December 2012: Sunshine, saliva & sleeping more...we hope!

[WeeJo08]

New thread ladies

Regarding working a new job whilst on unpaid mat leave - check your contract regarding second jobs. Unless there's a specific clause it's one of those things that you shouldn't really do but in reality there's nothing they can do about it. You might find that your new employer has to out you on a basic rate tax code as they won't have your p45 which would mean that initially you overpay tax but you would get a rebate in due course.

I'm already part time no one covering me as it's not something anyone will be trained in already....

I really like my manager, she's practically a friend, but my boss says things like 'part time workers don't earn as much as full time workers' when I queried the new girl getting paid what it took me five years to get up too I'm bloody good at my job but he's a wanker. We can survive on dp's wages just won't have any spare money....

That's what I thought re tax.... The company is so small my contract is about four lines, no exaggeration! It says statutory everything and x amount of hours and that's it

Sadly your boss is right although legally on shakey ground. If you were staying I'd advise you to challenge it. If there's no-one covering you and they're surviving then they'll be ok for another month or two if you string it out. As your boss is a dick I would definitely say do whatever protects you and play your cards close to your chest.

Ok, thanks. They've already asked me back once....pretty sure they're expecting me back once my pay stops but nothing's actually been discussed

spotty you most likely already have but worth checking if you'd have to pay your mat pay back if you don't go back. I was surprised how wildly it varied between employers from some friends not having to go back at all to some having to go back for at least a year or risk having to pay it all back.
Can't remember who suggested it but think a picture bf will be nice to keep for memories. I'm clearly not over bf though as I tried again this evening and although she actually latched on this time within a min was very angry & started to whack me whilst trying to latch,cry etc made me quite upset. She's gone through periods of refusing before but managed to get back on track by manually expressing frequently to get supply up. This time feels different though & seems wrong to force her when she's getting so agitated. But know everytime i see someone bf i'm going to feel that awful pang of jelousy that i can't. Had her weighed today & hv suggested spending one day only bf with no formula regardless of how upset she gets (ie just keep putting her to breast) but considering I can't get anything out with even hand expressing now so may have no milk left this seems quite dangerous advice and a recipe for her to get very dehydrated! Would be different if I knew I had some supply left & just needed to increase it.
Sorry I'm rambling now!

I don't know what to suggest ddas. Try posting on the breastfeeding section for advice? If she's latching on you should be a Le to see her swallow if she's getting milk. She's much better at it than you are, so if you have milk she'll get it. [hugs]

ddas not sure where your hv is coming from as that sounds hideous advice to me! If you were really determined you could get your supply back up but tbh I'd be asking if at this stage it's worth all the effort and upset, and whether it wouldn't be a better idea to try to make your peace with it (only you can answer this). You have done absolutely the best you could for your babies and they are thriving as a result - ergo you are a great mummy. I absolutely understand how emotive bfing/not being able to or deciding not to is. Having tried and failed to bf dd1 I have wondered too many times whether I should have done this or that. I try hard to stop beating myself up about it and focus on that she was fed and loved.

ddas I only get SMP so nothing to pay back...

Hmm I wouldn't like to advise as you say you have low supply anyway? I would be tempted to keep putting her on, maybe try and hand express first to try to stimulate a let down.. try doing it when she's not hungry maybe?

Just catching up after an absolutely manic day. I was babysitting my neighbour's 6 month old and very active 2 and half year old from 7.00 am until 5.00 pm. Luckily DS1 was at nursery, and DM came round to help but ladies with three I completely take my hat off to you.

Ddas - I just want to echo what everyone else has said about what a great job you've done bf. I think you need to trust your instincts about whether the time has come to stop. It's bound to be emotional whenever bf ends (think I was cushioned from it with DS1 as I was pg again so knew it was only a temporary pause, I'm expecting it to be much tougher this time) so be kind to yourself.

I'm another non-intentional co-sleeper. DH is pretty much in the spare bed now (not great, but he's a very restless sleeper) and I follow all the other guidelines so I've reasoned that it's got to be safer than me being in sole charge of two young children all day in a completely sleep deprived state.

