October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

[YompingJo]

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning

I can't bloody settle my baby. Ever. Everyone else can, she's an angel to everyone else. But I took the whole night shift because hubby had a long way to drive today. She awoke needing feeding at midnight. Half hour feed, expressed with other boob, sorted steriliser. Now 1am. Tried to settle her. She wouldn't be put down and kept getting stressed. Finally she dropped off at 3am. Then awoke needing feeding at 3.45am. Didn't go back to sleep until 7am.
The previous night, my mum stayed and looked after her the whole night. Every one of us got 7 hours.
I know logically it's because she associates me with food and I probably smell all milky and delicious, but it makes me feel like she hates me or I'm a useless mum.

Hello all!! Got to catch up on the thread. Have been busy trying to sort out the new formula fed schedule/practicalities. livvy I am loving the socks tip, will try that tonight!!

Boobs have virtually dried up which makes things less stressful but also too.

squid your suggestion of a treat every day is very very wide. Not sure what mine will be today errrr an uninterrupted poo?!

I am on the bus now to the passport office to try get an urgent passport for Tommy. We're due to fly to NZ two weeks tomorrow. Thank god for MN threads giving advice on FF on longhaul. Does anyone else feel panicky being away from baby?! I know he's safe and sound at home with DMIL, she's going to take him for a pram ride... But still.... I asked her this morning if the all-consuming 24/7 worry about your child ever goes away and she helpfully said no

I think talc is bad because it can be irritating for their lungs if breathed in, also some powders have cornstarch in but thrush can feed on that so makes thrush infections more likely, hope that helps!

I meant the suggestion of a treat every day was very WISE!

londonmrs I have the same problem trying to settle DS! Sometimes over_the-shoulder rides (copying what DH does) seems good because he can't smell my boobs as much IYSWIM

Also squid (and anyone else who has one) - any tips on best use of the Moby??? Tried it for first time the other night in newborn position but DS hated it. I like how the instructions condescendingly say that if your baby doesn't like being in the Moby, it's because you're not experienced/comfortable enough and a more experienced person would have no problems...

Morning everyone! Loving all the tips, especially the socks one livvy our house is quite chilly and I'm wondering if that's why baby olives doesn't always sleep that long at night.

We've still got her sleeping a couple of hours in the Moses basket which is fantastic and then the rest of the time in our bed. But it means I get a few hours where I can stretch out in bed and DH and I can have a proper cuddle.

Other positive news is that MIL has gone home today! I do feel a bit mean complaining about her because she is very kind but she has driven me mad this week.

cherry I've been putting cardigans with hoods on baby olive during the day and don't see the problem, although I probably wouldn't let her sleep with a hood on at night.

squid love the idea of a treat every day. Today is one whole treat because I have baby to myself all day with no MIL! But my main treat will be tonight when DH and I will watch last Sunday's homeland episode cuddled on the sofa, hopefully with baby olives cuddled quietly with us! I love Fridays!

Oop, also just wanted to say livvy and zara, it's great to hear you sounding more positive about things!

zara it's worth persevering with moby. Try getting a nice tight hug hold, ignore any crying and walkaround outside for a few mins. Works a charm with DS2. Moby is saving my life these days.

Had a tricky couple of nights. Not sure what's up with DS1 but he was awake at midnight and then from 4-6am last night. No idea why but spent the majority of the night trying to settle one child or the othet. Took DS2 up to 90mins to settle after each feed too.

So 6wks = grim for us! Evenings are harder work at the mo too, trying to keep DS2 quiet enough for DS1 to sleep. Am physically exhausted from it all.

Hoping DS2 is having 6wk growth spurt blip as he's feeding every 2 hrs around the clock. Hope it's a short blip.

Sorry not to respond to all but 1-handed typing in v awkward position while DS2 sleeps angelically on me and DS1 makes a racket up in his cot. Massive sleep refusers, the both of them.

zara like crazypaving we find the sling is fab after a few minutes of walking, going up and down stairs etc. baby springer def settles much quicker if I've tied it pretty tight with straps wide. When I first used it he was too low down, I'm q tall so need to start tying at the top of my tummy to get him 'close enough to kiss' (head just under collar bone), he seemed much more settled than when his head was on my boobs! I have him upright and just tuck his head under a strap when he looks a bit sleepy.
Only downside is he wakes up when I sit down - crazy do you find this too?
to all the sleepy mummies, DD woke before 5 this morning!! Have sent DH and DD on a trip buy a gro clock ..... Over tired toddler and a newborn is a toxic combination thank god DH has the day off!

