November 2012 - Does it seem like half a year?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1730706-November-2012-The-new-quiche-sleepy-dust-crop-sprayer-plane-seems-to-be-working

So the latest thing to hit E is chickenpox. She had a couple of spots when she woke up yesterday morning, DH said that's chickenpox but I was very sceptical as she hadn't been ill at all. I then took DD1 out for the day and left E with DH and by the time I got back there were loads more spots. And they are still appearing, she's covered. But she doesn't appear to be suffering so that's something. Gets it out of the way! msjupiter it does mean that E was probably contagious when we met as the virus is infectious before the spots come up. Sorry. I hope L doesn't get it.

In other news I had a lovely night out last night. Drank much more than intended though, the wine went down very easily! Luckily no hangover today.

Unlucky eliza - but as you say at least it is out the way.

Kirrin - why were you sobbing - just shattered? Hugs. Been there.

Dh has the kids right now - I am taking an hour out :-). First one in a long while - he looked a bit startled. Must make sure it gets a bit more normal...

Oh kirrin what were you sobbing for?

Sorry, didn't have time to reply properly, e really isn't himself. No worries of me offering food for a bit, he went all hysterical on me just now not because of food, just becauseand is fussing with his milk so I'm sticking with milk until he feels right because he might not take much as usual anyway and I know it's more important. He doesn't have a temp, just doesn't seem to know what to do with himself :( just got calpol in him and he's sparko. The first thing mum said was not to bother with food until he's better so perhaps she's not as militant as it feels.

Thanks pikz, I will try to :)

pr I'll be the first to admit i'm going ott with the weaning worries. You wouldn't believe me if I told you i'm trying my best not to . I just can never decide what to do for the best and I end up thinking I've made the wrong choice. When you've my mum in your ear with so much experience and a bunch of kids all weaned in the same way and eat fine and have done from a very early age it's hard or at least it is for me to say actually mum even though that worked time and time again i'm doing it differently even though I'm clueless. She honestly is wonderful and means well, and I know this is only all an issue because I make it such an issue. Thankyou for the advice, I really do appreciate it and I am trying to take it all on board :) I'm not giving anything whilst he's poorly so will use the time hopefully not long bless him to decide what I'm doing and grow a pair and tell my mum and most importantly, chill the fuck out.

chasing I have done, she said we were all fine so she doesn't see what the fuss is for with the 6 months thing. I found papers explaining about gut maturity but they generally agreed on 17 weeks which is why I think she will start offering baby rice/whatever else from then. Going back to basics is a good idea, I think a break from it altogether for a couple of days is just what we need, although i may still offer his sippy cup as he adores it, surely fluids will be good if he's not well. Nice foods is things like biscuits and rusk and yoghurt etc. things children like usually. She doesn't think these are the bulk of a good diet or anything though, just that they're likely to appeal more to him. I hate the sneaky spoon, she did it once just for one spoonful and I said not to because I don't want him to associate food time with something he doesn't enjoy. She does always respect my wishes and didn't argue. Chances are if I told her how I really feel about all of this she'd back off, I'm just keen not to upset her and I'm a wuss

Sounds lovely gt!

det would be nice to think it was meant in an affectionate way, but still not nice!

bplp really hope the swing works!

jj thankyou, I think I'll have a look at a blw book and try to explain to her it's just like giving finger foods but more often than just snacks, think the way she did it was snacks were finger food but meals were spoon fed. It's just if I try and do the wait till 6 months and do alot more finger foods and it ends up that he is really fussy, or he doesn't eat much until late on or worse he has a choking episode, it'll come about that perhaps if I'd listened the above wouldn't have happened. I just want to do right by him :(

I am definitely leaving it a couple of days now, we both need a break and he really isn't himself, he never cries like this :(

eliza glad you enjoyed yourself, hope e doesn't get too poorly with the pox! Its best they get them as youngsters though isn't it or it turns into shingles or something?

