March 2013 - gurgles, giggles and going on holiday (for some of us at least!)

[pudtat]

Will this do? Never started a thread before so hope this works...

previous thread

Wow leni -I thought my house was shitty a little untidy because I haven't run a hoover round for a couple of weeks and you could write your name in the dust. But dead things? She hasn't just had a baby so there's no excuse.

I have time to tidy this evening as DH has been away since Thurs, until tomorrow, but not sure I fancy it. I might just get the kitchen spic and span to show willing. Went to a baby shower last night, which was my first night out without DD. Was a bit dull but glad to be out the house! WTF though - who has a bs in the evening (after baby mummy has been at work all day with only 2 weeks until d day) and they wouldn't let me take DD, so had to get DM and DF round. Good luck when people treat you as a second class citizen because you have a baby. And she looked reeaally tired but said 'i haven't slowed down at all and I feel fine!' She's going to get a massive reality check in a few weeks' time

I knew i'd jinx it - after fighting for an hour, she's still not asleep. Thinking teeth so given calpol and dentinox. Worked last couple of nights but not this evening it seems. Don't think I can handle a bad night all on my own (even though DH doesn't do anything, it's nice to know he's there).

Any - same here. Only just asleep after me singing/reinstating dummy for over an hour. OH just announced he's away for three days soon (he works nights so when he's off it's my only break)...

I'm wondering how I'll manage when I don't get the two hours he takes care of DS

Just handholding for Any. Hope LO has settled for you now.

Leni I have been thinking about your problem and I trying to come up with something useful to say. Sadly I've not really got anywhere. Agree that your dp needs to see that it isn't acceptable and own tackling the problem. If he/they won't then I think you will just have to say that you won't be taking him to stay. Could you visit from a local b&b or something? Will they be able to visit with you once you move? (Or is mil agoraphobic? Sorry if baby brain has forgotten). YANBU to have issues with this, I am no clean freak but there are limits and you would not be taking DSs safety seriously if you (and I mean BOTH of you as his parents) don't take some action esp once he gets mobile as you say. Can your dp not see that his mum has problems if she won't leave the house and has things in such a state? (Appreciate his father is also complicit in state of house but wonder if is worried about upsetting his mum???).

Of course, you could always apply for hoarders tv show on channel whatever it is

Thanks pud and leni - there was a change of sleeping bag to just a cotton one, a little more dentinox and then a series of put down - high pitched sqeal - pick up - calm down - put down and repeat until she gave in with a bit of shushing at 9.30 ish. Next door but three are having a garden party (must have misplaced my invite) loudly which doesn't help when you have to have a window open as it's 26 degrees in her room. Going to get a Sophie giraffe tomorrow as she was trying to gnaw all her soft animals which just pissed her off more but she was happy chewing one of my knuckles, and she's not interested in the gel filled keys. Fingers crossed for a peaceful night

Speaking of parties. I hear talking and music. Someone's having a very late one!

Haha Pud, how brilliant that would be!! If she finds my request to push the hoover round offensive then I can't imagine how offended she'd be if a tv crew showed up!

Yes she's agoraphobic, but they've been talking about getting my bil to drive them up for a day once we move. Maybe if she saw my clean flat she'd get it. OH is very rude and closed when she tries to talk to him about anything but if I point out the dirt thing he immediately leaps to her defence. Fil doesn't do housework. In fact fil doesn't really get involved with much of real life other than watching tv or going to skittles. He's a very hands off grandpa too, unlike my DF. It's a weird dynamic fraught with ways to offend! The worst part is I like mil a lot as a person, but she seems so worn out, she wears thermal long johns all day and slippers and slopes about all world-weary in their cold dark house. It's cold in there even now! She told me fil has never once bought her a birthday present

We were sitting chatting and she put her hand in one of the many tubs of cat biscuits on the chairs/tables and started fiddling with the biscuits, it was odd. I think she's just retreated into this world where nothing matters much anymore. I almost wish I could go in there and just clean it all up for her so she can start enjoying her surroundings a bit. Once you start thinking that having a microwave balanced on top of a wonky pile of paper that you have to reach around a door that won't open because there's rubbish piled up behind it to use, it's become pretty serious...

