March 2013 - still too sleep deprived to think of a funky title

[StormyBrid]

Old thread here.

We seemed to be running out of space (again) so I made us a new thread.

In my defence, James McAvoy is hot. Even when he's half a goat.

Aaaah, makes much more sense now! I was thinking of the late 80's BBC version!

Ha ha soyo, that would have been a very weird crush for stormy to have had! Yuck! Middle aged beardy half goat!

Gah - DD went to bed at 7.30. No problem. Woke up at 10.45 and now won't go back to sleep. WTF? This never happens (in the last two months) so I have no idea what to do. Go to bed and leave her to it (she's quietly playing in her cot) only to be woken 10 mins after I fall asleep? Or do I go in there and try and coax her to sleep with the risk of waking her up more and making it worse? In the old days, i'd be crying by now...

any if she is content i would just leave her. she may settle herself.

worse maybe just let dd watch you eat and start weaning again in a few weeks.

Purees annoy me i would rather blw but its messy and time consuming. .

Ive had my hair done this evening and i feel like a new woman. Had a wonderful head massage too.

stormy I wouldn't be surprised if they are distant cousins, pretty much all my cousins and aunties live in Shirebrook! Also, definitely agree with you about James McAvoy. Phwoar. DS now has 7 teeth, the bite marks I get are ridiculous.

worse if the worselet is happy on milk, keep her on milk, she will let you know when she's ready DS went bloody nuts earlier with excitement, OH gave him pizza crust!

Just sat down for the first time all day, been sanding and painting walls. It may be much easier to do housey things with DS in bed, but I don't half feel it in the morning!

You were right KF - I left her to it and she'd settled down by the time I went to bed. DH didn't bother turning in until 1am which kept me awake and I was woken stupidly early because DD had woken up on her front and got all distressed about it. Anyone else's OH not go to bed at the same time as them? I think I get the hump because he knows he has to get up early (left for work at 7) but won't go to bed at a sensible time so comes in and declares 'i need a nap'. Me too, pal.

It unanimous. I can give the tiddler a break and bin the purées. Yay!!!! You don't know how happy that makes me. I'll make an effort to eat at least one thing each meal that is baby friendly enough for her to have a taste should she show an interest. Not cheese though. Oh noooooo. Never cheese.

Any clever any-baby, settling herself. and

Stormy James MacAvoy you say. Nope, not doing it for me. His eyes are wrong. I'm not entirely sure how his eyes are wrong, they just are. Jude Law on the other hand, although completely and utterly unfanciable in all other respects has the most amazing eyes. I saw him once on Primrose Hill, or rather I saw his eyes. Thought 1 : what a g*t (he was having a rather stroppy conversation with someone). Thought 2: WOW those eyes. (Strangely they don't seem to translate themselves well on screen). Thought 3: 'OMG it's Jude Law.... and now I'm being a sad celeb stalkery type. Help.... look away, look away... not noticed... but those EYES.... don't look I am pathetic

Oh damn, name checking out the window as dd just coo-ed over the intercom. I have approx 2 mins before she gets cross and yells.

something wow 7 teeth! We still have big fat 0. How is ds managing with the pain of teeth coning through? My rl friend is having really hard time with her dd.

any yay for self sleeping. See babies can self settle when they want too. Yes i have that from dh too. I had a family friend round last night to do my hair. Dh announced he was going to bed because he has to get up early. Never thought about me who wakes for the night feeds and settling. I actually woke up twice in the night before he got up for work and he still complained about being tired.

worse does this mean i can ditch my purees because ds gets constipated? please say yes

I have lots of cleaning to do today. Me with the great ideas decided to make pizza from scratch for dinner last night so now my kitchen is covered in flour.

Worse-another one here saying just leave it for a bit. The best thing is definitely to have her on your lap for as many meals as possible. She'll soon start grabbing stuff off your plate, let her take anything, just keep an eye on her when she puts it in her mouth. Or have her in her high chair, just put stuff in front of her when you're eating, doesn't matter if all she does is stick it in her eye. Doesn't need to be baby friendly (cucumber for example, dd loves it. Can't get any bites out of it but its fun!) we're heading away from purees again as whilst she'll tolerate them now (she's a people pleaser!) she doesn't really get any JOY from them. She did for a few days when they were new but not any more.

kf he had his first 2 through at 3 months and struggled quite a bit for a couple of days then when he got his others through it just seemed to bother him for a day but he seems alright with them now. Everything gets chewed!

I gave DS some cucumber the other day and he just inhaled it, it went straight down his throat, he gagged, swallowed, smiled and shouted for me.

*more. Not me. I'd be impressed if he shouted for me!

