October 2012 babies - we meet them at last!

[YompingJo]

Getting thread in place in readiness!

london I know easier said than done but don't panic. Relax as much as you can and get lots of skin to skin. This in itself will help.

Have you tried cross hold, tickle their nose with your nipple and as they open mouth pull them towards it. Always pull baby to boob not other way round or it will hurt. Hand express a little to tempt them. Only express if you have to as can lead to engorgement and pain if you do it to early and increase chance of mastitis. For me sign of a good latch is the ouch toe curling feeling which passes after about 10 seconds. If you are in hospital the Midwifes should be able to help. It sometimes takes a while and babies don't need anything for the first 24 hours. I am no expert but had lots of help with dd1 as she was so tiny. And make sure you have nipple cream as they can take such a hammering. And get support, from midwife, helpline videos on t'interweb. It is not always as easy as people make out.

On phone do not sure who was asking about keeping them awake for feeding...Sign they are hungry is when they root around looking for it so I would feed them then, before any crying and then wake them up again by nappy change and then do other side. If they get too angry it can be harder to get a latch and more stressful for you.

Master midge still like an angel in the day but likes his grub at night. Major sympathies to those dreading half term, I feel your pain. DD also showing challenging moments and my patience is in short supply...she has a stinking cold so constantly telling her off for breathing on the baby. Poor child!

Thanks all - don't know where I read about changing a nappy before a feed but it's never done us any favours And Baby Loopy usually does his business during a feed as well - as if he's making room!

Thanks for the support ladies - it's so hard to find advice that's objective & unbiased rather pro this or that.

I do have an electric pump & started today to expressto help kickstart supply - think it's starting to impact on my hormones as felt uterus contracting afterwards

Just a quick to Smorgs I've cried every day since Baby Loppy was born - mostly because I think I've done something wrong but also because I've been touched or overwhelmed by someone's kindness too! My poor DH probably has no idea where this over emotional woman has come from, I'm usually so together

Congrats to all the new mums!

londonmrs no advice I'm afraid but lots of sympathy. Really really hope things improve quickly, recommend finding any feeding clinics you can and going cos they are helpful.

orange sorry your little boy is struggling. He will get there in the end, maybe it just takes longer the older they are? Hope it's not too painful for you in the meantime, big hug.

smorgs glad things have improved - hormones are mad eh!! - and lucky you getting a dummy in! babypaving still looks like I'm trying to poison him when I give him one, gags and spits it out in revulsion. Gah.

squid, if you were swapping sides each hour when Jess was feeding that frequently your supply will have got the message to ramp up. Definitely go to the clinic to get advice, but I only tend to swap sides after 2 hours to avoid stimulating my supply too much. Not the best advice for everyone, so wait to see what they advise at the clinic - I just know that I suffer with oversupply and that's one of the strategies I use to manage it. Glad you managed to relax and enjoy the time with your Mum.

Thanks everyone for thinking of me last night. It was nowhere near as bad as expected - in fact, babypaving did his first 4hr stretch! But I slept appallingly because I was worried about DS1 - muppet emoticon. It means I'm shattered today and have the most unbelievably splitting headache which will just not shift. I am just wishing the weeks away until things improve....

Still no luck. I'm keeping her against me as much as possible, but she barely even roots for a nipple when I stroke her face. If she does find my nipple she just sort of gives it a sniff, but doesn't even open her mouth for it. I tried popping in a nipple while she was yawning, but I think it took her by surprise too much. Am seeing the midwife tomorrow so will chat to them then. I will persevere. Have had a long chat with hubby and he wants us to be happy most importantly, so made me feel better about formula feeding should it be necessary. I suppose I just thought it would come naturally and as she is such a healthy baby I don''t know why she isn't interested.

I have written my birth story here. It's very long so I don't expect anyone to read it, but it is helping me piece together the events.

I'm sorry I'm so self-involved right now. I promise to catch up with all of you very soon.

crazypaving that makes sense!! Thank you!! I had no idea!! I have been doing lots of feeding/expressing the last week and kind of used either boob quite haphazardly so I'm sure you are right, I didn't realise it would be a problem!
I will go to the clinic anyway and see what they saybut I suspect you have nailed it.
You sound so exhasted... It will get easier (everyone tells me)... hope DS2 repeats the 4hr stretch and you manage to sleep even a little.

londonmrss don't apologise, and you are not self absorbed. Have written you some stuff on your birth story.

