November 2012 - hurry up to graduate, we're running out of November

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1611078-November-2012-the-birthplosion-thanks-Peaky

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Vq - hugs.

Not sure I could do more than one. I'm quite serious, I can't imagine not being able to give ds anything other than my full attention when I'm with him.

I'm the eldest, I don't feel this way about my upbringing, I just can't imagine having two.

Then again I couldn't imagine one......

I agree that there is no sense in leaving them to cry especially at this age, last night DP and I had this argument discussion.

J had fed solidly on both breasts for over and hour, so we assumed not hungry, he was refusing further attempts of feeding anyway.
He has a fresh nappy and he isn't even slightly sore down there.
He had burped a few times and wasn't straining to poo.

No screams of pain it was just yelling that he does for hours for no apparent reason.

DP decided he was overtired so put him in his rocking chair and sat by him while he yelled.
His reasoning being that he's going to cry what ever we do so he may as well get used to self settling.

After 5 minutes (I was supposed to be sleeping) I came down and picked him up, gave him a cuddle and laid him on my chest and he went to sleep... I stayed there with him for the rest of the early hrs for the morning.
I said to DP, something is upsetting him, we don't know what but something is and it's not fair to leave him, he could be scared for all we know but whatever it is it can't hurt to reassure him and make him feel safe until either he sleeps or calms down or we work out what's wrong with him.

I hate being told I'm spoiling him. dS2 was sadly left to cry sometimes because I was looking after him while caring for DS1 who was in PICU, and he's still quite sensitive and clingy and really lacks confidence and I wonder if that's why.

Anyway J is still asleep so I have excepted I'm likely to be awake all night.

VQ hope J has a good night. How are you doing?

I want another one - I'd get knocked up tomo if not BFing - DS is amazing I want to give him some siblings to muck in with.

Just thought I was going mental. Was listening to the radio in the kitchen and kept hearing penny gringing. Every time I checked on her she was peacefully sleeping. It went on until eventually Eddie Mair said the the person he was interviewing that he could hear a baby. Glad it wasn't just me going bonkers

Awwww tits you're lovely - nicely expressed - sometimes they cry for no obvious reason - showing them love is a good response

Hey everyone! Bit late to the party. DS was born 29 October at 38 werks. As expected my MIL was a complete stress head. I went into hospital when my hind waters went but was only 3cm so sent home. This was met with panic from MIL that I was endangering the baby and that I should lie and tell the hospital I'm in more pain than I was so they'd admit me. My contractions stopped after that (!) Fore waters eventually went and contractions came back and admitted to hospital at 5cm. MIL spent what felt like an age arguing with DH over whether she could come to the hospital while my trousers were getting more and more drenched in the freezing cold. Failed to progress further than 7cm so was eventually induced. Was on my back and legs in stirrups, the one position i didn't want to be in! Told me to push without the gas and air as apparently I couldn't focus with it! Not the birth I'd wanted but we both came through unscathed (well apart from a tear). Forgotten the pain too!

Took 3 days to teach DS to suck, bless him! Breastfeeding is going well now despite a few issues with MIL not giving enough privacy initially. I almost went to formula but DH must have said something as she now knocks and waits for a response!

Found things really hard once DH was back at work, particularly finding time/energy to eat and often went without food until he got home. If we'd lived alone I would have batch cooked but we don't have the freezer space. Didn't really see the point in MIL being off work as she wasn't really any help to us. I remember doing the laundry two weeks post partum, baby in one hand and carrying an airer in the other and no offers to either hold baby/hang laundry, despite being quite short of breath. I managed but just found it odd that she'd insisted on taking time off work to 'help' but didn't actually offer any!

My current aim is to go a bit further afield with DS. Currently only gone as far as the baby weighing clinic and a date to Costa, as well as short walks locally. Might try and venture to work on the bus (parking is awkward there) and show him off!

Is anyone else's baby a messy feeder? Not sure how I'll feed DS in public and keep dry as well as modest, as he dribbles so much milk everywhere!

Hope everyone is enjoying snuggles with their newborns. :-)

Tits, I also get the spoiling thing from my MIL as I hold DS a lot. Apparently he won't grow unless he spends time asleep on his back . But like you I comfort him whenever I feel he needs it!

I can not bear DS crying. The only time I leave him to cry is if I need the loo desperately. Even if it isn't me settling/cuddling him, one of us is til I can get there with the boob (which is pretty much all he cries for yet).

DP went out this afternoon so he had to cry for a minute or 2 while I got ready to feed him but the whole time I was talking to him (calling him from the bathroom!) in fact he did calm a little as I had put him in his cot with the mobile on which seemed to soothe him a little! But it breaks my heart, makes me feel like he feels abandoned. I know it's not true, and it is our hormones that make us feel this way always the bloody hormones! but you just can't help how you feel!

Out of interest what things have your babies shown interest in at what age? We have tried Oscar on his play mat, swinging chair, and vibrating bouncer. He loves the playmat but totally not arsed about the other 2! Glad I didn't spend much on them! (bouncer was my £2 eBay bargain!) I've also played music to him, and rubbed his teddy bear on his face which he loved! He liked looking in the mirror, and loves his feet played with!! He is 11 days today.

The Health Visitor came this afternoon for the initial visit I did have a mad dash round with babe in arms trying to clean up after DP swore he had done a proper job! and she seemed quite pleasant. She was young, probably similar age to me, or not much older. Hopefully we might have a nicer experience of the HV service this time! Oscar has been weighed and is 7lb6 today. He has gone from the 2nd centile at birth to the 25th today.

