Dec 08 Mums - still biffing on

[LadyThompson]

Yes, yes, it's a bit lame. I wanted to say: "Still fucking on!" but wary of causing offence....

I know 'biffing' is a bit PG Wodehouse, as well. You'll just have to humour me

ZJ I think our DDs must be pretty similar. Took us ages to contemplate DD2 but she is such a little chilled out poppet that having sworn beforehand there was no WAY I would have a third, I am now softening to the idea (though still only a vague possibility). Re BLW - porridge fingers always went down well with my two, both BLW-ers. Actually I've been doing a bit of spoon feeding with DD2 as she lets me - DD1 wouldn't let a spoon near her mouth EVER so absolutely everything was proper solids from the word go, but DD2 is very partial to a bit of porridge or lentil dahl so we do that too. Fruit is of course always a winner. Peas are brilliant for practicing that pincer grip..

I also make lollies and ice cream quite a lot now. Basically just frozen smoothies with fresh fruit which DD1 is sceptical of (essentially because it's not a mini milk..) but DD2 absolutely loves - I freeze it in tiny little weaning pots and then let it melt a bit and feed it to her as a slush which she adores. Maybe the cold helps with teething too.. (Am assuming she's teething simply because she's 9 months and has no teeth yet, but no sign of them either..)

Mine were BOTH up at 4.40am today. Ugh. DD1 is going to be SO hideously grumpy by 5pm. Does anyone have any suggestions re early waking? I'm kind of resigned to it with DD2 as she's only a baby and I'm sure it will change at some point anyway, but DD1 is getting up earlier and earlier, then is massively overtired and hideously grumpy by late afternoon. If I put her to bed early, she just gets up even earlier. Any ideas??

Hi Kiwi - we're getting DD1 a clock from Mothercare that shows them when it's time to get out of bed. I think it's called a Groclock - anyway, it's here and meant to be quite good. But only, I guess, if your DD1 is happy to do as told. The other thing my friend does it put her DD to bed with a few books in her bed and tells her under no circumstances to come out until called to on pain of no treats!! Can you put her to bed later? It works with our DD1, but not DD2.

So, sadly have had bad news on Dad. Honestly, this is like emotional rollercoaster from hell. He met with the radiographer yesterday and the new tumour in his leg is very aggressive and growing very fast. As a result, he now needs 3 weeks of radiotherapy, not the 5 days as originally thought. So it means he won't be able to get his final summer in North Wales, where he loves so much. Fortunately, he popped up for a week last week and managed to play some golf and go sailing, but he won't get the time with his grandchildren that he was so hopeful of. And, the horrible reality is that he probably won't be around to do it next summer, or if he is, he'll be terribly ill.

I know that's not the be all and end all, but it does seem like extra sand thrown in his face. The radiotherapy won't get rid of the tumour, but will hopefully stop it growing and will help with the pain. Mum says he is frequently grey with pain and can hardly manage the stairs any more. She wants to move his bedroom downstairs at home, but he won't hear of it yet. I think he doesn't want to admit that that time has now come. I think they'll wait til after the radiotherapy, unless the pain really does get too much. Sadly, they can't operate on the tumour if the radiotherapy doesn't work, as it's too near his vital organs. And he is now too weak to have chemo again. It would kill him.

He's off to the hospice on Friday to talk about pain management and get some massive painkillers. All rather horrific and depressing. I think we've had a lovely reprieve and now the real business of cancer is setting in. It's going to be a taxing time for a while. Mum said Dad was in floods last night, just with the pain and from having to tell us the bad news. Although he did want to do it himself. Must be so very very hard for them both.

Anyway, must go and play with my little bears, who are a welcome relief from my weeping and gnashing of teeth!

x

KIwI that is odd, ours were both up at 4.40 this morning too! I think we have non-sleeping twins! B was also up every hour in the night (that'll teach me to mention that B once slept through last week, ZJ) though I think it's teeth.
Out only way of getting through the day when T is up so early is to drive somewhere around lunchtime and give him half an hour's nap. Any longer and he's bouncing off the walls at 9pm, but it's enough to stop total meltdown by 5pm.
I have also realised that I forgive B his hideous nights "because he's still just a baby". But he's 19 months old. Oh dear. BEans, how are your nights going on the new regime?

