Thaleia I was a lot like that with my first. Looking back I think I probably did have a form of post natal illness but because I was anxious rather than depressed I didn't twig. He was a very bad sleeper and in my experience that takes so much of the potential for enjoying it away because you are just so tired and that, of course, bleeds into every aspect of your life - you feel resentful, can't think straight, have a hair-trigger temper and then you feel very guilty for all those things and for not enjoying your baby as much as you feel you should.
I couldn't even rest when someone else took him because I had awful separation anxiety and would just lie on my bed all tense and imagining terrible things happening to him. I really thought about him dying all the time.
I have to say that it gets harder in some ways - because they become more complex as little people but I do find my toddler a lot more interesting for longer periods of time than my little baby. She is beautiful and smiley but after you've cooed and played with her for a bit you want to do something else!
I used to go for long walks with the pram when DS was tiny and non-sleepy. That did help my mood but I used to get even more tired. We went to some mum-and-baby groups but possibly not enough. I think you should aim to see other mums for an hour or so nearly every week day if possible. I think things like baby sensory or baby massage are just as much for the mothers as they are for the little ones. I used to go to a free postnatal group run at a local childrens' centre on Mondays and to rhyme time at the library sometimes.
It is great once they are walking - but you have to be prepared to go and steer them away from the telly/DVD/other things they shouldn't touch 50 times a day. Saying 'no' doesn't work at that age so you have to physically move them and distract them. They also fall over a lot and haven't got any sense of what's safe so it is a bit stressful. DS was a late walker - 15 months I think he finally let go of my hand. Each stage has its good and bad aspects.
Some people just adore small babies and I can see the appeal - they are lovely but if I had to choose I prefer children that you can interact with verbally and have a laugh with (even if it is only poo jokes). Having had one before though, and knowing she is my last I am enjoying every day - doesn't mean I am not bored and tired at times. And guilty, always guilty that I'm not doing enough, that I'm not a good enough mother, that I am too selfish and just want to go on the internet and watch telly when I have these precious beings that do grow up too fast.