Dec 08 Mums - Happy New Thread, You Beauties!

[beans37]

Come join me....

Hello! Long time... Have only skimmed the last page but after the last time I was here, when Beans thought she was but actually wasn't, it appears she is now well and truly duffed up! Congrats! And how long have you got to go, Arti? Slightly jealous of the pregnancies (I loved being up the duff) and new babies, but definitely not going there...

News here is that 95% of our building work is now done and we have an amazing massive new kitchen which has completely changed the family dynamic and how we use our space. After having had a teeny tiny kitchen, it is amazing that we can cook and talk to guests at the same time, the kids can paint and play while we're in the kitchen - it is brilliant! We're skint and dh's work is drying up somewhat but we can live off Aldi, I suppose...

I return to you lovely ladies to ask for a bit of advice: we are holiday sitting grandma's iPad for a few months while she is off in wifi free Portugal. Dd1 is addicted. At first she wd only have it in the mornings - come into our bedroom, climb into our bed and watch little mermaid and Disney princess related stuff on YouTube (i realise YT isn't ideal bur it's working fine for us at the moment) while we sorted ourselves out. But now her love of it has escalated and she wants it ALL the time. I just wondered what sort of strategies any of you use to allow access to this sort of thing now and again and to restrict its use without huge tantrums?

It goes back to grandma in May, but we were wondering about buying one as it is really useful and can be educational (recommendations for iPad apps most welcome) as long as we can find a way to use it in a sensible way. Thx.

WG - I use iPad for kids in mornings if its v early and if DH has already left for work and i need a shower, with Peppa or some such. For longer car journeys as it slots between the seats and they can watch a film, or for games (recommend Toca Boca hair salon and doctor and most of their stuff) if they're v tired. But try to keep it out of view for majority of day and brook no argument if I don't want them to have it. Was firm with nos from start and it seems to be paying off. If there was a scene then they couldn't have it for the next day etc. is that blackmail??

Glad to hear building work nearly done now and you can enjoy the results. Sounds ideal.

Been to see Mum today. Was really really lovely and we told her about the bump and she was really delighted and TOTALLY surprised, which was gratifying! Hurray! DH been working all morning til we went to Mum's and ever since we got back. Yawn! Left to do bath and bedtime and am so tired! Bumholes? Think he'd rather be doing it than me too!!

WG - we inherited an old iPad from my dad and it is basically for the dcs. They would use it for hours to start with, less so now. Partly just the novelty wearing off. I don't mind it too much, partly because they do play educational apps, partly because they play quite nicely on it together. Engages them much better than tv I reckon. As far as rationing it goes, I'm no expert, but it does help if it's not in sight.

Your kitchen sounds incredible!

Indith - I did have a giggle about your visit, happens to the best of us. Your dd does sound rather wonderful.

BeAns - glad the news went well.

I was feeling rather shamefaced with all the book chat earlier. Pretty much for the first time in my life I don't seem to have the brain space for reading. If feels very strange and a bit disturbing. Did have a nice day today, just me and the dcs at my parents being spoiled and then my dsis and her two. The cousins getting along very well at the mo which is lovely to see.

Beans - so glad to hear that your mum reacted well to your news. How are you feeling after last wesk's nausea.

Invis - how is FiL? Sometimes parenting and working is quite enough for my brain without reading etc. I totally know how that feels.

WG - lovely to see you. I have no good solutions to the iPad issue. We had something similar with our iPhones: the girls loved watching YouTube and playing on various apps. Like you I used it in the mornings and when I needed a break. But it led to tantrums and I find screen time of any sort puts my girls in bad moods so I stopped letting them play except v v rarely. They soon found other ways to amuse themselves while we showered etc, at the moment they are both obsessed with PlayMobile and that sort of play seems to set them up to be in a better mood. I do let them on the lap tops to play "educational" games and but that's only a couple of times a week and with me helping them work out answers etc. I'm sure others have found better ways to incorporate computer time into family life.

Cripes. I am about as tired as I can be. Bring on 2nd trimester! I look about 5 months pregnant so can't wait to stop lying when it's so obvious I'm preggers! Think of me on Friday at my scan!!

I'm trying to read a book by Vita Sackville-West. Given up on page 4. Need trash!

Right, off for spag bol. Yaaaaaawn!

DH won't be home pre midnight all week. Man, that doesn't help either! X

Thanking you all muchly for the iPad answers. I think we're going to have to get mean and attempt to be very limiting. It's so galling when a 2 year old yells "iPad! iPad!" (Although dd1is the worst culprit).

Hope you feel better, beans.

Yo yo yo.

Just popping on as the girls are entertaining each other beautifully. Oh and the iPad is being utilised with my permission!

What a fantastically lovely day. And I've been ironing for most of it. Joy. Never mind. Did half an hour sunning myself in the garden, which was lovely.

