Dec 08 Mums - Breech babies, bedtimes, boozing and Bikram

[KiwiPanda]

Um sorry about rubbish title

Vag I have come to apologise for my awful drawing in Draw Something. It looks nothing like its meant to and looks quite rude

I had hoped something was happening today as I had to take DS2 to playschool. But the walk doesn't seem to have helped.

Hello everyone,

Lots of posts to read. Nice to see everyone! Urbane Sorry to hear about the flu. Very grim.

I'm off to bed in a mo. I've got a Nancy Mitford book on the go and I'm near the end.

Had a really busy day at work, picked girls up, came home and found myself expected to pop my pinny on and cook tea for Dh and fil who were watching the football, while doling out post nursery snacks and soothing overtired children. Did I come home to the 1950s? Grrr.

Good morning all, have been lurking but not posted. Weather is dismal here, it's my morning off but I have a slight strain in my lower calf so after a bit of a good wifely tidy I am having a coffee and resting my leg. Race on Sunday was great, really lovely day and got a good time and placed 29th in my group (top 30 finish Kiwi). It was in a massive park in Rotterdam which had the most fabulous play area, really the best I've ever seen. It was a ladies run so lots of pink and fun women, really nice atmosphere.

kiwi I saw you on that Vegetarian thread.

kayz I laughed at the picture, very funny.

Hi Urbs sorry about the lurgy.

Sorry about all the jabbed children, I'm not sure when they do them here, I think in another year. The boys got so stabbed when we first got here to catch up with the regime of vaccinations they have here that I think they are done for a lifetime.

Right I need to go do something, we are going to a 80's party on the weekend and we are going as early 80's Goths.

Vag, is that the thread about the osteo telling the woman to give up vegetarianism in pregnancy? I had just read the first couple of pages. FFs. Mind you, I have been a veggie for nearly 30 yrs so I suppose I would say that....

I love Nancy Mitford, JB. Such a treat. I have just started the last M. Amis novel. Liking it so far but I am a fan.

Sorry you had 'flu, Urbs - proper 'flu really is HORRENDOUS isn't it? Only had it once. Couldn't lift my head from the pillow.

Just been speaking to my stepmother. Can't believe it's nearly 8 mths since my Dad died. I wish I could help her more...I know her days must be so hard (no kids and her brother lives in Cornwall)...

Anyway, just dashing on and now I have to urge the nipperinos up to bed.

Hello there! Back from a very wet week in Nofolk with MIL driving me insane. Now the children are driving me bonkers as they won't go to bed. It's half 8, for god's sake.

Beans, I am with you on the lard. Have started a major diet including no drink for 2 weeks! vineyards will close, france will go into an economic decline and majestic will pass into administration.

I am a bit slack on jabs. DS has had the first MMR. DD2 has not yet had her pre school boosters. She's been at school for nearly a year. Still, she's not caught tetanus yet.

Right, off for the diet supper. I'll try to write more tomozza.

LOve to all X

Evening all,

Vag Brilliant fancy dress! My friend was a goth and we used to go to a rock.club that had an 'old school' goth night. All corsets, poetry and dancing to white wedding by Billy Idol. My friend is an accountant now! :)

Ladyt Finished 'the blessing' last night. I really enjoyed it. She seems to be quite underated as a writer.

Sybs Maybe once you restart on the bottle start on Spanish wine. They need a lift!

I am sitting here watching the BBC docu series about Great Ormond Street. I am in tears already. I am not sure why I watch this given the effect it has on me but I do find it inspiring as well. My childhood ambition was to be a paediatrician but I didn't have the self belief to go for it.

Urbs, I'm glad your friends have been in contact with Mrs Sleep. I hope she can help them. Sorry you have been so ill, are you properly better now?

LadyT, you asked whether I have summer holiday plans and I am so glad you did as I love talking about it. We are flying to California for the wedding of a friend of my Mum's who has been an amazing support to me and has waited years to find the right man. She is marrying in Santa Cruz, just south of San Francisco. The girls are her bridesmaids. Because my step father lives nearby he is paying for our flights which makes the trip possible and is interesting as him and I have never been remotely close. While out there we are going to Yosemite National Park, hump back whale watching in Monterey and staying with some old friends in San Francisco. Then we are flying back via family in New England and a commune in Vermont! Too much detail I know but the thought of it all keeps me going through this horrible damp greyness that has become a permanent fixture in the UK.

