October 2012 babies - we meet them at last!

[YompingJo]

Getting thread in place in readiness!

[squidkid]

I have been reading now and then, but am SO behind in posting I might have to just post my thoughts and then try and do EPIC catch up (on the other thread too.)

So, baby squid is 9 days old now and we are doing really well! I am very tired and cry and a lot, but other than that things are good.

a) breastfeeding - milk came in early (day 3) and engorgement only lasted 24 hours (very grateful). She mostly feeds every 2 hours and sleeps in between... sometimes it's more often.. I am managing the nights ok. Boyfriend takes her at about 9pm and I try and get some sleep, I find if I sleep between 9 and midnight (even if interrupted for one feed) I can manage the rest of the night easily. Have never been a good sleeper so not a huge adjustment. Breastfeeding doesn't hurt.
b) co-sleeping - I think I wrote a bit about that in my last post, seems to be working ok for us (though not quite at the point where I can breast feed in my sleep - that's the dream! I do wake up to her nuzzling at my breasts sometimes so I'm hoping with time...)
c) am bleeding lighter than a period now and I reckon it might stop soon
d) belly has almost completely gone and no stretch marks, don't hate me, can put on pre-preg jeans but not quite do them up yet, everything else in my wardrobe more or less fits, don't hate me
e) mood is very up and down, I probably sound quite annoyingly chipper right now, but I spend much of the time crying
f) baby squid seems super-healthy (i credit her never having been in hospital!) - she regained her birthweight by day 5 and is up 5oz now. She never had any jaundice and umbilical cord fell off day 4. She doesn't cry much, though she wants feeding ALL the time. She is a happy cute baby and I love her loads (except when I'm crying and hormonal, then I'm not sure).
g) have had visitors almost every day, pretty exhausting really, and sometimes it upsets me I'm not sure why, still they brought loads of stuff - have gone from having bare minimum of clothes to literally bagfuls - it's all too big for her though!
h) I had a graze down below (not even big enough to be called a tear) which was very stingy and painful for about a week but has settled now - don't dare look though! The anatomy feels different! Does anyone else just feel really HEAVY down below? I am trying to do pelvic floor exercises and they do help. I can stop myself mid-wee but oooh it hurts.

I am very, very happy not to be pregnant. I am impatient to become my "old self" - exercise and get back in my old clothes properly - patience, squid! it's only been 9 days... I have promised my boyfriend I won't attempt any real exercise until 1 month minimum. I have been out for a few short slow walks, which are ok but add to the heavy-pelvis feeling. I also went out for lunch with boyfriend, so fuck you! to all the people who told me I'd Never Eat Out Again etc etc.

I feel 100 x better about my birth having processed it for a few days. Now I feel proud and very lucky to have delivered my baby at home with no complications, and I suspect that's why I'm getting off light with recovery time too.

So that's me! Now I have to catch up with everyone, I miss you guys so much!

[Planktonette]

Hi all!

Baby planktonini arrived on 2 oct following a scorching 5.15 hour delivery. 2 cm to 10 in 2.5 hours, if you can believe it!

Unfortunately he got an infection and a lung tear (one probably caused the other, but who knows which way around) and so was in hospital for seven nights.

We just brought him home this afternoon. Now I will commence rejoining the human race... and mumsnet ;)

waves

[smileyhappymummy]

So glad baby planktonini is home again, sounds like a really tough time. Hope you're doing ok.

[Elpis]

DS's eye much better and antibiotics still unused. Fingers crossed! I am now embarrassed about my overnight freakout. I thought I was going to be calmer second time round. Yeah, right.

crazypaving I'm actually drawing up a list of lunch standbys for DD, because we return hungry from preschool five days a week. I won't bore us all with the full list, but these things are my friends: potato waffles, low-salt baked beans, bulgar wheat, couscous, pancakes (batter made earlier), grated Emmental, mushrooms, frozen peas and sweetcorn (which DD will eat still frozen), rice cakes, mini houmous pots, cherry tomatoes, boiled egg with soldiers and ketchup, gnocchi, Parma ham, smoked salmon trimmings to stir through pasta, avocado sandwiches, Alvalle gazpacho in a Tetra Pak, frozen fishcakes and fish fingers.

