April 2011 - nearly 2, it's still all about you <disclaimer, I might be having a bad day>

[UnderwaterBasketWeaving]

Thanks to Frak, thread title queen!

Hello everyone. I have been lurking on and off but haven't posted for ages! I keep meaning to then thinking you'll all wonder "who the hell are you". Then I decided that was silly so - Hi!

I have slightly lost track of who everyone is but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. Green - I hear those foam pool noodles under a fitted bed sheet are good at keeping toddlers from falling out of bed. We haven't put Joanna in a bed yet - as far as I'm concerned she can stay in her cot as long as possible! She's so good at going to bed these days - she chooses which

My exciting news is we are finally - FINALLY - moving house (touch wood). It's taken 18 months, 1 abortive sale, 3 abortive purchases and £8.5k in solicitors fees, surveys etc but we have finally exchanged contracts and complete in a fortnight. Living in a 1-bed flat with a 2 year old and my other half running a computer fixing business from the lounge has been so unbelievably stressful I thought I was going to have a nervous breadown at points but it seems like it's hopefully finally over. 3-bed house in Walthamstow, here we come (squee!). My daughter will finally have her own room! I can have my bedroom back - I can WATCH TELLY IN BED AGAIN!! I am unbelievably excited. I have 2 years and 9 months worth of pent up nursery decorating inside of me!!

Congrats to all of those on the baby bus again. I'm getting pretty broody myself, I think we might start thinking about TTC once we're in the new house (no way am I going to incur even the slightest risk of a second baby before we have the keys to a new place in our sweaty grasp). Only slight spanner in the works is we're bidding for a contract at work that was totally my baby, I found the opportunity and developed the team and the bid, and I think we have a good chance of winning it. And if we win it, I want to do it! It's a 3-year contract starting in September. I wouldn't want to wait to TTC until the end of it probably, but I might want to just give myself a year on it or something.

Joanna was 2 on Saturday. We took her and a couple of toddler friends to soft play, then her various grandparents/aunties/uncles came round in the afternoon for a cup of tea and to give her presents. She was giddy as a kipper by the end of the day, but she had a fab time. I managed to make a Finding Nemo cake I was pretty damn proud of - although it took almost 8 hours over two consecutive evenings to do. I was terrified I was going to drop the box on the way to the soft play place!

Anyway, enough wittering from me. More to follow, I'm sure.

Waah £8.5k solicitors fee's Ecuse!!!!!!!!!?? That's crazy! I'm glad you've finally got somewhere to move to though, you've been waiting forever.
I saw your nemo cake on fb too, it looked awesome, well done you!

Fizz I loved B's birthday pic on fb too, he looked very coy and cute! And you're also looking good....maybe a pg glow?

Good luck to those of you doing the bed swap, I think if we were still in our own place we'd be considering it soon too but since we've moved to my parents I don't see the point. R is quite happy in the cot and the baby will be in with us to begin with so I think better just to leave things be for the time being until we get our own place then everyone can start afresh with their own rooms and big beds!

R was 2 last Thursday and thouroughly enjoyed the whole thing! She was ruined as expected but it was worth it for the look on her wee face :) Unfortunately, along with her birthday came the terrible two's - full on raging tantrums we're getting now....lots of fun!! Hope they've settled a bit before September, otherwise I'm up the creek!

Not much else doing, I'm 22+2 now and time is starting to drag. I'm massive as it is and really don't want to get very much bigger but I doubt I'll be so lucky!

Oh bugger, I forgot to congratulate "Nom" on her pregnancy too :)

Congrats to Nom from me too :)

And well done Ecuse for not totally losing the plot with house stuff!!

DD is a queen tantrummer & very bossy too. My Phone Now is her current catchphrase

She loves being out in the garden, especially with her brothers, which is lovely. Got a date through for her intro session for pre-sch, part of me dreading it, the rest knowing she'll love it and i get to start 'moving on' a bit in life. Only a few hours a week but still.

