October 2012 babies - we meet them at last!

[YompingJo]

Getting thread in place in readiness!

hufflepuffle I use wipes for poo and then follow them with a damp cotton wool pad. I assume this wipes away much of the residue from the wet wipe. It usually picks up some vestiges of crap that I missed, too. Boys are so much more difficult to clean than girls. I would bring up the subject of wrinkly scrotums but we don't really want to go there, do we? Except we have to. Ahem.

LoopyLa I didn't really do anything for my scar first time round - I let nature take its course and cover it up, IYSWIM. This time round I've applied a bit of Trilogy balm to it in an effort to stimulate the circulation and speed up the repair to nerve damage. But who knows whether it makes any difference? I've spent a bit more time on my stomach, because I want it to tighten up again and I was lucky enough not to get stretch marks in either pregnancy. The incisions are so low these days that even a low-cut bikini doesn't reveal them, and I'm more of a costume girl anyway.

Elpis what an excellent tip re: wipes! We started on wipes & noticed that baby Loopy was getting a bit of a rash so went to cotton wool & water. But it's a bit of a faff & wiping away residue is a good point plus I have a huge stockpile of at least 15 packs of wipes so want to use them
Thanks for that

This is my least favourite time of the day. Whilst during the day she will feed, chirrup to herself for a while in the Moses basket and then sleep. But at 130am, despite a huge feed of 45 mins, she won't settle. Last night I ended up feeding her again, though it couldn't possibly be hunger and my poor nipples are protesting.

Tonight I'm trying the cheesy lullabies from the baby monitor (not making me feel sleepy so not surprised it isn't working for her) and a dummy. The dummy does settle her, but falls out after 2 mins, when I have to put it back. Not ideal.

So those of you who have white noise teddy bears or that sea horse thing that attaches to the side of the cot, do you share a room with your baby? Can you sleep through it? This is driving me nuts. So, so tired. Sore, battered undercarriage, tender swollen nipples and my neck hurt. Argh.

I've tried cuddling her. That doesn't work either.

Livvy we only get to sleep via suckling. Baby will not go to sleep on own. Got Ewan the sheep, does nothing for him. Wondering if I should play it After he asleep to make him associate
It with sleep??

Sympathy on your poor nipples. Mine wrecked too. Had recovered q well but with his crossness last few days he has been sucking more aggressively again. Expressing tiny amount by hand post feed to rub on them, lots of lansinoh and then the breast shells combine to stop me going insane........ And I am
Using a BF pillow thing a friend lent me. Thought it looked a faff but despite neck still being in bits, 100 times better.

Used infacol with all feeds last night after 6pm, including this current one. Not assuming anything but we hav had a much better evening......... Fingers crossed!

MW and HV both in morning! Hoping MW will hav a look at my bits. What seemed to be thrush TMI ALERT has resulted in a red swollen labia..... Hurts to move, wee, sit, bloody anything! So I'm
Not sure what the feck now!! Is there no end to the discomforts??!

Oh huffle I'm so tired I'm sobbing and don't know what to do. I tried my mum's suggestion of some boiled water in a bottle but she wasn't having it. The dummy only works if I reposition it every two minutes. Which whilst saving my nipples doesn't get me any more sleep.

I'm suffering too re undercarriage. Much more sore today than when I left hospital which doesn't make sense.

Oh man. After an utterly horrific 42 hour labour, I had thought I might get some luck with the baby.

I hear ya pet, crap here too xx

Hugs Livvy if u still there. This is all so v v hard. Plainly 1 boob was not enough here, 5 mins back in basket became screeching. Great big whoosh of a dirty nappy followed. Whilst changing did another wee, soaked the half open new nappy and clothes too. All this drama woke him up totally. Now on 2nd boob. So cycle of trying to wind him will resume in spprox 25 mins. I am knackered. But what can we do? My only advice to you is to try not to give too many alternatives to boob- dummy, boiled water, ad you are interrupting your demand led production. I know, you are so so sore. Me too but I am wary of not stimulating production enough. Tho this is me with mega feeder here, your little one is at least a more regular weight!

