October 2012: onwards, upwards and rolling over?

[YompingJo]

Is this part 5 already? Where did that time go?

Huffle sorry you're having such a rubbish time. Once I found a routine that worked I stuck with it as far as possible. It gets easier as they get older as the naps are fewer and last longer. When it came to outings, I found he mostly slept, especially under 6 months, so I didn't let it stop me going out. And I never worried about him having too much daytime sleep. It seemed that the more he slept, the better he slept.

Thankfully DS2 is a bit more easy going so we have no routine as it is pretty easy to see when he's tired, bit of boob, and he's away! He is pretty dependant on feeding to sleep but I think it's rare to find a little one who self settles for sleep without boob, dummy, rocking, patting

Stupid phone!
Was just saying they all seem to rely on something to get them off at this age. They are still tiny though and they will get to a stage when they can just be put down at some stage.

Health visitors are nobbers and appear to know nothing.

-runs back to her wine-

PELVIC FLOORS

Don't want to jinx it but wondering if there is a glimmer of hope that the 4 month sleep regression thing may improve. After 2-3 weeks of sleeping for 45 - 90 mins at a time she slept from 9pm to 4am last night, fed and then settled herself to sleep again till 7.30am. Unfortunately she settled herself to sleep because I was busy putting our sheet and duvet cover in the washing machine and changing the bed after she'd drenched it in vomit so had just stuck her backin the cot - but hey, it's a positive! And she settled herself to sleep in her carseat today - brought her in, left her there while I put the shopping away and when I came back she was asleep. So there may be hope. She has also started properly playing with toys - picking them up and mostly chewing them but more interactive than she was before and has a couple of new noises too.
I remain convinced that learning to sleep is another developmental thing and that she will do it when she's able to manage it, not going to worry too much in the meantime.
In other news she has now doubled her birthweight - 6kg today!
Sympathy to all those with nobber hvs, agree completely that if baby obviously well and thriving then don't worry too much about centiles (perhaps different if vanishing off the bottom of the chart but doesn't sound like thwt applies to any of you!)

ps londonmrss has done amazingly with her feeding considering all the heaps of problems and expressing and effort. AMAZING! 1% of mums in the UK ebf to 6 months.

As a medic, I love the autocorrect "mitral".

smileyhappymummy I do hope you've turned the corner, parenting on no sleep is no fucking joke. Agreed there is nothing to worry about, but it's pretty grim. You are my hero for managing to go to work... currently I have occasional panic attacks about going back to work (in AUGUST!) and keep promising boyfriend I will talk to them about going part time, but have lost access to my nhs mail account and all contact details due to having to change passwords every week, etc etc

Congrats on doubling her birthweight!

smiley here's to hoping you have turned a corner. such a shame you didn't get to capitalise on the extra hours sleep but there's always tomorrow :) yay on doubling birth weight!

squashed i think you're right about babies needing something to help them sleep to begin with - whatever works, right?

squid 1%? well hurrah to all of us then! including livvy's heroic cutting out and mix feeding!

london well done on staying on that percentile - you're a true warrior. i know it's been hard but you must feel so awesome that you did all that!

thanks for all the reassurance about hvs. i just still...as much as i try to shrug off the worry, i don't know why he's not gaining a lot. we have no issues with breastfeeding now - he possets fgs so i know he's taking in efficiently. i don't know. it's spoiling it because i love bfing now and it's always the first thing i happily offer. i suppose it's not the end of the world as weaning is but a few months away and even though i hope to still give him breast milk in the evening and morning in addition to solids, i can't help but feel my milk isn't good enough :(

Thank you so much wantan. I have so much to learn on this caper and feel daunted.

Orenishii, I think you're right, if your DC is feeding and growing and producing wet nappies, then don't worry. Hard not to though with hvs putting pressure.

On a happy note, DF is doing the night shift tonight! I am excited about getting a good night's kip but a little nervous about how he'll do. One way to find out.

Right. Must express then bed!

londonlivvy That is tough. Will you have to keep her off all dairy and eggs when she starts eating? I don't know much about lactose intolerance except that it's more common among Asians. Do you have Asian ancestry in your family?

Oreniishi Ninth centile is fine. Some babies are always going to be smaller than others! It just means at least nine babies in every hundred are smaller than yours - hardly a cause for concern.

I don't like to write off all HVs but the one who wanted to see DD drink from an open cup (she's nearly 4) because I was still bfing her - and then wanted to know about my childhood - can fuck off.

Orenishii I'm in exactly the same position as you. DD has dropped two and a half centiles. But is otherwise a happy, responsive, baby. Producing loads of wet nappies. I have absolutely no idea why she isn't putting enough on, and I just feel like you. I don't feel like my milk is good enough but while I don't paticularly enjoy breastfeeding anyway I don't want to start giving her formula because I figure the milks there, its a natural thing and its exactly what she needs. And at the end of the day, formulas expensive. We need to save as much money as possible. The HV just looks at me as if I'm starving her, when I'm clearly not.

So i'm not going to get her weighed. I can't be arsed with the faff. I know theres nothing wrong with her, and if and when there is, then I will see the GP.

