November 2012 - Babies' first holidays: India, Australia, the world is their oyster

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1746351-November-2012-In-denial-about-the-six-month-sleep-regression

Proper log

GT the legs are also a problem for him! He kicks himself awake

I think he will be the quiches longest swaddled baby! Both in length and duration .

Sweet potato is indeed magic.

The Nestlefication of my LO is complete :( DH, buoyed up by the earlier successes of Nestlé has bought cereal that you add to milk, vanilla flavoured. And she loves it.

I'm torn between insisting that she only eats and drinks anything prepared by me, and just going along with it as, after all, she is his baby too, and sometimes I feel like, just like with DD1, I spend my life saying 'no'.

And it's not going to harm her as such, I suppose. Unless it makes her ill in which case I will have legitimate reason to stop it. Ting is he already has a son from his last marriage but one, so has been though this before.

If I had twins, I'd die. End of!

I think I am going to cry. In a good way.

DP's aunt just turned up at the door with not one, but two swaddles .

I can't believe it!!!!

Sometimes, people can be so kind. I am not used to it!

What can I do to say thank you?!!!!

Erm, say 'thank you'

And maybe buy her some flowers for next time you see her?

I said thank you a lot! but we don't see them very often at all!

Couldn't even take O out to see her as he was asleep (she's in a wheelchair and getting in and out the car is a hell of a lot of effort for her. She has a mobility van type thing. Plus she couldn't even come in my house as she can't get up the step in the chair!

I feel very guilty!

dixie thanks for posting that website. Not heard of it before. I need some new nursing tops for when I go on holiday. I've been wearing breastvests which are fine for the cooler weather but not when it's too hot. There are some lovely tops on that site.

vq I have actually been to bridge of Allan, ended up their drunk in some late night club thing after a night out in Edinburgh. Random.

detective glad swaddle gate is solved. Re amazon and next day delivery, they wouldn't deliver on a Sunday anyway would they?

Flowers then for next time.

I ordered Thursday night Dixie and it was supposed to be here today!

Swaddlegate continues. :(

The new swaddles don't swaddle.

It's the Love to Swaddle Up one. Arms by face just ready for twatting purposes does not make a swaddle.

It should keep arms down or across chest surely???!

My alterations have helped anyway. He didn't escape at nap time.

Ah I get ya, sorry I obviously didn't follow swaddlegate properly!

Well done Sophia :)

Eliza I haven't had a period yet and I'm still feeding 3 times a day at least. With DD1 I didn't have one til I stopped completely at 9 months.

Hope you're feeling better JJ I think I have the same as you - my whole face hurts :(

Sorry about the knees Luis is anything helping?

Brockle I got our passports in 7 days back in Feb. Probably take longer now though.

detective N does the sticky out tongue thing too - very cute :)

I've had the worlds most boring day. It's chucking it down here and I struggle to find Goidelic things to do when it's raining. Even soft play hell is out as I can't supervise DD1 well enough when holding N (she can get a bit bolshy). Still, I had a lie in this morning so not all bad!

brockle I paid for O's passport the priority fee as we had a flight to catch at Xmas time but and it came in 8 days.

Sofa ordered, it's a corner one and will be at the flat within 2 weeks so we are staying with my parents till than. Bought lots of other things too and the car was so full. O was a superstar, charming everyone. Tmrw off to paint and she will have a lovely day with grandma.

Lily it sounds like O is settling in really well. You must be so pleased. How are you settling in?

Sorry to keep banging this drum, it must be getting very boring for you all, but I cannot stand the negative impact my in-laws have on my life. MIL was here today which caused P to snap at me twice. I have been running myself ragged to please him lately and make sure he never gets stressed. He got to have a lay in this morning and is having one tomorrow as well even though I am doing the night shift. I can't remember the last time I slept past 5am. It feels like I have to be exhausted and stressed in order for him not to be and this is the only way to stop arguments. It's fucked up. I think I need Luis to give him a few lessons in how to be a better partner.

Chasing sucks how ppl impact your life. Not to same extent. But mil is stressful. But hugs.

We got our passport 4 days later! They must have received, processed and returned on same day. As I sent it Saturday n got it back on Tuesday!
But assume at least two weeks.

detective I would send the swaddle-giver a nice photo of O. With a little letter.

Chasing - nothing new to say and no nuggets of wisdom, I'm afraid.