[bella2012]

planktonette so glad you are home and that your little one is recovering. What a horrid time you must have had. Thinking of you loads.

elpis thank you thank you for the lemsip substitute tip! I feel like a new woman! My lush DH went to get it for me and grilled the pharmacist to check it was safe for me. I don't know if it is a placebo effect or if not having had any paracetamol for God knows how long means that your body responds more, but I def feel much better for a dose, so thanks so much!

angelico what is going on with your Mum? How are you today? I totally empathise with the re-writing history thing, my parents do that a lot and it becomes impossible to fight against. Try not to let it spoil your babymoon, you have enough to cope with just now.

Has cwest updated recently? I hope she is Ok and out of hospital? Sorry if I have just missed her.

Love to you all xx

[bella2012]

also elpis I am so glad the doc could re-assure you, what a fright you must have had. My DS has conjunctivitis early on and my good friend whose baby is currently 2 weeks old has it (baby, not her). Seems quite common as far as I know, so hopefully will clear up quickly for your DS. Xxx

[Smorgs]

Welcome home 'planktonini' - sounds like quite a dramatic start to life, hope things calm down a bit for you now.

[WantAnOrange]

Crazy not very exciting but how about; beans on toast, egg on toast, pesto pasta, frozen pizza and salad, fish fingers chips and peas, toasted sandwiches, jacket potatoes. Have you got a slow cooker?

Glad to hear your are home Plankton.

Squid I do feel different down below. I can't quite say what's different but something is. I'm scared to look!

I also feel better about the birth now that there's a bit of distance between me and it. It wasnt a good birth but it was a good outcome and that's what matters.

[Planktonette]

Thinking about you, angelico. My tricky MIL has surprised us all by being very well-behaved, but still very sorry about yours...

Sometimes - not often, but sometimes - these things are wholly one-sided. In your shoes I'd be making myself frantic trying to work out if I was the nuts one - in your case, it seems unlikely.

Whatever is going on with your mum is probably bigger and deeper than youand your baby. If she can't articulate/recognise what's really troubling her, it's unlikely that you will - and even if you can make a good guess, your odds of convincing her are very low. I've recently seen this play out between my mum and her sister, who was bereaved long ago and probably never came to terms with it. She also, we now think, never came to grips with my sister's sudden death, and six years on, projected a bunch of unrecognisable 'she's not coping' type attributes on my mum, resulting in anger, bewilderment, gossip, resentment, the works. (Trying to stay objective, outside observers think Mum has done a superb job coping - to this day its not uncommon for people to stop her in the street and tell her so.) (It was a well-known incident in our hometown.)

Point being, my mum eventually (and with great difficulty) came to the conclusion that if her aunt couldn't recognise her own craziness - which she couldn't, the roots were likely in the first bereavement about 30 years back - then mum would not be able to convince her she was being crazy. My aunt had a lot invested in 'not being crazy' and just as much invested in '(my mum) being crazy', so trying to convince her otherwise on both counts - especially coming from the 'crazy' one (my mum) - was never going to fly.

So my mum targeted the behaviour and only the behaviour. The specific actions she took were:

• Refusing to talk to my aunt on any 'trigger' type issues
  

• Talking directly to the people in the gossip circle about what specific things had Ben said that either weren't true or that made her angry, and why
  

• A couple of symbolic gestures to make it absolutely clear that this is Serious (she's not going to Christmas at my aunt's house for the first time in living memory)
  

• accepting her own anger and working bloody hard (it is hard) to accept that she will never get recognition for the bad behaviour from the perpetrator, not because the perpetrator is bad or wicked, but because the perpetrator actually does not have the capacity to recognise that the behaviour was bad.
  

