November 2012 - The weaning adventure continues

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1772925-November-2012-Adventurous-eaters-food-refusers-and-everything-in-between

I think til we've finished having babies it suits. I don't want a massive gap again - which is what I ended up having because I went to uni.

While we can get by with a little family help, and no massive childcare costs, it's fine. So once children are all in school, I guess he might want to consider it or I'll make him consider it! as he won't even be 30 by then!

Fair enough. Uni isn't for everyone. He's still young enough to do something else later. I doubt I'll be qualified in what I do before I'm 40 at my current rate.

I think he will get fed up and bored of his work eventually! I suspect he will do something else at some point!

I wish he'd done it before I met him - but like he says, if he had gone to uni we would never have met!

Det hopefully he'll be onto dairy before he realises what he's missing. My sister persuaded her son that brown food (chocolate) was only for Mummies until he was nearly 3. She just kept saying 'you wouldn't like it'. This was for health / weight not CMPI reasons. I'm hoping Jonas can be similarly conned. That amount of refined sugar and saturated fat isn't really saying 'I love you' anyway x

I hope so! He is already grunting at things he sees me eating, even when I try and hide them....!

That grunt and look as if to say, 'oi you bitch, hand the grub over!'

I was scoffing haribo the other day with Jonas in my arms and the wee bugger leant close to my chewing mouth going 'sniff, sniff, smells good Mumma' and gave me his Jedi mind trick / share the goodies stare (about an inch from my face)

Hahaha! They know how to pile on the guilt, right?!

I was never really bothered about uni, I've always been very brainy and "destined for big things" but I've never really had the oomph. Growing up I just wanted to be happy and settled with a nice job, husband and children that's what made DHs infertility so much harder
I applied for Oxford on a whim because I had a place to fill on my UCAS, interview and got in. Obviously you can't turn down Oxford for Sheffield, especially when your DPs have told everyone about they Oxbridge daughter.

It wasn't the best for the first couple of years, I got ill with depression and anxiety and I missed DH and my family. After counselling I went back and really enjoyed my third year, a bit too much, and my degree suffered. Sometimes I regret not putting more work in, but I don't really because that's what made me ill. In the end I left uni having loved it and made some amazing friends.

But when I finished I was definitely ready to work. A lot of my friends moved to London for city job and are now earning loads. I'm not but I do love my job. It's interesting, laid back, flexible and great people but not exactly a high flying career of an Oxbridge graduate.
It's work well for now with M and if I decide I want a career change later, I'll still be young enough.

Sorry started off as a quick reply and ended up getting a bit deep

Fuck wank shit bollacks. I'm 99% sure I have a uti. Fucking wank.

What I actually came on to post was, the relative that I mentioned the other week doing the Ultra Marathon. He's just completed it, 100 miles in 26.5 hours, set off at 8pm last night. It had been windy and pissing it down too. He really is a machine!

Up with a sick 3yo now. The fun never ends. She sounds awful. Like J did a couple of days ago. Has taken PCM so hopefully she will sleep.

Thank you for kind messages x

J nearly had a test of dairy today as I dropped a yoghurt about an inch from his head.

vq it was the latter. You're correct in that the time we have off while on mat leave is classed as working so by being off on mat leave for a year when I return I'll then be entitled to my full sick pay entitlement again. Sorry for the confusion!

yw and evil thank you we are looking forward to his christening. I'm hoping we are organised!

GT get it sorted my love. Don't forget, was it Evil's wee man arrived early because of a UTI. You don't want an even closer age gap than 10 months - plus LO wouldn't be allowed into the NICU so it'd be a nightmare xx

Yw haribo. Yum yum.

Det glad your pay situation is sorted. I still do my PF exercises and think of you

Chasing your a better person then me letting xp see o. I'd be horrid in that situation.

Fatima. Really admire that you made it into Oxford on a bit of a whim. Everyone I know who ended up there (not that I know many) have this air of twatishness about them, but your so lovely! I understand that you found it difficult however I think overcoming something like that makes you stronger.

PR how long till you finish your yummy uk supplies? Or do you ration yourself to make it all last.

Ok some advice needed. Theoretically speaking. I know this might sound dumb but its stuck ib my head now. If I was to talk to my gp about FH and his drink problem would the gp tell social services?
Spoke to sil and her advice was to talk to my gp and mention the problem. Her thinking being , maybe the gp could discuss alcohol with him on their next appointment. Is this practical (or am I making excuses) as the surgery has 5drs. He doesn't see a set GP, it's who ever fits in with his schedule which changes every week.

Then I've got the whole SS thing in my head. a Dad who has a drink problem falls over ends up in hospital a mother who can not carry her kid very far and depends on help, to me put like that in black and white seems worrying. Am I over thinking it?

Loui , i don't think your counting trick will clear my head tonight

GT it depends entirely on the policy of the GP as to whether they would contact SS. I think it would be highly unlikely as your DH is not the main or sole care giver. If it were you with the drink problem then that would be different.

Where I work the policy is to inform SS whenever there is an assessment done on someone who drinks heavily and has regular contact with children. They have to attend for the assessment though, and SS will often do nothing. Sadly they have a lot more serious things to deal with and would see you as a capable person who could safeguard her children.

I think it is worth talking to your GP but they are unlikely to be able to then talk to him about it due to client confidentiality. They will not be able to discuss him with you for this reason, except in an advisory capacity and obviously about how it affects you. Would he go with you to see the GP?

If he were to attend A&E with a drink related problem, if seen by an addiction worker then a referral would go to the addiction team if he consented.

Anyone can refer to Social Services, a hospital cleaner, doctors receptionist, school, neighbour, family member etc. if they perceive a risk and can be arsed with the paperwork. SS then act if they feel it is appropriate, and the cut off line for ' good enough' is very low.