Hello, JJ! .
Have a lovely break, Lady.
Vag , random question, did you like living in Derby? I ask because I saw on Location x3 the other day that a woman bought a house there for a very reasonable price. (And of course I want to bore you all with my ever-changing moving plans ).

x-posts with BEans. So sorry to hear about your dad. It must be heartbreaking to be so aware of dying, for all of you . I hope he has good care from the hospice. He sounds like a very brave man (and your mum too). Lots of hugs from here. xxxx

Oh, and on the Gro clock thing - we have one for T but he just ignore it. Comes charging into our room telling us it's clearly daytime as it's so light, and there's something wrong with his clock as it seems to say it's nighttime. T one honest though, as B is up around 5 anyway, it's a bit pointless as I'd rather have them both awake at the same time, rather than having to keep one quiet for fear of not waking the other, IYSWIM. I'm sure they're more effective if you have deep sleeping other children and/or your child is not as determined as mine to prove you wrong.

Spot - I can't even talk about nights with DD2. Suffice to say I have passed over responsibility for night waking to DH as he has simply been unable/unwilling to unite with me to try to beat the night waking and I am so furious with him that I told him last night that from now on he can deal with it. I don't know if he thought I was being serious or not. But I so was. He just gets straight up and goes to her with no heeding my advice from expert, which I passed onto him in detail. I'm done.

Beans sending you much love and strength. xx

Beans I'm so sorry to hear your news. Hope he manages to get a bit more relief for the pain. And that you can find some peace and comfort. Much love. FWIW I think your plan with your DH is thoroughly sensible.

We've just got back from a weekend in the Alps. Friend's wedding which was really lovely - DD1 was a bridesmaid and super-cute. Am supposed to be working though so will try and catch up later.

So sorry to hear about your Dad, Beans. Hope you're playing in the sunshine with your lovely girls.

So sorry about your Dads news Beans he sounds like a lovely man, it just isn't fair.

DS has this clock it worked well at first then the novelty wore off and he ignores it now, but still a good time teaching aide

We bought a sleepy rabbit trainer clock for DD when she was younger. However, she got very upset and it was mysteriously broken. She was outraged by the idea that we were not dying to see her 24 hours a day!

Gosh, I'm sorry to hear the bad news about your Dad Beans, I wish my arms were long enough to reach out and hug you from here xx

kiwi how do porridge fingers work? I assume you need to do more than just make porridge and shape it? Does it need baking, or just making really thick?

I meant to say about your book spot, although I'm probably not your target and so might be no help, I always enjoy reading your blog and it often makes me think about how to get through bad days. So if you need a different reader, I'd be a willing candidate

Oh Beans. I'm so sorry to hear the news about your Dad. Sending you much love x

Oh lovely Beans, I'm so sorry about your darling dad. Will keep you all in my prayers and hope he can get some comfort to enjoy his time with you and the girls.
Sleep - we have a gro clock for S, sometimes it works and it did for a while to begin with, now it's just the daylight that makes her think its up time. We have tried to crackdenify their room, but there's a window on the landing that means if she gets up for a wee, she thinks it's daytime.
Dh has just written to his senior partner saying he's no longer happy/ willing to refer women for terminations. We're both catholic, him cradle and me from later in life. This is really hard, I'm a strong believer in a woman's right to determine what happens to her own body but equally believe that life begins at conception rather than birth (horrible hypocrite as I've had the MAP more than once). This is also starting to raise conplications in our discussions about where we send S for school - local diocesan policy on sex ed is that children should be taught that sex outside marriage is wrong, and contraception is sinful, and only people approved by the diocese should be allowed to teach this subject. I really don't want my daughters being taught these things. It's going to make for an interesting 6 months as we decide where to apply for her!

So sorry to hear that beans. Lots of love to you. Hospices are lovely, caring places. They can offer lots of help and support for your mum as well as your dad.

Zj mini shredded wheat, pancakes with blueberries, eggy bread... erm will think of more tomorrow!

Just finished packing for camp bestival. Dh wants to set off at 4am. Bonkers!

Hello everyone . Sorry for no post but laptop broken so on iPad which I find very hard to touch type on. Have had a quick read so forgive me for no personals.

Lovely beans, I am so sorry the news is not good for your dad. Am thinking of you all and sending love.

Right, will try to pop on later.

Love o you all.

So sorry to hear about your dad Beans, he must be in so much pain, poor man. Please come here as often as you need to talk about what you are going through. Also sorry your DH isn't on board with the sleep thing. With all you are going through this is something you need to sort out with as least stress as possible.

