london I just think you are doing so well hang in there and just think that it will get easier - sorry I have no boob advice as am a total amateur and not got a clue what I'm doing myself, just bumbling along really!
squid I can't resist telling my birth story. In fact I seem to tell everyone I meet about the birth, but I think it would be good to write it down as well in order to process it. So here goes:
I was due on Tuesday 16th and went for my MW appointment that pm to be given a sweep. The MW was lovely and a little reluctant to do it because she said it didn't often work for 1st timers but being curious as to the state of my cervix I got it done anyway and lo and behold I was 2cm dilated and even more interesting was that my cervix was apparently very stretchy!! That evening I started having contractions but only about an hour apart. This carried on all night and into the next day. It was nothing major just like bad period pain really. DH worked from home and we had a walk, I finished making some curtains for our new house. By 5pm they we getting closer together - every 10/15 mins or so and I strapped on the tens machine. We then watched tv and the contractions carried on but they were still not too painful - I even managed to bake a cake (badly though cos half of it was burnt and half wasn't cooked at all! I guess I was distracted). The contractions carried on all night - in fact we watched a really good grand designs about the couple that renovated the water tower in London. DH slept and I got in the bath for 3 hours, got very wrinkly and the contractions got stronger and stronger. Still not terrible just increasing in intensity. Finally at 5 am we went to hospital - told a white lie to the hospital about the timings of my contractions but at this point didn't want to be at home anymore. It's strange how I wanted to be in hospital, I know that home birth works so well for a lot of people but I felt a lot of relief just going to hospital!
Anyway in hospital they examined me and I was 4cm, I remember being disappointed that I wasn't more after all that time and hard work but it was enough to be admitted. And once again the MW was surprised by my stretchy cervix, apparently I could have been stretched to 6cm if she wanted!
Then a strange thing happened because my contractions just stopped completely. It must be psychological because it took until 2pm for them to pick up again. The big mistake I made in this time was to eat the cheese omelette! That came back to haunt me later on!
Then at 2.30pm the MW was all for sending me home but thankfully DH got her to examine me and I was 6cm and once again my very stretchy cervix meant that I could have been stretched to 8cm. the MW then got into action and managed to get the pool room for me - she had to put up a fight with another lady who wanted it as well but thank god my MW won and I was straight in the pool. At this point I had had no pain relief, just a few paracetamol and the tens machine at home. The contractions were now really intense and I got some gas and air but being an idiot I couldn't co-ordinate the gas and air mask and being in the pool it was as if my brain could only deal with one of them. The pain was very intense at this point but I just got myself in a rhythm for each contraction of breathing and groaning and squeezing DH's hand. Although most of the natal hypnobollocks went out of the window I do think in my own way I used aspects of it- I kind of got myself in a bit of a trance for each contraction and breathed and groaned my way through it.
The pain was in my back and it did feel like my lower back was going to snap in half. I also really felt like pushing at this point although it must have been way too early. after 4 hours in the pool, I had to get out to go to the toilet and be examined. I couldn't go to the toilet so had to have a catheter and was fully dilated when examined so it was all go at this point. I was now out of the pool and kneeling and leaning over a birthing ball with DH on the other side. I now got into the gas and air in a big way - I love that stuff! I pushed for 2 hours using the gas and air and pushing so hard with each contraction. It was such hard work but also amazing as you could feel the head moving down and getting closer and closer. I just found the pushing bit so empowering. It was so hard and I had a bruised nose from pushing into the gas and air mask so hard but for me it was a really positive experience. The feeling of birthing my baby was just out of this world and I just felt so connected with my body and the baby and DH, who was amazing throughout. He even watched her being born and took photos as well.
Sorry that was a really long post and probably not particularly interesting or dramatic . I was really lucky to have a straightforward birth and the baby was in a good position plus my stretchy cervix came in use. Still I was shell-shocked afterwards and the whole experience took a long time to process. However, I feel totally positive about it, I didn't find the pain unmanageable and although it was very painful and the hardest thing I have ever done physically and mentally I also found it totally empowering especially pushing her out!
I am just in awe of those of you who had complications, I have found it hard enough to process what I went through and I can't imagine how it must feel when things didn't go to plan.
Anyway apologies again for the long story, couldn't resist and I am fascinated to hear other stories as well.
Hope everyone has a lovely calm evening....wishful thinking I know but as calm and peaceful as they can be at least. My Velcro baby is sleeping on me which is lovely because she is so cuddly but feeling a little guilty I haven't tried her in her Moses basket to get her used to it! Oh well they're only this little once and I do love this cuddle time.