October 2012: onwards, upwards and rolling over?

[YompingJo]

Is this part 5 already? Where did that time go?

[Zara1984]

Londonmrs if it helps DS cried on and off pretty much all day yesterday, as I posted!! And he's quite a grizzly pops today.

Fuck, I'm an emotional mess this morning. After watching that silly documentary last night, all over the news today is that it's 20 years since James Bulger was killed. And it's making me cry!! Having a baby makes you tearful and paranoid. When I first qualified as a lawyer I worked as a junior
(on the defence) on a horrific child abuse case involving the death of a toddler (sadly far too common in New Zealand), had to review lots of graphic images taken by the police. It did not stir one tear out of me (was very interesting to work on, in fact). Now the mere mention of a child abuse case sets me off...

[Zara1984]

And London you are NOT an awful person. It is NOT POSSIBLE to stay sweet and calm and serene when your child is being a pain for hours on end. I had lunch yesterday with a friend and because DS was grizzling all day I held him up on my chest/shoulder (facing rearwards) to jiggle/soothe him and said "well, if you're going to whine, then I don't want to look at you!". Friend was and I was like "yeah, do you want him?"

[Zara1984]

Boring product review: Also now I'm back I'm using Lidl nappies (called Toujours) and they are THE BUSINESS, nobbers. Lovely and soft and comfortable, very absorbant, no leaks and cheap as chips. They have the Mumsnet Best 2012 logo on them so of course I had to buy them!!

[squidkid]

Hours I slept last night - 1
Hours Jess slept last night - 11
She was quiet as a mouse, too
That's just fucking stupid
I feel guilty for being such a fucking insomniac when so many of you would kill for a sleeping baby!!
I'm better than I was - was regularly (and unsafely...?) going to work on just a couple hours sleep. It was about 5 or 6 bad nights a week. Now it's only 1 or 2. I think breastfeeding is sedative. Not sleeping makes me very low and tearful and panicky. I've had problems this since my mate died in 2007.

I haven't done a workout , I haven't washed, and I'm supposed to be going to a baby group. uggggh

[Zara1984]

Squid

Try get a nap when you get home from baby group, ok?

I feel like shit today too, so tired!

[smileyhappymummy]

Well, we had a few nights of good sleep after the hourly waking for feeds but the last two nights have been hideous again - in a different way, now she wakes for a feed at 1am (having settled nicely around 7.30pm), feeds and then screams till around 4.30am when she feeds again and then settles till 8ish. She sounds like she has tummy ache / needs a burp but just won't settle - tried rocking, dummies, white noise, feeding, leaving in cot, winding in various positions - none of it makes a scrap of difference. Seems uncomfortable and grumpy after feeds in the day too. And the endless puking hasn't stopped. Sigh. Next week I am going back to do 2 full days at work (afternoons only so far). This feels utterly unachievable today - will need to get up at 6 to feed her, leave for work by 7.30, feel panicky just thinking about it. Oh well, hopefully will be better by then, will get better at some point - just the not sleeping is so hard.
Well, that's enough sbout me. Nappies - we are using Aldi ones too, good value though sometimes seem a bit loose and leaky round the waist.
Having a baby definitely makes me tearful and paranoid. Whenever dh goes out with both girls (not talking big excursions just to sainsburys!) I get worried snd start thinking that if they had an accident that would be my whole precious family wiped out. And watching baby turtles get eaten on the Africa documentary the other day also reduced me to tears.
Big hug for squid - lack of sleep for any reason Is awful so don't feel guilty.

[Orenishii]

First day of baby biotics. First day of online shop in a bid to reign in food budget. First day of setting up consultancy - have thought up a name! That's something at least.

First day of trying to get my act together.

Had a hilarious dream last night where I was shopping with FiL and I'd chucked some prunes in the basket. He frowned and said "Oh no, not those ones, they're not paleo. Have these ones." Which I then snatched from him and grouched "Alright then, god!!!" Hahaha.

Zara I saw those nappies but couldn't get the massive pack because of external stairs, buggy and DS. Will be going back today though - are they really good? Clocked the MN advert on them.

Totally concur on the feeling so emotional. I watched the Black Mirror episode last night and just sobbed, thinking about DH dying. GOD.

Smiley and London those night wakings sound so tough :( You're both doing the very best you can do, and that's all anyone - including your baby! - can ask.

Squid try and get some sleep, petal. Insomnia is a bitch, but I'm sure you know that. have you tried any calming "sleepy" teas? I know that sounds like a spurious suggestion but even if, in the middle of the day, they make you calm and drowsy and DD is sleeping too, you'd benefit from a nap.

