Dec 2011: Running around after our Cybermidgets...

[Aethelfleda]

Roll up, roll up, it's the Dec 11 new thread.
Prepare to be upgraded (if you can catch them!)

Wedding went well paying for it now tho. Feel awful like I'm dragging my lungs behind me :(

Fathers Day morning has been ruined as DH had a massive row and our marriage is on the line :( got banging headache now. Another shit week ahead for me.

Wondering if I need some more steroids tho considering my lungs still feel the same! Not sure.

Oh no queen - really sorry to hear that, I hope you and DH can sort it out today to start the week off better. (((hugs))) for you and a listening ear if you ever want to talk about it. Good to know it is possible to potty train a kid before the age of 2 (amazing Darcie!).

I think I will just keep my beak out for now, keep an eye on DH's attempts and if nothing's doing by day 5, gently suggest we wait a while longer.

figgy DS has 250ml whole milk in a bottle at nap time and then again at bedtime. He doesn't always finish all of it though and we do brush teeth twice a day...I know we need to get him off the bottles though. He also has a breastfeed first thing in the morning when he comes in with us, and usually mid-afternoon as well, but not that much, it's more for the cuddles these days than really drinking properly.

Oi wow, new TV! What are you going to watch first? I bet Game of Thrones would look lush on a big TV, we've been watching it on crappy downloads and it looks pretty good even then.

BJR for you - we've had to switch to popper nappies because DS is so keen at undoing anything with velcro. Hope DP and DSS have a good day with lots of attention lavished on each other

Thanks Xiao. I'm sure we will be fine just things have not been right for a while but mainly because we are trying to get to grips with being consistent with Darcie but DH just thinks I'm being controlling and letting Darcie manipulate me :(

Doesn't help as I'm not well with my poxy chest and Sky is teething badly so tiredness and grumpiness all round.

Had Darcie cracked by 2 but she was very ready - I think it's the OCD in her for being clean not something she gets from her mother

Figgy Sky still has to have 16-20oz formula a day purely because of being CMPA which tbh is a pain but needs must and all.

qoc your husband really needs to get with it over darcie u keep ending up in this position and it's unfair on all of you.

Also have tv jealousy and agree about GOT I have to watch it on my iPad through my parents sky go account as we have virgin not sky and do no sky Atlantic.

Went to softplay dh came and got a free fathers day sausage sandwich so he was chuffed DS and I went down slide I was terrified have hurt ribs trying to slow us down he then went down it by himself no fear!!! Typical displays of shoddy parenting on show including parents ignoring their child (Tristan of all things) throwing 2 baby walkers down a slide (I was up on the equipment so no idea how he got them up there) while they sat eating chips and the staff had to tell him off then he was told off by another parent for ramming their child with a sit in car. I shall be helicopter parenting DS at that age he will not be that child!!

Oh and am unhealthily torturing myself over fact I would have been 12wks gone today. How rubbish!!

Figgy I know. We have a parent support group for ASD children and think it will really help put things into perspective for him.

Hi everyone,

Been lurking but not posting!

Queen hope your DH gets on board soon. Definitely agree with you that consistency is the best approach!

Figgy that :( but only natural I think to think of the dates.

I'm not even going to the about potty training until next summer...probably more like September tbh. DM potty trained my brother at 3 and me at 2 and said my brother was much much easier to potty train as he was a year older. I'm finding DS is co-operating with nappy changes at the moment.

DS is now starting to become more affectionate, he will come up for a quick cuddle and then wriggle to get down after a second! Every so often we have a mad kissing thing and he kisses me again and again with a wide open mouth!

Will decide what to do about the nursery if a certain someone gets the job or not....

Driving lessons are going well, need to get my theory test booked ASAP and hopefully pass it!

We've now had 13 viewings in a week and a half...very tiring keeping the flat ready at all times! Good news, we've had an offer, it's 11k lower than the asking price, we've turned it down, but hoping they come back with a higher offer on Monday/Tuesday. Most people make 2/3 offers don't they? Hope so!

I'm making DH braised beef cooked in Guiness for fathers day...smells yummy! Haven't made it before so hoping it tastes good!