If you don't want to read about my boring family issue, please skip and feel free not to respond to the below, I just have to get this off my chest! Sorry!

Have just had THE most frustrating conversation with my sister. The one who's married to an alcoholic. My other sister and I have noticed how wrapped up she is in herself, but this was just so frustrating. She didn't ask ONCE how I was and prattled on about herself and what she's doing and her children are doing and I listened and asked the right questions etc. Then was telling me that her DH is seeing someone and they're working on a plan to reduce his drinking and that he's had a liver function test and are waiting for the results on 18th. All fine and again, was listening and responding, but I hate to say it, have heard it all before and am a bit cynical about it now, but am willing to support her as and when she needs it.

Anyway, I said please could she text or email me when they get the results as it would be good to know (honestly, I'm struggling to care, but thought it would be a nice thing to show concern) and I'll be on holiday then, so won't be able to speak to her. NOT A SINGLE QUESTION ABOUT MY HOLIDAY!!!! And she said, no she won't text or email me because she has far too much on her plate as it is and won't get round to it. I mean, seriously. I feel like I am about to go insane. She doesn't know where we're going, or when or for how long and yet I know EVERYTHING about all her plans ever. And her life. And I feel like we have nothing in common any more, despite my attempts to be a friend to her. And I haven't told her I'm pregnant and unless she asks me anything about myself, I won't be telling her and she'll probably find out when she next sees me, which will probably be in August.

Right, sorry. Rant over. I just am feeling really cross and upset and that despite my efforts at being a good sister, she is a crap one and I give up! We all have shit going on in our lives and admittedly hers is probably a lot worse, but she could at least show some kind of sodding interest in me!!!

Sorry. You are the poor buggers who have to read my drivel, but you're also the poor buggers who are a good support network and help me process my RAGE! At least it's not DH in the firing line this time, eh??? HA!

Hope you're all ok, though.

xx

Beans, easy for me to say but try to ignore it. It isn't worth the hassle. Maybe she was having an off day.

DH was meant to be home Thursday but it'll now be next week. Feeling very fed up of waiting now.

Totally sympathise beans - I had a friend who did this and it drove me insane. I'd have endless calls with her listening to her stuff and she never showed the slightest interest in what happened in my life. Have consciously cut down how much I have to do with her (without making a thing of it) but harder to do with family.

Arti - thanks for asking, fil is doing pretty well all considered, just needs more looking out for.

Kayz - sorry about your dh - hope that doesn't mean his leave is shorter?

Trying to persuade ds to stay in his bed. He's been showing up every night around 2 to "cuddle mummy". It's very sweet and I wouldn't mind too much, but he wriggles. So tired

Beans, sorry this will sound harsh but she will never let him get better as his unfortunate addiction (& arseholeness) is exactly what she wants, she loves the drama and being felt sorry for. You taking an active interest in his results takes the drama & focus away from her. Just nod and make the right concerned noises & leave it at that. How you have a sister like that I don't know.

Kayz, sorry you have to wait, not fair.

Indith, I'm sorry but thats hilarious, what a shame no one dropped a nasty poo, that would have been a hat trick.

WG love the photies of your kitchen on FB. Love how you describe the change to family life.

We have a tablet & mini tablet in the family. The boys love them but seem to be fine with only using them when we are cycling around & they are in the trailer (the trip needs to be longer than 10mins), or on road trips. Someone suggested not having them visible. They also use the tablet to listen to classical music at bedtime. I've heard of people letting their
kids use ipads, games etc until they get bored of them. I have heard it works but I guess you've got to decide now whether to do that as you have to trust she'll get bored eventually. I don't think you could change your mind. Good luck with that.

Vag, I think you're absolutely right, sadly. They're stuck in a sort of downward spiral of addiction; him to booze, her to martyrdom. She also doesn't know who any of my friends are and yet I know who all hers are as she bleats on about them. Sorry sorry. I'll shut up now!

Kayz, I'm sorry about your wait too. V frustrating.

Is Lady anywhere?? And Spot? X

And Rubes??

Nooooooo DS2 has just vommited everywhere. We are due to leave for posho wedding in SA Thursday morning. Inlaws are already not happy about having the children please please can it be he ate some of the raw meatball mixture we were making earlier and it not be a bug.

Beans agree with vag.

Kayz fingers crossed DH gets home soon.

Oh and I have officially become a member of towie. Just had my first ever spray tan in prep for SA. Hope I don't wake up tom looking like David Dickinsons long lost daughter. .

Oh no Jam! How is DS2 now. Wedding in SA sounds divine. How long are you going for?

Beans - is this the same sister who was making insanely selfish plans about Christmas when your dad was ill? If so she sounds awful and very stuck in her self absorbed ways. Bring a confrontational person I'd probably write to her about it but tbh I doubt anything will change her so it may not be worth it. Was she selfish when you were young?

