November 2012 - all the babies have arrived

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1629938-November-2012-come-on-stragglers-were-waiting-for-you

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

Unfortunately long term yes. Stupid tradition. OH doesn't want to leave them as they r elderly and although they wouldn't admit it they would struggle alone. Other day fil had pains in arm, and taken to A&E as previous heart issues. Mil fell twice since I have had LO. I don't mind living with them, I don't mind doing stuff for them or helping them. It's this accusation of "u do nothing all day" that gets me.

Sleep is not in my books today :(

It's like yesterday I ironed her bed sheets. (Who the fuck can b bothered to do that, but she asked me to so I did it not an issue for me) but today she says " you've never done anything for me" nothing? Seriously? In Two years I've done nothing? Sometimes I just think I should write a list of what I do everyday. N show her. But that would never achieve anything.
I can't stop posting my rants.
Unfortunately posting my thought has not helped as I thought it would

gtbaby must be so frustrating. Is it worth having a quiet word with dh? Does he normally side with your mil? One of my friends lived with her mil and she had exactly the same problem. Her and her mil just didnt get on and to be frank didnt like each other very much. The only saving grace is her dh always had her back and would stick up for her. Do you think your dh could potentially give you more support if you spoke to him and tell him how you feel?

pass I think it's perfectly reasonable to get tearful in your situation. Fingers crossed you'll be home later xxx

gt keep posting your rants. It helps get it out of your system and keep the peace at home.
I'm not in your situation, but I have also been told that I sit around all day and its not looking like I'm going to get over that anytime soon!

Gt - you're ironing her bedsheeys when you have a new baby? Seriously? And there for the long hail? You must really love your dh - and be a saint.

gt hope you manage some sleep soon. And hang in there - you sound very kind.

At the risk of being expelled from the thread, DS just slept from 11pm - 5.45am. That does make up for a vile evening of wind/colic, cluster feeding and an argument with DH. Tonight will be crap though as DH goes to hockey and DD always wakes and wants him, having a tantrum when he isnt here.

Have my work Xmas meal today. Was going to take DS but DH says he'll have them both. He thinks they'll nap and he'll play Xbox. Hahaha.

In fairness OH does stick up for me n usually doesn't have a go at me in front of mil. But he snapped at me today and so mil saw it as perfect opp to jump on the bandwagon.

I'm asleep till late morning 10ish most days. By the time I feed LO n get ready it's 12ish before I go down. N they have left to go temple n their socialising etc. I know this is something that annoys them, they think I just sleep (forget that I dont sleep at night n have. 2month old). Then while they r out LO usually has a LOng nap so I do house things/chores. I actually do t mind doing chores. N LO is good so I can fit things in. I just resent the fact I'm still told I do nothing all day.

LO has been asleep 4 hours undisturbed. Wish I could.

GT I think I'd of lost the plot with MIL in your circumstances! I could never live with anyone else. And I like my MIL after she got over me stealing and corrupting her precious son! but I still couldn't live with her!

I leave Oscar in a dirty nappy as long as I feel appropriate. When he starts a feed and poos I generally leave him til almost the end of the feed so could be 20-30 mins before changing as he usually does more poo in his feeds!

Pass hugs to you. You're doing a grand job. I hope you get some sleep tonight and P is home with you in the morning xxx

Totally trivial question. Could be an AIBU except I'd rather not have my head bitten off and fed to piranhas thanks! We haven't had much in the way of gifts since Oscar has been born. But the few things we have been given are clothes. We have about 6 sets of clothes which are totally not my thing, and I'd never put on him. He also has loads of clothes that I bought before he was born. Would I be totally unreasonable to return the gifts to the appropriate shops and get gift vouchers to get clothes I would use further down the line when they would come in useful? Am I just being an ungrateful cow?

hi detective - take the clothes and exchange them - better to get something that will be used

hi gt - wow!! ironed bed sheets - you are amazing in my book and would deserve a cup of tea on the hour for completing that task

Det I am loosing the plot. I seriously think I'm getting depressed. Think I might mk an appointment with the dr. They didn't do a liver function test after the OC problems at the end of my pregnancy. or check if iron levels r bk up at 6week check. Was I meant to ask for them? Does the hospital not send birth notes or anything to gp? Anyway. I forgot. So will go see gp n will mention sleeping issues n feeling like I'm heading straight to pnd.

Also det 100% u r not being U. Ur changing them for clothes for O in a size u need. I think it's sensible. However don't tell gift giver it's a preference thing. Just that it was a size issue. Im sure most gift givers wouldn't b offended anyway as long as u get use of their gift n their money is not wasted.

Teddy has decided that he'll either sleep for only hour-long bursts overnight, or he'll go 3 hours but then punish me by feeding non-stop for the next 3. I. Need. Sleep.

Poor you Dixie!!

pass hope you're sleeping now & she's home soon.

detective YANBU. We have often received clothes with receipts for that very reason...

GT a big empathetic "grrr" on your behalf.

Had a reasonable night. Feeds at 2.15 & 5am, which I did laying down so pretty much slept through. The 2nd feed did result in a massive vom fest requiring a wash, bed & clothes change. Going to have a nap now DS is asleep again & before DD wakes up.

I think is fine to change for vouchers together things in bigger sizes if they ae not your thing.

pass I hope all goes well for you today and ho get to come ok. Years are good, don't worry about having a cry. They are mental if they don't understand it.