It's thin milk, I know, but maybe a scrap or two might be useful. FWIW, they're talking again, and the folk who got sucked into the gossip circle are chastened and chagrined.

Hey squid, you're all about cosleeping - my bub is in a Moses basket, but it's lovely to hoik him out to lie next to me for his nighttime feeds. What are your top tips for doing this safely?

[YompingJo]

Goldengirl, hi, hope you're OK. Am not feeling very humorous today but glad to make people smile sometimes!

Just checking in with everyone to see how you are getting on. 39+5 (again) here today and just thankful that every morning I get out of bed (painfully) after minimal sleep is one less morning I will be pregnant!

Sounds like you are all doing amazingly well, looking forward to joining you in next few weeks xxx

[crazypaving]

Thanks for meal tips - think DS is going to be getting a fair amount of sausage/fishfingers & a balanced diet of cbeebees!!

We're off out to register the birth, catch up later.

[Beeblebear]

Pops on to wave hello at all the moms!

Still somewhat patiently waiting for bean to arrive. 38+4 here today.

Question about names

Did you and dp/dh decide together or did he throw in the towel after labour and let you pick? Did any of you have the name 100% picked before the birth, and did any of you change your mind when you met your little one?

Dh and I had a short lust, but dh has now to d me that he does not like any of them, nor our choice for middle bame anymore. So I said lets go back and write out the long list again of all the names that crossed our mind at some point. I thought that we had gotten past the video game/movie character rediculous stage but I now see a couple mire like have popped up on there now and I want to scream. "Link... Morpheous... Really !?!?!? Ok.... Breathe beeble,breathe

[Angelico]

Hi lovely ladies, finally a good check in to send a hug to all! Thanks again for sympathy re mum, she seems to have gone temporarily bonkers but things are coming round. I posted a lot about it on another thread and was really shocked at how things went for a while :( It's left me very wary unfortunately but it seems really common judging by responses. I didn't want to inflict it all on you lovely lot but you can judge for yourselves if you feel brave! Anyway parents are visiting at weekend when others will be here to keep things civil and will be keeping them to weekly visits for the next few weeks until I am back to 100% strength. DH (normally the king of chill) was furious about it all. His parents are here at the minute and are being so fab and helpful it makes me more sad about my own parents :( Thanks for all the advice, it's much appreciated. Sorry so many of you have these problems more frequently, I'm probably lucky things haven't blown up before.

Lisbeth took your post in spirit it was intended :) Hope all is going well with Paul!

Smiley has Ewan the sheep arrived? We need a casting vote before we invest in him :)

Elpis our bean has horribly sticky eyes at the minute as has my 8 week old nephew. DSis is dropping breastmilk in his eyes but with her first DS it lasted till he was 5 months. Our bean seems completely unperturbed by it all, it just ruins her good looks a little! MW swabbed her eyes but seemed unconcerned, it's just so common.

Crazy so glad you had a good night of sleep, it makes me feel like a different animal altogether!

Squid sending a big hug! I found I cried daily up until bean was about 12 days old but then most of tears in few days before that were over row with mum. Hopefully you'll feel more settled soon - just take whatever help you can get so you can get the precious sleep! :)

Bella and Planktonette thank you for the sympathy strokes and sorry to hear you Bella and your mum Planktonette went through the same thing. Re-writing events is horrible :(

Beeble am :o at "DH and I had a short lust" - that's what got us all into this mess in the first place :o

So to join in the hate parade - I now weigh less than I did before I got pregnant - am about 5lbs lighter! Still wearing maternity trousers just because they are comfy on incision. Baby is voracious feeder and putting on weight by apparently sucking me dry. PIL took bean up to sleep with them last night so DH and I had snuggle and a few hours of decent sleep - and for first time in ages I felt like the sex!!! :o BUT - didn't do it as I know it would have hurt abdomen. But still, the spirit was willing!!!

