October 2012: onwards, upwards and rolling over?

[YompingJo]

Is this part 5 already? Where did that time go?

huffle I decided I wanted a water birth after an episode of OBEM where a young girl squirted a baby out in 2 small pushes too! I even had the pool filled but MW told me there was no way bubba was going to come out in there so I my dream of water birth fixing everything was smashed . She was totally right too.

Did I say I thought DD was drinking less... well she must have overheard cos I've felt like a saggy cow by 10AM for the past couple of days. I've been sucked so dry my nipples are almost raw again! And to make it even worse DD has been extra spewey today... super-hungry baby and empty boobs made for a grumpy afternoon

Elpis that is so cute!

beccus I think you're totally right re differentiating crying from protesting... I definitely couldn't tell the difference for ages but now if I think she's just having a grizzle I leave her for a while without feeling guilty.

mickey there's another developmental stage around 10 weeks (if you were overdue)... for us caused total lack of ability to go to sleep without proper screaming so maybe you've hit that? Or hopefully just a bad day

Cheesy if LO hates tummy time you don't have to force it, we have done next to none and DD has good neck strength and can do the whole push up thing just fine.

DS slept for seven hours!

He wasn't even in his cot, because he fell asleep during the 10pm feed and I was too soft-hearted to kick him out of the bed. He didn't wake for a guzzle until 5.15am.

What a PERFECT little BOY! etc

huffle, funchum & mickey - baby massage is at the hospital so i had nasty flashbacks to labor, too. have been a couple of times now & it is good to associate with something nicer. huffle, babybeccus yawns, rubs her eyes, gets red eyes, generally looks tired, clingy etc etc, but will not go to sleep of her own accord unless she is in pram/sling. i just put her in the cot, ride out the grizzles, shhh & pat, pray she finds her hands to suck quickly & she will usually go off. think i will try & scrounge some baragins at harvey nics today - am figuring out which tube stations i can take the pram to & which buses are less chockers full of prams

Beccus - have fun at Harvey Nicks. Can you take sling? Much easier on tube IME. I stick baby on floor of changing room if I'm trying anything on. Of course pram might be easier if you're planning to buy frying pan...

OK I read all of the stuff on the Baby Sleep site and all of the stuff on self-settling and am now freaked out! It all assumes you put your baby down in a room to sleep of an evening, which we don't do. Arrrgghhh! Why is this so difficult, why is it causing so much anxiety!

Pre-11pm, of an evening DS sleeps on me or on his lambskin next to me though sometimes we have a few issues of him waking up when I put him down. But i try to be relaxed about it - is this wrong, should I be more militant about it? I read on the SIDS site that pre-six months, babies should sleep in the same room as you anyway, including naps and although I have monitors and the sensor pad, I just don't want to be in another room.

And to add to all that - the sleep site said naps in buggy or sling don't count because it's not restorative if the baby isn't still. So all those times I'm out and about with DS in the sling with him sleeping (like a baby!) don't count apparently. Arrgggghhhhhhhhh!!!

I'm going to start making more of an effort to settle him for naps in the day but i will not put him down in his cot, upstairs, unless i plan to be up there with him. I never, ever wanted to go down that route - it feels like way too much distance and separation. I hate this constant doubt and confusion. I more than that, I hate the insidious Westernised downstream approach that just creeps into my consciousness - I bet babies in tribes just get slung on their mother's back, or put down in a hut and have wonderful sleep and their mother's don't worry about their babies brains or limbs being stunted from not enough quality napping

Caught up now.

Squid sorry to hear about your gran, she reached a good age though. My grandad died last January at age 90 - it was the right time for him as all the people he wanted to speak to had died already.

Elpis re image at dentist and so fat to roll. Erin doesn't roll either (she 15 weeks today) but very determined about sitting up.

Interesting to read everyone's routines. Mine is generally up about 7:30-8:30 depending when Erin wakes, she'll be awake about 1.5 hours then nap for an hour or more (as she is now) - then awake another couple of hours, then nap. She won't nap in her cot through day so I put her on a big cushion on sofa or in pram or car seat if we out. I'm trying to bring bed earlier so now she's in bed asleep (practicing self settling - depends on timing to be successful as if she's overtired she fights it). She is waking once in night to feed but she's easy to settle during night and evenings definitely calmer in last week. Thanks Angelico for link to that website.

Yesterday she nearly fell asleep sitting upright on my mums knee - I could see her eyes getting heavy and head dropping, so that's a first as she used to scream when getting sleepy. So could just move to pram for a nap.

It's amazing how Erin is changing everyday - her head held higher, new noises, being quicker at looking around at everything, sitting up, growing hair, being interested in grabbing books and looking at pictures. She loves looking at herself in mirror and going in bath (makes a huge wet bit on fireside rug by kicking wildly so we all get a bit of a bath).

I have no idea what centile she is - I must go to get her weighed next week as haven't seen HV since she was 6 weeks. More for interest really - she's got rolls of fat and chubby wrists. Looks like a wee Buddha when sitting [bgrin]

oooh, loving the Rabbie Burns emoticons today!! [bsmile] Haggis for dinner, mmm.