Hi ladies. Hugs to london. It's good that your partner is so understanding- don't feel bad if the switch to formula is necessary.
Bad day for me- dd2 was up all night with her cold, I was shattered, and dd1 has been really troubled with her eczema. Hope tomorrow is a better day.
And forgive my baby brain, but the orthodontic soothers-which way up do they go? I've not tried one yet but was just looking at them and my tired brain can't work them out!

squid how do you know if you suffer from oversupply? My boobs are just huge and sore and heavy all the time. I swap sides each feed- hadn't thought if swapping every two hours.

london as others have said, definitely try to get some hands on advice from a MW or bf counsellor. It really helped me, the MW was out 4 times in the last week for regular appts and I took every opp to grill her on bf. so much easier to discuss with someone in front of you rather than trying to piece together complicated instructions on the Internet or looking at videos that are shot from opposite you when all you can actually see when you're bf is a head down view.

squid glad you had a nice weekend and rediscovered some me and boyfriend time. Much as we all love our beans it is important to look after ourselves and recharge as well. Sorry to hear about your expressing issues, were you expressing a lot / frequently? I'm wary of starting to express just yet for similar reasons, currently 11 days.

Hey peeps - quick wave to all - trying to settle the bean but she keeps dozing off then startling herself awake with windmill arms. Have just swaddled her and all seems quiet...

Sympathy to all with boob problems. All I have found helpful is feeding on one boob only at a time. Because she feeds at 2-4 hour intervals it means each boob gets a 6-8 hour rest so nipple never gets too sore. Also each boob gets used to not filling with milk too often, although seems to adapt when she gets a growth spurt. Expressing milk - I have never managed to hand express, just find it too painful After a long ON break or when I get engorged the Tomy Tippee handpump works a treat and is fast although can be sore and doesn't work well unless boob is full to bursting. Medela Swing electric is excellent otherwise but slower, however very comfortable to use and will get a full bottle in 10-15 mins.

Sending hugs to all, especially those with more than one bean to look after. Squid glad you got some down time, getting out is lovely! Yomping hope you are getting on okay and sending a wave to CWest - hope all is well with you!

And October I didn't express at all until 3 weeks when I got really engorged when milk came in again for some reason. Just after 4 weeks before I started deliberately expressing to collect milk and think it's a good time, boobs are ready for it. Definitely faster in the morning although I tend to express right before bed if bean is sleeping up with DH to give me a rest - find if I feed on left and express on right around midnight boobs are nice and 'empty' overnight so can sleep in peace till 8 or 9 in morning without them exploding.

lizzie & squid: disclaimer, don't try the 2hr thing unless advised by someone who really knows what they're talking about! You could risk reducing your supply. I'd urge you to go to a feeding clinic and get face to face advice. Just letting you know what's worked for me.

Utter nobbing bollocks... 19 pages? How on earth am I supposed to catch up?

Just wanted to say I'm still alive, but honestly, how much time do babies take up? I start every day zombielike with a list of things to finally get done that day, and by the end of the day I have done none of them and added another 5 things on to the list!

Alice is 9 days old, gorgeous, and thriving. I am a sleep-deprived milking machine, but loving every chaotic minute of it! She casts a spell over everyone she meets and we are loving showing her off to friends and family.

I will try today to at least read everything since I last posted, and will pledge to share my birth story in the next couple of days.

Hope you are all doing well and enjoying motherhood!

Ha ha Yomping , you echo my sentiments exactly!!!! I hav valiantly tried to read back but just cannot do!! How can staying at home all day looking after 1 little person take so little time??! Yesterday we decided not to go out at all, previous3 all had a trip out, just to see if felt more in control...... NOPE!!