Morning all.
The sun is out in Norfolk. Funny really, Thursday was 30 degrees or something crazy with an overnight bedroom temperature of 28 and then yesterday it was 18 degrees with rain all day. Bbbrrr?. The rain didn?t stop us having a very soggy walk though; I like rain on bare legs when it?s warm enough. Saw the doc again yesterday and they are doing some tests on ecobaby to see if she has a bacterial or viral infection. We were hoping to go to wales this weekend but we have to stay put now. DH did the first overnight for ages last night as I?d managed to express some milk and sod?s law she first woke at 0430. Bloody typical! He feels perky and fresh as a daisy this morning after his night duty. He?s gone off to the depths of Essex for work today so we?re alone on a weekend which isn?t my funnest idea of fun because other Mummy friends like to catch up with their partners on a weekend. It looks like another tramp around a national trust place is on the cards.
KFF happy six month celebration! I like the idea of celebrating that milestone. It?s kind of all change from here on in as they become more mobile and less helpless. Is it too nosey to ask about the culture you were raised in? There?s a distinct lack of culture in my upbringing and it?s all a mish mash of traditions.
worse as I type I am eating a chunk of cheese. Massive. It?s so tasty. I am sorry that tiddler will not have this pleasure for a while. What a strange reaction. Maybe, as someone else suggested I think, it was a coincidence and it was the physical presence of a food stuff rather than the presence of cheese that did her in. But, as food is out of the window for a while, no problem! The problem lies in ensuring you have some non-salt laden baby appropriate thing on your plate at every meal time. It is a real lesson in embracing healthy eating again post-partum (partum being the point in time where the food provision went a bit sketchy in this household).
any it bugs me too when DH comes to bed at another time. In fact, I?m so grouchy about it that it doesn?t happen anymore I just can?t sleep until he?s up with me. Unless he?s away of course, and then having the bed to myself is just fine.
Ug. My little one has just woken up and my name checking will have to end too. Bah! But glad those hols were happy plonk
Happy weekend everyone. May it be full of late summer sun and bounty.

Ah home safe and sound. So nice to come home to autumn, I'm wearing a scarf (indescribable happiness). Flight back was ok but harder work as we landed at 10pm then had a 90 minute drive home (via McDonalds). we allslept til 8.30 this morning though, and my own bed is bliss.

Opened the curtains this morning to discover the house over the way has no roof and lots of scorch marks all over. There's no tarpaulin in place so there must have been a fire in the last day or two, and it's clearly been evacuated. Poor neighbours. But I must admit, as I've been reading the Deathly Hallows all week my first thought was that Voldemort had tried to use the killing curse there.

Something I have decided to buy shares in aloe vera. I stupidly sat out on a sunny day and have burnt the front of my ankles. Ouch. In addition to mozzie bites and heat rash I've decided our next holiday will be to Norway. At Christmas.

Worse DS loves to sit on my lap and eat with me. Hopefully it may be the answer for you but I'd try not to fret if she's simply not interested. She'll get there.

We're mainly in 9-12 months clothes here, with some 6-9 and some (gasp) 12-18 months. His waist bands are all too big but he's got big feet and long legs.

Mmmmmmcavoy and with that I'm off to do the shopping.

KF having your hair done - lovely - I SO need to sort mine out!

Yesterday here officially sucked. I'm starting to think maybe my relationship with OH is beyond repair...

The slightest thing I ask him to help with, he deems as unnecessary nagging. And he's now finished night shifts forever but still stays in bed until midday so I have to do the entire morning alone despite going to bed at the same time or later.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable to want to look after the flat we bought, seeing as I invested over double the amount of money into it. I've also bought all the furniture and the dishwasher etc, yet he decided that the deposit from the old place should all go into his bank account. I'm beyond angry - I buy all the shopping and have always paid half of everything (and some) despite not earning even slightly as much, and now not having any earnings at all since March. He doesn't seem to value us enough to think he needs to pay towards anything at all. Yet he still makes out that I'm hell to live with. I've lost all respect for him tbh. I watch the man I used to find attractive eating his bogies and the thought of kissing him repulses me. Is this normal?!

I've sorted out everything, from insurance to nappies, yet somehow I'm asking too much to expect dirty plates to go into the dishwasher I bought. He shows me no affection at all unless he wants his jollies (which by the way don't involve DTD, just him iyswim...) and he tells me I'm disgusting and fat because my bely hasn't shrunk back. He makes out this is just a joke. It doesn't feel funny to me.

When we moved his best buddy (who lives 10 mins away now) bought him beer vouchers, but I don't appear to be invited, so they went out and I stayed home alone with DS, because obviously he works days now so his evenings should be his own, right?! Never mind that I've looked after DS alone for days on end whilst still paying for more than half of everything. He even referred to our family as 'this mess I'm in'...

I don't know what to do - he outright refused counselling and I can't afford to pay all the mortgage and the nanny fees when I go back to work. I feel I deserve better. I'm aware I do point out the fact that I put more into the flat a lot, but that's because I feel really aggrieved that he gives money to his parents and then I have to cover his tax bills.