F is curled up on me asleep, like a dinky newborn again. It's rather lovely actually.

Chasing I'm sure he knows how to be a good partner - but he thinks he can behave how he pleases and still get treated well. And he seems to be right love - the worse he acts, the more scared you are, the more you fall over yourself to make his life easier, hence you're in a negative reinforcement loop - he's being rewarded by you for treating you badly.

Sorry to be blunt but unless Luis is a miracle worker - I don't think its going to be easy to teach him how to respect and care for a partner. A few lessons aren't going to suddenly turn him into the sort of bloke who'll feel remorse about having both sleep ins or stand up for you against his family.

He's undermining your self esteem to make sure you don't dare leave - and also making sure you're too exhausted to see things clearly. I would also bet he'd like to get you pregnant again asap to further cement you to him. Sorry but you seem such a darling and its horrible to think of how you're being treated and your self esteem is only going to get worse xxx

VQ you've just got me drooling at Bridge of Allan properties. OMG what a gorgeous place. Wish we were loaded!

Bloody raspberries!!!

Always blowing raspberries. Eating, drinking, bath, bouncing, rolling.

I got covered in earlier.

Nightmare. He also won't eat off a spoon unless its yogurt. He grabs the food off it and eats it that way. I think well just do finger food from now on!!! Thing is I like to know he's eaten something!!

chasing cross post.

I agree with yw the mans an arse who beats his partner. He will not change. He's shown that.

You have two choices.

YW I know that everything you say is right. I hate what I've become and I'm acting this way because I dont want to give him any reason to get annoyed at me.

I'm sure I'll figure a way out. I find strength from O at the moment and seek solace in my dreams.

GT I lived with my MIL for 6 months and it very much contributed to my depression. You must have the patience of a saint.

pig I will always have at least of one of O's naps with him cuddled on me. I love it.

chasing YW has said it all really. You say MIL made him snap at you. Nope. He saw an opportunity to snap at you knowing you will not hold him responsible. I hate to think of you running yourself completely ragged scared to stop spinning plates. He is turning you into a shell. I think PR has put it best when she spoke about being able to breathe easily. It must feel like he is permanently standing on your chest.

How lovely of your DP's aunty det. I agree that a wee pic of O would be a lovely gift.

Sounds like you and O are settling well lilly. I think all that decorating will be very therapeutic.

P had her first proper food today! The power went out and DH was trying to heat enough water on the gas cooker for us to have a wash so I decided to melt a cube of sweet potato while we were waiting. P got VERY excited when she saw the bowl, grabbed it and tried to eat it by stuffing her face inside. She was very good at opening her mouth for the spoon but struggled to get the stuff off and keep it in her mouth. Her tongue is still firing stuff back out again. She seemed to enjoy it though and was leaning towards the spoon each time. She only had maybe a third of the cube before she got bored. Really pleased with the start though.

chasing no advice here but truly hope you will be able to get out and become a free person. He is a dickhead.

I agree with the collective wisdom of the quiche Chasing. Bad things and awkward situations have been happening for a while now but you'll notice no-one has said maybe you can work things out, or maybe he'll turn over a new leaf, or been able to excuse his behaviour. I realise MN has a tendency to say LTB for all relationship issues but I don't believe this is the case here. If he admitted he was abusing you and was willing to go to therapy then it might be worth another shot but I think you know that will never happen. I understand that at the moment it's easier for you to stay than to leave but it won't always be that way. Unfortunately the statistics show that he likely to physically abuse you again in the future. Even without that you are under substantial emotional abuse plus whatever is wrong with the rest of his family that they seem to be taking out on you. It's unlikely that he is the only abuser in the family, you may find one or both of his parents are abusive as well and as a result the whole family could have an odd dynamic that you are bearing the brunt of. I strongly suggest you have an escape plan in place. Make sure you have financial independence: no joint accounts, if you can get the bills in his name that would be helpful. Make sure you can leave any time. You may never need it but you may find that just knowing you have a plan will help you to cope. Lots of women have been and are still in your position, the MN thread for emotional abuse would be very supportive for you. Remember you have quiche support too, whether for handholding, somewhere to have a moan, advice or just a place to hang out with other stressed out parents! Whatever is happening in RL, we're behind you.

Well put Stunt.

We're all here for you Chasing. It's a difficult situation and you are doing a brilliant job with O.