November 2012 - Summertime, and the babies are sleeping (mostly with a few notable exceptions)

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1800961-November-2012-Is-is-too-early-for-birthday-plans

When I think I might have it, he may as well stick 2 fingers up at me by deciding that no, in fact, I do not have it at all.

I gave up because the nap was so fitful and horrible that he is now awake and screeching. I give the fuck up.

Off for Calpol. For me.

Have started looking at childcare options for when I go back to freelance two days a week.

My sister had offered but she's stressed enough with her own brood - and childcare with relatives has the worst outcomes for babies apparently (not sure why on earth that would be - unless they are more likely to spoil them or go against parent's wishes because 'they know best'? has anyone got any clues?) so am looking at nurseries. There's one 2 streets away which consistently gets great inspection reports and has a good reputation locally. So we're off to see it this afternoon - which feels far too soon to say he'd only start in late October / November. I did like the fact that they weren't afraid to suggest we pop right over to have a look and a play

Have also found a Montessori forest nursery for the over threes which he is soooooo going to go to a day or so a week when he gets that big. I'd go - it looks amazing! Its called The Secret Garden and is near Cupar so a bit of a drive but I will be driving by then. I'm going to take lessons on my freelance days as I just can't fit them in whilst a SAHM.

You're quite right Pass, DS1 can get worked up about some things that seem to be quite trivial and he has recently taken against some of his pyjamas. I think it's a characteristic of ASD.

Kyz DH has prescribed extra fruit rations for DS1 as he has had bowel trouble before.

I have been out opening bank accounts for the kids today, they have a scary amount of money put away. We saved for five years for the first two and my mum has been putting what she would have paid in NI contributions since she reached retirement age. It has really racked up as we've managed to avoid touching it in the main so the three of them all now have investment portfolios! I wish my finances were in as good shape.

O has a crazy amount in her portfolio. Her inheritance. It's on name but she can't do anything with it without my consent, thanks fuck for that- sometimes you gotta love hungarian laws. My cousin got access to his saving account on his 18th and had nothing left over by the time he was 20. He can't even show anything off. I'm not even planning to tell her what she has till she is 21.

Lily wait until 25. I inherited at 21 and I'd frittered it on fecktard relationships 'because I love him' by 25. Technically your brain is still counted as pubescent until 25 as that's when your hormones and impulse control mature. At 25 I knew myself so much better than at 21 and I knew the value of money much better. And meh everyone is poor at 21 so its no hardship to wait a few more years.

I will see. She might be as sensible as her dad and I were at that age. We both had savings already for properties by working while at uni. I will certainly not save or pay for her uni, she can work hard for that.

Very true I'm sensible now but I was getting over a bereavement - trying to find the unconditional love I missed in bad relationships.

Hallo.

Trying to rock P at a dainty 15 1/2 Ib was doing my back in - don't know how you guys manage det and pikz*. I moved an armchair into her room to sit in. I get her into her bag with Ewan playing and the soft lights on. We then sit in the chair while I read to her. If she is still awake I have been stroking her face until she falls asleep. faster, more pleasant and more effective than rocking at the moment.

I am 21

I am pig sick of DD1 deliberately waking up LO from her naps. It is just so unfunny I could cry.

Every single fucking day. When she naps well, she sleeps through at night. When she doesn't sleep enough during the day she has bad nights.

pr that sounds utterly, utterly infuriating. How many days until crèche?

My granny looked after us. Sister from pre-school and me during the hols and after school on Fridays. She was a lovely, kind old woman but she was old. She liked to sit and watch the snooker on her black and white telly. She got annoyed with me reading because it was anti-social and got suspicious if you took yourself off to play. On the rare occasions that we stayed over on school nights granny would try to keep us off the school because she liked our company and was unimpressed by education.

My sister was overfed and encouraged to keep secrets from my mum by our Aunty.

I suspect many issues with family based child care come down to family dynamic. I love my mum but I wouldn't want her caring for p. she doesn't have the energy or the personality to provide the stuff I want for p if I'm not there.

Round where I live almost all child care is family provided and social demographic will have an impact on the future chances of those children in many cases.