Sob away when u need to. God knows I do enough of it.
Hugs ((((((((x)))))))

Oh and r u taking painkillers? I find if I miss even one dose, discomfort far worse. Paracetamol and dreaded diclofenac. But they r working. If not, perhaps u need stronger. Pain manageable, but the itching and burning not.

I am coming back as a man. This is not enjoyable

Xx

Oh huffle, yep, still here. Got about 20 mins sleep with the dummy and now she's in a spit it out phase. Argh.

I genuinely don't want to upset the milk production thing but how can she still be hungry after a 45 min feed?

Thank you for the support. So miserable.

Maybe should try to be more regular with the painkillers as you suggest.

And am trying infacol with next feed.

londonlivvy Sounds like an awful, awful night - poor you. It will get better, but in the early days cluster feeding (eg 45min feed then back on the breast) isn't at all uncommon. I know some of us on the board have been eulogising cosleeping and you may be trying it already, but it's saved my sanity and energy this time round. Really wouldn't give boiled water because babies at this stage need to take in as much nutritious fluid as possible and you risk satisfying their thirst without feeding them.

The painful cracked nipples can be torture, but they do ease. Does it hurt when latching on or throughout a feed?

Ugh. Worst night so far. Not sure how long I'm going to be able to put up with this before turning into a wailing mess myself

livvy really feel for you. Last night was feed, burp, settle in Moses basket, wail, pick up and attempt to soothe, realise he wants to feed again so repeat whole process every hour. And he's sleeping so much during the day despite opening all the shutters? Being noisy etc to distinguish night and day. Starting to feel nervous every evening because of what's to come...

oh livvy i feel for you so much. I wish I had logged on throug the night, I was awake then too. Good advice from elpis and from huffle. The cluster feeding thing, while painful, in my experience often preceeds an expended sleep so do try and keep going with it. Once they have stocked up, they can sleep for a bit longer. The advice squid has quoted saved my sanity with DS1, 'good or bad-everything is a phase'. Every night will not be like last night, I promise. You will get there.

Big hugs to you too huffle and yes- in my next life I intend to be a man too!

Speaking of men, yomping, your DH sounds very similar to mine. Can't fault him in loads of ways, but wish he would be a bit more pro-active! I really struggled the first time around not to resent my Dh for the fact that his life hadn't changed in the monumental way that mine had. The stabiity of his work life was in tact, his body looked and felt the same, he was able to stay rational about things that I felt extremely emotional about, he could actually function away from bean, where I would continually stress at the thought of being separated etc etc. I know that isn't what you are saying, but I just thought I would throw that in there. I know my DH would swap it all for a few months off work to do the parenting thing, so I know how lucky I am that I get to do it, although the thought of managing two kids as well as my job is playing on my mind ALREADY! Eeeek!

Can I chime in on dummies? I wrote all this on the AN thread ages ago, but I had a really good experience with dummies with DH1. He used to just feed until he was sick over and over again and a dummy just saved my life. Didn't intefere with feeding at all, gave me something else to offer for comfort and he gave it up readily before he was 1.

Thanks elpis. It is excruciating at latch and just mildly uncomfortable thereafter. But when she's distracted and we have to relatch five times in quick succession, I am not happy.
The boiled water was in desperation, as I say, she'd just had a 45 min feed 15 mins before so I didn't see how it could be hunger.

smorgs much sleep deprived sympathy heading your way. I too am starting to dread nights. Sigh. Yawn.

Bella I wish the cluster feeding did lead to a longer stretch. But you are right re this being just a phase.

Anyway, I am coming to the conclusion that music definitely doesn't help. By dummies do - if I can get it to stay in her mouth. Any brand particularly recommended?

Morning all. Hello Livvy, hope u feeling less distressed. Smorgs u hit nail in head, I too am starting to dread the night. Well dread evening. But they do say there is possibly some psychological basis in colic and thus dreading it is really no place to start. I need to catch self on!
Had reasonably good night- where is 2 hrs awake between 2.30 and 4.30 good?? But pattern tends to be good night bad so..... Bad night for me is screaming and hourly feeding.