Spot I really liked Derby. If you do decide to move to the area I would recommend renting for a few months then working out where you would want to live. There are lots of lovely little villages around which are very friendly, or if you do want to be in town there are big variations between areas, but in general most are still quite nice.

Sorry gotta go will add more later though before I go will ad to Nolda I've got that push up app too I love it

Oh Beans I'm so sorry too. It must be so so hard. As others have said hospices are pretty amazing places, I hope you all get a lot of support. Lots of virtual hugs.

ZJ - porridge fingers - do you have a microwave? If so the BLW cookbook recipe (and I'm pasting this from an old email as I don't actually have that book but someone sent it to me): 3 tablespoons oats, 3 tablespoons milk, pat into the bottom of a flat dish & 3 mins in the microwave. I've only just bought my first ever microwave so haven't actually tried it, I used to do it in oven. I also add raisins as my DDs love them, and I either use water or oat milk as DD1 doesn't have cows milk and DD2 is still Boobmonster. Also, JBs pancake suggestion is a briliant one - I'd forgotten all about that but DD1 used to LOVE pancakes made from a bit of flour, a bit of egg and a piece of fruit all whizzed up in our superduper blender then fried in pan (so no sugar, just sweetness from the fruit). Sorry for rather vague measurements but as long as it's thickish it'll work..!

Hey from California,

Just catching up on the hotel WiFi because the girls begged to have a quiet morning playing under their bed while DH exchanges our hire car whose indicator broke mid six lane highway (that was FUN).

Beans, so sorry to hear about your dad. There are no words really. I remember this stage well. In my Mums case the hospice managed to give her great pain meds and really enhanced her quality of life. Does your Dad definitely want the radiotherapy rather than a last summer in Wales?

JJ - your DH's decision sounds momentus. And the catholic schooling choices sound hard. TBH I am an athiest so your dilemmas are far from anything i can imagine grappling with. I have been thinking a lot about religion this week as the wedding we came over for was super religious although very different A's the couple are Quakers (missionaries no less). The wedding was 48 hours of intense spirituality and I did actually try and believe because it all seemed so comforting (and magical in a gorgeous retreat centre in the Californian giant redwood firests)but I just could not feel it. DH did. He has always believed but not practised but he reckons that the wedding weekend made him want to explore Quakerism. It could be interesting if he goes down an active worship route when I am so sceptical.

Rubes, your company did you proud on our flight over. I forgot to order DD2 gluten free but they magiced up special meals for her and were so kind. TVs broke down mid flight though. It was a tense 90 mins (the plane was FULL of kids) before they got them working again.

Right better go. We are off to the beach. We have had are ups and downs so far, DD2 threw up for first 48 hours incl throwing up inches from the brides' White dress while being a flower girl! Biggest highlight so far was whale watching and seeing an actual Blue Whale plus 17 humpbacks!

Sorry to all the non sleepers.

Right back again. Anyway short answer Spot is yes it's nice in derby, however, you are about the furthest you can ever get from a coast. So if you enjoy being able to get to the seaside, not a great location. Anyway, if you are seriously thinking about it let me know I can get the lowdown on places to live for the 'good schools' from friends who still live there. Unfortunately, our tennant has just signed on for another 2 years so can't offer you cheap rent to try it out.

Wow Obes blue whales, amazing. I had a friend who was a Quaker, seems a nice religion.

JJ that is quite tough, in my code of conduct I don't have to carry out any treatment or care which I do nit agree with, or cannot condone, whether due ro religion or just personal belief. However, obviously referring is something very different. There are certain treatments I am not completely comfortable with, but I take the view that if it offered by the health service I am working for I will carry out the care. Also a little different in kids nursing as parents themselves are the ones making difficult consent decisions and probably dealing with a lot of guilt and emotion so it's not for me to add judgement to that. However, I respect your DHs decision and imagine it was a hard one to make. On the school thing, we inadvertently sent the boys to a Christian Montessori school here, we thought it was named after someone called Christian when we first found it and ds1 was accepted. But it seems to be more about teaching kids to live well and to be generous, kind, honest etc rather than teaching any moral rules. Also it is completely free as apposed to state schools which you pay a small fee dependant on your income. Also they are pretty hot on sex education here and i think the state doesn't allow them to not teach about sex and sexual health.