The only query I had from her visit was I was told feeds should be between 5 and 30 minutes. Regularly feeding longer than 40 minutes is seen as maybe not feeding well. I'd say most feeds are longer than 40 minutes. Probably up to an hour. Sometimes there is stopping and starting, either burping, or him wanting his 3 course meal(!) or changing him. But I'd say he definitely has at least 40 minutes in total at breast. Hmmm....

You cannot spoil a baby - if they're happy they don't cry, if they need something (food, clean bum, cuddle, stimulation etc...) the only way they can ask for it is to cry.

Dottie is my last baby, after Tallulah I knew I wasn't finished where as with this pregnancy/birth I've cherished it and am happy that my baby cooking days are over!! I just have to get over the guilt of going back to work and starting a full time degree in march and putting Dottie in ft childcare at 4mths :(

Oh gosh Detective by that margin Jonas is a bad feeder - he's always on for longer than 40 mins.

The only 'toy' he loves at this age is his precious planet mobile from Ebay... totally transfixes him

When people say 'you'll spoil him ' my response is he's here to be spoiled and cuddled. I'll cuddle my baby while I can!!

End of conversation.

Tits thanks to your posts I realised that my boy too has oral thrush so thank you for posting. I noticed it last night and thought it was milk in his mouth. That explains why latching has suddenly become a nightmare!

I'm picking up the prescription tomorrow (as 3 different chemists didn't have what we needed ).

Right, to catch up from yesterday...

Thought you might like this poem I found when I had DD1, I always think of it when people suggest leaving babies to cry it out or suggest they'll be spoilt by too many hugs

Song for a Fifth Child

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

Oh bloody Nora kissy that had properly set me off. I have just been trying to sing to Penny and couldn't because every song made me cry. What has this tiny bundle done to me?

Lane if you def want to stay with ebfing then DO NOT give a formula top-up. You can up supply/improve quantity of milk/increase weight gain in a number of ways. You can block feed (same boob for a number of feeds or hours depending how you feel - this increases hind milk baby gets), express fore milk off before a feed, feed more regularly, use breast compression, try supplements and diet changes, to name a few. I'm not anti-formula if that's what you choose to do, but its a lazy suggestion by HV etc to improve weight without understanding it actually decreases milk supply & results in the early cessation of BFing.

Rather typically, I get our dinner on the table & junior wants feeding!! I'm sat with him on the tit, with a cushion on my lap, spooning pasta into my gob. Girl's gotta eat!!!

I've tried to get junior weighed 3 times in the last week (he's 23do & last weighed at 12do) and failed - the first time because I was running late & couldn't DP the clinic AND his tongue tie feeding specialist appt, but the other 2, because the clinics were cancelled. I will get on the scales at home later...

Junior seems to sleep lots so hasn't really shown many preferences but he likes his playmat & his big sister!! :)

Still not sure if our family is complete. Head says "all done" heart says "maybe...??".

Thought the whole "you'll spoil them" thing went out of fashion in the 70s. My Mum kept being told that because she BF me, kept me by her bed in the hospital (didn't have me put in the nursery & take a sleeping pill ) and picked me up when I cried. Ahead of her time clearly

Oh and horsey I felt the same - couldn't imagine having the time or head-space for more than one, then suddenly I became really broody. If you only want 1, nothing wrong with that, but you may find your hormones get the better of you. For some (like YW & a couple of my RL friends) can contemplate it straight away, but it took me about 18mths before I wanted that.

Cc - thanks (again!)

Detective - 4 weeks he started showing some interest. This week he's amazing in what he watches etc!! So awake, so alert. It wonderful!! The whole world is fascinating!! He wants fewer cuddles, he wants to sit and watch the world. So make the most if the cuddles!! Most of my time holding him now is so he can look at pretty much everything!!

Lovely poem kissy. Feel a bit guilty that apart from bfing, DS doesn't get much attention as I'm busy trying to "do" either getting out with DD or housework etc. Feel like we've got too much on to just enjoy my LOs. But I will have to make an effort & maybe get off MN more

Oh I passed my msc module!!! Very happy!!

I would leave it a bit longer before starting formula Lane. Babies don't always put in weight in a nice even way, it goes in spurts. Also your baby's weight is so little that it can be affected quite a bit by when they were last fed or had a wee/poo. If you think your baby is hungry (rather than just because of what the scales say) then try and up your supply rather than offering formula. Just my two cents though.

I agree with you all about the soothing them when they cry. I am trying to strike a balance between letting him learn to settle himself but going to him when he needs me so he doesn't get stressed and feels the love. If they are fed, clean, burped and warm and in bed i will leave them for a few mins before i go and sooth. but you can sort of tell by the cry can't you? I did this with all the others and pretty much they are all secure and know they are loved, they all go to bed at bedtime and I don't have anyone with sleep issues.

My dad keeps saying that he is amazed that when you tell Ds1 that it is bedtime he collects his two cuddlies, says night night and off he goes, he lies awake for a while after a story and goes to sleep on is own. And he is always smiling.

Obviously I don't feel this positive when I am trying to settle DS2 at 3, 4 and 5...in the morning

Well done horsey

My 2 adorable LOs have decided to synchronize poos... I have 2 dirty nappies to change. Lovely.