Well, keep coming up for air, we will find normality soon!! Xx

Ok, so here's an odd question....... How often do you wash boobs when BF? I try to hav a bath once a day with essential oils to help bits ( and no way is scent putting junior off, don't think anything puts junior off......) But it is occurring to me that perhaps I am being seriously unhygienic shoving my nipple in his mouth unclean?? Problem is that I'm using loads if Lansinoh ( thank god for) and it won't just rinse off with a quick splash. I refuse to wash them with any soap or shower gel outside of the once as will dry up thin skin even more. I am using the ventilated breast shells ( lifesaver number 2) and think the silicon against skin makes boobs but sweaty. Don't want to be giving DS bacteria...

Any comments??

Xx

Just posted this on the anti-natal thread and copying to this one...

Hello lovely ladies! Sorry for long silence on my part.. my little DD was born on 16 October by induction as planned at 38 weeks 4 days the labour was v intense lasting 7 hours from first pessary (no need for second) to birth but retrospectively I feel good about it. she was 3.05kg and in v good health. I will write the birth story later.

She is a very calm baby sleeping up to 5 hours between feeds at night and easy to settle during the day, breastfeeding going well and all really going very smoothly.. though I have had a few niggling feelings/fears about attachment and bonding as I don't feel very strong emotions for her... it is very strange I do everything for her with love and care and I like doing it but when I look at her I don't have that gooey loved up feeling. I spoke to DH and Mum about it and they both agree it will come and grow over time and I am sure it will but in the meantime I feel quite sad that I don't feel head over heels in love with her as many others do..

I am so happy to hear all the good news from all of you, I read the whole anti-natal and the post-natal thread last night while feeding, it is such a nice feeling to think of you all out there doing the same thing as me.. but I am sorry to hear of all the struggles too, especially with breastfeeding and getting over a traumatic labour... I hope things settle down soon and we can all get some proper sleep... (wishful thinking probably!)

Well done Liege and welcome back!!! Congratulations!!

I too have struggled with the rush, not quite feeling it. I know I do love DS and am so pleased to hav him, but I am not gooey eyed, no. I dud hav a v traumatic birth which as yet I hav not shared, and a slow poorly hospital recovery. I find myself impassively watching DH love him so much......

But I am not stressing about this. I know I love him and I know I am totally and utterly drained and exhausted by a high demand breast fed baby! It will improve, I hav no doubt. Glad to hear others feel similar

Hugs xx

Thanks for the thoughts huffle I think you are right that one shouldn't stress about these apparently "lacking" feelings.. I am hoping it's a slow burner and I will grow to love her as much as DH does.. It is surprising to me how she is completely enchanting to him (and to my mother and PIL) while I have been carrying her for nine months and yet find it hard to feel a deep connection. But as you say I know I love her and am happy to have her I just sort of miss that "in love" feeling.

Your experiences of labour sound traumatic not to mention the recovery in hospital I hope you are getting some help from family and friends now that you are home. I was in hospital for 4 days after the birth (routine in Belg) and then my mother came last Sunday for 10 days and after that DH has 1 week off so I haven't yet been on my own with her and my Mum has been packing me off to bed for afternoon naps.. I really am so lucky and with such a calm baby I can't complain at all...

xxx

Hi everyone and welcome to all the new arrivals. I posted a few days ago about my LO baby olives, she was born on 18th October so is 10 days old now. I'm just after some advice really. She is so gorgeous and is quite a calm baby really. She is feeding well and the sore nipples have got so much better - lansinoh is my best friend!

The only problem is that she will not be put down. She hates the Moses basket and the pram! We've been trying her in the Moses basket every day which we warm up with a hot water bottle and I put in something that smells of me as well and we swaddle her. But however settled she is when she goes in after 5 minutes she is awake and crying. So at night we've been co-sleeping with her. It's so much easier and the last few nights we have all slept really well. But I am so worried about it, we've followed all the safety guidelines - the duvet and pillows are nowhere near, she sleeps next to me, we don't smoke and I don't drink etc... Can anyone who co-sleeps reassure me please that I'm not going to squash her!? Or that she's not going to roll out of bed! I've been looking at getting a co-sleeper cot but they're so expensive I don't know whether to or just try and persevere with the Moses basket. I can feel myself getting stressed about it and it doesn't help when DM and MIL are asking all the time about whether she is sleeping in the Moses basket or not and are we trying her in it and how they can't understand what the problem is etc...

Any advice would be very welcome!
Sorry for such a long post.