Thankyou quiche, for putting up with me, being patient with me and having advice for me, I really do appreciate it and am very grateful for you all biiiig hugs

IME some people just don't know better when it comes to racism and will say the dodgiest things without really understanding that they are offensive. I nearly spewed tea once when someone said, "So you're half-caste then?" to me. All you can do is correct them.

My house looks like a bombsite. I would love to just walk out and come back to it all tidy. DS1 and DS2's bedroom is absolutely appalling. I'm sitting in bed because there's no safe place to go in the house. DH vacuumed the bedroom yesterday and there's white stuff and cat hair all over the carpet already. It's so dispiriting. There's too much clutter though, there's not really any way to get things in order. DH has stuff jammed under the bed, under the desk, in the wardrobe, the loft is full, the shed is full, and he took a load of stuff over to his parents' house for storage. I understand his hoarding, I like to keep stuff that I think might come in handy too but I suspect it's gone too far now. He will not consider decluttering though. J is five months old now and we still haven't found the cot bedding! I wish I could do something about it but it's too big a task for me to tackle on my own.

kyz keep going how you feel best, try and give yourself a break and remember that in a few months weaning will be over and done with as a Big Thing but you will forever be introducingnnews foods and some will be liked and others aren't. I really don.t believe that the way we wean has much impact on fussiness. I think some people are fussy and others aren't, so however you end up doing it don't blame yourself. I can already see that LO is fussier than DD1 ever was. I also remember my paed warning me, when I told her how easy DD1 was for weaning, that many babies are easy to wean but fussiness sets in during the toddler years when they use food to develop independence, ie by suddenly saying no to things they have liked up to now.

What I mean is, don't give youself weaning as a stick to beat yourself with. Because as parents we have so many lf those sticks.

Eliza sorry about the pox, that's unlucky after everything she has already been through. Better now, if it all goes ok, than in a few years when you wouldn't be able to stop her scratching and she would be moaning that she is bored and wants to go out (I remember having the pox at about 6 and being a real pita)

kirrin

Kyz could you blame an over zealous hv giving you a hard time for weaning early? You could borrow mine patronising dragon

Dp had the works at secondary school - spit in his hair, dog shit through the door, lots of fighting etc. Was the 70s though old git so a much different experience for younger people. Not sure how R will be treated with his blue eyes, he just looks olive skinned when out with me although there's no doubt he looks like dp! I've got the blue/green eyes i hoped for (dp and i both have green eyes) now I've got my fingers crossed for dread-worthy hair...

I've built the cot. Wish me luck!

Oh Eliza poor E. I hope she doesn't suffer too much.

Well O has had his first experience of food - gumming a cucumber stick His hand - eye coordination is excellent and he picked it up and put it in his mouth himself. I sat opposite him and ate some myself making lots of 'yummy' noises and smiling like an idiot. He looked a little surprised but got the hang of it very quickly. I am going to give it another go again tomorrow and make it our lunch time routine, along with water from a sippy cup. I plan to make purees next weekend and will probably start weaning in earnest in a few weeks.

Pidj I think it is O's surname that will make him stand out. He has dark brown eyes and hair but doesn't look particularly Chinese yet.

Oh Eliza poor E. Hope she doesn't have it too badly. Has DD1 already had it? E & L weren't really in direct contact or breathing on each other so he may not have caught it although I'll keep an eye on him. Wishing her all the best.

I know just what you mean Kyz, if you try something new/different & it fails you feel like people will be saying told you so. But my family already think I have some funny ideas so I'm trying to have faith in what I want to do. You really are doing a great job for him and you know whatever your DSis says he is unlikely never to learn to chew and swallow because you missed a window!

kirrin what's up? Hugs and sympathy here...

Weaning isn't really happening here. We keep offering spoonfulls but I'm not convinced a huge amount is swallowed.

Had a bumper cooking/baking day as sunshine didnt materialise. Steak pie for supper, chicken noodle soup, wholemal oaty banana muffins and wholemal apple &cinnamon cake for the freezer. I'm stocking up for DH's SAH days or he and DD will eat fish fingers and beans followed by yoghurt and chocolate buttons every bloody day.

