. Wandered along the front a bit in the sun. Wondered if dh is right, and we should move there.

Those ice creams sound lovely Abzs. I miss ice cream. Thank goodness its cooled down about so I'm not craving it too badly.

Spoke with a sleep and behaviour consultant today - she thinks that j has silent reflux from what I described too. Now to persuade the go for a referral to a gastroenterologist!

Go should be GP!

Shocking, yes - 'tis me with the armpit woes. Hope that yours is okay and that it's just a post-pregnancy/BF thing. Do let us know how Monday is for you - perhaps I should see my GP sooner if it doesn't go. I'm so terrible at going to the docs!

Totally, it may well be the kitchen sink soon, although JP has taken a liking to a dunking under the shower with his daddy!

Dinky, good luck with your GP. Sounds like you are having an utterly exhausting time with the constant feeding so I really hope you succeed in trying to get help. Here's hoping for a better night for you.

Well, I got too cocky and ate spicy food. why, why, why!? tears all day..

I can only get her to sleep in the day if she's in a pram now, very annoying..well, at least I'll lose that weight.

shocking- PND sounds awful, you're amazing for getting through it and v.brave to have another. I think mumsnet has really helped me stay on track, getting the bad thoughts out there for other mums to rationalise them for me! I think being a mum can be terribly lonely.

Evening all. Just back from a work-related meeting on the other side of London. B behaved impeccably, just sat on my lap coo-ing and smiling. I'm knackered though, and still lots to do this evening before our leaving for holiday at 7.45am...

fx for good nights for you all

Ladies - try the cabbage leaves on the armpit bumps. If milk related, they should go down. Clenching - the constant feeding I can just about live with - its the knowledge he is definitely in discomfort that makes it hard to take.

Shocking (and others) - thanks for being so frank about your experiences with depression. A surprisingly high percentage of people will suffer depression at some point in their life but there still seems to be a bit of a taboo about it. Being open and frank about experiences is the best way to break that taboo so thank you.

Nexus - wow dd must be ultra sensitive to spices. Hope she calms down soon.

abzs it's great here, you should! Don't know how you missed the heavy rain though!

shelley keep talking, posting, whatever helps. Re antidepressants, think of it in terms of your brain is low in 'happy' chemicals, a bit like someone with hypothyroidism is low in thyroid hormones. Medication can top up the levels of what is missing, until you can make enough yourself. Most modern ones are not addictive and your GP would only want you on them for about 6 months ( but you would hopefully feel better in a few weeks)
It might help you enjoy these first precious months with your baby, so try to keep an open mind about it. Hopefully you won't need anything other than time though

Abz you should move so you can eat tablet ice cream with thinking.
Dinky- big pants! Silent reflux is a bit of a bummer. I know what you mean about the pain thing, hard to bare, but, made me fight like a tiger for dd when i realisedwhatwas going on. We had a struggle to get the right trt for her but things have moved on a bit. Generally when you get the meds right the symptoms go. We had to to a private consultant with dd as the emergancy referral to paed gastro was a 1 month wait and she was screaming 24 hrs a day. Pm me if you want his details
Shelley, im sorry you're feeling so bad. I have been struggling too, i am hoping is just because i have had to stop feeding humphrey because of severe milk intol and my hormones are going crazy plus hate having to stop.
The sun is shining and my mum has dd and ds1 til tomorrow morning and dh is bringing me breakfast in bed so feeling more cheeful

shelley, lots of great advice already but adding more hugs, you're doing a great job, keep talking on here if you find it helps.

clenching I'm with you on the night sweats, think they're getting a bit better, 4weeks now, but definitely still there. Armpit swelling annoyingly common and painful, same advice as for engorgement usually helps as just swollen breast tissue but keep an eye out for the old mastitis.

cheek, London trip went well thanks, exhausting but only one minor meltdown in car after train on way home - she was silent the whole bit of the journey in a packed commuter train which I was very grateful for. Fortunately the lancs bit is my roots, currently more an Oxfordshire lass so only 45 mins on train to London.

First night away today staying with the inlaws, quite looking forward to a change of scenery for a couple of days even if the activities are the same...

Thanks Princess llama - have had J added to my private health insurance through work so will go down the private route if need be. Will see how I get on with gp on Friday.

