April 2012 newborns: the insomnia continues...

[LaTristesse]

Hello fellow April mums. Following on from our lovely ante-natal threads, here's the first of the post-natal ones. Join us as we work out how to handle nappies, feeding, colic, crying and all things newborn, or just to celebrate the joys of a new baby!

Well, we had quite a scary nite, Harry seems very phlemy, he was in his crib last nite and couldn't breathe for around a second or 2 (and when he did cry it was the cry he has when he was born if that makes sense), as he was trying to swallow. Scared the hell outta me. Ended up putting him on his front on me. He seemed so much better after that. Stayed on me all nite like that.
Other than that, he's doing ok. 8 weeks today, weighing 9lb 2oz. Laughing, smiling and very chatty; or trying to! Some nites he stays in the crib, some nites on me.

My ds is the same with crying, though it goes on a bit later & longer. He gets into a right lather, won't feed & then when he does cries really hard when there is a let down & pulls off. It's quite hard work at the end of the day, endlessly pacing. Seem to remember it peaked around 9 wks on previous dcs so I'm holding out for that.

Hiya. Noah still had a bit of a cold and is all blocked up which is horrible. He also gets constipated every morning from between 4-6am - 8am he really struggles to push out poos in the morning - then when it starts he does we have about 3/4 nappy changes within an hour! It's strange after that he doesn't really poo again - u may get one in the evening but that's it!

The last 2 nights hes woke every 2hours - still a killer but it's better than 1 / 1 1/2 hours would kill for a 4 hour sleep can't even imagine it.

Hope everyone's well xx

I realise lots of that post didn't make sense - my brain isn't working yet

Why is it children/babies prefer their dads to mums?

Aaron screams for me and is nearly impossible to settle, 2 mins with my dh he is fine. He had even smiled for dh quite a few times but not for me.

Ds1 shouts at me, doesn't listen and won't eat but once he has calmed down from his tantrum for me will be fine for dh.

I feel useless, I'm not even bf as a failed at that so I may as well not be here!

Oh kat with babies iv heard they are calmed by deeper voices. Noah certainly is and yes I sometimes try talk in a mans voice like a mad women
DP will come home after 2 weeks at Sandhurst for a few nights and can totally calm Noah, which if I'm honest pisses me off cos It's not even like DP is around day to day and DS is close to him!
I think little ones also no when we are stressed so if ur suffering they'l pick up on it & won't calm down.
Im sure they both love you loads - and u are actually the favourite .
I know your feeling down at the moment but you havnt failed. Stick at it things will slip into place soon xxxxxxxx

Oh and with the smiles - Noah smiles at his feet more than me I wouldn't take it personally

kat my older dcs are better behaved for their dad. Also when baby does his crying fits he will calm him better than me. Also re smiling, our light fitting gets the most smiles They'll come a time when your baby will only want his mummy and it will drive you insane Big hugs to you

Hayley also meant to say my ds' pooing habit are just the same.

Francesca smiles at the blind in her room.. She een laughed at it yesterday!

I read that when babies are distressed and won't settle on their mums it's something to do with smelling the milk you're producing and not getting it. I might have that completely arse about face :). I make sure that when I'm settling Francesca that she's not in her feeding position so that she knows she's not going for a feed doesn't always work and I end up getting a boob out

kat - I've been there and felt just as awful as you are. Other point of few: your baby is healthy and happy,he's not crying non stop and even smiles, that's wonderful. Thing is if you are as tired as you sound it's hard to have the patience to get anything from him other than a bit of peace. Although expensive, why don't you consider yo get help from an independent MW 1 or 2 days a week? She'll help you, listen to you and you can trust her with the baby and go to sleep or for a walk?

Since yesterday Raphael wakes, screaming, every 3 hours for food. We never had that as I had to wake him from sleeping 4-6hrs a day. Is that a growth spurt but a week early? He is only 5 weeks tomorrow.

How long should they be awake at this age - 75 to 90 min incl feeding time? I don't always get his clues and end up with a overtired baby which is hard to settle.

kat you've failed at nothing, so lets bin that notion please!

Babies are funny creatures - you'll find soon enough that DH is soon the 'shunned' parent and you're flavour of the month. And then swap back and forth...fickle buggers.

DS just eats and sleeps - on me, so no chance of getting much done here. He might give the odd smirk to DH or DD if he's really pleased about something, but generally he's a serious little soul.

Thaleia DS had his growth spurt at 7w, it's all so approximate that it could be. 90mins sounds about right though

kat I've heard that babies can get worked up by the smell of their mother's milk - dad doesn't smell like milk so it can calm the baby down.

wow - I need sleep.

Dylan was 6 weeks yesterday. I'm giving up breastfeeding. He hates it.

Thanks all, I'm gonna ring my hv after the bank hols everything is getting to me but I hate asking family for help as my parents told me to stop at 1 so will have an air of "i told you so" and it also bothers me people will think I can't cope (which I am struggling to do but don't want friends and family to know, especially as my best friend is about to go through fertility testing).