J has been coughing dreadfully but has self settled. He and B and DH with his snoring have meant no sleep for me. Thankfully DH is off tomorrow. He is drinking far too much for my liking too

First wake up. 1.5 hours before I'd normally expect his night feed - still he fell asleep midway between feeding him down for the night. So far so good (soy good? boom tisch).

GT given SS are loathe to remove the kids of even hardened smack addicts - you should be right. Put like how you did, it doesn't sound ideal. In his most drunken moments - is H vulnerable? Also you mentioned last week that medics had suspected DH of drug taking but you dismissed it as he was always anti drugs - it struck me that if he was paralytic he'd be likely to try anything ?

OK he's fed and asleep with no screaming - wooo will this last???!??????

Sounding really good yw - I reckon you must be pretty much in the clear by now.

Pass and yw thanks for mentioning banana sorreen - sounds great. They only had the plain one in tescos today - dang. Thanks also to whoever posted that dairy and egg free list - it was great.

G has also seemed really uncomfortable after white fish now. But I can't believe he would have issues with so many things. Roll on the allergy test end of July. Think i will do a skin test with fish before then. Still waiting for the dietician to call. I feel like I really need help with it now. Power of the quiche is awesome but can only go so far... I'm also wondering if I should be down at the gps again demanding chip fat. He hasn't had a bottle so far and am a bit worried he won't now take one - especially one with chip fat in. I am happy to bf as long as he needs it and as I'm stopping work can still do day feeds. Is it too big a risk to plan on this and then moving to oatly or coconut milk do you think?

Gt - definitely get to the docs re uti. It is the biggest casuse of prematurity. And if you get a nice one you could ask for advice re dh drinking. Or maybe try phoning alcohol concern?

Vq - hope you are asleep by now lovely.

Stunt - been thinking about you today. Sounds like you are really between a rock and a hard place. I think leaving your older 2 with dh and staying with your mum doesn't sound great. I hope things have been better today. I don't know what to suggest really. I do think though that you could and would manage all 3 yourself if you needed to. I think you are amazing and suspect you could manage a he'll of a lot if you had to (and in fact do on a daily basis). Doesn't mean it would be fun though. Really big hugs. Try to look after yourself too - not easy I know but so important.

Chasing - don't know what I would do in your shoes re contact for o with in laws and xp. Think I would want it supervised. Even you mentioning them now makes my blood boil! Part of me thinks he should be able to have a relationship with all his family - but I don't trust them one jot.

G has been better today ilness wise. Still very spotty but no big blisters or crusts so still not sure if it is cp. My sister wants us to visit her and the rest of the family inc mum and dad tomorrow regardless to celebrate her ds birthday. They have all had the pox but if it isn't that I'd hate them to get it. I'd love to see them though. Mum and dad have been away for a month and I've missed them.

Sending good vibes to all. Seems like there are lots going through tough times at the moment.

Thank you for your advice everyone. I guess my concern is Explaining how SS found out if they were to investigate.
I did think again about the drugs but sil told me they had tested him as they didn't believe him. Her husband was with FH when dr spoke to him.

Both his brothers have had words with him. Found out through sil not him. He could loose his job. Both told him he would loose me and lo. But I now know its made no difference.

Every fucking two fucking hours fucking all fucking night.

Fucking growth spurt

bplp Glad it turned out ok with your DP's job. That must have been a worry.
And glad to hear work went well.

horsey Good spot with the elbow. Hope E is doing ok now.

chasing You are doing brilliantly and there are bound to be days that are harder than others - it's still early days.

kyzordz That's horrendous. What a selfish arse :(

fatima that's really sad. I find it a bit scary hearing things like that as it makes you realise how your life could be turned upside down overnight. Poor woman :(

I can also relate to having no me time. At the moment I am either at work or looking after the girls. I get no time to myself at all really and it's got me down a bit this week.

((Hugs)) VQ You've always been a great support to the quiche, and you have fought every step of the way to get J what he needs. Hope you're doing ok.

stunt that sounds really tough :( I don't really know what to suggest.

18.5lb det That is fantastic - well done.

Had a mixed week here. My Dad Cameron stay for a few days. We had a lovely time but I really missed my Mum. Am very much struggling with that at the moment.
And my poor horse with the hairline fracture has been back in the vets cos she still very lame, and it turns out she has another fracture that was missed. She'll never be ridden again and I've got to give her another 8-12 weeks of strict box rest before deciding whether to keep her going at all :( I am gutted. She's an amazing horse.

Just quickly caught up on the last 3 days so apologies for what I've missed. I am desperately trying to keep up as I don't want to lose this quiche but I am finding it harder and harder so I may have to admit defeat soon.

So sorry horsey about your horse. Don't lose the quiche - just dip in and out when you have to.)

Morning all, sorry haven't had time to catch up yet, have had a mega weekend, S was a flower girl on Friday at my cousins wedding and today is her christening day

Just wanted to say I hope izzy and J have a lovely day as well.

Sorry about your horse kirrin you must be gutted.

Back to one awakening here. I slept very badly.

Don't know about social services GT but I doubt you would get more than a visit at worst. Don't believe everything you read in the press Mail They don't want to cause difficulties for parents. Do't let that stop you from asking for help.

I second what PR says GT. I don't think you should allow fears of SS stand in the way of you seeking support. It is highly unlikely that SS would investigate. And to be frank, if they did, it might be the wake up call your DH needs.

I am sorry l hear about your horse kirrin. Must be devastating.

Have a lovely day fruit and izzy! Make sure there are lots of pics on Facebook for us to see