Ello ecuse. Great to hear from you. I too saw the fab cake. Well done. And hurrah re the house that is excellent news.

Yes ilike, we did £100 in next , and bought in primark, M&S, and H&M. THey arent allowed to grow. A is still in 3-6 months clothes bless him, i think he is even smaller than S.

Thanks MrsW but it ain't a pg glow, another -ve this morning. So I am keeping the other test for another time. I've ordered a whole heap of opks from eBay.

Big birthday is tomorrow! B is going to be confused when he is older that birthdays are only one day and not a whole weekend at grandmas then a day with mummy and daddy! Still it means 2 cakes :o

Fingers crossed for the house ecuse! I cannot begin to imagine how tricky life has been in a one bed flat with a 2 yo!

I have my dad on hand to build in a cabin bed/bunks in Bs rooms. He built ours when we were little. He has already started on the spare room at theirs. Maybe I could rent him out to the aprilites! Feed him and give him access to the Internet for his racing :o

We are current,y thinking about whether to move or do the house here. They are building new houses in our village. Would give us a bigger flatter garden and off street parking and a garage. Or we could stay here, landscape the garden to split level, which would. Still be slightly B unfriendly, but less lethal than it is just now. Good thing about the builders is they are doing part exchanges. We need to see prices and plans first I think.

Hurrah for the move, ecuse. That's quite a saga you have there so fingers very, very tightly crossed for you that it all works put this time!

MrsW I'm not looking forward to the feeling massive. So far I don't feel any different but I'm only about 5 weeks I think, so not really expecting too!

JKS I'm sure M will just love preschool and it'll give you some kiddie free time! The bossy catchphrase sounds awfully familiar. I frequently get woken by DS standing next to our bed (we transitioned to a bed a while ago) demanding 'Mummy Phone'.

Update from us: DS is in hospital worth pneumonia, some of you have already seen the thread over in children's health, so catching up is a nice distraction!

Oh god nom. Poked ds. How is he doing? How are you?

Morning,
Hope M is doing better today, Nom. x

Oh no Nom :( poor M. He is in the best place though. Birthday here, dh is currently swearing trying to put together the trampoline! :o

Big hugs, Nom, hope you start to see improvement today. Poor little M.

Happy birthday, Blair!

Hope you're on the mend M, and hope you're holding up ok nom.

Happy birthday B, hope you're having a lovely day

Great news about the house excuse, fingers crossed it all goes well.

I've told dh we only have one move left in our life and that is when we downsize in 30 years time! It's just so stressful, even simple moves are stressful.

Nom that's terrible. Poor you, hope you're bearing up.

I have just had my hair cut. I'm not convinced I like it yet - it's quite short and different - but it's nice and swishy!

Small rant alert, sorry.

Why do I get so wound up with bedtime? Why does it infuriate me so much? Absolutely boiling with rage angry. And why, the fuck, does F think it's so funny? Grrr

Why can't he just lie down and go to sleep? We've had weeks of this 2-hour bedtime nonsense. He'll be bloody up at 4:30 again tomorrow.

As you were...

Oh UBW :( I know the rage you are feeling, I don't have any answers. Only or ?

Honestly, we've already taken so much stuff out of his room (not only will he get everything out to play, he'll also throw stuff down the stairs) he's at severe risk of sleeping on a mattress in a bare room.

I hate myself for getting angry, so I'm angry about being angry. What a joke.

UBW - is he still having a nap? I really sympathise, T can be stubborn about sleeping

Lovely to 'see' you ecuse :) The house situation sounds horrific, fingers tightly crossed for you that it is all plain sailing from here!

Any ideas how we can get him to lie the fuck down and go the fuck to sleep straight away? We do the usual bath, stories, warm milk, snuggle down, tuck in routine. All lovely. Then it goes tits up.