I really hope your trip with the girls to Spain is enjoyable. You are a pretty intrepid lady!

Jolly, ages ago you posted about your kidneys finally returning to normal. I don't think I ever posted my intended reply which was HOORAY! I am so pleased for you.

Sybs, good luck with the alcohol free diet.

Wow obs that sounds amaZing. Any room in your suitcase for me? I fold up quite small..

Vag well done!! Bloody brilliant! Sounds like a really lovely event too. And yes that vegetarian thread made me so cross - idiot osteopath. Honestly, some people shouldn't be allowed to call themselves professionals. Poor woman, being given that so-called advice when she is so vulnerable anyway. And what would he make of my two little veggie babies? They seem to be growing quite nicely without meat..

I went to an evening speed training session last night, first one since I officially joined my running club. It was fun actually. Hooray for it not raining (standards are now this low) for the duration

Hello. Went to see One Man, Two Guvnors last night. Bloody brilliant. Has anyone else seen it? Was my first trip back to London since moving out. Was v nice, but I am still glad we made the move. I enjoyed it, though.

Had supper at a delicious Thai restaurant, but my oldest sister and I are both suffering from food poisoning this morning! No good!

Anyway, I have a friend coming over soon, so am in the throws of making lasagne, but trying not to sniff it!

You're all so quiet. I think it makes us all quiet!

xx

I took my niece to see that last week beans - loved it - absolutely roared with laughter. Much as I would love to think am more sophisticated I laugh the most at a bit of slapstick. Sorry about food poisoning though.

I am on the top deck of a bus for the first time in years. And am really enjoying view of London. Am such a saddo but if I'm ever on buses it's with buggies so consigned to lower deck. Although saying that while I've been typing this I've missed my stop . See you later. Maybe. Depending on me being able to actually find my way home...

Urbs Hope you got home okay!

Beans Food poisoning sounds grim. Hope your okay.

Obes Your summer jollies sound fab!

DS back at pre school yesterday and so it begins...he is now being 'observed' by them to see if they can see what triggers his hitting others etc. I have never felt like such a crap parent in all my life! I actually wish right now I had stopped at one DC. I find no joy whatsoever in being his mother on days like this and that makes me feel even worse. I envy other people with children who 'seem' to behave well, and I wish he was more like others. He is just a little boy but I can't help feel that something I have or haven't done has broken him somewhere along the line and I really don't know how to fix it. Why does he get so angry?? I wouldn't mind but he doesn't see that kind of aggression here or on the TV (that I can think of). But I can't help feel that I am being judged by them and the other bloody parents who are always 'listening' in when I am being told of of his behaviour! Ground.open.up.and. swallow.me.

PS Sorry for my self indulgent whinging. I hope everyone else well x

Oh Deids, you sound so down with all this, I wish I could give you and him a little cuddle. I don't want to brush off your concerns but could it all not just be that big infusion of hormones that hits them at this age. Apparently 3.5-4+ year old boys gets a hit of testosterone equivalent the one they get at 14 year olds. That's bound to make even mother Theresa (RIP) aggressive. And as for the 'observing', shouldn't they be observing him all the time? Isn't that their job. At least they are seeing if there is anything which annoys him that they can then in the future avoid. Ds2 has had a few little barney's at the end of nursery laterly and i know exactly what the problem is, they only allow a piece of fruit for snack time. The poor little fella is starving and low on sugar by the time I pick him up and more often than not loses it a little bit.

Can I make you a cuppa Deids? Or a martini.

Oh deids. So hard - I've read that thing about testosterone too. Fwiw I think that it's really hard work teaching children how to manage their anger - which is why so many people never learn. And if you get the testosterone rush early on its even more tricky as the child is less capable of reasoning. I also think - from what I've seen of ds and his chums - that little boys can be quite shockingly violent. Am sure it will get better (this too will pass?) and you will reap rewards of having sorted it. And as for other judgy parents only a complete clown thinks anything other than "there but for the grace..." it's entirely human and natural anyway to want to clock someone fwiw with dd (who has a fearsome temper) we've found that distracting her really helps - that and lots of praise when she even goes some way to doing the right thing. She stands and shouts and throws things rather than hitting (although she's not adverse to that either) and taking her out of potentially combustible situations has helped. I don't think you're getting great support from the nursery by the sounds of things - they should definitely not be making you feel like this. Is it worth searching on here for advice? Or even starting a thread?