Happy sleeping livvy!

I don't know why I do it but every week I watch One Born Every Minute, and have a bit of a cry over my stupid, non starting, baby-wasn't-ready-to-come-out-but-they-forced him labour.

I am popping on to nominate my DH for husband of the week. He has decided I need a break (finally ) and has been in charge ALL DAY, including settling dd off to sleep in the new cot in the nursery (only slept for 20 mins but hey, it's a start), taking her out for a walk in the sling for her next nap and posting a parcel for me and picking up a prescription, and settling her in cot for third nap (another 20 min one, over tired probably, we battled with her for 40 mins trying to resettle her but she won in the end!). And if she wakes tonight then after I have fed her he is going to decamp with her to the nursery so I have a better sleep (she often nearly reawakes every hour after a night feed and the noise of her not quite waking up every hour wakes me up.) I feel lots better. This was the result of a massive talk this morning with me saying that I felt I was doing a lot of this on my own with him just watching. So glad we talked.

So did I take the chance to put my feet up and relax? No, of course not, I spent the day reading lots about baby sleep routines and getting myself into a tizz. Nobber!

Londonmrss, I was trying to find the answer to that exact same question. If I follow a general routine of sleep, eat, activity, repeat then things like baby groups can be fitted in OK but if I aim too have dd asleep 2 hours after she last woke up, then I can't get to groups because I just can't fit that in as well as feeding, travelling to and from the groups, and winding her down for sleep. I think we are very similar in that we want to do it one way and not deviate from that, but I think for my own sanity I am going to have to learn to be more flexible and laid back about it. How I do that, I have no idea!

Mutley, how are you?

I second the heroic nature of loads of you on here for continuing to bf through difficulties. Not that making the decision to stop is any easier. It's all damn hard!

I'm watching OBEM and bricking myself

I was never scared of OBEM or childbirth before having DS.... But I bloody well am now! DH thinks I'm brave/insane for watching it, he can't handle the idea and has gone to bed......

This reminds me, I need to get a coil fitted....

Hello. Lots of posts.......

Oren your boy sounds well fed and healthy. I think you know him best.

Oh I have no idea who else I wanted to respond to,..... Aargh! Tiredness!!

I have been having serious chats with myself all day. I think I am going to consider starting switch to formula. After all this crsp I've berm through I feel so bad even saying it but I think I need to be realistic. Although I am much more comfortable I am not healing and I cannot see expressing becoming easy within a few weeks. For DHs sake we need to have reliable milk! And I am wary of reverse cycling and DS wanting to feed all night and evening. My job is important in that I need a clear head to consider my patients' ocular health and I will need to be awake. I cannot see how I could express enough for days and nights.

Listen, I'm rambling. I have so many pros and cons and none of you want to hear them.

I need advice and dr google Is incredibly vague on this.

How long would it take to wean to bottle? I have 4 weeks. Do I need to make this decision now? Am I at risk of mastitis again? Is it possible for boobs to maintain couple of feeds? Or is that just pointless.

He will take a bottle if room temp formula thankfully. We have tried the odd one recently. I'm quite sure he will transition ok. Not sure about mummy tho.

Oh god. All my pontificating to family members over importance of BF.

If anyone has any good links to share I'd appreciate it. The usual sites aren't seeming to help here.

And I'm still not decided btw..........

orienishi, 'you're milk is not good enough'. wtf?? what a load of bollocks & u know it is. don't doubt yourself. as michael jackson would have said 'that's just ignorance'. londonmrs, am sorry your hv was so unsupportive, too.
we have been struggling on the assisted self settling front. meltdowns have been worse when put in cot last few days, & although we stay with her & shh/pat/head rub, i am losing some confidence in what we r doing, in terms of whether all the crying she does is damaging to her. dp has been fussing about it & wants to think of another option. if only i knew the secret to putting baby on cot with no tears, i'd be a millionaire! the only other way to stop her crying is to put her in her pram and rock her, which is not a longterm solution for nightsleeping, or hold her & while that would stop her crying, i'm not sure she would sleep. i prefer going out so much more than being at home as she just falls asleep in pram, & i can avoid the whole drama of trying to settle her in her cot . she was actually a lot better today, tho. i thought she needed naps after 2 hrs awake, but managed 3 and a half hrs this am at tiny tots playgroup without a meltdown & only had one other nap in the pm. both naps were under half an hr. am wondering if i have been trying to put her down too soon....perhaps the consequence of reading the baby whisperer and being obsessed with ensuring she doesn't get overtired...& sometimes me just wanting a break!
huffle & livvy - u guys r troopers to be planning ur social activities around nap times. i would really struggle doing that, i love getting out of the house.

No links huffle (not all that useful) but it took me 1 week to shift to formula. You don't have to go so slowly as switching one bf to formula every 2 days or whatever they recommend. No constipation issues here.

Cutting night feeds will help dry you up fast. I would express only when boobs were sore to help cut supply, but I appreciate you have mastitis issues to think of!

4 weeks is very very realistic and do-able!

Sorry. Just had amusing memory. V v cross at HV suggesting baby Oren does not like mummy's milk!!!! Idiot!!!!!!! Have you tasted milk peeps?? Is actually lovely and sweet!!