Fucking unhelpful HV!!!

He's 11kg so 97th percentile which I didn't get too much shit for however the convo went like this:

Me: he's ace except he won't nap I the day

HV: well if he sleeps at night you any force him to nap

Me: but he surely can't stay up for 12 hours every day straight. He gets hideous.

HV: maybe he'll nap when he's moving

Me: he never stops moving, he crawls, climbs, pulls himself up and wriggles all day

HV: oh well maybe he will sleep when he walks

Me: excellent thanks for all your help

Fucktards

4 weeks and 4days

32 days

762 hours

No idea yw I'd rather leave e with dp's mum or my mum if she hadn't got elyza to sort as my first options. The nursery for when he's bigger sounds ace!

stunt hope that sorts him out!

I haven't a bank account for e nor any money for one yet :( well, he has about £150 that was gifts from people when he was born but its hardly going to get him into uni is it :( no matter, I'll try and stick some away for him as soon as I can :)

pr that would drive me nuts too :( not long now, not long!

Very unhelpful pikz, surely she could've come up with something better!

Lunch didn't go too badly, I got screamed at though. Where has my lovely placid baby gone? All of a sudden these past few days he can easily go from happy to real tears and screaming in seconds. I don't understand. No temperature or anything. Ugh :(

FORFUCKSAKEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

After the hideous 'nap' this morning, we had another shitty short nap this afternoon. Granted this one was a fall asleep in car seat job the second we came out of baby group. Normally he wakes up the second the car stops. I drove round for 20 minutes. Went to doctors to pick his px up, figured he would probably wake up but would fall back to sleep if I drove around a bit more.

No, he stayed asleep - this is nothing short of a miracle. So I figured we would chance coming home. Of course he fucking woke the second I took him out the car.

So 30 minutes in total, and point blank refuses to go back asleep.

He is currently happy enough, but it won't last. And that is it til bedtime now. And DP in work til 7, as he has been the past 3 days.

And I still need a fucking poo.

And just now while I was looking after LO DD1 slipped outside and picked some more dandelion clocks and blew them right round the house. I only just fucking hoovered.

I was so looking forward to being a SAHM. I imagined so much fun, and games, and laughter. And it used to be like that, despite all the illnesses. And it's just become a real chore every single day to do anything more than ensure they are clean and fed. And I hate myself for hating it so much. It's since the heatwave started that it has become really intolerable. By about 4pm every day I am a nervous wreck. Wishing away the hours and the days til I don't have to look after my own children anymore.

You know since LO was born I have had no more than two hours away from them, and that happened once.

She's gone from blowing dandelion clocks around to using up all the baby wipes on her sodding doll. Does she want to do a jigsaw with mummy? Read a book? Play with lego? Does she fuck. She'll want to do that kind of thing when I am feeding LO, or cooking dinner.

Oh well, at least she hasn't hit or scratched LO in the last hour.

My mum looks after L 2.5 days per week. She sends me lengthy emails purporting to be from him about ducks and parks and horses. I think he has a better time with her than me!

There are some strains, mostly around her desire to feed him sugar, often mixed with dairy products and frozen. But in general it is going well and it is lovely how he responds to her. I am really grateful as we are not well off, but mostly I am happy that they enjoy their time together.

hi you amazing lot. struggling to keep up with you!

so a royal George!!! my dp was a bit miffed I feel proud to have a George

bless him FOR THE FIRST TIME HE WENT TO SLEEP IN HIS COT IN HIS ROOM WITHOUT FEEDING TO SLEEP!!! he asked to go in cot and flopped about for a bit then fell asleep clutching bars. I was there but said did nothing except pretend to be asleep and he did his first roll too! (yeah we're late with most stuff!)

woke 20 min later mind

reflux - I still don't know. could lo only suffer at night? he's been posseting/ sick a bit again but not huge amounts. and not upset after. and fine bf though always chokes and coughs. but no meltdowns like we used to have. but wakes hourly or two through the night. in with me. feeds for comfort and pops back to sleep. sometimes seems uncomfortable but not screaming just restless - would scream if me and my boob were not there though! only just starting to get into food.

perfectly happy in the day so I don't think it's reflux??????!!!!!

