Dec 08 Mums - Onwards and bloody well upwards!

[Beans36]

How's this? Thought I'd just press on with it!

I was at football yesterday. But I'm here now!!

Indith that is brilliant!!!

In Miami for me Vag. Have just eaten my entire daily calories at hotel brunch. Was bloody amazing. Now just have to prevent eating my way home

I'm here! Busy weekend :)

I'm here Veg, just v conscious that I've already made you endure a lot of antenatal testing talk and as I think of little else I thought I better stay quiet.

ZJ - back at work, wow! What does it feel like? Are you 5 days a week or do you get some time at home with the girls too?

Hons - what did you decide to do about the wedding? So sad for your DH to miss DD1 as bridesmaid. I can't remember what he does but does he often work weekends?

Rubes - Miami? Lucky you. I'm well jel. You seem to get all the glam routes.

Back on the testing topic (sorry!) I'm still feeling really wobbly and can't get the 1:10 figure out of my head. I think I have to have the certainty of a CVS. Lady, when you had your at the FMC, did you get Prof N himself? And did you research that it was definitely worth going there? I could get a consultant at Chelsea and Westminster to do it, and do it sooner, and I suspect it would be fine but I'm really worried about inducing miscarriage, especially as DH was so reassured by the other FMC tests that he wouldn't personally choose a CVS (but understands and supports me in needing one).

girls help dress shopping gurus needed

Hello!

DH is online Xmas shopping so have some peace! Should probably do something organised like some shopping myself but can't be bothered [lazy]

RT sounds like a CVS will set your mind at rest. Isn't it very low risk these days? Sorry i don't know much about it, but thinking of you, hope you can get your mind set at rest soon.

trace please please pop in if you ever get chance!

Well done ZJ on surviving your first week back.

hons that is super crap of your DH. Not sure what to suggest really but you are definitely within your rights to be pissed off. I am sure if you let your friend know you think you might struggle with both of them they might be able to arrange someone with no children in tow who likes them who might be able to help out?

beans sounds very hard with DD1. Hopefully just a phase? Very sweet I'm sure but would drive me crackers. My DD is now very cute, but will go "Mummy you HAVE to COME", and grab your hand and just pull while you are making tea or something. I feel really mean if I don't - usually she has nothing to show me just wants me to sit on the sofa with her or something. Cute but mildly annoying!

Right going to have a look at jams fashion dilemma as I have an absence of news from me!

Sorry super selfish post from me. I will be back tomorrow for a proper catch up.

DD was up loads last night. I am shattered. I got irrationally annoyed at DH as he was snoring while I was feeding her. I didn't say anything to him, just sat muttering under my breath.

I'm wondering if weaning might help but not starting that until she's at least 5 months.

Hons, that's awful of your DH. I hope you can still go.

Kayz love weaning does not make a difference. It never has, there is no study at all to support that it does. The only reason some people think it did for their babies is coincidence because weaning happens around the age that many babies start sleeping through naturally. Honestly, if she is up and feeding loads then it is just another growth spurt. Roll with it. I know it is hard, hell it has been around 4 months since I last had 2 hours of sleep uninterrupted but honestly food will make no difference at all to sleep. Wait until her body is ready for it.

If she isn't actually feeding at night then you need to get dh to help out more, fix the times that you want to feed her (perhaps saying not before 11pm and then not before 5am) and get him to settle her at other times. If you hae a spare room then you go sleep in it and tell him to only bring her to you when she needs feeding.

She does feed every time she wakes at night. We don't have any spare room at all so we can't do anything about it. Just have to put up with it.

Kayz: is she 4 months now? It's a tricky age for growth spurts, as well I remember. Is there any way you can get more rest during the day to get through? This too shall pass - I can't remember any period being worse than 4-5 months for settling.

Hons: a big kick up the arse for your DH.

RT: after all you have been through, I can see why you want a CVS. Isn't the risk tiny if done by an expert? And lower than an amino (as well as the results coming back more quickly).

DO NOT TALK TO ME OF XMAS. I am already behind on the hand made stuff.

She's about 4.5 months. She'll be 5 months on the 20th. It's not every night it's maybe 2 or 3 times a week but she's up about 5 times on those nights.