Liege I felt that way about DS and it does creep up on you. I think I had to get to know him and build that bond, like any other relationship. I fell head over heals the first time I saw DD though. They are all different. On the other hand, I would have said that DS was a beautiful baby, whereas DD is....um, she's very cute, but she wasn't exactly pretty . She is growing into her looks now that the milk spots are fading and her eyes are open a lot more.

huffle I have been showering every day, sometimes twice, because I am very leaky and feel like I smell of stale milk. Yuk! Also don't like the idea of putting nipple in DD's mouth if there is day old milk on my skin.

Going to brave bottle at next feed. Wish me luck!

I've just had to sort out DD's clothes because she's grown out of loads of it. A newborn babygrow that fit her on wednesday is now way to short. I can't believe it's 4 weeks today.

Huffle I wouldn't worry about boob washing to much if I were you, you're right it'll just dry them out more. From the dim days of my a-level biology I think the normal skin bacteria help protect from nasty bugs by out competing them so it won't hurt for the bean to be exposed to them. The other thing to try is rubbing breast milk on after each feed, this helped me and is antibacterial too.

Liege I am reliably informed occasionally wanting to throw the little nipple ruining parasite out of the window is normal. I share your feelings, DH is totally besotted and keeps banging on about how wonderful she is whereas I am much less lovestruck. He did get more sympathetic when she sucked his finger for a bit and he realised how powerful she is!

Still on my own with her for the first day in a while and actually enjoying it with no irrational blubbing so far so on the up this end!

x posted Olives

We co-sleep too and I think it's great! You won't squash her for the same reason that you don't fall out of bed yourself. We sleep but not that deep. Also if you are BF the hormones make your more aware and alert to your baby (you should keep baby on your side, not the Fathers side of the bed because he doesn't have this). If other people ask, you could tell them that many other cultures in the world co-sleep as the norm and getting her into a basket isn't a priority right now, sleep is a priority and if co-sleeping works for you, why not do it?

Welcome back liege, hi huffle - chalk me up as a third on the 'why does DH seem to be more in love with the baby than me?' list. Like you two, I'm not worried. I assume the Love Truck will run me down eventually...

Baby Planktonini is going to the osteopath today. He gets awful gas after every feed - cries and cries, then burps, then no more crying. The guy I'm taking him to has done wonders for my back, and I know him well so I know he's not one of the dreadful hippy bullshit takes-it-too-seriously types. Will report back.

Am currently in love with the cleaning lady. She runs a business - motherslittlehelpers.com - that basically covers anything new mums might need. Cleaning, hot meals, massage, little bundles of second hand newborn clothes for a fiver... Just signed up for the nappy service, £11 a week. Probably can't afford it for the long term (£572 a year!), but right now it's genius.

Also - I had my doubts about the vibrating chair that baby's Grandfolks/Great grandma bought him. I take it all back, it's genius! We pop him in it when he's fussy, and three minutes later - BAM! Asleep. Admittedly Planktonini is a very very cruise bubba, but still, it's pretty damn impressive. (Fisher Price, if you want to have a look at one!)

(Lastly - PMSL at my friend's description of her MLBU: 'a room full of equipment that, in any other context, you would assume were for having sex.' Couldn't be more true!)

Just some reassurance for those waiting for the "rush of love" - I didn't feel it with DS1. I felt very protective of him, and definitely knew he was cute and beautiful. I cared for him lovingly, and was a very responsive mum, but it was a slow burn to reach the length, breadth and depth of feeling I have for him today (which is FIERCE!) He's nearly 8. It didn't take YEARS, but it was months before I fell for him.

With DS2 it was INSTANT. BAM! I think 2nd time around everything is more familiar IYSWIM

Thanks wantanorange I guess I just need a bit of reassurance that it's ok. I hadn't done much research about co-sleeping when I was pregnant because I just assumed that she would sleep in the Moses basket. It's funny how you anticipate totally different issues than you actually get. I was worried about breast feeding and apart from the very sore nipples at the start it's going ok so far. It just never crossed my mind that she would hate to be put down. She even hates the pram and I thought all babies liked to be walked in the pram!

I also think it's very easy to get stressed and preoccupied, I need to learn to relax and just go with her and her needs a bit more, she is only 10 days old.