I might be starting sertraline. not exactly for pnd as I now realise I've always been like this!!!!!! just worse when thyroid flops.

Oh for actual fucksake. Are my work taking the piss?

Got a letter today, from occupational health. Dated 23rd, received 25th, giving me an appt on 26th.

So I rang them and said I can't make that appointment. Was asked why. I said, well with less than 24 hours notice, I can't come as I have 2 children at home, and no one available to care for them on that particular date.

I've been told that is not a valid reason!!! Fuck off!

I am not taking 2 children to a work meeting when it is important as they will be interrogating asking me about issues which aren't really something I want to discuss in front of an 11 year old .

How on earth would I be able to concentrate for one?

I've told them there is no way they can send me an appointment at such short notice and expect me to attend.

I'm really fucking angry.

Off to speak to union yet afuckinggain. Actually, that's a point. They haven't replied to me from Monday yet.....

Oh my word. Today just gets worse!

Not only will O not stop crying - unless I stand up with him on my hip???? But I just had a telephone consultation with the GP. He interrogated me and was really quite rude and clearly doesn't believe there is a problem.

I've got another months note, but fucking hell... that was hard work.

DS1 just asked me why I am crying! What do you say?!! I just said I'm tired!

I'm going to have to speak to the consultant at work. After my appt last time she said she would back up whatever I needed to ensure work understood and left me to heal. Will ask her to write to GP to say to continue with sick note as needed. And to liaise with Occupational Health.

So I was butchered by the NHS to begin with, and now I am to be made to feel like I am wrong/making it up/whinging over nothing?

On top of everything else, O is trying to walk. .

pikz my friend had a baby who only ever did 20-30 min naps til he turned 1. Then he started doing proper couple of hour ones after lunch. She struggled with it too so i don't have any easy answers. Mind, he didn't sleep v well at night either. Sorry.

My conversation with the HV today involved being told to leave F to cry to learn to self settle. And not feed in the night so he'd be hungrier in the day - to not need the night feeds. I'm not utterly convinced i can handle crying as it seems mean when they're so little and don't understand why. However, I'd also appreciate better nights! In the middle is not a great decision on that one as i don't want to cave in after screaming.

On the plus side Operation Nap In Cot was successful eith only 1 resettle for 1hr 45 in total.

detective they are cunts.

I was thinking earlier that I would love a week to myself once the girls arr in nursery. Maybe I should ask work for a week unpaid leave. Do you think they'd say yes?

i'm sure they'd be accomodating. Request, a week's extra leave. Reason: me time. What do you mean no?

detective what utter nobheads. so sorry they're putting you through all that. I hope the union can help.

I had the self settle hv talk. I don't do crying babies - personally i feel it's their only form of communication. g self settled to sleep last night with no pushing from me and has done during the night both in his cot and in with me.

I discovered the 'WIO method' (wait it out) which Is what I'm doing with tips from the no cry sleep solution, though as breast milk is fattier at night I don't feel I can withhold feeds. he's a skinny malinky like my family so needs all he can get! he often won't take a feed if he doesn't want it, just needs adjusting, burping etc. except it's so frequent that I have to have him in with me. he's still not rolling etc though is very good at sitting and is bum shuffling. but that's no good in the night!!

the only helpful thing a hv has ever said was that babies take their calorie intake over a whole week which helps when I get food and breast refusal!!!

I always said that my child could cry I was not going to give in and that I would sleep train at 12 weeks. Hahahahaha. I can't let O cry, it breaks my heart. My mum said at Xmas time that she was just making a fuss and I told her not to criticise my parenting, I was not going to let a 4 week old cry like it or not. As for sleep training I'm lucky to have a child who likes sleeping.

det so sorry. When is your due date back at work? I can't believe your OH is back at work already, it passed so quickly, hasn't it?

pr hugs too.

I still like being with O although trying to figure how I can make some money here. I'm doing the property management part time but it's not enough and I can't take on more properties. I'm thinking about cheap cloth nappies, the ones you can get here are expensive and very limited. I need to talk to an accountant and see whether there is a market for it.