Beccus, if you fancied a trip to Stratford Westfield, all DLR stations have step free access and they have a really good parenting room for feeding and changing.

Oren to be honest I don't think you should get bogged down in trying to do naps or whatever on a way which makes you unhappy. you're his mother and you should follow your instincts.

If I'm honest, I have the kind of baby who follows the advice that I've read. BUT that's only because I only remember reading the things which provide me with some confirmation that I'm doing ok. My baby prefers to nap in her basket in the room with me and at bedtime we pop her in her cot in the other room. She sleeps better that way. I try not to bother reading anything that disagrees with this approach because this is what works for me and I have enough self-doubt without anyone else adding to it!
I think maybe that's what we should all do- because I'm sure there are arguments in favour of (and against)every parenting approach and as long as we are following a routine which works for us and our babies as individuals then fuck whichever expert has given you unsolicited advice. You are right in your approach, whatever that may be.

Would you ever follow some standard collection of advice in the rest of your life? Or try and make sure your life was progressing in exactly the same way as everyone else? Just follow your instincts. I feel certain that they will be spot on, no matter how different they are from some advice that someone else is following.

Thanks London that's really good advice. TBH i think that's the crux of it - what if I'm not doing the right thing for DS. That's where the doubt creeps in. You're right about reading types of advice though - I know certain types of information go against our particular ethos so why do I read them?

Orenishii I read various things on www.babycalm.co.uk a blog that I found helpful.

I've not been really following any books or doing 'sleep training' of any kind with Erin. I have really just been doing what feels 'right' for me and what works with Erin (that really just means Erin is not crying and seems happy). recently she 'told' me (by getting terribly grumpy in eves) that she needed to go to bed earlier so I brought bedtime forward from 11pm to starting bedtime from 7-8pm (depending on when her last afternoon nap was). On a good day, the pat shush works fine, otherwise I feed her til she's drunk on milk drowsy and put her in cot after. This is a change in last couple weeks as previously we were rocking to sleep in arms as she was crying - but this has now stopped and evenings are much calmer now she's not overtired.

I didn't want to co sleep (though did a bit at the start) and am aiming to get her to sleep in her cot in the early evening. In the longer term (perhaps by 6 months) I want to get her sleeping in cot (or pram) for day naps as once she's more mobile it won't be safe to let her sleep on cushion on sofa. So I take it as a process and try to work to goals but not get too worried if things aren't working now. From reading everyone's stories it shows just how different babies are so I think just do what seems to suit you and your baby, with a view on what you'd ideally want to happen and try to gently manipulate towards that.

Ooof. Not a great night sleep. Frantic tired crying for hours in the evening, multiple wakenings. Been settled and sleeping on and off since 4am though.

Will not complain, she is easier than many. yawn.

Did a roll for boyfriend this morning so that was nice. He was getting upset that he misses all the good stuff and sees all the tired crying!

Today marks one year since I found out I was pregnant! Getting nostalgic and looking through old photos and emails. Ah, me and boyfriend were so nervous and excited. Can't believe it turned into a real baby who is nearly 4 months old.

On baby calm, it is the blog bit I was reading (various topics) as I seem to have linked to her shop, sorry

Orenishi don't fight what works for you. There are things which are wrong when it comes to kids, like abuse and neglect, and the rest is just opinion.

I think you do better spending time studying your child rather than child theory.. eh, but i am quite baby led I suppose.

Have come across some quite badly neglected kids (not many actually abused ones thank god) and... meh, what difference does timing of naps make when a kid is loved wanted stimulated fed and kept warm? (which reminds me i should buy a rain cover for my pushchair really shouldn't I)

I know, I know, DH just said exactly the same thing - DS will tell us. I don't know. His "bedtime" starts around 7pm it's just that he sleeps downstairs with me until I go up. But he tends to wake up around ten and we have an actual play session - at 10pm! I dunno. It's never going to be put him to bed in his own room, until he starts indicating he wants his own room - I guess around 3 or 4 - but I can't shake this feeling that at some point (soon!) I need to start getting him used to not sleeping on me - you know, like in the older months.

The irony is we're completely baby-led, I just have such self-doubt that I am not reading him right. He sleeps through, he has days when I know he should sleep more and days when he does but generally I'd say we really lucked out with him - somehow we fell into this habit of taking him up with me, he feeds, I cuddle then I lay him down next to me and he drifts off. It's pre-all that that worries me.

squid I was just looking at my mac calendar the other day, looking at how i was tracking fertility last year. It is such a lovely haze of nostalgia. We have the scan photos up on the wall in the hallway and it's mental to think that was DS!

katia it is so amazing to watch the development. It really makes me want to study it, just for fun like, not so much career-wise, because it's so amazing to see the neurons firing and the connections being made. DS understand anticipation now, I'm sure. So I'll build up an action - like going to "bite his belly" and his face is all excitement building, then when I get to his belly, it's peals of laughter!

