November 2012 - The Adventure Continues

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1787896-November-2012-Crawling-Already-Uh-oh

This thread's topic is what size of nappies are your babies in? And how are the cloth bum babies doing?

Glad you have childcare sorted horsey I know that was stressing you.

stunt

WRT surnames, I have my dad's surname. My mum did not change any of our surnames after she divorced him, including her own as she wanted us to be the same. Of course she then remarried so half of us now have different names, but i still have my dad's. I didn't want M to have any association with him so DP's it was. Indeed one of the reasons I would be open to marriage would be to change my surname. I may do it via deed poll, but to what? DP's name? My stepdad's name? My mother's maiden name?

I would love the same surname as M, but it suited us for her to take DP's.

Morning! I should be at the CM right now but p is snoozing. Must wake her and get a move on.

I astonished everyone including myself by taking Dh's name. 13 years of teaching made being Miss Passme very weird to morph out of. DH said for ages that Mrs Passme was his mum!

Few things at work annoy me more than a call being put through to me with a quick "that's wee bob smith's mum for you" and bearing in mind I have a caseload of 300 kids I have to run through a flipping mental list trying desperately to remember if Bob Smith's mum is mrs smith, miss smith or something totally different. I always feel I deserve a fanfare when I get it right. Never get one

Oh good. It's sweary fucking Wednesday. I have a massive amount of sweariness built up but I can't say any of it on here.

Similar reasons here YW.

I was born with surname 1. I became 'known as' a different surname when I was 10 and my mum remarried. My mum never legally changed it as my Dad would never have agreed.

At 16 mum divorced, and it was the point where I was leaving school. I was pregnant, and had just done my exams. So I kept the other surname until that was all over. Then I just started using the surname I was born with again.

I don't like my surname. I don't think any name goes well with it unless it is a very traditional name. Both DS's names don't sound right with it. My own name, when I say it, I have to say my full name when I introduce myself. The nn that I was given ends in a y, as does my surname. They sound silly when said together - to me.

So basically, I either avoid saying my surname, or give people my full name when I introduce myself.

I didn't want to give my children a name I disliked, or a name I wanted rid of myself! It might be the name of a lot of my family, but I feel nothing for it.

I'd like to be proud of my name!

I am today. O woke at 5 for a feed, and was WIDE awake. Giggling, playing. In fact he woke me up playing in the cot, not crying. When I went in, he was lay in his toddle pod looking all serene, butter wouldn't melt. Except he was the opposite way to which I left him, so instead of being feet to foot, he was head to foot .

I thought there was no way he would go back to sleep. I pulled my best tricks out the bag, and he wasn't having it. Until I stood there, eyes closed ignoring him and rocking him and patting him. He went the fuck back to sleep!

I punched the air, and then couldn't sleep because I was so delighted that he had gone back down! D'oh!

He must have woke about 7.30, but didn't call for us til 8.10.

Yippeeee!

Izzy ((hugs)) you poor thing. I wish there was a magic cure for you all

Horsey glad you've got childcare sorted, it's a relief, isn't it?

Det I can totally picture O beaming up at you, but back to front. Little monkey!

Just got back from shopping, F practiced her very best screech the whole way round, which attracted a lot of attention, which made her screech in delight even more Have picked up some burgers and piri-piri chicken strips to have a BBQ tonight - the cake might have to wait! Seems stupid to ignore this lovely weather.

Hope the Haggis munchers enjoy today, we totally couldn't have come anyway. Far too busy, doncha know?! Doing, um, vair important things

YW I guess O took his dads name as the plan was always for us to get married at some point anyway. Plus it was the 'traditional' thing to do. I also liked the fact that it gave him a link to his Chinese heritage. Now, I hate it but XP would never agree to changing it.

You can always have him 'known as' Chasing :)

Tough luck if he doesn't like it. Should of thought of that, shouldn't he?!

yw I'm snap with horsey. Married, kept my surname, girls have their dad's. It's more interesting/I know I gave birth to them/just felt right. DD1 sometimes wants to be the same name as me so we told her she could choose whenever she likes. Most of my friends have given their surnames as a middle name but that would have meant both DDs having five names. Bit much, even for us elaborate name lovers!

Also totally joint finances here. I totally trust DH. Hope that doesn't bite me on the arse one day. But I just feel I know. He's the one and I trust him absolutely.

Hugs to izzy. So sorry you're having such a hard time.

pidj am a bite magnet so sympathy.

Hey everyone else.

Quick message for yellowwellies thank you for the invite to come meet up. Unfortunately I have swimming class today so can't make it. The mobile website doesn't seem to work replying to pm's, hence replying here.

I would be interested in meeting up some time though, you all sound a lovely bunch. :)

Oh, I asked to join the Facebook group but haven't had the invite accepted. Do I need to pm someone my real name or something?

Will try and read back now.