First off -loopy. You alright love?

Second - I actually hesitated about posting this, because I don't want to make anyone sad, but I also k ow that some of you find stories about happy things cheering and optimism making, soooooo...

We are just back from planktonini's first trip to Europe! DH had a business thing in Vienna, and I didn't think being at home alone sounded much fun, so off we went :)

It was great, actually, and a good 'practice trip' for going home to Australia in February. I know lots of things about travel with babies now! Airlines will take strollers under 10 k, and you can keep it with you right up to boarding (for example). Freakishly, travel in taxis doesn't require a baby car seat but we arranged with our taxi driver that we would use ours and he would keep it for when we were on the way back. Hotels have cribs, too. The Viennese public transport system has lifts to all the underground stops, which is great. And breastfeeding soothes babies when the pressure in the plane changes and their little ears hurt them. Those are the big tips I think, if anyone is thinking about going anywhere. (last year I thought my Australian friend was adventurous for travelling Europe with a one year old - she explained no, it's actually far easier to travel when they stay where you put them than when they can walk!)

I thought we'd overpacked because we had four bags... not even close. He needed more clothes, more nappies, more wipes than I thought, and I'd packed (what I thought was) way too much!

I'm so glad we went, we had a great time and it really gave us a lot of confidence that we can still do exciting things (if perhaps a little less adventurous than before!) bubba behaved beautifully, to be fair he is a very easy baby but even for him he was very calm and happy.

So, it can be done! We can leave the house - with luck/easyjet/infacol on our side, we can even leave the country!

And now, the washing...

springer yes to all that! Tie it tight; tie it high; don't, for the love of God, sit down; and don't try to tuck his head in until he's asleep!

Phew, Jess is gripe-y today... it's probably my fault for my sporadic use of infacol... keep forgetting it. Am just trying to settle her to sleep in basket with use of folk music and me singing out of tune to her... she looks shattered, poor wee mite... as am I... she was asleep so I tucked her in my bed so we could both nap, and then 5 minutes later she woke and screamed for an hour, no idea what that was about...

this self-soothing thing I keep hearing about, what does that mean? That you put baby down awake and see if she goes to sleep by herself? does that work? I always try and get her to sleep before I lay her down....

Didn't go to cafe in the end as got into town and realised I had loads of errands to run/ boring things to buy so did that instead. So I am still owed a treat today... v tired

smiley so good to hear things get better with kids as they get older, I think we all need to keep hearing it! there is something special about the tiny-ness of a newborn but it's knackering and the lack of interaction is a bit tiring sometimes...
londonmrss it is absolute because you smell of milkiness... my boyfriend and mum are both miles better at getting baby to sleep than me... it makes me feel a bit crap sometimes but I'm sure it's just because I make her hungry!
I can't advise much on moby, I gave up on it because I was rubbish at it! I used the sling library here and tried and subsequently bought a "beco" which has buckles and I find easier and more practical for my dash-around lifestyle and seems more secure for things like hikes.

well impressed with zara for contemplating NZ flight and plankton for actually doing a flight! Reminds me I should get baby squid a passport...

god, baby is having a right scream now... later

Well, my treat for myself today is antibiotics for mastitis. Nice. Hideous night last night, hot flush, cold sweats, baby sweating and me shivering . She decided to help in her own little way by not settling for any longer than 30 mins at a time between screaming or feeding, all night.

I was totally ruined by this morning, had not managed any sleep at all. Got self to docs, got diagnosis and drugs, got home, fed but again couldn't settle. Nearly nodding off all the time at this point. As a last resort, plunged her in bouncy chair with Hoover on nearby. She looked puzzled then passed out. I slept on sofa for 3 hrs (waking to check she was ok). Very worried that 3 hrs is far too long to have baby in bouncer, is it like car seat, 2 hrs max? She seems ok though and god I could not have kept myself awake once she was asleep.