Livvy do u write things down? I hav book beside me with every feed, sleep and duration in. Point was to look for any pattern or routine but that was too hopeful!! What I do see however is those big long hour feeds cropping up from time to time. MW says they growth spurts and need to go with. Usually hav cross baby with them too so sore nips. But I can see on paper that they not all the time and my average now is half hour. At start was both breasts constantly but again seems to be more satisfied with one most times. Except in night...!

Perhaps I'm waffling. Trying to find my sanity. Might help yours
Xx

livvy sounds like you had a horrible night - really feel for you, just make sure you try to sleep when she's sleeping today. And again I'm another co-sleeper and it's saved our sanity.

Baby olive is cluster feeding a lot during the day and it's so hard to know whether to keep feeding or try to comfort her in other ways, but ultimately all she wants to do is feed so I'm just going with it for now.

Can I also ask about dummies? We haven't used one yet and I am a bit reluctant and DH more so than me, but I kind of think it might work for her during the day when she just won't settle. Are people using a particular type of dummy? Are some better than others?

Big sympathies to livvy and huffle. It really does soun like a growth spurt. I felt like every other day was a cluster feed in the first few weeks. However like elpis said she did often sleep for virutally a whole day afterwards. Hope you get some rest today or tomorrow. It didn't seem possible how much milk she wanted!!

Definitely try infacol (can't do any harm) and regular painkillers - take them like clockwork until you don't need them. Lanisoh.

I also find burping baby regularly during long feeds helps her feed in a more settled way

You may find the dummy works better in a couple of weeks - baby squid spat it out repeatedly until a few days ago.

I had a disturbed night myself, after hoping we'd turned a corner... she wasn't unhappy or crying, but just fidgeting and snuffling and griping all night and I couldn't sleep through it. I feel like there's a particular squid-babysquid dance and if we are coordinated in our efforts to change, feed, burp, cuddle then the night goes smoothly. Last night was a bit like dancing with your dad though... yawn

But it's a nice sunny day and at least she is willing to go in the moses basket for naps now. I have done my workout DVD and had a bit of a tidy. Might go to a park in a bit for a walk and possible read/coffee in the cafe (if she lets me sit still!)

Oh - more on safe co-sleeping guidelines - this is a very useful site, lots of clear and evidence-based info

Infant Sleep Information Source

Disclaimer - I have been a mum for a month and know nothing

The cluster feeding is exhausting but I think it's best to just go with it, trying other things might just be even more frustrating. You can't overfeed a breastfed baby, apparently.

livvy is there anyone who can take babe off you for an hour or two today? My mum saved my life...

bella good to hear about dummies, we have just started using it and I've been feeling a bit guilty... boyfriend texted my sis yesterday (her kids are 8 and 5) to ask whether it was ok to use so early and she texted back "SAVED MY LIFE, GIVE IT TO HER!!"

I know exactly what you mean about boyfriend's life not changing. He is a wonderful dad and devoted and helps out loads, but he can .. go out for a night with his mates, his body is unchanged, he can leave baby without his boobs exploding... he gets 8 hours at work away from it all...

Not that I would like to work right now! Had a horrible dream I was back on the unit with baby squid in a sling and one of the consultants was marching around demanding to know why I hadn't managed to see ANY patients yet, and I was like... I'm so sorry, I can't put the baby down... Hah.

Someone (possibly on the forum, I can't remember) said it is pretty common for the first month or two for mum to be jealous of dad having a life outside baby, and after that when baby is easier for dad to be jealous of mum for getting to chill out with kid 24/7 rather than work!

Just a quick one for Livvy...
I really feel your pain
I think your little one was born just a couple of days after mine, and I was having nights like yours, but it does already seem to have gotten a little better. Last night we had a couple of sleeps of nearly 2 hours, and I seem to be getting better at sleeping inbetween, despite the less than relaxing environment.
I am also forcing myself to sleep during his long, deep daytime naps, even though I hate it - makes me feel like an old woman. But then I don't dread the nights so much, because I accept I won't get any sleep. They are very long and boring though
I don't know much, but I would say its pretty much always food, however much they've already fed. I don't suppose that helps when it feels like your nipples are going to fall off though!
Have you tried some different positions for a better latch? My right nipple in particular is really sore so I tried a different position and it's helped a bit. Still hurts, but I've heard that if it's just painful to start with then it will get better when things toughen up a bit.
When the pain gets really bad, by the evening, I just use the other boob more, and it calms down by morning.
And definitely take more painkillers for the fanjo. Have you got a doughnut cushion? If not, I recommend - especially an inflatable one if you can get one.
Oh, and also, I must confess I don't always do a nappy change at every feed because I just don't want to wake him, and sometimes that'd mean about 100 nappy changes a night!