And I'm sure you've all been well warned but MW signed us off yesterday and had 'the chat' about contraception, warning you can get pregnant even exclusively breastfeeding and before your periods return. She said we have no idea how many couples she sees who are having 'Irish twins' (ie same school year, 10 months age difference!) and they are often inconsolable at first So beware the sex!!! :o

Think I have escaped for long enough... back to the grindstone! Love to you all xo

[FjordMor]

Hello everyone :). Just checking in to mark my place. Finally have time to post but going cross-eyed with fatigue and need to jump in bed and put Baby Fjord's night time feeding plan in place. Hopefully, without screaming and tantrums, I can at least sleep the odd hour between feeds tonight! Having massive feeding problems which I need to sort out ASAP as I fear we're on the verge of Baby Fjord rejecting my boobs and my milk drying up . Need to go pump - shit! I forgot about that...just as well she's so adorable. Will try and read all your posts and catch up tomorrow if tomorrow is, indeed, a better day. xx

[firstbubba]

Baby first bubba born 2nd october 1st day home today After we both had an infection ended up with a section after horrendous induction more on that later baby has alreasy been in acute unit had lumber puncture had a canula in his hand and fot to administer antibiotics and been fed thru a tube.


Will post a pic on FB if ever stop breatfeeding he was a large 9. 2.5oz at birth

[LoopyLa]

Morning lucky ladies with babies

Just posting to say we miss you guys over on the other side and think we all hope to be joining you all soon - leave us a little writing space on the thread & save us some please?!!

[crazypaving]

Congratulations firstbubba! Sorry it sounds like you've had such a difficult time. Very glad you're home and well now.

fjord sorry you're having such a tough time with bfing. Really hope the LC can help - but remember, whatever happens, how you feed your child does not mean anything about the mother you are. Your baby will be fed and loved whichever way it happens. Big hugs your way.

Angelico had a read of your other thread - you poor poor thing. You've had some great input there and I have nothing to add but lots of sympathy and hope the daft woman (ahem, sorry) sees the light sooner rather than later.

Beeble we had the name in concrete before DS was born. Last time I had a hormonal meltdown after the birth which resulted in DS1 not being named for 5 days, and we wanted to pre-empt that

orange glad you've got perspective about your birth - you've had a great attitude all along imo. It's funny how quickly time helps though isn't it? When I was in labour this time I was thinking "how did I manage to forget this?" And I was convinced I hadn't! Urgghhh, shudder.

Planktonette glad all home and well

Squid sounds like you're doing brilliantly - and I keep crying too! Mainly, I must admit, about DS1 who is just breaking my heart at the moment...

Nights have been a bit up and down here. DS2 still sleeps like a little quiet angel in the day in his moses basket and then struggles at night. Last night all was going well but after his 2am feed he did a massive poo. He was asleep but obviously we had to change him - cue much screaming then unable to settle til 5am God I dread him pooing, settling him after nappy changes is impossible and I'm always worried he'll wake DS1 with all the noise. A bit shattered today, and really should be asleep as he is now, but I have to go to the osteopath in an hour.

Speaking of the osteopath, my pelvis is agony. Absolute agony. So much worse than when I was pg. Struggling to walk, pick up DS1, do anything really. Desperately hoping the osteo can help because DH goes back to work on Monday and I'm stressing about how I'm going to cope with 2 under 2 let alone whilst being in enormous pain when I move.

And then there's DS1's behaviour....I can't count the number of times he's smacked DS2 on the head, has tried to do so with heavy toys too. He is being so oppositional and naughty, refusing to cooperate with just about everything. And on top of it all he's really subdued and not his normal lively happy little self. Whenever I talk about it I just cry. Where's my gorgeous little boy gone? Will he ever come back or is this going to be a permanent change? And I feel constantly like whatever I do to manage his behaviour I'm doing wrong, and it's just going to get worse and he's going to hate me and DS2 forever. I'm finding it so hard and am so scared about when DH goes back to work on Monday

Argh sorry massive downer post. Apart from DS2 and my pelvis everything is fine really. DS2 is so gorgeous and DH is being absolutely fantastic. And apart from the pelvis pain it is SO NICE NOT TO BE PG ANY MORE!!! Anyone else finding it hard to re-find their centre of gravity though? I think I must look a bit bizarre when I stand because I don't know how to do it any more!!