So today - and, in fact, the entire last week, can fuck off to the far side off fuck and when it gets there it can fuck off some more. Sick of pain. Sick of tiredness. Stick of inconsolable bean. Sick of crying. Sick of not really wanting to be doing this any more

yomping get well soon sweetheart rubbish being poorly on top of everything else. I wouldn't worry AT ALL about having baby in bouncer for 3 hours, she will be absolutely fine plus you have to look after yourself first so that you can look after her. I sooo don't blame you for not wanting to keep on with this, it does feel relentless but it honestly does get better - in the 5.5 years since dd1 was born the newborn stage was far and away the hardest and most miserable for me. One thing that helped me is that with babies this age there often isn't a why - they just do what they do almost regardless of what we do, so your baby crying lots more than another one totally doesn't reflect on our skills as parents, just the way they are. If that makes any sense at all!

Hang in there yomping...it will get better. Focus on the smiles...for every bad day there is a good one owed to you! May not seem like it. I feel like i notice the long hard bits and stressful moments more than the easy peaceful moments as usualy have to run to loo or put washing on etc...
Well done all on international travel!!! I havent yet managed supermarket..how pathetic.
Good plan re- pay at pump petrol stns...why didnt i think of that.
Sleepy meep today...doesnt bode well for tonght. But managed some laundry, thank u cards and made lunch at 10am ready for midday. Felt like almost domestic goddess.
Then was hour late for playdate and just got home to notice that have massive wet patches on boobs. How do my friends manage to b on time and not look total mess???
I have moby wrap...sometimes works sometimes doesnt...thanks for tips!!
Sending cake to all those poorly and tired mummies...as if u havent got enough to deal with xx

Oh and never question your skill as parent...in some ways the fact u r questioning yourself and worrying shows u care so much and are doing ur very best. That is all anyone can do. And that is enough. U will b doing great really it just doesnt feel like it sometimes as we all so desperatly want to do the best for our babes. xxx

Evening all!

Sympathies yomping had mastitis a few weeks ago and it was horrible, much improved with the antibiotics thou so hope you get well soon

This week can also bog off to fucktown as far as I am concerned. Last week really felt was getting on top of things, getting out and about and more sleep etc but since Monday DD feeding a lot more and sleeping a lot less. She was 6 weeks yesterday so hoping this is growth spurt and will end soon. However HV came today and weighed her and she's exactly the same weight as 2 weeks ago. Just feel a complete failure and really worried about her. So lots of questions about feeding pattern etc and HV watched me feed her and thinks fine so we just have to carry on (forcefeeding boob whenever awake) and see what she weighs next week. HV thinks may just be genetically programmed to be long and skinny so just finding her way onto the right centile and will then follow that one. Am consoling myself with the fact she is too long now for her initial babygros so is growing in one direction at least? Hope so as I don't know how I can fit more feeding in. Also feeling guilty about half hoping they suggest a formula top up as DH could do that at 3am.

Just finding not concocting nightmare scenarios where she wastes away in front of me or has some horrible underlying illness everyone has missed v difficult so thank god it is the weekend and DH will be about to tell me to stop being a silly cow. Have GPs appointment on Monday anyway so can ask her to check the bean over [panicky mother emoticon].

Anyway sorry if a bit self-absorbed, or if this is depressing anyone hoping all problems cease at 6 weeks, am still getting more sleep than at the beginning and she is much more engaging and smiling so really need to get myself one of those senses of perspective I keep hearing about. I look back now and the last 6 weeks have flown. Half way to 3 months which will be 1/72 of the way to her being 18 and moving out!

Oh and I agree with everything crazy said about the Moby wrap, I have a Kari-me which I think is basically the same? If she doesn't settle in it while just walking around I find a small dance in the kitchen with the extractor fan on full blast helps and knackers your back

Yes, if I want baby to settle in sling I vacuum. Worked every time. (so far, touching wood etc etc....)