She's really tired now but won't go to sleep unless I feed her but wakes as soon as I move.

Don't worry about it Kayz. I know it is hard, i really do but it WILL pass. You are just at a difficult age full of growth spurts and developmental leaps. It is all perfectly normal. Use the sling for naps, stick her on your back and get on with housework while she sleeps. It might seem counter intuative having her sleep on you rather than in her bed but if she has good naps in the day she is more likely to sleep better at night (no guarantee obviously .

RT I completely understand you needing that reassurance. Thinking of you.

Ladies I have gone mad. I have bought a bed (£45 including mattress thank you local FB group!) for ds2. He is 8 months old. But he does not sleep well, he flings himself around and hits his head on the cot in the evening (after we go to bed he is in with us). I am going to feed him to sleep in the bed then I figure I leave him (with bed rail) so he isn't waking up somewhere he didn't go to sleep. Does that make sense? I wonder if it will help him to be more settled. Then of course if he is unsettled/when he needs feeding at ngiht I can easily get in with him and then leave again when he is settled so I am working on having him settled in his own space and dh and I get ours back. We shall see! I decided we have to get one at some point anyway so if it doesn't work I shall just put it in ds1's room ready for ds2 to move into when he is bigger. If it does work then I get sleep!

Dh and I are all bit "meh" at the moment. We both know it and we both know why and have talked about it. Unfortunately it is ds2 who is the cause. He doens't stay settled i the evening or at night so in the evening he goes to bed, we tidy up. Dh resettles him. WE start watching something on tv, dh resettles him. WE sit on the same sofa and have a little cuddle. Dh can't resettle him again because he only wants me then he won't go back to bed so I end up on one sofa on FB/MN with ds2 and dh is on the other sofa watching Top Gear and QI on Dave (or at the moment rugby he has recorded during the day). Then I go to bed with ds2. Sometimes when dh comes to bed ds2 is in the cot but about 5 mins into a cuddle he wakes again. We have not had a proper snuggle let along sex for about 4 months now :( I don't mind the sex part too much, we have a small baby and it is hard ot relax when you have a time bomb in the corner of hte room but some intimacy would be nice!

I have just realised I don't think I brushed my hair this morning. Ooops. I walked to school and back with friends, why didn't they tell me?

Right, I WILL finally be back today but I just wanted to say to RT as time is of the essence - yes, I did have Prof N do it. He does most of them. He had a very grand manner and only enters at the last minute with a bit of a swish when his minions have prepped you, and said to me "You will NOT have a miscarriage because I am performing this procedure". And of course I didn't. At that point in his career, he had never induced a single miscarriage doing a CVS because he is apparently one of the best, if not the best, in the world. You want someone who does it A LOT like him. You have to keep very still and I was shaking violently from head to foot. And I have to be honest, it does hurt. But ONLY for a fraction of a second. I had it done on Wed evening and got the results on the phone by Fri lunchtime, written full report later. Incidentally - I can understand you wanting the certainty but you wouldn't be worried if that midwife hadn't been sniffy about the FMC. Grrr. But there is a very precise time when a CVS can be done - I think about 14 wks is the optimum? Any further questions do text me or ask on here. For me, it was so, so, worth it.

DS2 has just announced he doesn't want to go to nursery as he's scared of another boy there. He's 3. He shouldn't be scared of going to school because he thinks someone will hit him.

Am off to have a look at your link in a min Jam. I share your pain but over a Christmas party which should be much easier, and should probably just wear something I already own naaah

RT not so glam was that trip.... 2 medical emergencies, lotsa turbulance a man screaming at me over an empty beer can, plus gale force winds in Miami and that's just scratching the surface. Even less glam, is I've come home and felt like vacuuming (although dh did leave it quite tidy) and am now waiting for the dog groomer as this was the first available appointment in 3 weeks!! That's the biz to get into.....
I briefly read Lady's post. It would be worth it to me also - but that's me. These things have come along way RT, but I guess you need to see what outweighs in your personal situation. Lady, I know those swishy types you talk of - Fortunately I had those surgeon types for both of my CS's.

That's heartbreaking Kayz. A quiet chat with the nursery pronto in order. Hope it's a temporary thing. I have the problem recently of DS taking one look around, seeing his best mates are awol, and faceplants before insisting he wants to go home. Have seen the pattern, but he doesn't always do it. But shame if a 3 y/o is feeling like that. Hope the nursery take it seriously.