Lanclass - glad your trip went well. Good luck at the in laws.

Busy day here - took boys to see Dinosaur Zoo at Regents Park open air theatre this morning (true to form J slept through the whole thing) which was excellent (anyone with a dino obsessed child should check it out!) And then had uni flatmates and partners over this afternoon (so 9 people including kids) for late lunch/reunion as one of them was back in the UK from new Zealand for the first time in 5 years - was meant to be a picnic in the park but the British weather put an end to that idea! We're off to Lollibop tomorrow so rather hoping the rain passes tonight.

Princess - also hugs to you. As you said, stopping bf makes your hormones go crazy so its no wonder you're feeling blue - but hopefully will all pass over soon and logically you know you made the decision to atop for the right reasons for your family. Hope you had lots of quality time with dh and h and enjoyed your breakfast in bed x

I am completely exhausted after a lovely day. We went to a lovely restaurant with DH's brother and his wife for a family lunch. Junior Panda slept the whole way through so I got to eat a meal with both knife and fork, not holding or breastfeeding the boy for the first time in ages. Plus, the food was to die for and I can report little difficulty in demolishing a dessert entitled 'Chocolate Nemesis' - turns all that wide-a-bake training was worth it .

Other discovery of the day: Boots breast pads really are shit, aren't they?

Right - off to sleep. Bliss even if it is short-lived .

That sounds amazing panda the very thought of chocolate makes my milk come in :s haha.

DH is a musician and has got a gig in Russia so I'm staying at my parent's. LO was so excited about sleeping in a new place it took a while to settle but we got there in the end.

Also, a question for you guys AIBU- I give a couple of ff a day and I had to pop out quick and my mum was looking after baby, when I came back (20mins later) I saw that my brothers MENTAL gf was feeding baby. Now AIBU but I really don't want 'just anyone' to feed dd? I think feeding is an important bonding time and should only be kept for the 'lucky few'. I have got dd feeding so well on me and the bottle that I'm also worried this lack of consideration for who feeds her will give nipple confusion (basically what are your thoughts on this, I'm pretty pissed off that someone else who I haven't 'authorised' to feed her was feeding her so with my mum and brothers gf)

This woman keeps trying to overtake dd when I'm round (both brothers live with parents..STILL). She has got two kids but she's Lowry them home with her mum in Thailand! She has TERRIBLE English even though she's lived her for three years and I really don't want dd language affected (too harsh?) she's also constantly mentally bullying my brother.

I needed to get that out of my system- it had been eating me up all night!

Sorry I've been absent! I'm managing to read but fitting in posting too and to be beyond me and I can only remember a few personals...

shelley you've done well to manage to talk about the depression here and in rl. It may pass by itself but if it doesn't seem to be lifting keep an open mind about medications, they may really help, they're not addictive although it's s common misunderstanding. I'd also really advise you to try the counselling, depending on the type it might be just a place to vent or it might be based on cbt which helps you identify the negative thoughts that the depression causes and then start to change them. I hope things improve for you soon and it sounds like you're doing really well considering the birth etc (sorry for the essay, pet topic!)

nexus I would also be annoyed about someone feeding F without permission, I think it is an important time for bonding, particularly if you're mixed feeding, as you said. I've found this to be an unexpected benefit of breastfeeding in that I can take her back at any time if I want to by suggesting she's hungry! I wouldn't worry about the accent, I understand that heating a wider variety of voices or accents and languages can be beneficial. I can see why is getting to you though if it feels like she's trying to take over.

dinky I hope you get the reflux sorted soon, it's horrible when they seem to be in pain. And you really deserve a bit more sleep!

We had some friends to visit yesterday which was lovely, think F has made them broody though and had a really nice pub lunch. I also went to a baby group at the children's centre this week and met load of new people who were all chatty and seem nice so think I'll be going there regularly for some adult conversation. This is particularly good since the nct cancelled my postnatal course, which is a bit annoying, though the refund has paid for baby swimming starting in a few weeks.

F is five weeks today and we're going to try her with a bottle of expressed milk for the first time. Is anyone else trying this, and how have you got on with it?

