November 2012 - We want rattles and we want them now

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1671393-November-2012-Vent-chat-or-brag

VQ Echoing what everyone else has said, don't let the doctor fob you off. I have found that doctors are far to ready to waft aside any concerns about babies from their mothers, treating us like paranoid, Daily Mail-reading, highly-strung types. Completely the opposite to when we are happy with our babies' feeding and whatnot and the health professionals are freaking out because said babies have lost 11% of their birth weight. You know J best, and you know thay he has been out of sorts since he was a week old. Persist. I also agree with horsey; I am worried about you too. It's probably nothing that a few nights' sleep wouldn't rectify, but severe sleep deprivation can take you to some dark places. Be kind to yourself.

VQ sorry, still catching up so I hope you got more sleep last night. I know why you're doing it but coffee is likely not helping; its unclear why I didn't sleep for years BUT I was bf & my mum drank LOADS of coffee & I was also a forceps birth, so may have had cranial issues. Perhaps try less coffee & see if J sleeps better. It's prob old news so sorry....

Am biting the bullet today and taking the twins out in the car to the nearest proper town. They have been in the car before, but I have never needed to take them out again at the other end, IYSWIM. I have to go to the bank and pay in a cheque, and also finally take my marriage certificate up and get them to change my name (I got married in August!). As Mr Cat will not be accompanying me, this feels like a big deal. It feels like one of the final hurdles to jump to sort of get my independence back a bit and stop feeling like a prisoner. Kind of exciting :)

vq mahoosive hugs - wish we could come and baby watch while you got some z's - you're a mother of 3 - trust your momma instinct - if you think things are not quite right and things should be getting easier not harder then speak to the dr xxx

Regards to bf I couldn't with ds1 and considering he was 5 weeks prem weighing 5lb in scbu with group b strep and v v poorly he is now a towering 13 yr old gorgeous lad, dd1 I bf for about 3/4 weeks but started introducing ff which made life a lot easier so moved completely over - with Dottie she's my last baby and as I'm abandoning her so young to go and pursue my dream bf'ing is purely for my benefit, to selfishly hold on to something only me and her have. Having said that had things not turned a corner around 8 weeks I would probably have gone over to ff as every evening of cluster feeding for hours and the pain was horrible!! You got to do what you got to do!!!

detective where do you prefer to work if it's not labour ward? I've worked on postnatal and midwife led aswell as occasional shifts on del suite and as a MCA I prefer midwife led.

Was up at 6 am showered dressed, fed Dottie, was deicing the car all ready to go to my first kit day on the ward when I get a text from childminder - her and her son have d&v - her husband is registered as her assistant so could have had Dottie but rather than her be exposed to d&v I called in work got back into jamas and back to bed!!! Result lol

Super quick post.

vq the sour smelling sick was a key indicator for us. In the end P herself smelled of acid all the time. It was vile.

Brockle that's the chicco one I got for DD for my dsis to use when she has her as her own one was broken. Which was a 3yo chicco London or whatever style one it is. They seem pretty sturdy for the price.

mm tell him to pack his sodding bags & get out next time, regardless of whether its 'his' house or not. You don't kick a newborn & her mother out of their home because you're 'fed up'. Twat.

Good luck Catbag I'm sure you just need a bit of practice in the logistics of getting your DTs in and out of the car and you'll be an old hand in no time!

I just weighed James (on the bathroom scales so not very accurate) and he is 14lb . DS1 and DS2 were that weight at 24 weeks so I think this one's going to be a bruiser (about time ffs since my dad's 6ft tall). It's nice to have a baby that doesn't have weight concerns for a change. Maybe I should give some of the breastmilk to the older boys seeing as it's doing James so much good! Now that would be freaky, bfing a ten-year-old.

Good luck VQ and MM.

N is dressed in one of his better clothing outfits, it's all blue and I'm hoping not to use the dummy while we a walking around. I'm still not sure wheather to use his multi coloured jumper.

Should I use the pram or carry him in his car seat? I'm nervous and excited all at the same time.

I'm waiting for the dryer to dry my non sicked on outfit that fits.

Evil

so so tired been up with dd since 4 - she slept at 11.30 with snotty nose... I know many of you have already been here but tips please... think she also has phelm on chest seems v happy in herself and still bf well.
do I have to visit doc as a matter of course?

Hugs VQ hopefully some meds will help J, you've both done amazingly well and I think to try something else, be it formula or meds or both, is what the both of you need. It sounds like he's a good baby but with a few things stopping him from being at his best and feeling as settled as he can. You've managed so well on little sleep, I hold my hands up and admit I would've given in lots earlier, you are both stars.