They had a bit of a grump at each other last week about a toy. So I spoke to the teacher who had words with them. On Friday the teacher said that it was all fine and they had been playing together very happily.

In fact as soon as we got to nursery DS2 ran off to play with the boy in question. Less than an hour after saying he was scared of him. I did mention it to the teacher again. I'm hoping its all ok.

Ah yes, they often "hate xxx he's not my best friend anymore, I don't ever want to be his friend again" then inseparable a day later. Hope they stay friends.

kayz Your post about DS2 made me so sad. For him and also because there is probably a child (or several) at DS's pre-school who don't want to go in case DS hurts them. Your right small children shouldn't have to feel like that and the awful fact is they do and my DS is one of the causes . I do hope your DS has a good day at school.

Jam I really like the Ted Baker number!

RT I can understand why you would want the extra reassurance given what the bloody midwife said. I have no idea of risks these days but would certainly agree with Ladyt that you should get someone to do it who has had plenty of experience.

Oh I'm sorry Deids. he did run straight off to play with this boy so I'm sure it's the same for your DS.

Hello all,

Rubes That flight sounded awful.

Thanks for all your kind suggestions re DH. He has been given special dispensation to go to the wedding but he thinks he looks unprofessional at work now. He is now endeavoring to be more organised

RT If you are going to worry then maybe it is worth having the test. Did the FMC give you odds without their new test based on their scan/blood results?

Jam I'm crap at fashion, sorry!

Kayz Is something else waking her and she's using you to feed just to help her nod off? Could she be cold? J feels the cold much more than L. She has a cardie on at night.

Ah that's what I meant to say. Hons, your dh sounds just as disorganized as mine... drives me nuts. Glad it's all sorted so he can go. Perhaps it will help with his organizational skills in future if he's a little due to this!

Dog groomer here. I realize this sounds a little princess like of me (and her) but I often wash her myself (in Summer mainly outside) but also have had some plumbing issues here and can't risk blocking the drains up even more with her hair! She sheds like mad and I did her about 2 months ago (in our bath) and I think loads of hair didn't get caught in the strainer thing I bought so dh just said for Gods sake take her to the bloody groomer. Anyway, found one that comes to me for same price!
Right, have talked far too long about this.

Oh and Indith I know just what you mean. It is especially hard with a bf baby. Could you arrange having a few hours to yourselves? Older ones to grandparents, baby out for two hours, and you can have some 'quality' time together and hopefully time for a snooze afterwards.

I find planning these things is necessary as spontaneous opportunities are few and far between!

Oh Indith - that's so tough. Fingers crossed you can take advantage of some grandparents' help etc? Babies are so tough on marriages, aren't they? Could you start trying to put DS2 in a room of his own now, so that you and DH at least get a few hours together in bed, just the two of you? Even if it's just for cuddling, not necessarily a shag?

Kayz - I'm sure she'll come through this phase soon enough, but man it's tough. Just sleep hard the nights she isn't up!!!!

All well here. Dad's Service of Thanksgiving on Weds. I'm a bit nervous about it, to be honest. Will be a lovely day, but suspect many tears! But a lovely party afterwards, with all his lovely friends and some of mine. Waterproof mascara bought and ready. Tried on my outfit for DH last night and he loved it! Hurrah! It's above the knee, length-wise, which I never do. DH was delighted!

It is a grim day here today. Yuck. Am bored of the weather as would love to go out with the girls this afternoon! Films and games on iPad abound.

Hey everyone,

Did we all agree on doing a secret santa? I hope so as here is the address:

its ch r i stmasdecember 0 8@g m ail.com I've added a few spaces to make it unwhateverable.

My DH will be in charge (god help us!) so once all the emails are in, he will put everyone in a hat. Shall we say deadline of the 1st December to get the emails in? Or is that too long? £10 limit again?

By the way, in attempting to revive the address from last year I may have accidentally tried to revive one which I didn't set up! One of the security questions was 'what is your husbands name?', I surely couldn't have got that one wrong. So anyone who set up an old secret santa specific address may get emails suggesting someone was trying to hack into their account! Sorry!