There really should be lg glass of wine I can pass you. It will get better

deids I wish I could give you a big hug. We all have times when parenting isn't bringing the joy that we want it to and feel it should. Please don't feel guilty about that. I remember feeling very much the same when P was first born and L was a nightmare, and I caught myself wishing I just had P. There will be times in months and years to come when dd will be your challenge and ds will be your joy. Then times when they'll both be wonderful will come too. You are doing a fantastic job and there is nothing that you have or haven't done to break or damage ds. He's a normal 3 year old, pushing boundaries and not knowing how to express himself - not because you haven't given him the skills - just because he's 3. Urbs is right that we all as parents are so aware that any of our children could be the one that's playing up. I know you feel the other parents are judging you but I imagine it's not as bad as you feel. They are probably relieved it's not them on that occasion. DS will come out of this phase. Keep strong and be gentle on yourself. xxx

Trace you are so wise. And vag I meant to say v good point about blood sugar - I know it makes big difference to me so goodness alone knows on 3 year old. I should in interests of full transparency point out that I am particularly unqualified to dish out any "advice" tonight as this evening dd took some scissors from downstairs, went up to her bedroom and cut a huge lump out of her hair. oh dear.

Oh Deids lovey, it's still tough. Ditto to everyone else's wise words. It will pass. Remember to be kind to yourself x

Hi Obes, welcome back from Wales, I hope you missed the worst of the rain there? Did you go to Pembrokeshire? We're going to St David's in 3 weeks, and I can't wait. Congrats on the job offer, sounds exciting. As do your summer holiday plans

And welcome back Beans as well, how really lovely your holiday sounds. I'm so glad it was such a success. And Sybs too, hope you've got over your week with MIL now?

Just one week Kayz, or hopefully less. How soon til DH is home?

Top 30 finish is hugely impressive Vag, well done you

Pleased that you got home after your bus trip Urbs. Reading your post made me want to jump on a bus and go on a trip somewhere!

We moved DD2 into her own room last night, as she's filling her Moses basket now. I miss her and her morning smiles . And typically, she woke for a feed last night, following 2 weeks of sleeping through. That was 430, then DH got up for work at 5. I managed to get DD2 back off, but DD1 woke for the day at 530 and there was no getting her back to sleep. Yawn, it's been a long day.

I go to a baby group at our local sure start centre, there's a dozen of us and all the babies are within a month of each other - DD2 is bang in the middle (so all between 20 and 15 weeks). It's a nice group, but I came home today feeling rather sad that there's only DD and 2 others (the youngest) who haven't been given food yet. Round here it seems competitive about starting weaning early for some reason. A seems so young and titchy, I don't want to rush into anything, I want to keep her as my baby.

So hat fans, I have been to hire a hat today, I've got the first one on the scrolling pictures (the cream disc). I can't wait to wear it. I'm trying to get some cream shoes still - but would it be really bad form to wear my own wedding shoes? I'd ask on style and beauty, but given LadyTs experience on there with wedding etiquette, I'm too chicken!

Urbs, I am the high priestess of the DIY haircut, so I feel your pain. How short is it? Could a hairdresser remedy it? Thinking of you.

Deids, just adding to the chorus to say it's not your fault and they all have their moments. I remember many occasions when L has been beyond vile and there are all these other perfect girls sitting quietly looking frankly horrified and I have wanted the ground to swallow me up. I frequently feel I have 1, 2 or sometimes 3 kids too many and look wistfully at friends with just one or even friends who are (from choice) childfree. It does pass though.

A wise friend of mine said that boys give us the challenge when we are little, whereas with girls the challenge comes in the teen years. You are a wonderful mother. Hang on in there.

Off to another funeral today. 3rd one in 4 months. PLease can this be the last one.

Have a lovely day everyone.