Worst night so far last night. N woke at least hourly and we couldn't settle her at all. I think it was wind. Eventually DH put her to sleep on her belly this morning & she's had a good long sleep.
This morning DD1 has a temperature & is miserable. She's asleep curled up on my lap now. Going to have to try & move her if N wakes for a feed though...,

Persuasion - DH gave N a bottle of expressed milk yesterday. It was only enough for half a feed, but she guzzled it no problems. (DD1 was a disaster with a bottle and responded as if we were trying to torture her.) So now I'm optimistic that one day DH & I might be able to go out for the nice dinner we had planned before N arrived.

Bollocks. N has a temp too.

Just checking in, haven't kept on top of the thread very well as have had a busy week out and about. I feel like we achieve more when going out as the "deadline" of when we've arranged to meet people forces us to get moving, but it does mean we don't get much done at home. Still A slept through the football with DH yesterday which allowed me to crack on with my paperwork-sorting "project", and switch/fix our gas and electricity with big saving vs our latest bill.

A is 6 weeks tomorrow and I started expressing at 4 weeks. I'd like her to have a bottle a day with DH but we're probably only achieving every other day so far. When she's properly hungry she does well but other times she plays up a bit and my lovely expressed milk goes everywhere except her mouth. Seeing my parents, sister and BIL next weekend and may see if one of them can do a feed - as mentioned up thread will facilitate babysitting.

The nights have really settled down this past week, and she's getting more efficient at them. Afternoons/evenings have been feeding frenzies most days which can get a bit tiring for me. We have however started getting proper smiles the last few days which makes it all worthwhile.

Evening all. Been out at Lollibop all day which has resulted in 3 knackered little boys (though The youngest is refusing to sleep currently - busy pooing by the sounds of it after 2 poonamis while out today- his two big bros are out for the count!) and 2 exhausted parents too!! Ds1 and 2 loved it and j was actually awake for large parts of it too.

Totally - hope N and Dd1 are feeling better now and you have a much better night. We are off on holiday on Friday and am toying with the idea of taking expressing kit and bottle to see if j will accept it - ds1 and 2 were bottle refuseniks. I was the same as you MrsMillions - hated seeing my hard expressed milk go to waste!

Nexus - I don't think language/accent makes any difference at this age - it will when they are older and learning to talk but only if its the primary caretaker. I would be unhappy about someone I personally didn't like feeding my child too - does your mum know how you feel about this? If not, just say to avoid confusion should be you, gran or oh feeding by bottle only.

Panda - hope you got a good sleep. V envious of that choc pudding!

We've been a quieter thread this weekend folks!

Dinky nice you had such a lovely day with your boys. Totally sorry to hear your girls are unwell. Hope their temperatures have passed.

Pleased to say we've had a lovely weekend. L went to her first birthday party yesterday (sort of!) and we had a lovely afternoon tea. Roast today (first in a while - late pregnancy and a new born not conducive to culinary effort here!) and a chance to get all the baby boy stuff out and sorted given that our future is now very pink. I'm pleased to have got L's nursery sorted and looks less like a junk room with a cot in it! Now got lots of ebaying to do!

I've decided I'm now fit enough to drive and all ok with insurance etc. Midwife signing us off on Wednesday too at 28 days. Gone so fast! Oh and DS finishes nursery this week too.

Thankfully, for now, I'm feeling much brighter and in control. Breast milk slowly dwindled so now solely on formula. I've had stern words with myself to make myself ok with that.

Sounds like a lovely weekend Mrsd! Don't beat yourself up about moving to formula full time - it is what it is and you did mixed feeding for a while as you wanted to, which is the important thing.

totally I hope both dds are better soon. I guess the temp explains the difficult night. Last night.

Mrsd don't beat yourself up about it. You did well to manage some mixed feeding and now you're doing what's best for the two of you.

Thanks for the comments on expressing. We gave her a bottle in the afternoon of defrosted milk I had expressed previously. She took it really well although she was quite inefficient at first. We follows it with a breastfed which she also managed. I found it really is giving a bottle, it's so tempting to give one more often because it's so easy, and breastfeeding is still hard work for us because of my fast let down. I'm going to keep it to one or twice a week just to keep her open to the idea of a bottle if I can.