My goodness I'm grumpy this evening! DH is annoying me just by his presence!

Ddas - oats (i eat porridge for breakfast every day) then take fennel and/or fenugreek tablets for supply. Think it's fenugreek that you have to take enough to make you smell of maple syrup Post on the bf board here (tiktok is awesome!) and contact La Leche League and Breastfeeding Network for your area. Can you spend a day or two in bed doing skin to skin? Offer water from a sippy cup if you're worried about dehydration. It may just (ha!) be a nursing strike. I also found that R will latch off in favour of solid food, are you ready for/started weaning yet?

2blessed I love coconut oil for loads of things as well. I used it in my hair the other day as the ends were really dry and is supposed to be good for stretch marks too. I especially use it for the ones on my boobs since I feel it's best to stay natural since that's where LO eats from.

We seem to have got back into the habit of feeding to sleep not quite sure how that happened since we have been on a sort of rough EASY since around 2 months (kind of by accident). He used to have a cuddle and a dummy then nap in his cot. Now he will scream and thrash and arch if I try to cuddle him and only wants boob (is fine if its not me though) then will fall asleep feeding and be put down already asleep.

Also, kind of tmi, went to the doctors for a smear today and he said "you didn't have stitches after birth did you?" He seemed surprised when I told him that I did so that has reassured me that things are mostly back to normal down there.

Ski I usually feed to sleep, always do at night.

I've leaked everywhere 00:40 and 04:50

Good work whoever stitched you ski!

I always feed to sleep too, unless in the car or pram!!

Dd1 is doing a class performance of Noah's ark today - she's a horse! Cute!

I've had two episiotomies so no mistaking mine

Aww a horse! So cute did you have to make the outfit?

That's lovely WL. I can't wait for school plays, bet you feel so proud. Slightly dreading costumes though - given my level of crafting 'skills' no-one will be quite sure what my boys are meant to be .

3 nights of 4.5 hrs sleep, I feel like a zombie! Lol apparantly I look well either that or my friends are too lovely to tell me I look like shite

DS was awake for the school run in the buggy, I left him strapped in while I made a hot choc and some toast and came back and he was asleep!

Good luck to DD WL

spotty glad to hear DS is finally letting you get some sleep, although leaking everywhere is the downside of more sleep!

Oh dear isthat, that's no fun.
We had our usual 1ish and 4ish feeds, not impressed when DH piped up 'oh is that her first feed' at 4. No love, you just sleep through most of the nighttime antics.
No costume making here - so far her costumes have been low key and all I've had to do is send in the right colour clothes.

I am so ill, i can't even look after H or my dad. DP brought me and H to my nan and grandads last night while he went to work. So H is being looked after by them, as am i. I've got ear ache, sore throat, head ache, blocked nose and all my muscles and joints are aching. I am feeling very sorry for myself and gutted i can't hold/play with H.

Forgot to say that i hope it goes well for you today Stacks

Get well soon hales that sounds nasty.

Get well soon Hales.

I'm now a member of the prang club - managed to knock the bumper on the gate getting out of a ridiculously tight parking spot at nursery. It looks like it should go back easily, but like everything with cars I bet it'll end up being massively expensive. Bang goes 10 years' no claims just as I'm about to renew my car insurance.

Oh no Ispy. Could you see how much it is to fix privately? I had to do what felt like a 30 point turn to park at nursery yesterday (because of other people's useless parking) in full view of all the children and staff. Thank goodness for parking sensors and rear view cameras...

A has his settling sessions booked for next week at nursery, with a proper start the following week.

The staff were lovely, and are really looking forwards to having a young baby in there. Lots more are starting in September, but I think A will be youngest by nearly 6 months! They are getting all the toys out of the cupboards ready.

I nearly cried on the way home though. DD was asking about why we were in the baby room, so I explained that I go back to work in a couple of weeks so they'd both be at nursery then.

She burst into tears and begged me not to go back. It was lovely. And in reality it only makes a difference on Fridays, when they'll be with MIL whereas I have them atm.