Dec 08 Mums - Onwards and bloody well upwards!

[Beans36]

How's this? Thought I'd just press on with it!

Trace, it would be wonderful if you looked in from time to time to let us know how you are all doing. There is no pressure to be regular, or to keep up, or ask about others. We are all here and would love to hear about things from time to time if you felt able. Lots of love to you.

SS - I'll say! Thanks to mr Jolly (I think it was him) who offered...Let's get going now though as time often runs out for me at the end.

Excellent news, RT! So pleased for you. What a weight off your mind.

BEans, I'm glad you're getting yourself checked out properly. Like others have said, it's probably all fine but important that someone who knows what they're doing is onto you.

Trace, plenty of people post sporadically but it's always nice to find out how they're doing. PLease make it au revoir, not adieu!

I've finally launched my book - and I know I'm not allowed to advertise on MN (and in fact doing so would out me so not a good idea here) but if you pop onto Facebook or Twitter I will probably bang on about it for a while. If you DM me (or look on the blog) you can see a code where you can read it for free. You gets get a namecheck - well, almost. But i do talk about the lifeline that was my MN postnatal thread!

Oh Spot I'm so proud. I'm going to start reading when I can work out how to get Dh to put it on my ereader.

Got cold lurgy thing & ds2 being a people little shit. I decided to walk to school pick up because I felt too crappy to cycle even slowly. So he hid my keys so we could leave. When I finally found where he had hid them we were running so late I had to ride like the clappers to get to school and now my throat feels like Bondi beach. Oh and he also refused to get on the bike for good measure. I now have a moments peace before I need to take Ds1 to gymnastics. I think we need a car.

PROPER, not people.

Hi All,

Trace ? I echo what everyone else has said. I would simply love it if you popped in every now and then, didn?t stress about catching-up but just let us know how you are. After over 4 years of knowing you I would be sad never to hear how you are getting on. If however it adds to your stress then I do understand. Maybe for now just think ?never say never? and if you happen to be online in a few months and happen to be thinking about us, do not feel funny about popping in.

Spot ? good job on the book. I am basking in the glow of the collective name check.

OK. Long monologue about me coming up.

Last time I posted I told you that the new DNA test results I had found out from the Fetal Medicine Centre had lifted me from the pits of despair bought on by my NHS scan showing a think nuchal measurement. For 24 hours all was good. Then yesterday I was working in the main room of my work (sorry, I am being cryptic so as not to give away who I am, but you all know the organisation where I work, imagine the huge room where debates take place which you see on TV). After about an hour I had a 10 minute break during which I checked my voicemail to find a message from the NHS screening coordinator who needed to speak to me ?urgently?. Obviously I immediately panicked but had to go back into the ?big room? leaving my phone behind. I sat there, TV cameras on, surrounded by hundreds of people and all I wanted to do was cry because I knew it would be bad news, the stress made morning sickness worse and I actually thought I was going to through up there and then in front of 300 Members and a public gallery.

Finally I got out and got hold of the screening coordinator who said that in addition to my poor nuchal measurement they had my blood results which were bad and the two risks together meant I had a 1 in 10 chance of Down Syndrome. She was lovely but when I then told I had been given the new DNA test at the FMC and told I was v low risk for Down Syndrome she basically said that it was experimental and not approved by the NHS and she could not advise me to take comfort from it at all. What she could advise was that I was v high risk and the NHS would recommend a CVS or amnio and could fit me in today.

So I went home and cried. And stayed awake all night. And convinced myself that clearly it was terrible news. And DH literally shook with fear and also stayed awake all night but neither of us could bring ourselves to speak to the other so we lay in tortured silence. By 8am this morning my eyes were so swollen I could hardly open them and I called the FMC and miraculously found they?d had a cancellation and we could go straight in and see them.

So the FMC did a nuchal scan and looked at the thickness of the nuchal fold 20 separate times and measured and re-measured it. Their measurement was consistently well within the normal range, they could no replicate or even come near the NHS measurement. The doctor measured for 40 minutes and it was normal. Then they checked the baby?s heart and liver and nose and brain and everything looked normal. And they took my blood again and checked all the hormones and everything was normal. They could not explain why my hormone levels would suddenly be so different. I actually did not enjoy the scan because I was so stressed and scared and although I could see the baby so clearly I could hardly bare to look. When I did look I cried because I thought it had a tail and clearly was very abnormal (remember at this point I was, in my defence, utterly exhausted). The sonographer took a while explaining that ?the tail? was the umbilical cord . So finally they calculated their own risk from the combined test and it was 1 in 6200 for Down Syndrome and one 1 in 11500 for the other two Trisomies. Never has such a weight been lifted off a person. Never. They then said that these revised nuchal results in conjunction with the DNA test gave them huge reassurance that my baby would not have an abnormality and they would not recommend a CVS unless I was really going to worry.