Do u rmbr on antenatal thread how many DPs were fascinated by idea of BM and wanted to taste it?? If my DH even attempted a go on these nips I think I would deck him. Anyone anything to add to this?? Give us all a laugh???

Actually I am just off to land of nod. Assume nothing with this child. 3 hrs ish last night, major improvement on the 1 hr nightmare, but assume nothing!!

Night all!! X

Thanks Zara. A week? That is good to know. I'm wondering how to reduce and when. Sick googling. But if can do within couple weeks might give myself some more time. Or am I just putting off?? DH trying to say the right thing. But there is no right answer!!!

Ta
Xx

Thanks huffle, beccus, livvy, mickey and elpis. I'm just not going to go back, like you mickey. It makes me feel like total shit every single time. I'm bloody sick of the whole lot of them - from the pregnancy to the labour to this.

Huffle there is no easy answer but I know a woman who made the transition from breast to formula - she just started giving her baby a bottle in addition to a breast feed so say - if she offered both breasts before, she swapped one breast for a bottle. Then she transitioned down to just morning and night breast feeds, and then cut out morning and then finally it was all formula. Took about two weeks, I think. Could you try expressing to get him used to the bottle?

beccus no advice about self settling, i struggle with it myself. Just..my weapons are a hot water bottle, a dummy, lots of ssssshing, a white noise app and placing a firm but gentle hand on his chest. Oh and VAST amounts of patience even though i am freaking out inside. Hugs - it's really hard. Perhaps some swimming would tire him out?

Great news yomping

orenishii at 'your baby doesn't like your milk' biggest load of crap I've heard all week! Can you change GP? That one doesn't sound the most supportive for a new mum understatement of the year!! Glad you are enjoying the BF and want to keep going despite all the so called support people trying to put you off!

livvy that totally sucks, and would wipe out just about everything other than veggies from my diet, so you are a hero for giving it a go! I've also heard that hypoallergenic formula is foul but at least it should help DDs gut issues!And hope you managed to enjoy your sleep too

huffle the sleep lady at our baby class also said not to worry about sleep props in babies, do whatever you have to do to get them to sleep as it is the thing that makes the biggest difference to your life at the moment! I wish i could still feed DD to sleep, she decided it didn't do it for her any longer and is such a PITA when we go out as I never know i we'll get a nap. Before we could sit in the car, feed and nap! Ewan is still working for us, or helps her relax anyway I think. Maybe he has a time limit before they build immunity to his power

Poor DD looks like at the moment,1st tooth has broken properly out, 2nd will be out tomorrow I think, useless mummy didn't have any calpol either so she's grumpy as! Am rather scared for my boobs as she has a pretty shallow latch at the best of times and I can feel the teeth little razors rasping away already.

People with older DCs, what did you do for naps with them when they were sort of 6m + you're out and about? Did they sleep in the car seat/buggy? Trying to work out how we'll cope in future, although the less naps we have to worry about the easier things should be I hope!

I have a friend who is always having boyfriend trouble. I have dealt with these troubles on a monthly basis for about 2 years and have always been very supportive, but tried to gently highlight the fact that her bloke is a total nobber and she should dump him. Needless to say, she never takes this advice but always comes back for more advice. She's one of those friends who is just draining and never gives anything back. She's just texted to say please can I call her because she's having a crisis. She is my friend, but aibu to tell her to nob off and call someone who doesn't have a baby?

huffle no helpful links sorry, but one of the ladies in my baby group just went back to work and is feeding morning and night, with bottles during the day. So def is worth a try, and might be kinder to your poor boobs too?

Londonmrs YANBU

Ignore her text and reply in the morning saying sorry you didn't see her text, you were busy with baby!

She sounds like a PITA

Smiley yay for sleep breakthrough! That sounds promising so fingers crossed!

Oren what Elpis said - babies are different sizes. I swear the people who actually go on about bloody centiles don't even seem to know what they mean!

Huffle the kellymom website has really good info on weaning, including tips about using sudafed to dry up milk etc. Also lots of tips for just easing down gradually. You've done amazingly - I can tell you for sure if I'd had your catalogue of agonies the bean would have been on formula long ago! Longer term I'd like to do what smile's colleague did - morning and night feeds only.

Lay awake from 01:00-05:30 last night with scratchy bastarding throat. Bean slept blissfully whilst I lay trying not to cough Taking no chances tonight. Have just swallowed some Night Nurse and heading to bed! x

first of all... I feel fab. I went to bed at nine and got up at 630 to make sure I was ready when she woke this morning. sleep. Lovely sleep. I woke up when she did but ignored it and went back. hoping df will have a greater appreciation of how hard it is.

on which note, agree entirely that you cannot express enough for all the days and all the nights without having a blasted machine attached to you all the time! It is entirely possible to do two bf a day and the rest ff. boobs are amazing at adapting. my sister suggested replacing one feed a week with formula which gives boobs time to adapt. I would suggest this is especially important for you. incidentally you are amazing for having made it this far.

right. off to enjoy my daughter.