Thanks for the kind words. Some of what I have been screaming saying must have sunk in, because he sent me a long email this morning acknowledging his contribution is nowhere remotely near what it needs to be and promising to try harder. He also managed to use his initiative and take DS to the dr for his cough not entirely necessary, but he's trying and I'm sure he will have made an effort for when I get home. I am a bit skeptical, not least because he is good at knowing when I have reached the end of my tether and knowing what to say and do for a limited time, but it is long term changes to behaviour that I need, not promises which I cannot rely on.
I know many of you will have the same parenting burdens and will recognise much of what I say. And then there are lily, chasing and others, facing life as a single parent, which is immeasurably harder I am sure. I certainly feel that getting it all out of my system was incredibly cathartic, so that helped, and knowing others have felt like this makes me feel less unique. I am the only breadwinning FT WOH mother I know IRL. A lot of my professional, childless friends think I have a fantastic set up - no impact on career by working part time/having main childcare burden, and a DH who is happy to take on childcare and ostensibly pull his weight on the domestic front. They don't know that I mainly feel like it just means twice the burden, and despite my enjoyment of my job and the fact I am very happy to work, I would ultimately caution in the strongest terms any woman who is likely to be in my position to think extremely carefully about whether that will work longterm.
Anyway. Sometimes a big blow out can be helpful. I'm not the kind of person to keep in how I feel, at least not with DH. No one in our household holds back. Which, for us, is a good thing, overall. And I know that we're capable of forgiving each other for the visciously vile things we say in the heat of the moment, and accepting it was the rage talking. So we'll see.