Kitkat I don't iron my own. When I first moved in I did as it seemed to be The norm. But found it silly n pointless. OH thought the same, So stopped. I remember mil asking me "are u not going to iron those" as I walked up with my bed clothes, n I said "no, no one sees them. " she laughed at me.

Again I don't mind doing stuff just wanted to b appreciated. Or at least acknowledge that I do it.

TooMany aqueous cream isn't recommended for use on newborns according to Prof Cork of Sheffield University: link to Daily Mail article

Fatima they can smile any time, they just can't smile on purpose until four to six weeks.

Horsey follow on milk is a bit of a con BUT it is better than cows milk in that it has added vitamins whereas cows milk doesn't really have a lot of vitamins. So it can be useful for a baby/toddler that isn't eating well. Also cows milk (and some other foods) should be delayed until after a year in children with eczema or where there is a family history of atopy (asthma, hayfever, eczema).

I left J with my MIL last night as we had a wedding reception to go to (I had a Smirnoff ice naughty mummy and it was LOVELY!) Anyway J was awake all evening until about 1 a.m. and I was wondering if that was because the milk I left was expressed in the morning so would have had caffeine in from my morning cup of tea? Should I be expressing before I drink tea?

Pass I think sometimes you get more stressed out when everything starts to get better because you have coped for so long and then suddenly there's an end in sight. I hope you feel a bit more calm tomorrow.

I leave dirty nappies on for ages GT if it's not bothering him I wait for a convenient opportunity. If there's poo but no wee then it doesn't irritate their bum. And disposables 'wick' the liquid away so they're not soaking in it. Not sure whether reusables do the same. My mum reckons some babies don't mind having a dirty nappy for a bit and some do.

Chunky re the vim fest n bed sheet change. Could u maybe sleep on a towel so if LO voms u change just the towel rather then sheets. N saves u having to iron loads of sheet! O Wait is it just my mil that wastes times ironing bed sheets

It's not like anyone sees them! It's not like a guest could happen to see her bed on the way to the loo. Her door is always locked! ALWAYS.

Stunt my LO doesn't cry with a dirty nappy. Not that I've known of. I think he was crying yesterday for attention, he stopped as soon as I picked him up. Nor have ever known a wet nappy to bother him.

Random question alert. Does ur LO blink? He closes his eyes n opens them, n a lazy cant b bothered manner. Like a slow blink. But not a actually blink.

That's an interesting article stunt, it was the doctor who prescribed aqueous. He also prescribed a steroid cream when she had a patch of exzema on her back but I didn't use that.

Won't be using aqueous this time then!

Thanks all!! Yes I knew they were not allowed to advertise first milk, so follow on is. I just wondered about the introduction of cows milk.

pass I'd have cried. I have no idea what the staff thought of me in hospital. I was always crying unless dh was there, and he was only there for about three hours!! My baby wouldn't feed, if course I was going to cry!! Hugs to you and p. I hope you got some sleep and that she's allowed home.

gt I know it's a culture thing to live with families, but it must be so harder living in two cultures. I have no suggestions but keep ranting here!!

Ds has changed his feed times lol instead of 4 as it's been for a while, it's now 3. I don't mind, it just amuses me that it changes!! When you're hungry you're hungry!!

Oh and wrt dirty nappies, ds screams once he's done a poo and it's not changed.

I was in trouble this morning for leaving a door unlocked. Felt like pointing out he goes up and has s bath, I'm left prepping bottles, sorting the dogs and cats etc and feeding ds. Prevalent could help a bit more rather than assuming I'll check all the doors. He knows I let the dogs in the other door when it's wet and muddy outside. He doesn't then everything gets trashed!!

In the cold light of day I realise I prob should go and get the emergency contraceptive pill this morning. it was worth the embarrassment I will face when I see the pharmacist. A nearly forty year old woman who should know better!

stunt sounds reasonable that it could have been the caffeine.

GT I don't know how you do it. I love my MIL and am lucky to have such a good one but I don't think I could live there indefinitely.

GT sympathies. I can't even live in the same country as my mil!!

We went to bed at 2 last night after our friend left (cracking night, even if I was sipping schloer the whole evening...) and M slept till 6.30! AMAZING sleep!

pass I'hope you've had a good night sleep and feel better this morning, in sure hospital staff see upset mummy's all the time so font worry about it, fingers crossed your LO is home today

tits hope you and your LO are doing okay too

GT your mil situation sounds like a nightmare hope your feeling better this morning and managed done sleep

detective YANBU I would change them too

LO has her first jabs this morning, I'm sctuly dreading it and feel paniky about it already, I'm betting ill cry. Think ill hate DP aswell because before he bust his hands he was ment to hold her but now he can't so I will, I'm a complete needle phobic and it makes me feel sick the thought if holding a restraining my baby while she gets jabbed and cries I've read maybe on here that you can give then callow before to help than??

stunt I didn't know that certain foods should be avoided until after a year if there is a family history of asthma etc. Nobody told me. I merrily gave DD cows milk in cooked food like porridge from 6mths & just avoided salt (did BLW so she just had whatever we had). We have ALL of those things in my family. I had severe asthma (possibly brittle asthma but undiagnosed) but grew out of it, DH has hayfever, my DN has medication-resistant brittle asthma, I had eczema as a child, my cousin's son had severe eczema... Nobody ever said we should avoid certain foods. I avoided peanuts during pg obviously, but even then, the advice has changed.