My DM was the complete opposite - I got told off if there was one teaspoon in the sink and she hoovered every day, even with 4 kids and whilst headmistress of a school. We were taught that if you see something needs doing, you do it. Maybe that's it, once you stop seeing.

Speaking as a total nonprofessional without a clue here but... She sounds like she needs help for mental health problems - could be side effects of depression, could be actual hoarding behaviour, her aversion to going out etc is not normal. What a life she might have if she got help?!

I appreciate you oh has issues with mh and don't know whether this is more likely to make him see the possibilities or to scare him from tackling it (though it seems likely that this fact is not unrelated). I know he had backed away from seeking help on his own behalf recently... Did he ever get back on that particular horse? Could he be encouraged to do so as an example to his dm?

It all seems so sad...

I agree with pud that it sounds like a mental health issue. I would say there is always a tidier person in a relationship and if one doesn't clear up, the other will. But it sounds like your inlaws have no dynamic and have probably reached a point where they care so little about their surroundings, and possibly each other, that they've both given up. Unfortunately, it is one for your OH to tackle and he will have to gently persuade his Mum to get help.
DD did sleep through but I found her this morning lying with her legs through the bars of her cot and all the toys everywhere. She had a busy night!

And the drum n bass is still playing out the back. No prizes for guessing what they're on.

Nothing to suggest re: the disastrously messy house. Sounds like it's got to the point where it seems like such an enormous task, the mil wouldn't know where to start. Help of some sort definitely needed.

Agreed it's definitely MH stuff. No idea how to tackle it as OH hasn't made progress himself and would rather stick pins in his eyes than actually talk about feelings. His anxiety got back under some sort of control, but he still can't communicate when it matters. His dad is the same which can't help mil - she did bemoan the fact that he wasn't interested in their two kids until they could talk etc. sSe basically did the hardest bit all alone it is sad and OH won't acknowledge anything she says (same as he didn't acknowledge me giving birth or anything I did to sort us out after we lost our home, he refused to deal with any of it and now the mortgage deposit is all the money from my insurance policy that I fought to get).

I'd rather not have to deal with all of this myself really - I don't have my mum so I wish he would appreciate how I feel about that too.

In other news, i bought a movement monitor but have realised the co-sleeper mattress is mounted on wood so not sure if it'll bloody work! So desperate for naps to start happening again that I also bought a Tiny Love 3 in 1 rocker that vibrates and turns into a bed, it'll only last until 6 months but hell, I'll try anything

Leni that sounds so sad. Your OH's stiff upper lip aside, they sound like they've both given up. You say you quite like her - are you at all close with her? Perhaps it would do some good (if you could cope with it) if she came to stay for a few days when you get settled in the new place?

Stormy high on life? They sound like my neighbours. Last night they were selling weed rather loudly and set a fire off at 10 pm last year they set their hedge, and our fence on fire. Actually, I'd rather have people sitting round listening to music and enjoying some class a's than the booze fuelled pyromaniacs to our left.

Crap night here. I blame the heat. Tonight I'm taking a bottle of cool boiled water upstairs with us. When he's moaning in the night and I go over to his cot his eyes suddenly open and he's all smiles. Makes me gooey but I'd prefer he slept! Still no rolling over here. That's supposed to be no wish, right?

Thankfully our back yards are all tiny ans concrete with nothing to burn! DD's sleep pattern was odd last night - bit after ten then one thirty for milk, we'd normally expect wakings around half four and half six, but no, she went right through until six fifteen then eight forty five. I'm wondering if she could hear the music and it was killing her to sleep.

Just offered a bottle of water. She did not look impressed!