Sorry you had such a shit night's sleep PR

LO decided to sleep in till 7:30, fed and sorted by 8 and asleep again for 8:45! Had intended to get him dressed but never mind!

I would visit doc if I suspected phlegm on chest zcos but that's because we've already had problems with that.

Other advice, saline drops up each nostril. Turn baby on side and squirt up the top nostril, then the same on the other side. Before feeds, not after else she will vomit.

As long as feeding and breathing normally I wouldn't worry though. A humidifier can help too. And the cot, pr wherever she sleeps, should be propped up so he head is above her body - it will help her breathe.

Definitely pram Evil, much more yummy mummy! Car seats are too awkward and heavy to take far.

I can't remember how old your LO is Zcos but I just started James on Olbas Oil for Children at 12 weeks and it has made his nights much better. Before that he was too bunged up to breastfeed and had to have a bottle instead. I figured he was nearly three months and how much damage could a smell do anyway? I put four drops on a handkerchief tied to the side of the cot so he couldn't reach it. I have been using the saline spray religiously as well but haven't had much luck with the snot sucker nasal aspirator. Steam would help too, mum had him in the kitchen with a saucepan of water on the boil which cleared him up a bit. The bath didn't help because the water was too cool for any steam.

VQ I am so sorry you are going through this. I also keep thinking, I thought it was meant to get a bit easier at this stage. I think something like 50% of reflux babies also have CMPI which would be much harder with formula (I suspect L has this). I wish I could go back to ebf but L's weight gain is currently more important. Anyway you could try some formula in order to get sleep but just be aware of this. I would not want thing to get worse for you and I have had about 50% less sleep since the top ups. Which feels brutally unfair as obviously it works well for many babies!

((Hugs)) VQ and all those suffering from bad nights, colds or both.

stunt know the feeling re weight gain. LO weighs the same at 11wks as DD did between 26 & 29wks (I.e she weighed less at 26wo & more than him at 29wo). No wonder my back aches, I've only had 12wks to her used to picking up a 6mo baby!!

I only put DS in "proper" clothes to use them up. He got lots of outfits as presents & I bought some bits to supplement those items in the event of poonamis or vom-athons affecting only half the outfit iyswim. Otherwise he'd be in the dead cute babygros all day every day!!

I think DS gets reflux when I eat pork. Ages after a feed he can bring up stuff & have wind, even in the middle of the night, despite not having fed for a while. But he's a happy puker so no need to worry really. Just avoid pork....

I think my separated tummy muscles are only a finger-width apart now, which I believe is expected after a baby, however, I think they are v weak, hence the aching back. Not quite sure what to do as I don't seem to have time to think, let alone exercise.

mm glad you've talked with your 'd'p & his parents are on your side.

blonder :( for the downside of top-ups. The whole weight gain obsession makes me

Tbh I'm finding it easier feeding DS as he's gaining weight well etc so I feel less pressure on me/my milk. He also has suddenly started being much quicker. But if it wasn't like this, not sure I would have continued with it if DD was losing out.

Chunky this will sound silly but how's your posture? If you stand up straight it will strengthen your back and ab muscles. It hurts at first and is a hard habit to get into, because it hurts, but it does help. Other than that pilates is quite good gentle back and ab strengthening.

I am very thankful for my caring friends on this thread x x x

I am not going to hop to formula as I know it is not a magic answer, but I am prepared to do so if it is better for J. I am cutting down on coffee ( you are right as always chunky ) and will see what the doctor says.

Appt is 2.50pm. Have arranged for mum to have the girls and will write everything down.

I am aware my mood is not good, but am not overly concerned. I feel I am appropriately fucked off and tired. I am not having any harming thoughts and will ask for help if I do. I feel a bit better for the sleep I had last night.

So I say no fuck off to gaviscon. Is ranitadine the first thing to try or the PPIs. DH is on a PPI but that is because of his lifestyle. Js cousins all had reflux and multiple intolerences. I had put that down to my SIL being a Munchausen by proxy psycho. Perhaps they did have it, but she is still a psycho.

Sorry reflux mums, I bet you get fed up of answering questions x

PR not silly. I like to think I have good posture - am a short arse so try to stand up 'tall' plus can't do high heels, so generally wearing "sensible" shoes & trying to keep my pelvis in alignment (it gets twisted easily). Going to look into an exercise class so pilates might be a good option. Don't think it helps slouching slightly feeding fatboy DS.

