November 2012 - The Adventure Continues

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1787896-November-2012-Crawling-Already-Uh-oh

This thread's topic is what size of nappies are your babies in? And how are the cloth bum babies doing?

Lily what a struggle... One I hope gets resolved soon x

Chasing what a fucking wanker... He is goading you and being a utter tosser. You do have the strength for this and we are with you every step.

Today's seems to have been a shite quiche day for many. I can add only hugs and and love

I today am tired.

Yep, got that confirmed today madame

Chasing Remember, you are entitled to legal aid as a victim of DV. He is not. You can have legal representation and advice, while he will have nothing unless he pays a shit load for it.

You have the upper hand.

He is getting more contact than a court would impose any way. Also, I noted you are travelling to him sometimes. Forget that for one. He is responsible for collecting and returning O. It isn't your responsibility to facilitate contact other than be home at the arranged times for collection and drop off.

I still want to punch him in the face. And that girl is fucking stupid. Stupid if she doesn't run a mile given what you have told her.

My ex started dating a girl straight away, literally the moment we broke up. I know she doesn't know he has a caution for DV. I just feel pity for her. Although even that has diminished now. Time is a great cliche healer. I don't give a shiny shit any more!

The regrets will stop. Soon.

Lily That astounds me. What the actual fuck? That is so very wrong. I am pleased that a solicitor has taken this on for you for free though. Although I am not glad it has to come to that. Just insane. Utter insanity. .

In the UK a child can have any surname you wish. Mums, dads, one you made up, whatever. I find it hard to think that such draconian laws exist elsewhere. :(

Hope the haggis pool party is going, um, swimmingly .

Bit fed up today as I am tired, and have a very sore throat. I went for a nap when O did this afternoon, but it hasn't made me feel any better. Just worse!!

I'm tearing my hair out with O at the moment. He was pulling over a (heavy) vase with twigs in. So I moved him away, and went to secure it. I turn around and he is at the laptop unplugging it so he can put the wire in his mouth. Completely ignoring the toys surrounding him. So I move the laptop. And look up. He's at the baby monitor, pulling it out the wall.

I just give up. I can not have anything in this house. The sofas. That is it. Sofa and toys. It is winding me up. I can not baby Oscar proof this place without just removing everything. I have nowhere to remove everything to. And I don't want to get rid of my side table, tv unit, lamps, dining room chairs and table. Etc. You get the picture.

On the plus side, he has taken 2 room temp feeds today. Finally. Makes life easier if he will take it cooler.

Also, he has taken less solids and more milk today, opposite of yesterday. Completely refused lunch. First time ever!

Oh and if he sits raging at the fecking stair gate every time someone leaves or enters the room, I will scream! He is trying every trick in the book to escape the room.

Pool party was dry and land based due to a cloudy day but was lovely to see the laydees and their lady babies. Figured out why Jonas was a nap avoiding emotional wreck today - my sushi breakfast of champions yesterday - I think I was too liberal with the soy sauce poor little bugger's tum was rock hard and he was doing reflux burps like Barney from the Simpsons. He is happier after spending the last couple of hours in the ergo (Cheers PP for the tip to scoosh him down more into it - he was much more secure. He's also spent 20 mins in front of the mirrored wardrobe in the spare room - better than telly apparently - he's been chatting, waving and singing at the reflection baby

chasing he really is a cunt. If. IF something is going on with this girl, then he will have warned her all about your lies and irrational behaviour. That's what abusers do to new victims. They tell them what victims they themselves were of lies, cheating, manipulation or even violence.

One of my exes used to go and on about how his ex cried all the time for no reason. She used to drive him mad. He made me promise I wouldn't cry as he was traumatised by her crying. She also used to faint to get his attention. Oh yeah, she also cheated and lied. All of this was bullshit but I was 18, just arrived in Paris and didn't see the red flags. It is quite possible that she cried all the time. I cried for most of our relationship after the six month honeymoon period. He was vile. And by telling me all this stuff about his ex he groomed me to accept his vileness.