[crazypaving]

Oh and happy 1 week birthday to smileyhappymummy's DD and my DS2

1 week already

[Planktonette]

Hey there firstbubba - my baby also born 2 October, with infection + lung tear (bless the nurses, they never said 'collapsed lung' near us but that's what it was - sounds MUCH worse than it was for our baby, fwiw) and spent 7 nights in ICU. So, all my sympathies, do PM me if you want to chat about it with someone who's Been There recently.

Beeble - PSML at 'Link' and 'Morpheous'! Too funny

angelico 'Irish twins'? at both name and concept! Consider me scared into condoms! (Not that I could yet... Grumble mumble bah)

Baby finally has a name (8 days, beeble - and we found it REALLY hard) and is currently lulling us into a false sense of security by eating well and almost never crying. After the scare he gave us his first week, it feels like he owes us a rest! I know it can't last, but it's lovely for now...

[YompingJo]

Jeez, Angelico, read your thread about your mum and just wanted to say how sorry I am about the troubles you are having - it's actually made me worry a bit about how my parents are going to be, haven't got best relationship with DM and this is first GC for them! Very shocked on your behalf at their behaviour, especially emailing and texting DH instead of you! Think you have stayed very strong throughout and have handled it with a lot of dignity and think you are completely amazing for sympathising with others who responded when you are going through such shit! Hope next visit is better otherwise please don't feel bad about keeping them distant for a few weeks/months - as someone on your thread said, your DD won't notice and it will help you.

[smileyhappymummy]

1 week old today - cant quite believe it! Still have very settled baby during the day and very unsettled baby who wants to feed all night and not interested in Moses basket at all at night. Have got properly tearful over the last few days, just uncontrollable weepiness, about all sorts of probably fairly silly things including

1. what if something happens to one of my precious daughters? Not helped by the wretched SIDS charity basically saying that anything that might help your baby sleep e.g. Co sleeping, swaddling etc etc might be dangerous. And warning you against getting too tireed on top of that.
   
2. dh says (and a,ways has in fairness) he doesn't want more than 2 children. Not even sure I do but finding it so hard to cope right now with the idea that I won't ever be pregnant again, won't ever have a baby less than a week old again, etc etc. probably just hormones.
   Other than my own irrationality things generally going well. Baby smiley only lost 100 g from birth weigt when weighed the other day. Scar still hurts especially at night when turning over but manageable.
   fjord you sound like you're having such a tough time, wish I could give you a hug. Feeding is hard at thr best of times and when it's a struggle its horrible. With dd1 we gave formula top ups and I pumped frm when she was about 3 weeks to 6 weeks old and it was soooo hard, I got so tired and upset about it. Whatever you end up doing your baby will do just fine - you are such a lovely caring loving mummy and that's what baby fjord needs. sounds like you had a tough birth too... Please do feel free to share with us if you want to but obv not if you don't, and be gentle wit yourself.
   angelico awed by your ability to consider sex! I can't even imagine it right now!
   firstbubba welcome to baby, sounds a rough ride, dd1 had similar when born (cannulas, iv antibiotics, ng tube and a lumbar puncture), felt bad to start with thwt I hadn't been able to stop all of that happening for her but absolutely certain that it didn't matter at all in the end. Hope you're ok and good luck with the constant feeding!
   crazy hoping osteopath will help sounds miserable! Am sure that ds1 will sort himself out, I am managing dd with sticking to firm boundaries (it's tempting to let her get away with more because I do feel a bit sorry for her thwt her little world has turned so upside down but thinking thwt might just make her feel more muddled) lots of praise for the good stuff and trying to find at least 10 or 15 minutes a day to spend with her on her own - either me or dh. Suspect we have it easier than you though as at least she is at school during the day and being older it's probably a bit easier to talk to her though. At least one of my tearful meltdowns was because she was upset about having been told off for behaving badly and I just felt so guilty for having changed everything for her.
   planktonette long may the peace last - you are quite right, you do deserve it after all of that!
   Right going to post this now before it gets eaten by the computer!
   Btw Ewan the sheep arrived today. Baby smiley certainly likes it, more news on sleep effectiveness tomorrow!