Have had a lovely few days of amazing weather and lots of beach time. By way of making up for the crappy weather, the North sea has decided to mimic it's mediterranian cousin and warmed up to a pleasant temperature. I had a lovely long ocean swim without a wetsuit on Tuesday afternoon and then DH bought the boys over and we met some friends for dinner on the beach. The boys were still swimming at 9 pm! We had such a nice time we did the same tning last night. Even managed a bit of bodysurfing as the waves were small but decent. I'm hoping that when we get back from London we will be able to get out for a surf if the weather stays as it is. Had a small wobble yesterday morning as had met some friends at a beach cafe further up than our local one, the beach was really busy as it is close to a more populated area and lots of people go there. Anyway I lost sight of ds2 for what seems like 10 minutes but was more like 2 minutes. We were all out looking for him. I was getting ready to contact the beach rescue people when a lady came wandering over with him. She had found him at the too of the beach he had wandered a little too far away and couldnt see our spot. I cyddled him so tight, he was so upset. He has a real fear of getting lost and often says he has nightmares about being lost. Poor little poppet. We knuffled extra tight.

We are catching the boat tomorrow night, getting very excited about coming over. Is anyone up for Wednesday arvo, somewhere near where Beans said (where did you say Beans?) Or should we all trunfle down to Brighton. I don't have a car but could catch the train down and meet in the center somewhere?

Just posting from iPhone so quick one but Vag i am totally up for weds pm but wouldn't have time to go down to Brighton (DD1 at nursery so need to be back to pick her up).

Ah of course pick ups etc. Sorry Cat I tried. We have all trawled down to the beach for breakfast, DH with his laptop working, we want to enjoy the sunshine, just in case it isn't here when we get back.

hi.
Beans I'm sorry to hear the bad news about your dad. I've never gone through what your family is going through but I will be praying for you all.
JJ I think your dh has been brave in writing that letter and following his conscience. Re the school thing, is the diocese policy not in line with your catholic beliefs?
I have come up against simliar issues at work, in fact I see teenage girls most weeks who have had unprotected sex and I give them the MAP. I believe that sex was designed for within marriage (yes I waited!) and am uncomfortable with the idea of a termination. However the MAP that I give works by thickening the mucous etc and by making the lining of the uterus really rubbish, so that fertilisation and the bit where it embeds in the uterus can't occur, so I feel a bit happier that it prevents it becoming a life, rather than ending a life. Having said that, even if it ended a life I think I would give it because most of these girls that I see are 14 years old, with low self esteem, who got drunk and made stupid decisions. They are not ready to be mothers. But it's so hard. And just to be clear, I would never judge or think badly of anyone who had chosen to have a termination.
Also I have to do sex ed lessons in a catholic high school and according to their policy I'm not allowed to mention contraception. I can talk about the use of a condom to prevent STIs but not to prevent pregnancy. But I'm not allowed to show them a condom (not even in a packet!). The other schools I go to have a full lesson on contraception and a condom demonstration. It seems a bit crazy to me because the kids are not all at a catholic school because they are catholic - it's often the parents' choice - and they are still teenagers, going out and getting themselves in risky situations, so I think they should get the same education as all the other schools. We don't promote sex but we just give the message that delaying sex is the best option, but if they do have sex, we want them to do it safely.
obe that's interesting about the Quaker wedding. I don't know much about Quakers. Is there lots of quiet contemplation? Or am I mixing it up with something? My cousin had a Pagan wedding a few years ago. It was proper full on pagan stuff with chants and cloaks and hand fasting and all sorts. I actually felt quite uncomfortable but my cousin came to my (christian) wedding so I couldn't really not go to his!
Well I just got back yesterday from the church kids camp - we had a fab time, despite the fact that it rained almost constantly! It was exhausting but such fun (said in Miranda's mum's voice I'm just trying to catch up with washing now, but also pack boxes for the move, and not pack anything which I need to pack for our hols to Cornwall next weekend! My house is full of boxes and clutter and piles of clothes!
Sorry I've waffled on rather.
Just watching the opening ceremony. I thought it was pretty impressive actually - all the industrial revolution stuff especially. Was a bit underwhelmed by Emile Sande though.
SOrry I'm waffling again.
Right I think I'll go to bed. We're only up to Ireland in the athletes....
Night night - I'll try to be less waffly and self centred when I come back xxx