Cheung, 13 viewings in a week is fab! Although rather you than me on the constant showhome-ness, hope you've been able to relax.
Fingers crossed on the offer being increased!

((Figgy)), I should be overdue this week (or holding a newborn), mc's are a massive pile of crap..I hope DH is being supportive and lovely (and if you are going to try again, there's a fab few ttc after mc threads over in conception where you can be as bitter & unhealthily obsessed as you want!)
for your brave DS showing you how to slide, shocking sounding parenting. I always thought having kids would make me more forgiving of other parents but it's made me much more judgemental!

Queenie, sorry to hear things are really bad with DH. Is it worth doing something drastic like kicking him out until you get DD1 into a routine/settled so you don't have to put up with his sniping/the aggro whilst you're already stressed?
Hope you're ok being back at work tomorrow.

Milk wise we're doing 3 beakers a day atm (with breakfast, before morning nap & with evening meal) as DS really went off the idea of solids during the summer (assuming summer is over now!).
He tries his doidy cup every now & again.

We've got a potty (I don't like it & don't think we'll use it) & a toilet seat thingy..which he sits on after I've been to get him used to the toilet but I cba to commit to training him before the new DC arrives so it'll just stay a novelty for now.

Hope everyone has a good week!

13 viewings is great. As is an offer! It's normal to go in with a very cheeky offer at first, and then work up from there. £11k under sounds like a very good place to start. - not very cheeky at all.
Milk - he has whole milk on his cereal, usually has a small cup mid- morning, and then 200ml in a bottle at bedtime. I'd stop the bottle, and use a cup, but sometimes it sends him off to sleep. I can't give that up!
New TV. ...I've never bought "tech" in my life. It's obscene. I've just spent the best part of £2k (I know. F-ink-hell) on a picture box. And then bought a £23 table from Ikea to sit it on. Ridiculous.
(But oddly exciting!) never seen Game of Thrones. We tend to watch comedies... I like Not Going Out, and the Ten O'clock thing, 8/10 cats, QI, - we rarely watch films. But now we intend to watch lots of 3D stuff. Ha! I can't see it.
Luckily, at the Home show today, I've found some patio doors that are v v v nice and much cheaper than I was expecting.
All good.
QoC - your relationship tends to yoyo quite dramatically. I don't know what to suggest. Maybe I'll see you at Relate!
I've got to do something. But I really can't be arsed. When I was pg, Half of me thought, right, sort it out. The other half was thinking well, at least I don't have to have sex with him again.
!!!
Now what?
I have to not be selfish. I have to make the effort for BOi's sake, and for DH who would be broken if he could not live with BOi. ...but I can't be arsed.
Need to buck my ideas up!

Sorry for those with DH issues, hope it improves.

13 viewings sounds great but what a nightmare this place is clean for 5 minutes at a time!

Monkey still has 14-20oz a day of formula from a bottle. The 3rd bottle is a bit of a pita because he won't eat as much but at the same time he mostly eats fruit half the week so the formula is the only thing keeping his weight up and the fats he needs cause he's cmpa. He refuses it from anything else anyway, even milk alternatives.

My dad is visiting so went to a Turkish brunch buffet then took monkey to city farm. He had a massive meltdown when we got home and was tugging me while I was cooking his pasta and it splashed and burnt his arm . Cue both of us crying our eyes out for a good 20mins he's ok though, got a little bandage on his arm to keep him from scratching it.

Feel like I should have a beware awful mother sign urg!

Fingers crossed! We're hoping to get an offer at some point for 5k less than the asking price. I think we would settle for a bit less as we really do want to go ahead with this move. It's hard trying to remain logical and business like when it's an emotional thing!

Oi the way I see it, now we're parents we go out less and stay in more so a new sparkly tv is a wise investment!

DH and I have re-watched 24 from series 1-8 and now we are addicted to West Wing! I also got the Peep Show box set for Christmas which I've started watching, it's cringing and gross but spot on!

Janey honestly don't worry, these things happen! If it helps at all I was smiling whilst holding DS today and managed to knock my teeth into his head really hard...almost cried but I rubbed his head fast and went on distract mode! I have been known to put DS in his cot if he's going into meltdown and I'm in the middle of cooking something that needs my attention. I can't think straight when he's like that!