[squidkid]

Planktonette So glad you are home, it must have been really tough spending the first week in ICU. A bit of a crazy whirlwind birth all round... glad all is ok now. Co-sleeping... the recommendations are fairly simple... keep babs on your side not your partners at least at first, no smoking or drinking, nothing that could suffocate them (so I keep my duvet and pillows well away, baby has her own little blanket) and watch out for overheating (same). With those caveats, it's very safe.
Take care of yourself chuck, been through quite a lot.

Smiley I'm not sure if I congratulated you already - so happy your birth was a lovely peaceful experience after last time. xxxx

wantanorange glad you are a feeling a little better about things - it does help to have a good outcome but that's not the whole story - I find myself ok most of the time and sometimes randomly burst into tears at the thought of having to do labour again! (getting ahead of myself a bit, baby squid is 11 days old!) Take care of yourself.

Beeblebear Feeling for you with the videogame names I would be furious!! We were down to two names for a boy and two for a girl, but it was a no-brainer in the end as my friend Jess the midwife was there.. cue tears all round

angelico I am at the incident with your mum, surely the rule is, people who have just given birth are expected to be a bit tired, hormonal and emotional!!! I can't imagine any of my close friends treating me like that.. I am so sorry you've had this to deal with right at the beginning of looking after your new baby. Am glad parents in law are good but... you have my sympathies. Yeah i would keep visits to a minimum...
Nice one on weighing less than pre-pregnancy! I'm not planning to weigh myself any time soon, but pretty chuffed I can fit in almost all my clothes.. give it a few more weeks breastfeeding and see if I need to buy a new pair of jeans or not. Every day they fit a teeny bit better, could just do them up this morning... was convinced it would take at least 6 months to get back to normal so an unexpected bonus
I have had sex thoughts about twice, but too sore down below still

firstbubba Congratulations on your baby, but that does sound like a very hard time. Thinking of you and hoping people are being very gentle to give you some time and space to recover. xxx

crazy paving So sorry you're still struggling with pelvic pain, that does seem very unfair and unreasonable on top of everything else... hopefully the osteopath will be some help. I'm with you on the so happy not to be pregnant, by month 9 that had got VERY old. I'm sure DS2 will settle, it must be a big adjustment for him and so frustrating for you... I have nothing but endless admiration for those of you with young kids and new babies, seriously...

Will try and write more regularly (and less volume!) xxxx

[Elpis]

smileyhappymummy I so understand what you say about 'never being pregnant again'. My first and second trimesters were harder this time because I was off migraine meds as well as nauseous, but I still love being pregnant, and feeling so full of potential. I had to bargain with DH to get him to agree to a second child, and we couldn't house a third beyond toddlerhood without moving out of London, which would mean he saw even less of us. On top of that I'm 37 and have a still unpredictable chronic condition (and, hey, maybe even a job to go back to), so the arguments against it multiply. But never to feel all that again... Sniff.

And I write all this as a sleep-deprived, aching shell who's dreading DH's return to work next week!

DS is definitely hitting a livelier stage. He can how focus on me and wave his little arms in excitement when he sees a breast approaching.

[WantAnOrange]

Angelico I read your other thread and really feel for you. My mum and I have a interesting relationship too. Its sad but I literally cant even give her an inch or she just takes the piss. I agree with what others have said. Put some firm boundries in place and keep it simple. FWIW I think your requests were perfectly reasonable.

DD is doing well. Feeding is improving but still very much on demand, no sign of a routine. Last night was awful. She decided 4am was playtime and got really upset when I put her down to sleep, then she got colicky and didnt know what she wanted. She kept rooting but then when I tried to feed her she got even more upset. The night before that she fed beautifully, every 3 hours .