She must have been thirsty early on, then perhaps shattered after all that effort? DS grumbled from 2.30 til 4.30. I was completely thrown as he tends to have his first bottle between 7.30 and 8. It took me to 5am to cotton on and give him a bottle, then we all slept til 9.30 mother of the year award nominee, me

It's officially too hot for me. I've got sweaty underboob. I vow never to be pregnant in high summer, I'd definitely kill dp with all his comfy looking shorts and tops while none of my pre pregnancy summer clothes fit.

Breast feeders how are you lot coping in this weather? Just curious as ds's head stuck my arm earlier when I gave him a bottle.

Lots more air circulating round my baps than normal so generally ok here. Mind you, it's a lovely mid 20s here, not too hot.

good afternoon! any tennis fans out there? Is that why it's quiet on here?

Norfolk is hot. I'm guessing everywhere is. I am not a fan. Like many of you seemed to, we had a dodgy night here and it looks like we have another dodgy one ahead. DD is currently upstairs wailing with DH rocking her. No idea whether it's the heat but she does seem upset poor love. It's very clammy. To avoid dehydration we've been feeding every 2 to 2.5 hours so I'm a bit knackered with a headache myself. It's hot plonko this feeding business; it's like hugging a hot water bottle. We found feeding outside in the park the best place as there was some breeze and I had a muslin between us.

I am having trouble distracting myself from the wailing. Guessing you all find it hard to listen to as well? My boobs find it particularly hard; they're like little beacons going wah-wah-wah in a pins and needles way. I'd best get up there and offer moral support to DH. Wish I had some solutions for her.

Evening all, sorry for the radio silence, we were away at a wedding & wifi free.

My lovely friend had a very beautiful wedding yesterday in Derbyshire with the reception in these amazing tepees in a field in the middle of nowhere. It was a fab do but far too hot for bubba who needed frequent outfit changes & hourly feeding in the few bits of shade, but she did enjoy a boogie with the bride! I was a sweaty, chubby, sober mess all day but it was fun non the less & we stayed in a fab B&B last night. Madam didn't get to bed until midnight after a cold shower with me but she woke at 3.30 & then 7.10 which was great.

DD has decided tennis great, which is lucky as we love it, & watched most of the final giggling in her bouncer or jumperoo. It was amazing! I can't believe he won!

It's so so hot here tonight. I wasn't sure what to put her to sleep in but I've gone for white cotton long babygro & no covers. What has everyone else opted for?

Hi soyo I'd been wondering whether she had let you party of not! Sounds like she did :-) Do give us the name of the B and B....maybe plonko, something (?) and I can persuade our OHs to give us a little mini break as the location is convenient.
Sleep wear wise we have gone for a footless very threadbare thin baby grow, no vest, no sleeping bag. But she is obviously weirded out by the lack of bag. After an hour of wailing I have just gone online and bought a) a sheet sleeping bag from jojo b) an electric fan and c) a baby paddling pool. New parents! what suckers! A marketing man's dream.

Ooh I was thinking paddling pool too!

It was actually rooms in a pub, called the Red Lion in Wirksworth. We had a family room with double and single bed so lots of room, the room itself was lovely although the bathroom was pretty basic, the pub was really nice and all the staff were so friendly and helpful and breakfast this morning was spot on. It was £70 a night which I thought was very reasonable and the village it was in was lovely. We think we'll probably go back at some point when she's a little older with the dog too!

Madam went down to sleep beautifully at just before 8 but I can hear her starting to whinge on the monitor so think its time for the screamy fest to begin.

Yep eco, I'm a Derbyshire lass! and a mini break sounds so ideal, especially after this weekend. I. Am. Knackered.

Performed at a local village festival yesterday. 12pm-5pm in the sun with no break for shade, singing and dancing on command. We had flash mobs and a live jukebox, of which pretty much everyone chose for us to perform Footloose, not the most stationary of songs! Really loved it though and I now have a tan and a red nose to be proud of.

We bought a full size paddling pool today, which is big enough for both me and OH to lie down in. DS was apprehensive but liked dipping his toes in. This heat seems to make him very cuddly, not that I'm complaining. He tried a bit of baby porridge tonight, he looked very confused!

