November 2012 - Does it seem like half a year?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1730706-November-2012-The-new-quiche-sleepy-dust-crop-sprayer-plane-seems-to-be-working

Lol i'm not good at not stressing det I'm positively rubbish at it in fact! I thought you were supposed to do one veg at a time for 3 days. Found them strong when I tried them but figured that was supposed to work so I gave it a go. I tried baby rice, carrot, sweet potato, normal potato, banana and pear. He wasn't too bad with the fruits but wouldnt entertain the veg. Mind you this was at 17 weeks when I compromised with my mum that no I wouldn't wean him but I would offer tastes. As he seemed so unimpressed I left it until 22 weeks, he started grabbing my food and seemed keen so I started with breakfast (mums advice, said if his tummy hurt I could deal with it in the day/take him doctors if poorly etc instead of night time). I started with rusk on her advice since my tasting idea went down like a sack of shit. He built up to a full rusk in 3 days, seemed to enjoy it. Since then, nearly two weeks, I have given him breakfast every day and he sometimes sits and eats it, sometimes acts like I'm murdering him. I leave it on those days, I don't want to put him off. Started with tea Monday, couple of days he's eaten a few spoons but mostly he clamps shut. He has had Radom puréed cubes chucked together, got inspiration from what was in pouches and have only just remembered my annabel kamel book, twat so for example yesterday was carrot apple and parsnip. Had to mix with normal potato as wont touch just veg. Tried baby rice and he really threw a paddy at that one, mind you I can't mix it, it goes all lumpy like wallpaper paste :/

I didn't know if stopping the food would just put us back to 'I don't want to eat anything', I dont know what I'm doing to be honest. Mum said she thought I could go to two meals quickly because he's older. Me and my siblings all ate 3 meals plus finger food at 4 months, so it's totally different for mum to see me trying something new and tbh it doesn't seem to be going well whereas we all loved food apparently, so I'm not sure I've sold it to her very well :( she's due with number 6 soon and I think she might, just might, wait to 17 weeks but I can't see her waiting past that. Anyway I digress.

See, amongst that messy explanation I have fucked up :/ it's fixable though right?

Oh and he likes gumming cucumber sticks

Kyz what about trying butternut squash, on its own? I've made some purees for F, not that she's had any yet, but that was pretty sweet. He'll get there, and before you know it he'll be a teenager with hollow bloody legs.

Personally brockle I think they can growth spurt at any time.

Number 22 det? I don't get it. I once deleted someone after they made the most horrendous joke about the shootings in Cumbria. Do people forget that they are in the public domain or does FB just make people stupid?

I am a bit tetchy today. I have started to find weekends a bit stressful. DH wants to chill which is fair enough but it just means more for me to do.

Kyz sorry you're feelin so stressed Why not just o with what you want rather than what your mum wants? I know it must be hard but if you're not feeling confident then your mum havin all these opinions, even with the best will in the world, will not help your confidence. It's ok to do things differently. E is not even 26 weeks yet, why not just leave it a bit and start up again when everything is calmer. Or carry on just going tastes rather than full meals for a bit.

bplp we've never done co-sleeping. Well apart from a couple of times after DH got up for work when she was tiny. DH smokes so wouldn't be able to in bed with him.
When she wakes, she feeds and then goes back down ok, it's just the frequency of the waking and the resulting broken sleep that shatters me.
She can go a good 4 or 5 hours during the day without a feed but at night no more than 3 hours and then she feeds for at least 15-30mins. I've tried just shushing her back to sleep but it's the boob that works.

Hey Kyz sorry you are finding it stressful. I know it's hard when you've got your mum offering advice but she will have her own new LO soon and she can do whatever she likes, it's your choice what to do with E. If he likes gumming cucumber sticks that's great. Also he might find it cooling if he is having any teething pain.