This was all only a few hours ago so I am still reeling from the rollercoaster of it all. I had to call the NHS screening midwife and explain it to her and she was a little churlish pointing out that only NHS tests have the full evidence base and she can only vouch for the training of NHS sonographers (the FMC use fetal medicine doctors not sonographers) etc BUT I am not going to let her put doubt in my mind again. I am going to take conform from the FMC, believe in them and believe in this baby.

Oh, and we also found out that the baby is most probably a BOY (and Rubes I promise I meant to type that this time!).

xxx

Bloody hell, RT, you're having a rocky time of it - and I can't see why your midwife was so unhelpful . Congratulations on your little boy and hurrah for the FMC.

Dash it, just lost a big post and now have no time

RT - first, CONGRATULATIONS! But I read your post in slackjawed horror. What a shocking 24 hrs you've had, I am so sorry . As for that midwife...how DARE she frighten you half to death, and also diss the FMC, a WORLD RENOWNED CENTRE for fetal medicine! I am fuming on your behalf and I am afraid she totally confirms my prejudice about a certain type of NHS midwife. But I won't get carried away with that I thrilled that everything is good now, hope the rest goes smoothly and God Bless the FMC. Love to you and DH.

Trace - hate to think of you feeling under pressure! We will miss you and if you felt like sticking your head round the door even if it was once a year, it would always be lovely to hear from you. Take care of yourself!

Am in my usually tearing rush - DD2 has a vom virus, was in London yest for a travel conference (it was also DH's anniversary which is never fun) and have spent the day prepping DP's flat for the new tenant. And I have a committee meeting tonight! So cross I lost that post. Will try to replicate it over the weekend. Love to all.

RT your MW sounds really unhelpful. But wahooo for the FMC results. Absolutely brilliant. I am so so happy for you.

Again I think sounds like the FMC is a really great place.

Blimey RT you have been through it! Fabulous news on your 'boy', I am so pleased you have had such reassuring news from the FMC. I cannot believe how totally ridiculous the NHS people are being and feel very on your behalf that they made you feel so bad. Its not a bloody competition as to who has the 'best tests'. Hooray for you and your baby 'boy'

Yes, boys have been very thin on the ground in the second wave of babies - was it just you Spot? (When I say second wave, I mean babes born after Nov/Dec/Jan 2008)

Ooops I forgot to say Congratulations on the baby boy!!!!

RT am so pleased to read that update. You need to book yourself into a spa for you and the little fella! Are you still having the Amnio or canned it?
btw dh reckons it's without a doubt 50/50 for boy girl no matter what prior sexes (dh not me - I haven't a clue )
Deleted posts were nothing - just thought Arti had slipped up pointing out baby's sex and I pointed it out, but wasn't the case.

Hurrah Arti!

I have a boy from post Dec 08.

Trace you can pop in. I keep vanishing for months but this lot are doing a very good job of keeping the bitching to a minimum . I am cuurently here but not doing a good job of keeping up with the comments.

I did some fabulous multitasking today. Cross legged on the floor bf my ds2, friends ds3 on the floor, head pillowed on my knees as I fed him expressed milk and dd sitting next to me as I read her stories

Sorry Indith, of course you did. I am a twit Still, we must have had 8 or so girls to 2 boys?

Rubes, I have heard that about the probability of a child of a certain sex (I mean what your DH says) but I have heard all sorts of other stuff as well. Probability bends my brain at the best of times. Anecdotally, my SIL has three kids - boy first, then two girls. Then a friend of DP's has four kids - girl, girl, girl, boy.

Anyway, must stop looking at the thread, I am supposed to be preparing for this meeting!

RT, massive congratulations, such reassuring news. Your family will match mine and boys are FAB. I could eat mine. He is such a delight. He does keep saying " I love you so much, Mummy, you're my best friend" which is a joy.

Now, feet up, take it easy, and try to not vomit on t'telly

Lady, yeah I've heard loads of stats too.. Asked him again. he's adament and said something about it's 50/50 everytime no matter what sex prior and mumbled about Mendelian Inheritance
Beans hope the tests go well. That sort of thing in my family too. Dad has it and now just takes tabs to make it regular since he's gotten older.

DH has 2 week wait for exam results now. He's not seeming overly confident. Then the results and the even bigger one in 2 months time if he passed the first [sigh]

Pip di di pip hoorah!!! That's brilliant news RT. Shame you had to deal with a stupid dumb midwife. In her face, Caroline Flint, the bestest midwife in all England loves the FMC, it is a worldwide center of excellence, stupid twat. I had a HV measure DS1's head and she thought it was abnormally small. I had one of our 'medicine doctors' at work measure it and it was fine.