I'm struggling to get DS to drink milk tbh so he usually has some with his cereal, maybe 300mls? And he has a beaker of milk with dinner so maybe 200mls? I make sure he has yoghurt every day and he has cheese quite often. He seems healthy and is growing so I'm hoping he's getting enough dairy.

I think DS is eating too much he's getting podgy again and he has jowls but so does his dad and grandad do maybe it's a family thing he is a dustbin he would eat endlessly if he could. He has started a scrounging from our plates which is bad!!

Cheung definitely good luck with the sale hope it comes through this week.

Oi I love 3d my parents have a 3d tv when I visit I watch it loads the animations are the best so when boi a bit older he will love it too so it's clearly an investment I sympathise on the dh issues we ok at the moment but completely understand the cant be arsed mentality as I totally have that when we not in a good place and knowing it doesn't help makes no difference. No suggestions unfortunately

Thanks cheung, he's constantly injuring himself on something but I feel bloody awful :( he's still awake now but I can't bring myself to be mardy with him nearly 2 hours post bedtime!

Lol figgy! Monkey is like that half of the time where he doesn't stop eating, gets chubbychubs then takes a stretch and goes back to barely eating food + stealing fruit out the fridge. It's no wonder the doctor won't take my concerns about his stomach seriously when he's now over the 99th blooming centile.

Am getting my Bon Jovi fix curtesy of IOW Festival Live streaming

Oi...wrt Relate don't think that would work for us tbh. Hope it does for you.

Figgy I wish Sky would eat lots more and be chubbier. Darcie was like a mini Buddha at this age!

I think right now I'm far from easiest person to live with and DH does try his best. Think it's just me nit picking if I'm honest and he doesn't know whether he's coming or going. :( it will be okay right?

My lungs and shoulders hurt/ache...back to work tomorrow but think I need a further course of steroids..what to do!?!

BOi scrounges food from everyone's plates. He wants to eat non-stop.
As for milk, I don't know how much he's supposed to have. But he loves cheese. I don't do choc or sweet treats. He has fruit or babybels.

oi, telly sounds exciting! Regarding snacks, I have my 1-2-3 theory.
Baby 1: only gets healthy snacks/organic biscuits sweetened with grape juice etc.
Baby 2: gets goodies wheat puffs, fig rolls and malted milks cos that's what baby 1 now has
Baby 3: ah, whatever.... Frazzles, Jammy dodgers and Iceland chocolate cornettos.

I speak as one who was mugged for my Iceland chocolate cornetto this afternoon by a certain one year old

Sorry not to namecheck properly. My brain has melted and DH is away for a few days so am off to bed early to try to get some catchup sleep prior to the probable 6am wakeup I am usually spared....

Ps queenie, back to the GP (or at least ring them to ask for advice/followup)

Aethel...everyone around me esp DH & my mom keep saying to go back & see doc as need further course of steroids and maybe more rest...think I overdone it at the weekend and am paying for it now. feel like I could pick my lungs up off the floor and carry them over my shoulder :( & my shoulders ache now too.

Oi I recommend the following to watch on your new TV:

Prison Break
24
Fringe
Revolution
Game of Thrones

All excellent viewing.

I don't have time for all that! ;)
I tend to avoid things that NEED to be watched consistently. (I think it's a good tactic to try and avoid being glued to one's set and having to be in on x day at x time... - it never fitted in with my work /travel either. However, now we have TiVo and can series link everything... - but we've recorded stuff that we'll never get around to seeing... We'll see.) The Tv arrives on Thursday. And there's a man coming round to talk to me about solar panels... I need to look into it more before he arrives.
Oh I forgot, I POAS yesterday, and am definitely no longer pg.
And now I'm telling myself it's for a reason, - nothing to do with me drinking more than usual, or eating less, but because me and DH aren't meant to be.
What to do? Maybe I give it a year. Maybe try Relate,... But he bugs me. I felt sorry for the Tv salesman, having to listen to DH for so long, and he takes such a long time to get to the point. yawn. Get to the f-ink point! I'm 40. I can still meet someone else. (not that I'd want to get married again.) But probably then wouldn't be able to have another kid, and Boi needs a sibling... If I try and make things work with DH and can bring myself to dtd there's a good chance we'd get pg... But then it'd be even harder on him if we did split up. And I'd really struggle for money then...
What I'd like: DH to say, I don't fancy you anymore. I'll move into the spare room. let's have an open relationship. (ha ha ha!) I'll stick around, but we'll stay out of each other's way a bit. And gradually, I'll get a better job, move out, and we'll all be good friends and live happily ever after.
Jeebs. What to do?
I have to give it some time and try and make it work.
For DH.
But then I think, but I can't live with him for the rest of my life! Why should I give up my life for him?
Argh. and everyone would be so disappointed.
(me me me me me me me ! - sorry!)

