October 2012 babies - we meet them at last!

[YompingJo]

Getting thread in place in readiness!

[bella2012]

popped over to say hello-missing you all on the antenatal thread, it has gone very quiet!

crazy I am so sorry-you poor thing. It will pass, it really will. As you know, this is something I am fretting about too. I have a friend whose ds went through a phase of openly weeing all over the floor every time she breastfed, but within a week he had got over it. Just keep going with re-assuring him and sticking to his routine and you will come out the other side. (do repeat all this to me in a few weeks time as well!)

[crazypaving]

Thanks bella and orange. My milk's in so I'm in a bit of a hormonal, sore mess. I really hope he adjusts quickly, I hate seeing him so confused and upset I'm trying so hard to do things right but DS2 wakes and cries the moment he's put down so DS1 is seeing too much of him being held I think.

[WantAnOrange]

That must be so hard. 23months is to little to understand whats going on. On the other hand he will adjust quickly.

DS is doing my head in. I've just sent him to his room for nagging me about dinner. He's never in his life gone hungry but he's obsessed.

DD has fed all day. Quite literally. It doesnt hurt anymore and the engorgement has gone right down but its constant.

She also has nappy rash already . I feel awful. I need to let her kick without a nappy but she screams as soon as she is undressed.

She also wont be put down. At all. Ever.

[Angelico]

Hey Mikyah -

Elpis / Wantan - on feeding DD feeds really well but tonight for first night I had some let down in the other boob! It feels really tingly, like she's supposed to feed from it as well but she could only manage 2 mins after 35 solid mins on the other side Was tempted to try and express since boob is apparently bursting with milk but I find it quite sore and I'm going to go and sleep instead.

Squid thanks for all the stuff on co-sleeping - really useful and something to think about, even just to get us through the maggot phase every day when I think the comfort would help her.

Crazy lots of sympathy on the afterpains. I know my sister (she of hardcore, super-fast / agonising labour, birth in ambulance) found the afterpains crippling this time round - she just had her second. She was on hands and knees on floor with the pain but it passed after a few days.

Wantan just sending a hug really. It is hardcore enough with one, not sure how anyone ever goes through all this a second time!

Back to acupuncture today and it is awesome!!! He has given me a bag of disgusting herbs which have to be 'cooked' into a liquid then drunk twice a day. They smell vile but I do trust him as it has helped so much. He also showed DH some ninja baby massage moves for wind etc while I lay prone and full of pins. If they are any good will pass them on. Going to go grab a couple of hours sleep, even though would rather just chill with DH in front of telly... Trying to stock up for the night ahead, she's been too good all day, which makes me think the worst is yet to come...

[crazypaving]

orange glad it doesn't hurt any more and the engorgement is going. DS2 is struggling to stay awake long enough to bring the engorgement down for me at all. I'm block feeding one side at a time atm as I had such trouble with oversupply last time, but feel like I'm striking out in the dark - I can't remember last time at all! Such a blur. Really scared of getting mastitis and my boobs are THROBBING! His latch is still appalling too - the doctor who did his check said he has a slight tongue tie which may affect feeding, so I'm wondering if we need to get this sorted. Argh.

Don't worry about nappy rash - it happens! It's so hard to remember the nappy changes around feeding, sleeping etc... We're not doing very well. The meconium is just starting to change colour for us. Looking forward to the first major explosion

Angelico know what you mean about sleeping though preferring to spend time with DH. The early weeks can be lonely but there is light at the end of the tunnel! It's all about survival.

Hi mikyah! Sorry, was in a hormonal teary puddle earlier and wasn't really concentrating on the rest of the thread. Having big ups and downs mood-wise...

[crazypaving]

Oh also orange DS2 will not be put down at all ever either. You are not alone!

[hufflepuffle]

Awwww, this is where u all are (naturally!) All has gone quiet on other thread! Feel like an imposter so not really reading your posts here. Look forward to joining you all in the not TOO far future. Hugs and best wishes ladies and babies. Xx

[Mikyahrose]

Wow, just had the longest block of sleep in 6 days. A full 4 hours. It was lovely.
I've given up for the time being with trying to get him to sleep in his crib. So got all settled and snuggled together and had a lovely sleep.
Think my milk must be properly in now, had 4 sick episodes today - the first ones. Today's also been the first time I've properly winded him. He's been falling asleep on the boob, so I've just been leaving him to sleep. Got my mum here for the night and she's all about swaddling and winding. And she obviously knows best. :/
DP seems to be suffering with my baby blues. I've been completely fine, but he's been down about not being able to do much for the baby. I've reassured him he's doing plenty and not to be silly as its all about feeding at the moment. But he still had a proper strop before bed which ended with him putting the baby down and huffing coz he couldn't settle him. I'm sure he'll be fine and sorry about it in the morning.