The only important thing is that he keeps growing and slowly starts to enjoy food. If that's a mix of purée, finger foods, rusks etc then that's no prob. He will probably take longer to get used to the taste of veg but just keep offering it and he will get there. L definitely prefers his banana and pear, with broccoli etc he sort of screws up his face but keeps going back for more as he is curious (we are doing BLW so I just put little bits of cooked broccoli on his tray). As someone else said soon he'll be a teenager with hollow legs and devouring everything in sight!

kzy don't be stressed. Let him do it in own time.

For the sleep issues we found own room worked and trust me you will hear them!!

Yep YW trained for 2, finished 1 other failed due to slipped discs :( I am not built for a runner but I love it and am hoping to be back running half marathon distance by the autumn as long as body allows. You run don't you?

kyz give yourself a break, and, possibly, kindly ask your mum to do the same. It doesn't matter if he doesn't want much solids yet. You are doing nothing wrong, except, and I really don't want you to take this the wrong way, maybe turning it into a bigger deal than it has to be.

He will eat, and soon. But a spoonful here and there is fine even for the next few months. If he doesn't like something, try something else, and come back to what he refused at first another day.

He might well be a fussy eater, but that's something to worry about later. And a previously treat eater can suddenly become fussy, and vice versa. For now it is tastes, textures, getting used to chewing and swallowing. It's not urgent and it doesn't reflect in any way on you at all. Some babies take to feeding well, others take a bit ore time.

Everything he needs is in his milk. Everything else can be accepted little by little.

Fwiw the only veg I would eat other than chips was peas and raw carrot. Until I was about 14. So that's what I would have at almost every meal. Peas.

Completely behind again - sorry!

Fatima I know what you mean about the sleep blending into awake and making you feel ill. And I also worried about depression as a result of no sleep as I spent many a night in the depths of despair as a result of the frequent wakings ((hugs)). Can your DP do some nights? DP and I are alternating at the moment and it seems to be helping. Formula is helping but I think it's also that when she wakes and he's there she just gets a feed, a nappy change and that's it, whereas with me it's a breast feed and a cuddles to sleep - she needs that from me but not from him? We are hoping we can create it as a habit and then get back to normal a bit.

Both my girls were asleep at the same time earlier! And neither of them on me! I should have been running round doing stuff or just enjoying the silence but instead I sobbed into my coffee. Once I started I could stop. I did manage to pull myself together long enough to a 15 minute throw stuff out session flylady stylee.

*couldn't stop

kyz I agree with what everyone else has said. E isn't even 26 weeks yet and there really is no hurry. If you feel comfortable doing so, then just take it back to basics. Maybe just keep on with the cucumber sticks for a few days and start again from scratch. This might make you feel a bit better, being able to start again with a clean slate.

I am just waiting for my food shop to be delivered, then I am going to give O a cucumber stick to nom on. Hoping it will help his sore gums too.

bplp I did butternut squash but didn't end up trying that one! Perhaps I should, thankyou for reminding me!

I don't get the number 22 reference either

pass sometimes it's hard to chill with a small person, Can dp not help with the extra things you've got to do?

Thanks fatima and jj, I know I need to grow a set and do what I want to do its just I feel so lost and like I couldn't possibly know what I'm doing or make the right choices and mum has so much experience and has helped me with alot of things with e so I feel like I should listen to her for fear of upsetting her if I do something different. My dsis made me worry by telling me if he's not on 3 meals a day by 7 months he'll have gone past the stage where they learn how to chew and swallow so I'll have trouble getting him to eat, so then I felt rushed to get him to eat things.

I wanted to do a mix of blw and purées, mum cannot understand blw and thinks I'll be putting him at risk of choking, and since I'm so panicky about choking I end up avoiding giving him sticks of food. I do give him cucumber but have yet to let him swallow any of it. How daft is that?! I am going on a first aid course on 4th may and I'm hoping this helps. E will be 26 weeks a few days after that so I'm wondering whether to knock it on the head till I've done the course and start fresh.

I just cant shake the comments away about choking, about him not eating well when he's older, that I should've started at 3 months, should give him nice food not puréed veg, need to ramp up the amount he's eating, or he wont learn how, need to sneak the spoon in etc. I don't like to do that, I want him to want to eat it not swallow it because it's suddenly in his mouth.