Kayz - sorry to hear of your DH's delay. Are you not planning on meeting him in the Far East anymore?

Two women on the "due in May" thread where I lurk a little have given birth already. V premature I know but it makes it all seem so close. Baby is breech at the mo, still loads of time to turn but the girls were always head down so I'm nervous. I'm also feeling exhausted since my flu virus and I'm finding work a real drain. Roll on May!

Invis, no it shouldn't make his leave shorter but he did ask to go back early. So he's going to ask if he have his full leave instead.

Jam, I hope DS is ok.

Arti, I don't think so. I really want to but we could do with using the money on other stuff. We said we'll see how much the flights are in june. We did say we might have a weekend in Paris if we can find cheap flights.

Fuckety fuck. DS1 pooed in his bed last night (hasnt had an accicdent since he was potty trained) DS2 now awake and also pooing eveywhere. What am I going to do the inlaws are germaphobes. We are due to get on a plane tom. What if we get it. Nightmare am useless at this we never get tummy bugs.

Oh Jam, what an absolute nightmare. Keep disinfecting everything to try to stop it spreading to you, DH or your outlaws. On the bright side stomach bugs tend to be short lived so the boys might be symptom free by tomorrow night. On the downside they will be infectious for 48 hours after the last poonami and that may scare the outlaws. Could you pay a nanny to come and stay with the out laws incase they get ill and need help?

DS1 seems to be fairly ok. He has had the runs only once since waking and is quite chipper. DS2 is on the toilet every 10mins. Poor lamb every time he trumps a little poo comes out. It is making his poor eczema on his bum red raw. Both of them are starving. So am letting them have a little dry toast just so there is something in their tummies. I am disinfecting everything! If needs be I will have to ask my mum to come down tom day and cancel my friend having the boys and hopefully by the time the outlaws arrive in the eve they will be ok.

The inlaws should be happy. Sick kids are easy to look after. Stick them on the couch, kids DVD marathon. Sorted. They don't need to feed them anything other than apple juice & toast. Easy.

Oh I've got this horrendous flu, I got it in LA & because I had to get through the flight with it I took the US equivalent of day nurse and I think that has extended the duration of this thing. I've got the most horrid cough & had so little sleep last night. Feel like crap. Finally both boys are at school today. So I'm gonna try to get some work done.

One question for advice, yet again we had the morning fight with ds2 about going to school. This morning it ended up with me throwing some toys he got in California in the big wheely bin (that was the threat if he didn't start eating his breakfast), and both dh & I yelling at him. How do I make him get moving in the morning, it feels like he does all this annoying stuff to get my back up, he seems to want to get me yelling at him. We end up in a screaming match, he gets something taken off him, he still doesn't do what he should I get physical & pick him up & put him in his room, he crys a lot asks for a cuddle and then it dissipates. But how do I stop it getting to the screaming match.

Aaah if only thats how they would see it Vag.

Have you tried just telling him if he is not ready at whatever time (make sure you have a clock he can read) then you will take him to school as he is so in pjs, without breakfast etc? Or "phoning" the headmistress is a good one too.

Oops ds2 jsut tipped my cup of water everywhere!

Vag agree with Indith. We often have the getting dressed rage. I threaten to take to school in pjs or pants and vest. I do find with DS2 who I think is quite similar to yours. But I often put him in his rm before we even get to the mad red mist. I find it gives us both 5 mins to calm down. Invariably he has forgotten about it or has calmed down enough to get dressed.

I love the idea of sending him to school in his PJs. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to try it out as both boys are off school with my cold. Oh well will try tomorrow or Monday. Where is everyone, I think Jam has left for SA. I wander how the state of poo was when they left.

I have a 10km race this weekend and haven't had a chance to run since last Wednesday due to this cold. Fingers crossed its all gone and I can fully expand my lungs by sunday.

I'm here, just failing to catch up and post properly! 2 of my children are asleep. I am snuggling a borrowed baby while his mum does school choir which includes ds1. watching OBEM from yesterday with my VERY shiny new youview box that I am product testing for MN.

I'm here, but a busy bee. Very social at the moment, which is lovely.

Got scan tomorrow. Am about 12 weeks, I think now, although will know for sure tomorrow. Arti, when's your due date?

Taking DDs for a pre-holiday hair snip in a bit - it's free - brilliant! And buying suntan lotion and mozzie-spray too. So very exciting! Cannot wait for Tuesday - bring it on.

Keen to get scan over with as well as am full of terror that it's going to be bad news. Don't know why. Maybe am expecting the worst because then it won't be sad news and good if nothing wrong. DH taking morning off work, which is good.

Must go to the loo! See you later xx