Thanks to everyone with feedback about bottles and dummies. Gonna hold off on both for a few more weeks yet. Sorry girlies.

Will try and get on again tomorrow on the pc, then I can reply properly to everyone. I do struggle on my phone and end up just talking about me

[bella2012]

milkyahrose I was really afraid of dummies first time around for all the reasons everyone has said. However, my ds fed all the time, until he made himself sick most times. I stayed in our birthing centre for a few days as my dh had to work and in the end it was the midwives who told me to just give him a dummy. They said some babies just want to suck all the time. So we did, and for us it worked fine, i never missed his feeding cues and he gradually needed it less and less until it was only for sleeping. Then he gave it up altogether when he was 1. It never interfered with eating or talking. (he is a real chatterbox!) just thougt I would share our story as I know there are a lot of peopke who have had negative experiences with them. In our case they were a n absolute lifesaver!!

[crazypaving]

miky another big fan of dummies here, when only kept to sleep time, but many people advise waiting a week or 2 just to ensure it doesn't affect bfing - apparently dummies involve a slightly different sucking action, according to a lactation consultant we saw who snipped DS1's tongue tie.

1 handed typing again, arm's getting sore!!!

[WantAnOrange]

Feeding is hurting again . I dont know what I'm doing wrong.

[WantAnOrange]

For anyone with a velco baby, I have just discovered white noise. I'm amazed. Shes gone from screaming, to calm in 10 seconds!

[Angelico]

God I have got engorged again! Ouch! Why??? Boobs were perfectly comfortable and in last 24 hours they seem to have maxed up production Latching is really painful - back to the way it was a week ago! So Wantan you may not be doing anything wrong at all - are your boobs fuller again? I'm also paying more attention to latching - Bean was a great latcher from the start but she seems to be getting a bit lazier now and just grabbing at nipple so I'm actually having to pay attention to how she goes on. Left nipple is sore - seems to be a tiny little 'ball' missing IYKWIM!

Bella / Crazy / Mikyah we find dummies can be helpful too but only the odd time - when she's in cot and fussing. Sometimes she likes it, sometimes she just spits it out completely.

Huffle you'll be here soon!

On sleeping, I started a thread asking for tips - popping link in, you might find some suggestions helpful.

Am a bit embarrassed asking this but have any of you found that new bean has made relationships a bit more fraught with other family members? Basically I have had a row with my mum who was up staying with us last week to help out post-CS (we normally get on really well). Parents were just leaving and apparently I had been 'snappy' with her (8 days of constant pain and sleep-deprivation will do that to a person ). She just went mad and had a real go at me, said some really nasty things to me, including that I was 'horrible'. DH and I were both although he said she was probably just a bit tired and on edge about leaving us. I was angry but assumed she would be embarrassed and realise she was out of order.

Thing is - she hasn't. In fact her and my dad have completely re-written the whole incident casting her as the victim and me as some kind of villain. I am so angry!!! Even DH who is always a peacemaker is pissed off and finding it really weird but he is telling me to be careful not to escalate things. The trouble is she was so out of order that I can't possibly see a way of letting it go - because if I do I feel like she might do it again. If I confront her it might escalate things. At the minute they are angling to come and see us again and I just don't want to see them :( I'm too angry and this is really out of character - I tend to be a 'get mad, have a 2 minute rant and rave to DH / trusted friend / on paper, forget the whole thing' person. This is days later and every message they send or phone call they make they send more self-justifying bullshit and I am getting madder and madder. I know I probably need to talk to her but she has re-written things so much that I know it will just lead to a bigger row. I honestly don't know what to do. DH wants me to rise above it and normally I would try but I am genuinely too fucking angry. I couldn't sit in my home and look at her and know that she thought it was okay to talk to me like that - I felt like she kicked me when I was down.

Anyway, sorry to pour this out but any tips welcome. Might post it in relationships under a namechange and see what people suggest.

Have a good day ladies xo

[Angelico]

Ohhh, x-posted Wantan. Our bean likes the TV on for white noise. What are you using? Had vacuum and hairdryer suggested, also on link above someone mentions an Iphone white noise app for 69p and a toy called Ewan the Sheep with white noise option... :)

[WantAnOrange]

Ive found a video on youtube but looking for something I can download and play on my IPod.

iTunes has a heartbeat/doppler sounding one but I prefer the white noise.

I dont have a fancy phone that does apps, I have a mum phone!

[WantAnOrange]

Im sorry to hear about your mum. IME babies have an odd effect on GP. When I had DS, my mum couldn't stand to hear him cry. If he did, she'd have a go at me and say awful things. I don't know what gets into them. But it's not on, you need support.