[Zara1984]

Oren all I'll say is that DS slept from 6pm to 6am without waking last night, the first time he wore the Lidl nappies!! Ok probably a concidence, but that was the only variable... He is 7.5kg plus and I got the size 4 (red ones). The size 3 seem ridiculously small and a big size range - 4-8kg.

[Elpis]

olivess Glad your DH is home. Was the reunion joyful? DH is in NY but back tonight, happily.

squid Very frustrating. Have you tried a difficult book? I find Wittgenstein useful, or Moby Dick. Btw, has the black babygro arrived yet?

I felt very guilty about leaving DD to play downstairs yesterday while I kipped for 90 minutes, but I am on day 17 of a cold. Tried to make up for it with a big supper of homemade chicken kebabs and banana split.

smiley It's so tough. Can you do the morning feed lying down in bed? Do you have to get DD1 off to school, too?

[londonlivvy]

Squid, have you tried yoga nidra? It's a spoken relaxation thing and I find it v helpful when I can't sleep. Even if I don't actually fall asleep (which I frequently do) I feel more refreshed afterwards. The one I have is by swami janakananda. Sorry if this is irritating hippy tosh for anyone!

Smiley that sounds incredibly hard. Hopefully it is just a phase.

Loving the nappy recommendations. I had been buying pampers from amazon as seemed to be the cheapest way but hadn't thought about lidl.

Elpis I hope your cold goes soon. Have you tried echinacea?

Orenishii, well dne you on all your getting your act together stuff.

October, my baby is much much closer to contented now that I am on the restricted diet. She is a baby though, not an angel, so crying does still feature!

Now... As it's valentines day on thurs, my mission tomorrow is to make a card from dd to DF. I figure that two footprints will look roughly like a heart, right? I predict much mess!

[crazypaving]

October I ordered a contented baby this time round, having had an incredibly difficult one last time, but this one is only happy when held/interacted with. I can't put him down for even a minute. which means the soundtrack to my life at the moment is generally a baby screaming blue murder. I know so many people with babies who just lie gurgling happily to themselves for ages and I find it really hard not to feel just pissed off about it. I really thought that by 4m he'd be at least able to do 5mins in his bouncy chair or playgym. apparently my babies hate their own company. nobbers.

never had the guts to try cheaper nappy brands, but having said that, ds2 weed around his nappy and onto me yesterday it was on perfectly, how in God's name did he manage it??

ds2 slept past 4.30 last night! woke as usual but actually fed and went back to sleep til 6! please please let this be the start of a new thing of more sleep...

London don't beat yourself up. I think it must be normal when pushed to your limits in that way to have to let off steam somehow. you said yourself you'd never do anything so give yourself a break. I can so relate to having those thoughts.

on phone, can't remember anything else, sorry...wave to all.

[crazypaving]

just seen the October 2013 thread is going strong! made me all nostalgic, seeing that did.

[Cherrychopsticks]

Oren, your DH only having one day off a week must be really hard. Luckily mine usually has 2, so 1 day his, the other mine ours. I like to think that his time with DS is not a complete chore as he doesn't have to do it 24/7 like us.
Congratulations on the consultancy, that's great! I keep forgetting I even have a business, that's how together my shit is! I hope you're feeling better.


@ teabag/poo Crazy and hooray for self-settling!

Mickey, I can't speak for everyone, but please don't feel bad about posting good stuff if you want to. It's not boasting if its the truth, and it's a general board, not just for problems. DS has his "stages" (like last week!) but his default is happy and easy. I suppose I'm guilty of posting more about the bad than the good - must do better!
Would love to go to the Rocky Horror Show I often sing Time Warp to DS as I don't know many songs with actions. he also loves YMCA

London, I felt the same anger last week when DS wasn't sleeping, followed by the guilt. Read another thread somewhere, seems it's quite common so I'm telling myself we can't all be awful people. Just started reading a book my friend gave me - Buddhism for Mothers. Maybe it'll help, I'll let you know.

Sympathies on the insomnia Squid. So frustrating. Sunday I had to get up really early, all the previous week DS had slept badly so I was knackered by Saturday. That night DS slept 8 hours straight, I could not sleep at all. So I cried, and "accidentally" woke DH to share the misery, who patted and shushed me like a baby
Mum used to tell me that resting was better than nothing, so to just relax and not worry about not sleeping. Easier said than done! Oh, and I find tensing all my body then consciously releasing the tension from each part one by one, from toes up to head, really helps me relax.


17 day cold Elpis! Sending virtual chicken soup your way.