Oh oi (((hug))). I'm guessing DH has no idea how you feel? How does BOi's need for a sibling compare to your need to be happy? Could you cope with being unhappy for the rest of your life? Failing that if you want another DC I think you'd need to consider whether you'd cope being a single mum of two. In my experience it gets harder each time, there have definitely been times when our relationship has been pretty strained the last few weeks. Have you contacted relate yet?

figgy hope you're feeling better today, try not to dwell too much.

queen I agree with everyone else its not fair you're left feeling like this so often, especially now as you know what the problem is and you're working on improving the situation. Hope you're taking it easy today.

janey if it makes you feel better I banged DD1s head on the door frame while carrying her the other day. Hope he's ok.

DD1 has 8oz formula in a bottle when she wakes up, and 5oz in a cup at bedtime. We only managed to change bedtime to a cup when she was sick a few weeks ago, two days running after her bedtime bottle then she associated it with being sick and started refusing it. We said we'd potty train next summer, but she hates being dirty and wants changing straight away, we'll see how soon it gets easier with DD2 I guess

Oi have you told DH how you feel? Agree with Seven about the need for giving BOi a sibling over being happy something you need to think about. Being a single parent is hard but I wouldn't have a problem doing it again tbh. Feel like that some of the time anyway!

Seen doc and been signed off till Friday. Exhaustion or flat battery syndrome as he called it.

I made DH cry yesterday when I told him I feel alone and that he has been emotionally detached from me for ages. I know Darcie's behaviour has put a massive strain on our relationship but I've tried my best to help the situation. He needs to learn sometimes she's doing it for attention but sometimes she just can't help it and he needs to remember that. I do things the way I do because its the way that works.

Anyway, I must rest.

Oh oi, huge ((((hug)))) what a rotten load of stuff to have to think about all at once. No magic fairy wands sadly, but I would advise caution with the whole "need a sibling" thing. Every only child will at some point whine that they want a sib. Scientific fact. Every sibling will ALSO at some point whine that they wanted to be an only. So in all honesty it's more do you see yourself as actively wanting to be a (possibly single) mum of two at all costs?

If you and DH do split (which may be more likely if you have the stress of another LO) then you will have to divide your time between BOi and the baby, which would be stressful on top of all the other stress. BOi may even link the split-up with you having the other LO....seriously, if you think breakup is inevitable think extremely carefully before DTD as if it's just the two of you then in the short term you can at least give a lot of time to BOi and yourself as a "team of two".

Sticking-plaster babies (where you "have one last try") are just as fascinating/demanding as any other babe and sadly the two I know of amongst close friends/family didn't alter the relationships in question in a positive way.
It's got to be a horribly tricky/complex question to answer and we're here whatever you decide. Think an upfront discussion with youir DH is important especially if he doesn't get how you're feeling. Good luck xxx

And a large for all who needs them, especially queenie. bum on sofa, dear, for at least 20 minutes and I'm confiscating your CIF for the afternoon I need it cos my place is filthy

Been to Aldi to stock up on supplies and have cheese & tomato pizza baguettes in oven for lunch.

Going to make some Jelly bean popping candy crispy cakes for DH to take to work on weds. I can sit down and do that at least.

Need to Hoover and tidy our room tho. Other than that house is tidy

DH been sending me nice e-mails this morning and arranged for me to have acupuncture and deep tissue massage.