This is what your ex will be doing or will do in any future relationship. You could warn as much as uou like, but unless she is already seeing red flags she quite simply won't believe you.

You are well shot. Trust me.

Omg det I was about to come on and write how the fuck do I L proof my house... He's just tried to climb in the washing machine ffs!

PR my fuckstain of an ex did exactly the same thing. Warned me about his crazy exes stalking him obsessively and how emotionally harrowing it was for him. It was v much prepping me to put up and shut up ie don't be some silly hysterical wimmin like his 'crazy' exes when I dared to object to being treated like shit. Tosser.

Det the elc plastic phone, remote and keys set is good though... No more broken telly..

We have crawling :o well, fast wriggling

I feel like shit and have been told i need to sit and rest with my leg up. Ha de fucking ha.

Lily

Chasing

Det and Pikz

So sorry to have missed haggis meet up. We had the night then day from hell.

I know I shouldn't care, but apparently they have 'hugged' in the flat and that thought just makes me want to throw up.

I wish I didn't care but it has made me feel like shit and like the person I was a month ago. I'm feeling in a very very dark place again. Fucker

I'm sorry for cluttering up the thread, I've been terribly self involved today. I might just go and boil my head or something.

I have some keys, and a vtech phone. The fisher price phone old skool haha! has a short lead on it which he likes.

But nothing seems to beat the real things for him! He even has his own toy laptop .

I feel like my entire life needs baby proofing. I live in a smallish house. I have no clutter or piles of stuff. It is generally tidy, just the things that are being used at that time out. It should be easy. I shouldn't be having to do all this shit! There just aren't the products out there that will stop him.

Gaffer tape may well be the only option Pidj!

Get ready pidj no rest now he's on the move! Clever R!

I am annoyed with myself mostly. I have a new bottle of Ranitidine. O has been having it since monday. He is no longer fighting, screaming, and having to be pinned down by two of us to get it in. I had a taste. Both taste different - although minty. He must have hated the other one. It's been going on 2 months since we got the last bottle. I didn't even consider that it may of had a slightly different taste. He used to take it okay. Now he is back to the same! No more hysterics and spitting it all out!

HE'S A GRADE A PRICK!!!! Don't let him do this to you.

He had no reason to tell you that. He has done it to provoke you. To provoke a reaction.

Or if she has told you that - then she has done it to provoke you, because he will have fed her a mouthful of lies.

There is no need for either of them to tell you what they have. If they wanted a proper relationship, they would do it quietly, and establish that they wanted to be together first before this.

It just shows he is doing it to be a fucking cock.

Don't give up on the idea of a relationship btw. Because the good ones even if MN would have you think otherwise outweigh the bad. You will find someone you love, and who loves you and O right back. You are a beautiful, kind, and lovely woman. Even if you don't think that - that was my first impression of you.

Big hugs izzy, lily and chasing.

Chasing, break ups stink. You will have days like this - but they will be fewer and fewer. He is also a weasel and is trying to rattle you. Can you collect your stuff from the flat any earlier to distance yourself from it? If you can muster it I would be tempted to get your stuff and say she is welcome to stay but that you would need him to reimburse your rent in that case. And then put that in writing so you have more evidence to show he has been unreliable and unreasonable if you end up having to go to court.

All this will really hurt - but it doesn't change the fact that you and o are better off out of there and have a lovely future ahead of you. And you still have a quiche in your corner willing you on.

And don't boil your head. It would wreck your hair.

Chasing he's telling you this to get a reaction. Piss him off back by refusing to talk about anything but O - "Is that relevant? Only I'm in a rush. Perhaps you could email me" or just insist on email so you have a paper trail...

Det, our living room is gated and will be baby proofed, like a giant jail playpen. At the moment he's ok in door bouncer or dj booth, or just sat with toys. But it won't last, the clock's ticking! Builder mate coming for bbq on sunday to quote for proper built in shelves under the stairs, once that's done I'll make with the trunking! Gaffer tape your wires to the skirting, have a jail pen to plonk him in if you need to hang out washing/use the loo and accept that he'll get a few bruises R faceplanted a toy last week and still has the mark by his eye

You are a beautiful, kind, and lovely woman.