[crazypaving]

cherry he's still going on about the teabags!! hope I can get him to drop the association, it's making me feel rather queasy over my morning brew

squid have you tried sleep easy tea? it was recommended at my last hospital for insomniac cfs patients. there really is nothing worse than not being able to sleep when your baby does

[Cherrychopsticks]

Crazy that sounds so fucking hard. Maybe they just love your company, because you're just too damn lovely! Got everything crossed for you that the later sleeping is the start of something great.
Think I might go lurk on the Oct 13 thread....

DH got back from the US on Saturday night, having conveniently been away for whatever stage/week/storm DS was going through. His homecoming was not as I planned - I was taking a "time out" on the sofa, DS was crying in his cot having just been rocked to sleep for the millionth time. He had to go straight through to sort DS, then comfort me before he even took his coat off. He's my hero! I used to take pride in the fact I didn't need a hero.
Anyway, DS is back to his happy, napping self now, waking about once a night for a quick feed. Must try harder to remember this during the rough patches.

We had DS's "100 days" ceremony on Sunday. It's a follow up to the ceremony we had at around 5 months pregnant to ask for a safe, easy birth. We had to go back to give thanks for the safe, easy birth. It's not a big thing, just a quick trip to the shrine, but it's important here. He was covered with a special kimono and decorated with lucky things. Afterwards we had a celebration meal at a restaurant and DS got his own special, symbolic meal - each food had a specific meaning, and DH had to "feed" it to him with meaningful chopsticks. Interesting. So many photos taken, but got away without a professional, studio portrait on the basis that I hate them.

[Cherrychopsticks]

Hahaha Crazy! Don't mess with the sacred tea, DS!

[squidkid]

Thanks so much everyone. Good suggestions too. I do have a yoga nidri cd somewhere and found it good after upsetting days at work. Will dig it out. Am avoiding caffeine too (empirically i don't think it msakes much difference but can't hurt.)
Cherry think I need pat/shush-ing too...

I made myself go out because i think it's always better to go out. Baby sensory this week was "Baby valentine" and there were like hearts and bubbles and confetti and shit. Nearly had hysterics when the woman running it flew cardboard doves overhead whilst playing the titanic theme tune. Still Jess was madly happy. (Maybe my baby has AWFUL TASTE!)

She slept in pushchair all the way there AND back (2.5 hours in total) so I have a rested happy baby on my hands, at least.

[squidkid]

elpis YES! Arrived yesterday. I know you hate it, but thanks so much I love it
I have a hilarious picture of Jess in it I'll put it on facebook

[Londonmrss]

I have a question for Angelico. I think you said recently that you have read French Kids Don't Throw Food. As my husband is French I'm hoping I don't need a book but... there are a lot of kids and babies in his family and it's such a pleasure to see how they will eat absolutely anything- usually the same meal as adults and there's not a spaghetti hoop in sight. I was just wondering if you could find a minute to sum up the book as I really want to pass on the French attitude to my little haricot and I'm struggling to find time to do much reading these days...?

[squidkid]

smiley that is so, so tough - I honestly don't know how you do it and work. My sister is struggling with similar (baby feed/cries all night) - I just wish there was any way I could help
livvy I like the valentines card idea, might steal it. We don't normally do valentines but I think he'd like it
Crazy so much sympathy, didn't put jess down for the first six weeks and it was EXHAUSTING. Really hope your better sleep is a sign of better things
first sterilising bottles - are you sure? I think this is true for ebf but not formula. All the 5month olds at my baby groups are weaning. I am in no rush, myself!!
elpis colds are exhausting when you have childcare to do. hope you feel better soon.
Cherry Interesting to hear about the ceremonies in other countries. What do you do if you've NOT had an easy birth!?

nappies - I am a full convert to cloth nappies now and will bore anyone about them who will listen. I even travel with them. I do use a disposable overnight, whatever's on offer, a pack lasts a few weeks now.
hormones - I cry at the drop of a hat these days and regularly weep walking around town at the thought of me/boyfriend/jess dying and how the others would cope, and boyfriend censors films for me, not like me at all..

I wonder if jess will nap with me if I switch all the lights out.... zzz

[Cherrychopsticks]

I bet the sensory woman would shush/pat you Squid!
Doves...Titanic...

[Elpis]

Tbh I haven't sterilised bottles when I've left expressed milk for DS - but they go straight in the fridge and are drunk within 3h with leftovers frozen. The dishwasher is fine UNLESS you fuck up like I did when DD was 1.5 or thereabouts. An empty-ish bottle had been left behind the sofa by one of the kids and evidently the nanny hasn't spotted it. When I found it I stuck it in the dishwasher and thought that was enough to clean it. It wasn't - DD was sick thirteen times that night. I felt terribly guilty. So if a bottle ever reaches that stage, I'd throw it out, or sterilise it if you really need it.

Nobberish anecdote over