O has Leo's surname. I desperately want him to be on birth certificate but I'm still not even close to it (submitted papers in February, still nothing). I wanted her to have at least this common with him. But this means that she can't have dual nationality just yet as Hungarian law does not allow kids to have their father's surname if parents weren't married and they don't have father's permission. We were not, obv no permission either. So court case once again, this time it's to force the Hungarian law to harmonise with uk law where you can choose any surnames. I honestly don't get it, if they allow dual citizenships than why can't you co-ordinate things? The register bluntly suggested here, in hungary that I register O on my own surname until I pointed out that one person can't have 2 different surnames in different passports. It's sweary wed, right? Fuck you Hungarian Law and government, I hate you all. The funny bit is (though im crying) that because I can't sort out the nationality, she can't have national insurance here. Effectively forcing us back to the uk if she gets very ill and I can't afford treatments. She has the right to be Hungarian and is eligible for medical care for free but bec of one fucking law I have to sue the system.

Am in car. P is inside CMs house. Eep! Apparently she is singing and nomming melon. 5 more minutes then I go back and get her.

My old name was very jockinese. I do miss that about it. Mind you, I don't miss having to spell it or have people spit on me while over emphasising the ch on the end. Weirdly, lots of jock children can't do the ch sound now.

I thought about giving my surname as a middle name. I actually wish we had now. Both my parents have their mother's maiden name as middle names. DH wasn't at all keen.

Ach well. Or ack well. Whatevs

Cross post with lilly

Fuck them lilly. Fuck them and their pish.

Honestly. As if life hasn't been hard enough

Pass I like that idea - maiden name as middle name - that's what the Spanish do isn't it? My maiden name was unpronounceable Polish and had to be spelt every time so although I don't like my married name especially it is easier. Because my maiden name is verr long and Polish double barrelling would have been a bit .

Interesting to hear all the different reasons for surname choices!

Jeez Lilly that's just cruel to make you jump thru so many hurdles

I know. The only positive thing is my lawyer who took up the case for free as this is a first, never happened before. I just agreed that he could use my case in his portfolio and teach other lawyers at seminars. Win win situation.

Lily that is so unfair, I'm so sorry they are making it so hard for you. As if you didn't already have enough to deal with.

Det your story is so similar to mine, mum remarried when I was 3 so I took SDad's surname but they divorced when I was 11 so went back to original. However have nothing to do with my bio father so was delighted to get rid of that name and take DH's. Everyone was surprised as I'm a bit of a rabid feminist but to me it was far preferable to have the name of a man I'd chosen to be with than one who I barely know and dislike. I'm still Ms though!

L has a family name from my Mum's side as a middle name (my great great GM's surname!) which I think is pretty cool.

My DH wouldn't have kids till we were married, he wanted all of "his" family to have the same name. I probably could have argued him into taking my maiden name if I wanted, but when we got married I was still legally Ms exH. I was glad to lose exH name, though everyone said it was an awesome name to have.

Izzy sorry you had a bad night, last night was 'good' for us with waking only every 2 hours, the night before was every hour. I get really angry with T sometimes, he's obviously soo bloody tired but just won't sleep, and I'm fucking exhausted and getting more and more irrationally angry at him refusing to do what I desperately want to do. [hugs] I hope you get some time today for a break or a nap. I've started sleeping from 8-10pm each night, DH has to do all wake-ups/screaming in those hours. It's been 4 days if this, and I'm just starting to feel a bit more human.

Lilly some governments are so bloody ridiculous! Lets hope you get to make history :) and get what you're due, obviously.

Lily that is really shit. I am really angry on your behalf that this is being made so difficult for you.

I have vowed today never to get into another relationship as I just can't handle another breakup/having another ex. When Oscar leaves home I will get cats.

Had an almighty row with XP today. I am still paying rent on the old flat until august. He wants a female friend from work to move in (to the 1 bed flat ) for a few weeks as her partner beat her up . He even accompanied her to hospital and they have been texting a lot. I said that whilst that flat is still jointly mine and a lot of my stuff is still there, there is no way another girl is staying there. In my anger I contacted said work friend and told her that XP is also violent and she isn't staying at my flat. Apparently her stuff is there, so I have told her to shift it.

I feel upset and confused. I didn't think I had feelings for him still so why am I confused? I felt so strong up until today. He really sucks the life out of me. I can't stand the thought of another girl in the flat we bought our baby home from hospital to.

He looked good too . All that unbroken sleep and freedom are obviously doing him good.

But my references for the flat came back clear today, so as of the end of August me and O have our own place.

Oh and now we are discussing going through the courts for contact arrangements. Things are getting nasty. Not sure I have the strength for it.

chasing if she has moved in you can stop paying your rent there. Tell them to fuck right off for the next rent payment. They are both in work.

on your behalf. I get you're mighty pissed off and no doubt a little

chasing are you off that tenancy as of now? If you are, don't pay any more rent. The threat of contact through the court is shit, I expect it is to intimidate you. It will also cost XP a bloody fortune. I don't think he will do it, but if he does, we are here to help.

As for the emotional pull, you can't expect that to be severed overnight. He's fucking goading you with the reference to that girl. But channel the rage. Hugs.

Madame I'm off the tenancy as of august. Have just paid my final rent payment.

You've probably thought of this but confirm this to utility companies too.