She keeps saying I can't miss a meal now he's supposed to eat two, because he won't learn to and will stick with his milk, I did say a couple of days ago about giving it a rest at least the evening meal, I might do that or stop altogether till after the course. I'm asked every day about what he's eaten so I don't know how to get around it without offending/upsetting her

I think he's coming down with something ATM, he is clingy which isn't like him and he has slept alot but is tired, keeps coughing then crying and seems quite restless yet nackered. if he isn't well he's best off just on milk anyway isn't he?

Sorry this is so disjointed it's taken me ages to write it

Sorry cross posted I know there's more replies to read, will read ASAP, not being ignorant I promise

kyz I'm certainly no expert, but if E is feeling a bit poorly that's perhaps another reason to have a little break from solids.

Could you show your mum any of the current weaning guidelines? Specifically the one that advises to start at 26 weeks? What does she mean by 'nice foods'?

I also don't like the 'sneak the spoon' in method. Food is supposed to be fun and there is no need to force feed.

Trust your instincts. You are a great mummy and you know what is best for E. Could you tell your mum that you welcome her input on other aspects of raising E but weaning is one thing you would like to do alone?

Oh and kyz I am terrified about giving O a cucumber stick to knaw on today...

kyz it really is none of her business. She has no right to interrogate you every day on what your baby eats or doesn't. And her opinions are outdated. Three months is far too soon to wean, even with the smoothest puree.

And yes, if he is unwell, he'll be happier sticking with what he knows, so milk is fine. You can take as many breaks from weaning as you need.

And you're doing a great job don't let your mum undermine your confidence like this

Had first first night off! Woopie. Changed him at 11pm. Then sis took over fed him n took him to her room. I woke when I heard his crying at 3am. But turned around and went mk to sleep so nice not having to get up, no making milk, no nagging DH to do it.
But I go bk today. So back to looking after my child myself.

The number 22 reference is to a chinese menu. As in, I'll have a number 22 please. Insert whatever number you like. She kept referring to him as 'my little number 22' and '22 is going out with grandma today' etc.

I got it Detective . Well I suppose if anyone was going to it would be me

Me and my half Chinese boy are . on the baby's behalf.

Have just won a baby swing on ebay. Desperate times. I managed to get 2 naps out of her this morning by rocking her for 20mins, and even then they were on me, and didn't last long. Once this current blip is done better be soon I will resume morning naps in her cot, but hope the swing is the answer for afternoon naps. Watch me weep when it fails.

GT that sounds wonderful
Detective could it not be an "in joke" that she has with her family? I've had some odd nicknames over the years which could have caused a face to an outsider.

Casual racism pisses me right off.

O's dad didn't really encounter any racism at school, but he is the youngest of 5 and his siblings were all very popular at school so he was never really going to be a target at school. I do worry for O though and want to make sure I bring him up to know what is and isn't acceptable.

I think his dad is better placed to help him in this respect but I need to find out the best way to handle it.

Yes unfortunately I saw what you meant Det. Hopefully it is some kind of family in-joke although I think still better not shared.

Kyz I'm not going to tell you not to listen to your mum as you obviously have a lot of support from her and that is important to you. The way I explained BLW to my mum was that when weaning was advised early they would have introduced finger foods around 6 months, and as now the advice was to start weaning then, it made sense to go straight for finger foods. I realise that might not quite work for you as she seems to have very set views on weaning. But it sounds like you are doing just fine and should have more confidence, you have looked after E well so far. Just because she has more experience doesn't mean she knows what's right for your baby. I bet there were differences between her children. If he is coming down with something maybe a good 'excuse' to cut back on food and have a think how you want to do it.

Hopefully the first aid course will boost your confidence, and maybe borrow the BLW book or another book from the library so you have all the information you need to make your decisions. It is nerve wracking but it should also be quite fun - for both you and the baby!