^^ this

Bloody DP. Why can't he do a simple thing like keeping an eye on his own bank account?

FFS. He's just racked up £56 worth of charges. And I bet they whack more on top of that .

It isn't totally his fault, but if he just checked it more often it would fucking help!

He checked it on 29th June as a DD was due out on the monday. They had already debited the amount, as RBS do - debits/credits for monday go on a saturday. It had taken him £30 overdrawn. So monday morning he puts £30 in. Which is fine, as long as the money is in the same day.

Today (9 days later) he gets 2 letters. One dated 1st, and one dated 2nd July telling him he had gone overdrawn due to 'card abuse'.

On investigation it appears he used his card on the friday 28th, and when he checked it on the saturday 29th none of these amounts had been debited. He assumed they had been, as this is usually what happens. And this is one thing that REALLY fucks me off about banks. So he took his balance as the actual balance, and put money in accordingly.

He didn't bother to check it again, til today to find out he was nearly £60 overdrawn. So I've had to put that back in to his account. And now have to find the money for the charges.

I just want to scream and stamp my feet. Why can't he just check his fucking bank more.

And why the fuck can't the bank manage to give an accurate balance reflection ffs. And sending 2 letters, to arrive 9 days later is a piss take.

Hmpf.

Banks are twats.

chasing if anything this is a good thing. What an emotionally shallow emotionally as well as physically abusing cunt he is again showing himself to be. It's as if he is reading from the script written by and for abusers. It is so predictable. You're lucky that you are no longer with him for the predictable boringness of his behaviour alone :o

to you and the others among you who have ranted on here or fb today.

chasing if you we're reading this happening to someone else I would bet you would find his desperation to get attention laughable. He can see you are healing and he is picking at the scab. Fuck that and fuck him. You rock and he is a total nob.

Baby proofing. Hmm. We need to get busy with that. P is now incredibly fast and is interested in everything. I think she sort of gets 'no'. I have said no to her repeatedly and moved her from the cat food. Now I just say no and she redirects. Same with the oven door. Can you get locks for oven doors? Ours is floor height and the door pulls down.

Hooray for nearly crawling PP. What on earth bit you that you have been left feeling awful? Yuck.

izzy, VQ, cacacaz and mrswee you were missed at our mini-haggis meet. It was lovely! The babies are getting so big now it is amazing! When I arrived M and J were sitting together in the sitting room having a very serious chat. M has to be the most conversational baby I have ever met! She has proper intonation and everything. I would place bets that she is one of the first to talk.

P ate a sandwich, cake and ice cream for the first time. Cake got proper omnomnom sounds.

She is also sporting a bruise on her forehead from performing some sort of dive onto the CMs solid hardwood floor.

Thankfully her room is a full 6 degrees cooler tonight than last night. The next few days are set to be very hot in stirlingland so I am going to buy lots of magic cool.

Watching a programme about zoo keepers. I would have loved to work with animals. I do work with teenagers though so maybe not so different.

Ha PR! When I read chasing's post I actually said out loud "oh god, the man is so fucking predictable!"

He obviously has the Haynes guide to being a total cunt.

Loris loris loris! Omg! How cute!

chasing

Yes, you were all missed at today's quiche meet. M took great delight in upsetting P and J with her squealiness. I haz photos, but need to get my laptop and camera together for more than 2 minutes to upload them....

Pass there is an AMAZING kid's book called 'Slow Loris' its on the bear's Christmas list.

Chasing my ex was with someone with a few weeks of us splitting up and then got another lass pregnant within 2 months and they all descended into some crazy Benny Hill bunfight. It just left me thinking thaaaaaannnk fuck I'm outta that. Oddly enough being so quickly replaced had the opposite result to what he intended - rather than me thinking OMG what have I lost - it made me think well it can't have been that big a deal let's move on. Laugh at how pitiful he is and move on to better things.