The rapid return doesn't work. I get dizzy from spinning around since he gets straight up behind me as I step away. He hurls stuff over the stairgate, and dismantles his room if we try to ignore him and wait it out. He thinks shouting is hilarious. Doesn't understand "naughty". If I sit with him he plays up and eventually starts climbing on me and kicking me, etc. maybe we should sack it off entirely and let him run around downstairs till the overtired tantrums finally get too much and he gives in and sleeps where he falls? At least I'd be able to work at the table instead of knelt on the landing.

(Btw, I think he's finally asleep now, I'm at my wits end with this now)

Yes, but we've restricted it to 45 mins as early as possible. He goes down for naps beautifully. Making the evenings even more frustrating.

If you didn't take him up to bed, would he just play downstairs while you got on with some work?

We used to have DS1 downstairs with us until quite late until he dropped his nap aged 2.4, otherwise we had a battle royal. He would play and be quite content and then when the eye-rubbing started up one of us would take him up.
Once he dropped his nap he we brought his dinner earlier by an hour and his bedtime by 2.

We do it with T sometimes too. A couple of nights ago he was just wide awake so we had him downstairs with us for an hour, then did another story and a bit more milk and he went down fine.

Sometimes it really just isn't worth having the battle. If he, and you, are going to be happier then do what works. If you are worried that he isn't getting enough sleep overall then could you let him have a longer daytime nap still if he wants it?

Bedtime can wind me up too UBW, you are certainly not alone with that. I get the rage because I see after 7pm as my time and any intrusion on that seriously pisses me off.

What time does F go to bed? Is he overtired? When children are overtired they go hyper so find it hard to switch off even though they are beyond tired.

If you don't think that is the problem, would a bare room with no distractions be such a bad idea?

Have you heard of Dr Tanya Byron? She done the sleep clinic programme on tv recently and years ago she was in a programme called House Of Tiny Tearaways. She is a real advocate of rapid return. I'm not sure she has written any books, but there may be some House of Tiny Tearaways on YouTube? It's often good to see it in action and see how other people approach it.

{{{}}} it's tough, don't beat yourself up about it x

He does go to overtired hyperactive really quickly. Maybe we'll try letting him stay up another hour. It'll be less stressful, surely.

I get in a real quandary, because I need this time to work (evidently ) and need some down time without kids/people, but I've also not seen him all day, so feel like I should be spending quality time with him.

Honestly, we've been trying rapid return (the boring, non-angry kind) with no results at all. He thinks it's a wonderful game. I got a sore back and dizzy. Tanya Byron obviously hasn't dealt with the UBW stubborn gene!

Thanks ILike, Ali and Fizz. I feel like such an awful parent. An awful person. He deserves better.

((UBW)) don't be hard on yourself. Parenting is tough - I cannot even imagine how tough when you work full-time as well. If you weren't a great Mum then you wouldn't be on here asking for help and support. x

You're not an awful parent and person. You're a person trying to do their best by everyone. Please don't be so hard on yourself.

If you have work to do in the evenings then you need a bedime that suits all of you.

How about using the weekends as full on quality time, rather than putting the pressure on yourself to have it everyday? Get F's bedtime licked (even if it means you don't see him for as long as you would like), you can work in the evenings, then the weekend is for all 3 of you.

Agree with ILike & others, you arenot awful.

I clearly remember getting the rage about ds1 & his sleep too. I have (mostly) lost the energy/enthusiasm for rage these days
Dd is easier though.

If his room was empty and there's a gate on his door what would happen if you just, nicely, said goodnight (after usual cuddles story etc) and left him to it?
Go down and do your work maybe with music on to drown out his shouting! And let him get on with it? Maybe doing the CC thing of goin back at 1min, 3mins, 5, 10 whatever works for you?

You have to decide what's comfortable for you /your family.

But if the stubborn gene is there use it yourself!
Decide that this is what's going to happen and that's that.

Maybe!