Definitely think our pregnancies were all at the right time, I would not like to be pregnant in this weather. SIL is due next month and she looks so fed up. Bless her!

And for those who asked (can't remember who), I opted for a fringe!

SoYo I live 10 minutes from Wirksworth! Lovely place in the sunshine, but can't say I had much fun carrying crates of beer to a cafe through torrential rain last year. Oooh you came within glancing distance of a Plonking.

Eco I totally cried when he won. Having said that, I cry anytime a new champion climbs into the stands to hug their parents. Bartoli yesterday really had me blubbing.

So tempted by the paddling pool. And definitely off to buy a fan tomorrow. Just heard an ice cream fan and I can't think of anything other than a 99 with a flake and raspberry sauce. Bloody things disappeared though now, of course.

I think I'll be going to some kind of large shop tomorrow to just stand in the air conditioning.

Something can't wait to see the fringe. I'm thinking of just shaving mine so I don't have to straighten it, and only 1/3 joking

So close Plonko! It probably wouldn't be much of a break for you then!

Madam is currently refusing to sleep. We had 8-8.30 but nothing since, she's a pest. We've tried everything short of just leaving her. Currently feeding her lying down in the hope he drops off on the bed & we can transfer. We've also changed into just nappy & sleeping bag in case that's contributing.

DS is just in a nappy tonight. Still over 27 degrees in our bedroom and he's red and flustered. They say whatever you'd be comfy in plus a layer - I'm about ready to peel a layer of skin off just to cool down! He's definitely not going to be cold, and I'm far more worried about overheating. He's always hot, very sweaty, and I had to peel him out of his rocker earlier - the back of his hair was sodden the poor love. Smelled all vinegary and yuck!

Put him in his gym in just a nappy earlier and he passed out - he's never fallen asleep in there before so I know he feels comfy naked

His last stubborn nubbin of belly button crust fell off today too.

The tennis, my god, how bloody brilliant?! And how annoying were those screamers that kept piping up before he'd actually won...

I would happily have mil to stay but she wouldn't - who'd make fil's dinner after all? And the sheep need feeding.

Weirdly I can totally block out crying now. That worries me slightly... Obviously I never leave him to cry but when OH is on duty I don't find it disturbing.

Should we be giving water in this heat by the way? DS is not overly keen on feeds today, more sticking out his tongue round the side of the teat and grinning, then howling if I take it away. Still pissing like a racehorse though so can't be dehydrated.

DS not hungry as much as I'd expect either. Keep offering top up - rejected - and bonus boob, also generally rejected. Think nappies still ok, bit hard to tell as stuck in active fit til real nappies arrive tomorrow (er, later today) and they absorb more than the newborn he was in before....

22.8 in the bedroom. He's in new mesh sided travel cot, vest and lightest sleeping bag. Feels warm but still ok. I have ordered a blooming expensive muslin bag from amazon on my last day of free delivery which should be here tomorrow as the week is given hot and therefore little chance to cool down.

Also expecting a Sophie the Giraffe to give my knuckles his fists a break from what is definitely chewing rather than just sucking now.

Spent the day putting stuff in those vacuum storage bags to go into loft - they are rather satisfying aren't they?

Next kit day Tuesday. Would be happier if I felt he was taking bottles better at the moment, just hoping with me not here he'll behave for his dad.

pud I got a sophie yesterday, thinking it was a miracle cure for the chewing of soft, unsatisfying things. However, she wasn't massively impressed by it and just ended up crying at it because she didn't really know what to do with it. i'll give it another go today.
DD slept like a log (short sleeved Body suit, cotton swaddle bag, fan on, 25 degrees in room) and I think it's simply down to DH returning home. She must have missed him! I missed him too but after 4 days of finding everything just as I left it, i'm back to having it all strewn wherever he feels like leaving it. Grrrrr - his favourite is taking the nicely hung hand towel, drying his hands and then leaving it on the side in a crumpled heap. Hence my house always looks in a bit of a state.