I cant beleive how much she has changed in just 11 days. She is so much more alert and her personality is emerging (she has one hell of a temper). She woken up with a really big milk spot on her cheek this morning which is somewhat ruining her look.

I'm having the whooping cough immunisation this morning, has anyone else been offered it? This baby has turned me into a human pin cushion.

firstbubba hope your LO is doing well now. Inductions are horrible, I dont ever want to go through that again.

Elpis at your DS getting all excited about boobs!

[Angelico]

Hey peeps . Really tired today even though MIL took Bean ON and she only came down for feeds. Think it's the constant '3 hours sleep, then awake for an hour, then 2 hours, then up for an hour, then oh ffs it's morning may as well get up!' You might get 5 or 6 hours sleep but it's not in one chunk. Poor Bean is asleep now after desperately trying and failing to have a poo. Find myself willing her on like she's an Olympic athlete approaching the finishing line - "Come on Beanie!!! Come on!"

Fjord really sorry you're having such a hard time - hope things get easier for you. Please don't be hard on yourself about the feeding, you've been through loads for your bean - no one could have done more Take care of yourself as best you can and if you do end up FF - at least your DP can help with night feeds :)

Congrats firstbubba and sorry you had a rough time :( And Planktonette also really sorry you had such a rough time, think in sleep-addled state I didn't really realise how rough you'd had it, especially because your messages were as upbeat and perky as ever :) You've been really brave and hope things are getting better. (On Irish twins thing - probably the kind of thing you can only get away with saying in Ireland! :) ) Also sending a hug to CWest - hope things are getting easier for you x

Crazy thanks for sympathy - and sending it back to you tenfold. Don't know how you're managing at all - seems bloody unfair you're still dealing with the pelvic pain. Your DS1 will be fine in time but can understand how upsetting it must be for you. He'll be fine, just nose a bit out of joint at the minute. Our bean is the same btw for the angel during the day, more lively at night. She maggoted about all evening yesterday. Got the Harvey Karp book 'Baby Bliss' - arrived today, seems to have good info about wind / colic etc and all the swaddling stuff, might be worth looking at? It was on Amazon for £0.01 plus £2.80 postage!

Yomping thanks for sympathy strokes If it's any consolation, you are kind of prepared for things to be a bit fraught whch will probably help you be more measured about everything IYSWIM. I was blindsided by the whole thing - never saw it coming. You may be pleasantly surprised by your DM - really hope so x

Smiley bear in mind I only thought about dtd :o (And DH doesn't know...!) Any verdict on Ewan and his magical sleep-inducing powers? And Elpis any change? Or can Ewan still flock off? :o

Squid again thanks for sympathy. On the weight loss - bear in mind I am 'voluptuous' to start with so have plenty to lose! In fact acupuncturist (Chinese, painfully direct) asked about my appetite and I said it wasn't great in spite of BFing. To which he replied, "Ha ha, don't worry, you have plenty..." and waved in general direction of tum! It was impossible to be offended as he was so merry and down to earth about it :o

wantan sorry your mum is a pain :( At least you sound well able to handle her and used to her antics. Maybe you would find the Baby Bliss book useful too because of the wind / colic thing? Certainly swaddling and Ssssshhhing does head-off meltdowns in the Angelico household while she's at the whimper stage... so far... Haven't been offered whooping cough vac, why are you getting it? To stop you catching it and spreading it? Or can you spread some immunity through BFing?

Our bean is now 17 days old! She is so long and already filling out, I kind of miss how teeny tiny she was at first but it's also lovely that she actually seems to focus now, really stares at our faces :) She's also smiling a lot and I know they apparently can't control it till 6 weeks but just occasionally she times it perfectly and smiles when we are smiling at her - helps get me through the evening 'acting the maggot' stage :) Any toys you can use with babies this young? Baby Whisperer book suggests drawing black marker lines on white cards.