On a really cute (and positive) note, ds1 is sooo much better with Aaron, even put Aarons dummy next to him just then when he was crying.

Sorry I've been negative, will keep that all to a minimum, especially as everyone has a lot on their plates :)

DD is much calmer with her dad than me , this morning she woke at 4.45 and after feeding with me for a bit, DH took her to give her a bottle. I woke up at 7.45 to find she had fallen asleep on his chest and he had lain awake all that time cuddling her just so I could get my sleep too. (nb I'd been awake feeding her from 1.30-3 as well, but still I'm amazed at how heroic he was this morning!) Now we are both pretty tired and limping home slowly from the jubilee party we were at yesterday.

kat I know how frustrating it is, DD smiles for everyone except me. I got one smile out of her last week & it made me feel so happy. But we know they can't do without us and I'm sure we will be getting lots of smiles soon! Hang in there!

Harry has his days when he wants his daddy and others when he wants his mummy.

Although Mummy is naughty some nights, when he won't settle mummy settles him into bed with her and bingo he falls asleep for a good few hours. (HV would have my guts co sleeping) if it works then why not and it is only for a couple of hours between 05:00 and 08:00.

Harry is still very snuffly although he is now going about 2 1/2 to 3 hrs between feeds thanks to SMA extra hungry bay feed. Not able to BF at the moment as I have an ear infection, kidney infection and an eye infection so full of antibiotics (sp).

Hi kat we all have our negative days I have been known to cry when Harry is hystercal. That is great DS1 is better with Aaron and vry very cute he wants to comfort his little brother.

Flisspaps same here there are days when Harry is ever so serious and looks like being a baby is the hardest job in the world. I love his [smiles], giggles and little pregrowl language.

Harry is def a breast man not unlike his daddy. He even stroked the breasts of the bride at the wedding last week (just over a month old and he saw more action than the groom )

xx

kat ignore your parents, two is hard work for everyone, and don't worry about off loading here - it is what we're here for!

yummymummy Sod the HV. Co-sleeping isn't 'naughty' - provided it's done safely. Western society has this strange 'need' for babies to sleep away from their parents. It's normal in many cultures to co sleep, and I think humans are the only mammals who try to train their babies to do something other than co sleep. I've yet to see a monkey with a Moses basket

"I've yet to see a monkey with a Moses basket". Love it!

We had DD in bed with us from 3am onwards as the spare bed at PILs house is so big, there is plenty of room for all of us. I loved knowing that DD was snuggled in with us and she was much happier - PILs house is quite cold so think she was a bit chilly in her basket.

We just can't do it in our bed, though, it's a standard double & DH is a big bloke, he is so scared of rolling on her. And she'll be too big for her Moses basket soon so she'll have to go into her cot in the other room (no room for a big cot in our room).

DD slept all the way through the jubilee party we were at, including a rousing National Anthem, and has charmed all the PILs friends. She is a popular girl!

Quick question re growth spurt: do you still make them wait 3hrs or as soon as they kick off, you feed them? Raphael now really down to 3hrs - gosh, you ladies who have had this all the time, how did you do that???? - and I just manage to get him there, otherwise he'd be having a feed every 2.5hrs. Not much of a difference in theory but when you're in it are 30mins a gift. But only because DH is home and can carry him around.

DH was a bit upset that we couldn't be at the Thames yesterday for the pageant and had to stay indoors @ a friends house. He also thinks we are out and about to much seeing (my) friends. I can't make him understand how lonely it is if you only have 2 other people to speak to and also, I'm not a mother long enough to have forgotten how my life was only a month ago. Of course I like to talk about my baby, but not ALL the time. But that's all what I'm doing at the moment as what else do I have in common with the people I meet at 10.30am on a weekday?

Not complaining just wishing I can have it all .... + some sunshine please!!!

my actual question should have been: when do I stop? Just fed him for over an hour and still crying and sucking his little hand??? But he fell asleep on the boop twice and threw something up?

Flisspaps I love that image of a baby monkey in a moses basket dressed in a t-shirt that says "I'm a little human". I am going to keep doing it until he no longer wants mummy cuddles (at 45 years old). HOw are things tht end?

Thaleia I take Harry off as soon as he falls asleep and he stays asleep. xx

Thaleia I've had the same problem the last few days. DS almost never has a feed which doesn't involve something coming up afterwards, and even if he's fallen asleep on the boob, once I've winded him or he's been sick/posseted, he is wide awake again and rooting for more.
Our outreach nurse suggested he is being sick because he's overfilling his little tummy, and while I can understand he may think he needs to feed to ease the discomfort of bringing stuff up, I find it hard to refuse him more food when he roots - after all, I'm meant to follow his cues aren't I?
This feeding lark is hard He was demanding lots more last night, so I suspect a growth spurt may be in the offing, but all I wanted to do was put him down and SLEEP!