Oh & hooray for a boy. Boys are great fun, tiring but great fun.

Wanted to have a little boast about Ds1, he is just about his third swimming level diploma, which is cool & will mark the end of his swimming lessons. His instructor has recommended that he start with a swim academy thing as she think he has a definite ability. He is also quite keen on keeping up swimming as a sport so we are going to give it a go. However, also today his gymnastics instructor has asked me to bring him along to a special group which has kids chosen to start training for competitions. He is so excited about this one as he loves gymnastics. He is quite young for the group so we''ll see how it goes. After the trouble he's been having with reading and concentration at school I'm so pleased. It's nice to hear positives.

However, all these activities all over town, violin private & group lessons & the prospect that DS2 is gonna start all these after school things very soon has made us realise we need a car. As fit as I would be doing all that riding, I think it would be quite exhausting.

RT - you poor lamb. Thank goodness the FMC had a cancellation. So pleased for you and hope you got some sleep last night and caught up a bit, resting easy.

Lady - how are you bearing up after a really tough couple of weeks?

Vag - your DS1 sounds like a bit of a sports star! I feel 2016 coming on.... RIO!

I went into London last night to see some of my wonderful girly friends, who I was at school with, so have known for 24 years. They had rearranged the night from next week so I could come, because it's Dad's Memorial next week, so wouldn't be able to go. So kind of them. And I laughed and laughed. It was such a tonic and I loved it so very much. I haven't had the giggles like that for a very long time. It was entirely puerile and all the better for it! What a brilliant bunch they are. Sadly, I hopped on the wrong bus to the station and missed my train, so I didn't get home til 12.30, but worth every second of delay! Poor DH was still beavering on his laptop when I went to bed and didn't come up til 2.30am. Ouch. Then up at 6.45 with DD2. YAWN for him!

So. DD1. What to do? She is incredibly clingy. She can just about handle me not being in the room with her, but if she can't hear me, she panics. I regularly have to go in the garden with the dog and if I go out there, she has a total meltdown and wants to come with me, which is fine, but not after she's in her pjs. It's getting to the point where I feel like I'm going slightly insane with it! She's fine at school etc, but at home, she needs to be with me all the time. I love her so much, but this is getting a bit bonkers. She keeps telling me it's because she loves me so much and wants to be with me, which is very nice, but it's doing my head in. I suspect it's because she's seen me crying a bit recently, so is feeling a bit insecure. I'm just hoping it fades a bit soon! Going to speak to her teacher about it this morning, I think.

Wow, that was a long one, sorry!

Trace - I agree with everyone. No one, but no one, would ever judge you on here for not coming on regularly and not catching up, but if you do ever feel like popping on, we'd be so pleased to hear your news.

On which note, HELLO PD! Forgot to say it earlier!

xx

Just quickly, DH has just announced he can't go to a friend's wedding which is one week today. One week. I'm so annoyed. I've been reminding him for months to book the day off work.. apparently all leave is cancelled anyway but I could have given the bride more notice. Dd1 is bridesmaid but dd2 isn't so logistics wise it is going to be a nightmare.

Dd2 has just fallen over and given herself a black eye.

Grrrrrrrrrr.

Dd2 didn't fall while I was posting by the way. I read it back and I sounded neglectful!

Can you get anyone else to come along with you Hons?

So, I'm back for more ...

Congratulations on the job offer Spot, I'm sure there will be more, and fingers crossed you get more flexible T&Cs with the next one. How is the 'sleep training' going with B? And how is DP?

I hope you've had a great time in NY Jam, despite the marathon being cancelled. How are your friends?

Is everyone better in your house Indith now? It seems so unfair when they are ill in the school hols

Bye Trace, although I do hope that's not the last we've heard from you. As all the others have said, do drop in to let us know your news and how the girls are doing. You didn't even tell us how the GNR went! Love to you, L and P

What an awful day you had RT, but I'm so pleased that you've got the reassurance from the FMC. I'm trying to give that MW the benefit of the doubt that she had a very clumsy and poor way of caveating the tests (as I have to do with any stats I do at work, it's probabilities not certainties etc etc etc), but I'm not finding it easy to let her off.

How annoying Hons, especially that DH will miss L being a bridesmaid. If you can't find someone else to go, could anyone have J for the day? At least it'd be easier there, and she probably will be happier somewhere where she can be noisy

LadyT our annual report has gone to print and you are named and quoted in there, you are the star writer this year! Hope you're getting through this week

I have survived my first week back at work, although the girls haven't had the decency to miss me even a bit! tonight to celebrate

I posted this on another thread. You all have to watch it if I've not already spammed you with it on FB. It is so funny. .

Indith that's hilarious.

Where is everyone?