V down. GP thinks I am just v run down, taken far too many meds due to all probs, rash is reaction to Fluconazole and poor system coping, stop all everything, try to express over wknd and if boobs not recovering need to stop BF and switch to formula. Sterilising pump as I type and trying not to cry. Was all those feckin antibiotics, knew they would wreck me, but had to take them. And fid try ff last night, poor DS totally disgusted and traumatised!!! Strewth!

Oh gawd. Huffle and yomping it sounds like you both need massive hugs. So sorry it is so tough for you. Your poor battered system. Such a hard time. But honestly formula is good stuff and I would really urge you to not worryif that's the route for you.

Woolybob, I do one feed a day of formula so that I know that DD will take it when I choose to give up breastfeeding. Which should be around four months but there are times I find it super tempting to transfer to formula as she glugs it in five minutes, instead of 30, and lasts longer between feeds. I keep thinking of how much more sleep I'd get. But that's v selfish of me.

I tried the moby wrap today ( a friend has lent it to me) and whilst it was great for me being able to hang out laundry etc with Velcro baby, I don't think she sleeps properly in it as she's horribly sleepy and not rested and hungry in the way that she is after a proper sleep. I think I will stick to the buggy.

Now... Advice please ladies. What pressie shall I get my friend who has just had a tiny baby (5 weeks prem, 6lb)? What did you find invaluable? I think the prince lionheart she gave me is awesome. I was also given some vests that do up the side not over the head, which and great as DD doesn't like stuff over her head. I wondered about giving her a nice breastfeeding top.

My parents visited today and my mum was lovely, playing with toes and oohing and aahing over the baby. Dad is not a fan of babies - fab with 5-10 year olds but non plussed with little ones. But cos they were here I had no lunchtime sleep and am bushed!

Haven't managed to track down any professional support for next week yet (mat nurse is away) but I have friend visiting on Monday, then NCT girls on tues, and a friend Friday lunchtime. So hoping that amongst that, I shall be able to maintain sanity.

Hugs to anyone else who needs it. I'm off to bed now.

:(

Bad night for people. Big hugs for yomping and huffle - so sorry you are having to deal with crappy infections on top of everything else. Huffle I hope you can manage some (lots) good nutritious food and possibly a bit of rest. Also, if you want to switch to ff totally understand, but if you feel you're being told to might be worth speaking to breastfeeding worker about how to manage, do you have one?

• am not in any way telling you you should continue bf with poor sore boobs, just saying gps not usually very expert in bf issues

yomping I think we all think unthinkable things about the babies sometimes. I certainly do. It's hard to love someone who is screaming at you all day... not the in thing to admit at motherbaby groups I'm sure, but it really is...
ALso, you fail at treat. You need a better treat.

woolybob You are not a failure!! Weight is not an exact science... is baby pooing weeing feeding alert etc? These are also indicators of health. BF babies often littler than FF ones, they catch up later. Try not to worry. xxx

Jess shrieked at me for four hours throughout the afternoon, and then fell asleep for long enough for us to cook, eat, have a glass of wine, and have actual real proper sex! So happy!!! Little uncomfortable but felt good. (Though now am worried I am pregnant, like a teenager! exclusively breastfeeding and did 4 bloody hours feeding non stop this afternoon so surely not... Getting coil fitted next week...)

(Discussing sex, boyfriend actually said that hopefully we could get my parents up next week so we could have more sex... hahaha, how times have changed...)

Am worried I sound like breastfeeding nazi now!! Just want to make sure people are properly supported if that is what they want, and doctors and midwives and health visitors have minimal training in this really... I know it can be an emotive issue and don't want anyone to feel guilty either, formula good and necessary option for many.

Aww thanks *Squid and Livvy Dont worry Squid, GP is male and fab and v concerned about me and suggested instant change of tack. I agreed to express on worst side over wknd, see how it goes and if not 50% better by Monday, address then. If still so bad I will call the peer group ladies who do home visits. All not lost. On a good note, just managed to express nearly 100ml from sore side in about 15 mins!!!!

Question now tho, how the hell do I know how much to give him????!!!

Yomping you poor poor chicken, you are in a bit of a bad place. Hope u manage to get rest and recover. Apparently antibiotics for mastitis make a big difference quickly so I am hopeful you will feel better soon xx