Second day on a row that Dr had had morning map in cot with minimal during - today I stopped her taking, put her down with swaddling and white noise, posted her for 4 mins and she was asleep! This is a bit of a revelation as my back is becoming totally buggered from carrying her around all day so I need her to be able to sleep in cot sometime.

Orenishii, I think that's bollocks about sleep in sling or pram not counting - and so do you! Trust your instincts.

Yomping I think you're right too, and it's just another example of all this "advice" that doesn't correlate. It also says that babies 3 months and older shouldn't need to eat every two hours. Why? Who says? Is it designed to stop grazing or snacking? So what if your baby does that? It just feels like all these should's and shouldn't's are so arbitrary and all it does is feed anxiety and have us chasing our tails.

Rant over :)

Is anyone else madly hungry?
Breastfeeding generally has made me thirsty not hungry but this past week I've been ravenous...

The fuckers at work have abolished the section I edit. They are not sure what job might be available in August.

I knew it was coming.

Oh shit elpis that sucks I'm so sorry. Are you due back in August?

It's my birthday today. I turn 33.
Gift from DS was sleeping 8pm - 7am
Gift from DH is a 'surprise' party which he told me about last night with guests arriving at ours at Smorglet's bedtime

Orenishii, I agree with Yomping that that can't be right about napping in the pram or where ever, I mean it's the vehicle that's moving, not the baby's body. Perhaps it's not as restorative, but not completely worthless I'm sure.
I don't really read any theory type stuff. All the sleep info that's been posted lately is interesting, but it's fried my brain, I'm going to continue going with the flow.

Cheesey, I do tummy time with DS a couple of times a day, just for a few minutes, when I remember. He gets grumpy with it quickly. And like Huffle, haven't done it for a couple of days because he hasn't been in the mood for anything.

Mickey, hope things are better today. I know what you mean about it feeling worse when you normally have things easy. DS woke several times last night, which he used to do regularly, but because I've become used to him just waking once or not at all, it killed me!

Your DD sounds so sweet Elpis, and I most definitely agree with the Superwoman accolade.

Well, I seem to be getting my smiley, happy baby back (fingers crossed).
Yesterday was crap (no naps whatsoever), last night was super crap (woke to feed 4 times), this morning was a bit crap (grumpy and clingy), but then he randomly put him self to sleep in his cot when I left him there to look at his mobile.
Then we went out to a friend's bridal shower, so he had a couple of good sleeps in the pushchair on the subway. He even fell asleep at the party on the rug for a bit. In between and since we got back he's been all smiles and chat.
Shall wait and see how tonight goes...

Happy birthday Smorgs. What a nice present from DS!

Sorry to here that Elpis, fuckers indeed. Hope they sort something out for you.

Yes Squid! Just this week, I've been starving in the evenings, like I eat my dinner and feel like I could eat the same again straight after. Up til now I hadn't noticed much difference in my appetite.

oh elpis that's so shit. hope something positive can come of it. your dd sounds gorgeous! can I borrow her for my next dentist appointment? ds2 screamed blue murder the whole way through my last one. luckily the dentist wasn't fazed...

ds2 struggles to sleep after 3am feed every night and is awake properly at 5am. needs a fucking nap by 6am unsurprisingly which is when dh and I get up for the day. feeding at midnight and then waking at 3 isn't cool. I'm so fucking tired I'm struggling to keep my cool with ds1 and think on my feet with him. terrible twos require fast thinking for distraction and the patience of a saint. I'm failing on both counts

I suppose the silver lining to this cloud is that ds2 is feeding loads and so hopefully his weight will pick up.

any other over-supply buddies starting to offer both sides yet? ds2 guzzled from both at all his feeds last night. was hoping it'd mean he'd sleep longer - alas not - but his appetite is obviously increasing.

Hey. So many posts.....,

Elpis that Is pure shite about work. Hopefully you are thinking the worst but will not come to.

Regarding all this sleep and routine talk. My child shows very little routine by himself. He does not settle well to sleep in day and as result becomes so unhappy when tired. The only structure we hav is bedtime and it works. So we need help. I believe if you are going well and baby happy and mummy/daddy reading baby well then keep it up!! Don't let any rule book try to change you.

Perhaps it's me? Am I too uptight? Am I reading him badly? Who knows. But we need to sort this so I must gently try harder. I don't doubt he will settle eventually but don't see any harm in gently helping him. Especially as I won't be around all time soon. I have no intention of causing crying fits or feeding outside of what he seems to need. I've probably read too much but if I can pick some gems of info from each maybe I'll get somewhere!

And if any of your lovely babies who nap during day or sleep well at night want to send him telepathic messages, fire away!!

Happy birthday Smorgs!! Surprise!!

Huffle, I've heard that the no cry sleep solution book is meant to be really brilliant. You've already bought a Cluskiboo haven't you? Might be worth giving it a read.

Just got my Cuski boo today bora!! Not read any of that book yet, will certainly look at. Thank you x

huffle, bora is right about the No Cry Sleep Solution book - despite all my anxieties, it is a really good book.