[Smorgs]

Hello ladies, just thought I'd pop on to say missing you all on the other thread. Hope you're not finding the first few days/weeks too tough. angelico that situation sounds rubbish, surely it's for her to support you as much as possible right now? Even if you did snap its totally understandable. Maybe she just feels vulnerable that she's 'losing' her little girl? Doesn't excuse it though. As if you haven't got enough to deal with.

[crazypaving]

Hugs Angelico. Can't offer much advice cos my Mum is always a nightmare, but fwiw she got a lot worse after DS1 was born! Can you write her an email or something explaining that you're exhausted and in pain and you're sorry she feels hurt but it was never in any way intentional? When I'm knackered I get angry really easily and quickly and lose sight of rational thought, so gritting your teeth and writing something conciliatory may be easier than talking to her.

orange ahhh white noise - good reminder, thanks! We were lent one of those sheep, may give it a go. Although - and no one breathe or say anything - but DS2 is in his moses basket for the first time! Shhh!

And re. feeding - just keep checking the latch and relatching is all I can offer, but then I'm another sore feeder so don't listen to me!!! My boobs are rock solid and throbbing, agghhh. Having to actually wake DS2 to feed him, a problem I never had with DS1, and he's not having much impact on the engorgement in my epic milk supply norkage. Sigh.

Rambly post...I'll ramble off now...in a positive mood today which is nice, enjoying it while it lasts!

[YompingJo]

whispering so as not to wake up babypaving - who, by the way, smells gorgeous but is rubbish as a method of induction, sorry Crazy

Popping on to say whisper hi to you all and to second the suggestion to Angelico of writing to your mum. Sounds like if you try to sort it face to face it might be difficult - if you write a letter or send an email, at least she will read your point of view without interrupting. I anticipate similar with my mum, who is so stoked at finally having a grandchild (if said grandchild EVER decides to come out into the world...) that I'm sure she will become a bit irrational for a while as she will worry about me, and the baby, and this will translate into her saying things which I take massively personally because she can be very insensitive and I can be very easily offended by it! Hope you get it sorted.

[Elpis]

DS was just having a peaceful feed when I felt milk running down the side of my boob. It was coming out of his nose. But he was perfectly calm. WTF?? DD never did this!

In other news, I fell down the stairs while holding DS. Oh Christ, it was awful. I managed to hold onto him most of the way but his head hit a banister halfway down. He didn't cry for more than a minute but I was so upset and shocked that DH had to give me a hot drink. The stairs are carpeted and sometimes they can be slippery. I shall have to take extra care.

Mortified.

[crazypaving]

Oh Elpis you poor thing, how terrifying Lots of hugs. Babies are very resilient - otherwise virtually none would make it to adulthood!! You're probably in far worse shape than he is, go easy on yourself. Accidents happen, especially when tired and wobbly.

And about milk coming out of nose.....wtf?! I imagine it's early incoordination with his soft palate but maybe ask a midwife/hv if it keeps happening!

[WantAnOrange]

Elpis that must have been scary. Dont beat yourself up, we all have accidents.

Milk came out of DD's nose the other day. She coughed and spit up and I guess it went up the wrong tunnel!

I'm feeling very guilty today. DS has been fine so far but I walked past his room earlier and heard him crying. He said he doesnt like having a baby anymore and that mummy and daddy dont think about him anymore.

[Elpis]

Angelico We were given Ewen the Sheep as a present. He has four sound options, one for each leg. Two mimic the noise you hear when the MW listens to baby's heartbeat, one is a tinkly tune in a somewhat depressingly minor key, and the other is like a toned-down vacuum cleaner. DS is unaffected by any of them but DD (3) enjoys squeezing the legs to change the soundtrack. As far as I'm concerned Ewen can flock off. I may remove his batteries tomorrow.

[Elpis]

WantanOrange Am so sad to hear your elder DS is upset. We've been lucky with DD so far but I think the 3.5 year age gap is easier than it would be if she were younger. Have you or your DP/DH got the energy to give him an hour each a day of 'his' time, without the baby? DD really appreciates this. Sometimes we just snuggle and nap together, but we've also been to her favourite playgrounds. The message I've been trying to give us that she and Mummy can still have our special time together, just like we did before. She also has special tasks, like damping cotton wool at nappy changing time and bringing me drinks, which I hope make her feel needed. Good luck. [hug]

[WantAnOrange]

He's 6 and I think very used to being the only child. His GP are very involved as well and hes their only grand child. Its a big thing for him to have to wait his turn at home.

DH spent lot a time with him this week playing Lego/ Skylanders. I cant do much because DD is still feeding constantly.

He has asked if he can take her on the school run this morning so I guess shes forgiven for now.