I am Oscar-less tonight There is a big family meal for MILs birthday. I am being kind to myself and not going but O has gone. First meal I have missed in 3 years. Will cause some discontent I am sure.

kyz relax. Just tell your mums he's had carrot. He'll eat at some point. Enjoy it. If he has one spoonful then it's progress.

Applause for you, chasing but hope you don't miss O too much.

kyz, I'm not yet at the weaning stage but you're not alone in being a bit overwhelmed by the range of opinions/beliefs out there. Good luck for when you start again.

Picnic in Hyde Park today and C had two firsts - first time wearing sunscreen, and first feel of grass under her feet.

Chasing R doesn't look Jamaican till you see him next to dp! Is it wrong that i hope O has the screaming abdabs all evening and is returned to you by a baffled and humiliated X cunt P?

Waggled a bit of broccoli at R at dinner but he was nonplussed. Deffo think we'll be nearer the 6 months - 4 weeks to go!

I miss him loads . He is still feeling poorly after his jabs poor little sod. I am sure there will be tears as he hates fucking pass-the-baby at the best of times.

kyz I worried hugely about weaning with DD1 - and it turned out fine in the end. Not looking forward to it this time either tbh. But just because your mum had success doing it one way it doesn't mean you have to do it the same way. There are many different ways of doing most things baby related and no one way is the right way. Steer clear of chips and mars bars and I reckon you can't go far wrong

chasing I am very pleased to hear you're skipping the meal tonight :) if it's ale ays stressful then why put yourself through it. If they want you to be there then they'd better start treating you better!

Eliza hugs to E. At least that's one you can cross off the list. We'll all have to deal with it at some point.

det I got the no.22 reference. I think that sadly some people are so in the habit of saying things like that that they've forgotten what they are really saying. I can't think of another reason why someone would be so openly offensive on a public site
On that note, like chasing I think it is my girls surname that will 'give them away' as although they are both pretty dark, they don't look especially Arab (yet) They will potentially have the foreign and the Muslim prejudices to deal with. I hope no one is as casually racist about them :(

Thanks for all the hugs. I lost my mum 18 months ago and I went for the 'head in the sand, fingers in the ears la la la' method of grieving. It doesn't work. A few things have brought it to a head recently but I'll be ok - I just have to work through it :(

They have just brought him home early as he was screaming in the restaurant. He is sobbing . Never letting him leave my side again. Poor poor boy.

I'm actually really fucking angry. At myself mostly, for letting him go out. I knew he wasn't feeling great post-jabs and with teething pain but I didn't want to cause tension by not letting him go. I am an awful mother.

Apparently he started crying when SIL held him and when O's dad tried to take him back, she said 'no, he's got to get used to it' cow. She also fed her 22 week old cream and made him drink tea.

I've just said he isn't to go out without me again.

Chasing - You can't possibly have known he would react that badly though. At least they brought him back instead of trying to "teach" him how to cope

Pennie I also realised today that I would have to learn how to care for a baby in the summer! So far all my worries had been about keeping him warm enough.

Thanks all. DD1 has had it so at least that's the chickenpox over and done with.

chasing that's really shit, poor o. Least he's home with you now.

kyz glad you're feeling a bit better about it all. Food is fun until one, try to make it fun for you too. This should be an exciting time. In a yr or 2 you'll look back at this time and wonder what you were worried about.

Oh chasing - hugs. You poor thing. Who on earth are these horrid people? I am pretty new to this quiche but am piecing things together bit by bit. I hope you are in the process of distancing yourself from them. Poor little O, I bet he's fine now he's with someone reasonable (and lovely).

Nobody has 'got to get used to' spending time with people they don't like - not you, and not your son.

Oh, I need a sunhat too! C was in her cotton smurf cap today as I was a bit concerned she might get too much sun on her head.

((hugs)) chasing You are not an awful mother. You are a great mother, who is trying to give her son a relationship with his family even though they are vile to you. That is selfless and therefore the definition of excellent mother. Like bplp said, at least they did bring him home.