Sorry to moan, I just don't know where the man who looked after the place he was living when we met (which just happened to be at his buddy's too) went, and why our home and family life seems to mean so little in comparison.

Oh no leni - no time to post but to your DH.

Awww leni big hugs. I dont even know what to say. He really is taking you for granted. Even if he said things as a joke its still is out of order. maybe you both need a break from each other and see what happens from there? Maybe he will then realise what an idiot he has been and what a wonderful woman you are. Does this mean you couldn't get your bloods done yesterday?

Welcome back plonky . Nothing beats home especially your own bed.

eco its ok you can be nosy. Im Turkish, born in the UK though. Hence going for the controversial especially on mn circumcision for ds.

No time to post, I'm cooking lunch, but didn't want to read and run....

Leni none of what you describe is right or normal or in any way at all acceptable. He's being an arse at best and emotionally and financially abusive at worst. Big big hug.

I'm so angry on your behalf.

Leni you know what they'd say on the relationships board, don't you? I hope you can persuade him to stop being a massive knob before it comes to that.

something the man says are you related to the Graves clan at all?

And that's it for my namechecking, because a quick pint with my dad turned into rolling home pissed at 2am. Argh, hangover...

Wow Leni. Just, wow. You sound like an amazing lady, incredibly capable, emotionally strong and sensible. My first instinct is to wonder if you need him. I hope he stops being an arse but his track record would suggest otherwise, and I completely agree with worse. The mortgage is the least important thing, don't let him off the hook because he contributes far too little to your household expenses.

Oh and worse, no idea on the swimming pool temp. It was cold though, the first few lengths were a necessary warm up.

Stormy DS prefers his sausages skin on, as he believes health visitors are just nosy old botches anyway (his words, promise).

Leni- I agree with everyone else, including about how fantastic you are being. Something needs to change, how confident are you that that something will be him? What will he do if you leave? Or threaten to? Or preferably, kick him out. Could you get some financial advice to work out whether you'd be able to keep the flat? Not necessarily because I think you should kick him out, but because you need to know what your options are if you do decide that you can't carry on like this. He sounds like a complete dick tbh, I know there's a lot going on in his head but he sounds completely unwilling to help himself. How is he with DS (on the few occasions he actually spends anytime with him?) loving? Playful? That would be a big deciding factor for me.

Thanks all for the very much needed support - yes he is good with DS most of the time, sometimes he shouts if he wont stop crying though which is ridiculous. He has no patience at all. He has actually helped me tidy up a bit today because a friend is coming over, but it certainly doesn't make up for his twattishness the rest of the time.

As always with him this is probably all about something underlying that he just can't admit. I'm not sure how to explain how seriously I've considered ending it, and I know that's exactly what they'd say on the relationships boards!

leni Have you weighed up what life would be like with and without him? Do that and see what wins. Then follow your heart. If you wake up unhappy every morning, something HAS to change or it'll just get worse by festering. Ask DH if he's happy...?

Leni I've recently had huge frustration with DH acting like a manchild rather than manning up & realising that although life is busy tiring & chaotic now he just needs to get on with enjoying it or it'll ruin this lovely time, but it sounds like nothing compared the shit you're having to put up with. I found it really hard to get across to my DH just how seriously I felt about it & it was only when I wrote it all down in a letter he realised he needed to buck his ideas up. If you've tried everything & nothing is changing you need to ask yourself if you're happier with it without him & whether your relationship is one you'd be proud to bring your child up in (when I explained that bit to DH it brought it all home I think). If the answer to either of those involves you leaving you've got a hard choice to make.

I truly hope it doesn't come to that for you unless that's absolutely right for you but in the meantime and just in case it might be worth doing some initial investigations into what position you'd be in financially if you/he did leave & make sure you & DS are as protected as possible. That may sound like terrible jumping the gun & I hope I'm not being awful saying it, I just want to make sure you're looking after your best interests.

Argh, I agree with both of those - I think financially we'd have to both stay living here in different rooms (luckily we have three), because I could afford all but bills myself probably. All this time I've been paying more than half of all our expenses yet until last year I was earning almost a third of his wage. He still managed not to save as much as me and to be constantly unable to pay his tax bills. Money's always a big issue.

We actually had a good day yesterday, mostly because he actually helped me and he did a lot of daddying as it was my best friend visiting - meaning we couldn't argue either.

He must be aware that it's unfair how I've put in so much more and if I were to analyse it I'd say he's guilty and that's exactly why he acts so defensively about it.

It seems so stupid to fall apart now after all we've been through

On another note, DS did a poonami ALL OVER HIS COT. Even wiped it up the bumpers. Ahh the joys of weaning! His poo is slightly more browny green since starting food, which I guess makes sense as we're adding lots of orange and green foods to the normal yellow. My washing machine's going to wear out at this rate.