re dummies, I have been using the Mam newborn orthodontic soother. Heard Nuk also good. The nurse put it in first time and just held it gently towards his lips until he took it and kept her hands there gently in case he spat it out. She did it all very slowly. He's never really had a problem spitting it out unless he's really fractious. Or just loses it in his sleep.

huffle I keep a diary too, have just been doing feeds so far but am going to include naps now as I'm sure I can see long periods of sleep following longer feeds. He usually only goes for about 10-15 mins on one breast before falling asleep - does anyone think I should try and extend this by swapping to other breast before he falls asleep? Or just trust that he has had enough when he falls asleep? I'd love to get three hours between feeds, but I realise he's still only just over a week old, is this unrealistic at this stage? Think we're going to try cluster feeding in the evening to try and fill him up before the night.

Hi cherry you've reminded me - I also don't do a nappy change at each feed, mainly because I don't think he needs it? It seems like he produces more poo than wee, or this maybe because I'm using Pampers and they're quite absorbant and difficult to tell when they are wet?

Someone was asking a while back about checking whether they were peeing - the nurses made me put a cotton wool square in his nappy to see at each change if it was wet and yellow. At the clinic he went more than 24 hours without a wee at first and I was so worried. But he still doesn't seem to be producing the 5 wet nappies a day they say they should?? Or is that just 5 dirty nappies? Soooo many questions!

Oh livvy & huffle, what a rotten night big sympathies but agree sounds like growth spurt so should only last 24-48 hrs we had similar experience last week but since then apart from boob probs bean much more settled, still constant bf from about 6 to 11 but then generally has longer sleep. Am getting good at eating one handed over the top of her with a strategically placed muslin cloth, although DH has to cut up my food quite a lot.

We found giving a bottle of expressed milk in the evening helped but this may just be just that it reassured me she was not hungry, I know this is not ideal from a supply & demand pov as doesn't help boost evening supply but did give my boobs a brief break and keeps her in the habit of taking a bottle for when I go on works Xmas do next month

Agree with squid re dummies, bean just spat it out at first but has 'learnt' to like it and keep it in. We also use white noise and neither of us have a problem sleeping through it.

Sympathy to Angelico but the antibiotics have really helped me so hopefully you'll feel better soon.

Angelico and Midget thanks for the breast feeding info. He never sleeps for more than 2 hours, so I guess I don't have to worry about waking for feeds!

Bella, thanks for your support. We've been out a couple of times now but only between feeds. I want to do a longer trip, but one thing holding me back is clothes - I have nothing to wear! That's nothing that fits and nothing that's suitable for breast feeding in public. No idea when I can get to a shop to buy anything either, or what might be needed.
Sorry your visitors aren't making things easy. I think you're a star for letting any of them come at all.

My best friend and parents are coming at the end of November. I didn't want them to miss it if he was late. So of course he turned up early...
I have MIL but our views are so different, I don't know her enough to feel comfortable around her and communication is so difficult, basically she pisses me off [ungrateful cow emoticon] so I'd rather do it alone. DH works long hours but when he's here he does what he can. But when your breast feeding, there's not much anyone can do really is there?

My little one also feeds for about 15mins at a time and often falls asleep. Midwives at hosp said to tickle their feet and cheeks. They weren't particularly gentle either. I do the pull away thing too, but sometimes that backfires, nipple comes out altogether and it's all over!

Smorgs, yes I'm feeling homesick. I feel bad my parents won't see him til he's a month old, and all the Japanese baby clothes are stupid... I could go on

Squid, thanks for letting us know it gets better! I'm really looking forward to the smiles, the windy ones keep me going for now When you take a bath with Jess, do you need someone there to get her out?

Got to dash - feeding time! Anyone would think I starved the child.