VQ glad to help I was feeling in a v low place until last wk. DH actually started questioning whether I had pnd rather than admit he was in the wrong but I know it wasn't, although I did take stock for a min or 2 & consider it. It was tiredness, guilt, the pressure of feeling solely responsible for 2 little people & missing being me, plus the expectations I placed on myself to be 'supermum'. Since then I've changed my expectations & DH has upped his game. I am sure you're feelings are proportional in response to the situation but if they become overwhelming, please do seek help. Good luck with the Dr.

Chunky my DH recommended tensing the abdominal muscles as a gentle exercise. Just suck them in as if you were preparing to lift something heavy while maintaining good posture. You can do them at the same time as your pelvic floor exercises.

Hi VQ don't worry I don't mind answering questions - thankfully / unfortunately all of my cousins' and siblings' kids have it so I've had the groundwork done by them and their trailblazing battles with the medical profession. Just get seen asap - my poor nephew was dismissed as colic - for 18 months - my poor sister had the most horrendous nights with him but was dismissed as a paranoid mum. When her daughter arrived 13 weeks early the docs spotted it within a couple of months and took it seriously from the outset.

I wonder if the pained cries are because the protective coating on his throat is only just starting to be damaged - it'll heal - Jonas only started crying in pain with it six weeks in - after I'd been dismissing his coughing, grunting and swallowing noises at night as mucus He doesn't cry with it anymore and I rarely hear him refluxing at night these days - yey! The fact that your J is only starting to feel pain now is encouraging - he might have a mild case.

As for meds ranitidine worked for a week for us then the effect seemed to wear off and we were back to square one. Only omeperazole (either the liquid or the MUPS capsules of it) cuts it in our house - expensive tastes! I doubt you'd get omeperazole first sadly due to the cost they make you try cheaper stuff first. Ranitidine does work v well for some - agree to try it for a week. At the first sign of symptoms returning - head back loudly to the docs. It took tears from me to get omeperazole - feckers. Can you imagine a health condition that left say, grown men, screaming in pain being dealt with by docs with such disbelief and uncaring indifference 'he'll grow out of it' bah....

Who mentioned pork being a trigger for their LO - Jonas was screechy with pain this morning and on Monday night - both times the only common food was pork. Oh gawd I don't want to cut that out too Might have to do another taste test.....

MM1 glad your DP has realised he was a twat. Hope he realises it's Mother's Day soon and he's got some making up to do

VQ sorry you and your DS are having a tough time. LO started on gaviscon (he's FF) and I got ranitidine added in a couple of weeks ago. It's made a HUGE difference. He's still a crap sleeper but the reflux is sooo much better. I would ask for ranitidine and give it a week or so, then ask for omeprazole if it doesn't work. That's the advice YW gave to me!

chunky how do you know about your stomach muscles? I can't feel anything when I press?

It's interesting to read the difference in childcare costs. We have an amazing, ofsted outstanding nursery nearby. The waiting list is over a year long, I had to put DS's name down when I was pregnant! He will be going there 2 days a week and its £81 a week. That includes milk, nappies and 3 meals - they have a cook and use meat from local farms etc. There is another nursery nearby which is only £32 a day but its nowhere near as impressive, facilities not as nice etc. I'm up north (Lancashire).

Tiger I'm a Lancashire lass :)

And if they are pushing you toward gaviscon - refuse unless you're happy to bottle feed as its fecking impossible to get 15ml in before each breast feed without causing oral aversion and massive paddies! It can also cause constipation - which when LO strains can force acid upwards making reflux worse.

Domperidone works by flushing food thru the stomach super quick - it gave Jonas cramps, a squitty arse and left him famished all night - it can work well with gaviscon and for FF babies but doesn't seem to work well if BF.

When you've got the right meds you'll see an improvement literally in 1-2 days and it just keeps improving (unless they have a virus, are teething etc then it can go backwards).

If its linked to food intolerances (and 50% of reflux is CMPI) then sadly no medication will work without eliminating the problem foods from your diet. Trigger foods are all of the nicest things - caffeine, booze, dairy and soy If it's CMPI then 50% will also react to soy as the molecules are a similar size. We're going to try soy on Monday after eliminating it since 16th December. Eliminating foods from your diet will take 4-6 weeks to leave LOs system.

Good luck. Reflux isn't fun but I tell you what its so much easier once you have a diagnosis and are dealing with it. Its ironically helping me lose weight too as I'm not comfort eating anymore...

Ooh PR where are you from? I'm in Bury.

WRT gaviscon, it hasn't made DS constipated but it did make his poos more firm. He still does 2 big stinky ones a day though!

Lancaster :)

I used to go out in Lancaster, best friend went to Uni there (10 years ago).