Sorry I put that badly. I know you have DD as well, as of course do I, but I just meant that our children present their, er, challenges to us at different times. Some children save their worst behaviour for at home so you may not see it. Honestly we all have our parenting moments. Huge hugs. And . Perhaps later for the wine.

Sybs you did make me laugh, you basically told Deids that she is having a nightmare with DS now and when he has settled down, she has DD's teen years to look forward too. I know what you meant but I am sitting here cackling out loud anyway.

I have a morning off and should be tidying the house or something housewifey but instead I'm sitting drinking coffee writing to you guys and thinking of goin' darn the shops.

Home!

Lovely holiday, so nice to see family after so long and to meet my new little cousins. One is almost 2 and the other is a teeny tiny newborn who was born while we were there. She is adorable and soooooo titchy. My sister is getting married next year so hopefully most people will make it over and it won't be so long until we see them again. My dad was mumbling a little about subsidising a holiday to France for us too, I think he knows how important it is to see the family, especially my lovely Mamie, she is 92 so goodness knows how long we have left even though she is in pretty good shape. Ds2 loved her, every time she sopke he just stared at her and smiled away. The big 2 did too, ds1 was constantly trying to show her things and dd trailed around after her :) Dd especially was understanding a lot of French by the time we got home, I mus make more effort!

I need to read and catch up but ds2 grizzling at me!

Vag I think Sybs is just jealous of Deids only having on girl to deal with in the teenage years

Oh Deids - wise words from everyone. I back them up. I do feel so sorry for you, but hang in there. You are a lovely, kind mother and he will grow out of it, he's just frustrated. Thinking of you.

Sybs - whose funeral is this? You poor thing. how exhausting and draining. I can back you up on those wise words of your friend and know exactly what you meant. Although I had it couched less politely: Boys fuck up your house, girls fuck up your head. Short but probably true. 10 years time is going to be hormone hell in this house!

ZJ - are you going to a wedding in that hat? It's absolutely gorgeous. Very jealous. If it helps, I wear my wedding shoes the whole time (not around the house, I hasten to add, just to other weddings!) and I've told people and no one has batted an eyelid. You'll be the only one who knows they were your wedding shoes, I can assure you, unless you tell them. And even then, no one will mind in the slightest!

My little girls and I have both just had a 2 hour sleep. Was quite marvellous. I've been having somewhat sleepless nights of late, with one, other or both of them being up a couple of times a night and both up at 5ish. Although thankfully going back to sleep til 6.30, but me not. It was blissful and I feel much restored.

Thanks for your kind words on food poisoning. It has now passed, although has left me with a diminished appetite and some awful wind. Luckily DH is away until Sunday night! For his sake!

Off to Sainsbos now. Joy of joys!

xx

Where has DH gone, Beans? Is he running?

THe funeral went really well and was very moving. It was the sister of a good friend, whom I knew a bit but not very well, so it was all about supporting Julia really. Sister had been ill for 3 years and was in a hospice, so not unexpected. Julia asked for donations rather than flowers, but we all brought a flower and placed it on the coffin, and the array of gorgeous flowers was then tied into a bunch and placed outside for us all to admire. Gorgeous.

Happily, the coffin did not disappear behind curtains or anything. I hope this isn't in poor taste, but I went to one funeral years ago where the coffin went out at the appropriate moment on a kind of conveyor belt. Bit yo sushi or baggage reclaim for me. It caused surprise among the congregation too!

L is playing in a concert this afternoon. Fingers crossed it goes well.

Happy Saturyda everyone.

ZJ I love the hat!! Just 5 days now. But I give up all hope of her coming before then. DH is due home on July 4th. 2 days after the MW said I will be induced.

Sybs I am glad the funeral went well. I hope L's concert goes well too!

Dieds I hope you are ok. DS2 is a funny creature. He is absolutely fine at playschool. They are adore him and he has loads of friends. Never hits them or anything. But at home it is completely different. He properly attacks DS1. He rugby tackles him to the ground and them punches him. It is quite tiring at the minute as I can no longer pick him up. It can happen over anything, yesterday it was because DS1 has a blue spoon and DS2's was green!

The boys had a sleepover at Mums last night and they are now at the seaside. Despite the weather