kyz you are a fucking amazing swearer, as well as big sister, daughter and mum.
izzy (((hugs)))
chasing he's painting himself out to be a victim. He is a pathetic excuse for a human being. A decent person, which we know he isn't, would admit what he had done and show some kind of remorse. But he isn't. He is a git, being enabled by his family and friends. The girls simpering over him aren't thinking ooh, good, my turn to be beaten up. They just quite simply either don't believe it, or think in some way he must have been provoked, and it would never happen to them. That is how much society enables abusers to keep going.
I once told my MIL about being beaten up quite horrifically by my ex. It started from a fight. He was going on and on about how one of my friends wanted to fuck him, and how he could click his fingers and she would come running. He was shouting it right in my face and I slapped him. Not hard. It was a stupid thing to do but I had to stop him from going on and on so cruelly. This particular beating up happened as a direct result of me slapping him, once. I was unrecognisable afterwards. Anyway, years later I told my MIL about it. And you know what she said? I deserved it, it was my fault as I had slapped him. I had started it. My ex was a competitive boxer, a huge bloke. Knew just how to hit without breaking anything. I'm just over 5'2", and at the time weighed under 7stone.
Now I know I shouldn't have slapped him, but someone with that much violence in him would have found another trigger, as he did another time. But another woman is able to say it was my fault? And she is not the only one, in fact I went for months (years?) thinking it was my fault. He never apologised to me, I ended up apologising to him.
You wouldn't think that anyone sane would ever excuse what he did. It was hardly self defence. But people do. Before I left Paris I made sure that people knew what had happened. As far as I know he still has masses of friends and women falling at his feet. Because somehow, society always blames the victim in actions such as these. Rape victims are blamed for drinking too much, or wearing skimpy clothes, or going to someone's flat. DOmestic abuse victims are blamed all too easily. Something must have set him off. Well, she must have been difficult to live with. Or they just don't believe it. He would never have done something like that.
So, back to you. You have to move on. Walk away. You have done your part. You reported him to the police. You have told people the truth. But you are now free. Free to find someone who will never, ever, even think about laying a hand on you or your gorgeous son. He is a violent wankstain, who not only abused you physically, but was a massive emotional abuser iirc. He will continue being a cunt, possibly forever. But you and Oscar are free. His future girlfriends are not your problem. And your friends taking sides? They should be on the side of the victim. Tey aren't? They're not worth it.
You will have new friends, new boyfriends one day. And believe me you will be far happier than your ex ever will. He fucked up, he lost his son. One day he will regret it. He thinks he is the victim now, but that is because he is a twisted little fuck. And twisted little fucks are never happy.