November 05 Babies

[Rodeo]

A new thread for us and our little 2, 3 and very nearly 4 month olds, where is the time going??!!

welcome Candimum we are officially the nicest thread on Mumsnet

Re: 1-1 time, Natalie gets my full attention 95% of the time. This involves cuddles, play, singing, chatting, sleeping, eating, changing and everything else inbetween. At the weekend I split it 50/50 with DH. It sounds like you're doing the right thing for you, so go with it.

A revelation for me this past couple of weeks is that it's true when people say babies grow out of certain behaviour. Natalie dropped her night feeds by herself, and is asserting her independence by not wanting to be held all the time anymore.

I've decided against a bumbo as i'm planning on waiting until Nat can sit in a highchair before i start weaning. I'm also giving her lots of floor time at the mo as she's trying very hard to turn over. She got on her side today, she just needs that extra bit of oomph. She's in for a bit of a shock though as she hates being on her tummy. If I need her to sit I put her in her rocker chair.

Def. going to put Nat down for private school, although we are thinking of moving after yet another shooting nearby - this time at a car with kids in it

Sorry - was mid post, then came back to read posts and found that we have a new person in our midst - Welcome CandiMum - everyone is v. friendly - I joined part way through the thread (before Christmas I think) and was made v. welcome.
My DS was also born on 25th November!!
We do lots of talking and playing.
Day starts between 7:45am and 8:45am - when I awake to hear DS chatting and gurgling to himself in his cot! I go in, say goodmorning, give him ihis dummy, put his mobile on and explain that Mummy is going to have a shower and get dressed, and that I'll be bakc in a ninute to get him up and dressed.
After I am dressed, get ds up and dressed (and washed!).
Go downstairs, have cup of tea and my breakfast if poss before his 9-9:30am feed (or have mine afterwards if timings dictate).
DS goes either in chair or on playmat until lunch time feed (unless am popping out in the morning) when he chatters, he wants some attention - so Mummy gets down to his level and talks to him - not baby gobbledygook - proper conversations - but in the sing-song-voice. He likes that! We then look at some soft books, play with rattles and touchy-feely soft toys we have.
Lunch is around 1pm - we then have more play time or go out for a walk and go to visit other Mums or GreatGrandparents or something - he usually sleeps in his pram whilst out.
Tea is around 5pm. BAth between 6& 6.30pm (alternate nights as he has v dry skin).
Bed by 7pm, either put down awake or asleep depending how tired he is.
Wakes once during the night for a feed, maybe once or twice to gurgle - we go in, re-insert dummy and he goes off again (or we ignore him, this also works).

We chatter about anything - washing celery and making soup the other day! He likes to tell me stories - I just don't know what they mean yet!!!!!

I am a first time mum too - but you'll find that you can't really get it too wrong - they'll let you know if they want attention, are bored, or if they don't like what you are doing!!

Brownie & Thomas

Thank you all for making me welcome. And if I can just say on the partner debate I think partners support each other. Sometimes one is primary, sometimes the other, sometimes it's about equal, but most times I support ds on his stuff and he supports me on mine. On working so so tough. I'm going back after a year. I am still so new at this.

My question stems from my concern that dd doesn't seem very needy. I'm worried that because of this I'm not spending enough time with her, even though I'm always with her. She can go for quite a while just hanging with herself. So I do my own thing too, mostly in the same room. I go to talk to her and she's glad, but she doesn't ask. She's very alert and seems to be doing everything she should -- though not really using rattles. Most of the cuddling is me just not being able to resist! Or because of her reflux just helping her to get through the discomfort.

candimum count your blessings sounds like you have an independent happy child! id say that neans your baby is confident and secure. great.

ive had to hold and bounce finn allday. hate to sound like my mum but i think hes teething. hands in mouth making slurpie sounds

and.....im still unwashed and in my pjs (not all his doing)

candiemom - sorry for the mis-spelling!

think of it the other way - would you like to have someone constantly with you all day every day? Babies are people too, and some days they want company more than others. I'm finding it hard with DD at the mo because she's decided she doesn't want my company as much as she did.

Should say my DD was born on 15th Oct (due 5th Nov) so she's a little bit older than others on the thread.

As BrownieChick said - your baby will let you know if they want something

Jenjam - Nat has been sucky slurpy on her hands for weeks with no signs of teething, think it might just be a phase they go through. She's starting to bring objects to her mouth now for sucky slurpy time.

oh. his cheeks are all red too (as in flaming red0 and he seems very restless(although now he's grinning at me. he also keeps sticking his tongue out very quickly and making swallowing sounds (he looks like he's eating a boiled sweet) perhaps he's self soothing his gums with his tongue.
oh i don't know. just looked at the teething ring thing and it says i must cold water sterilise it first. i've got a steam steriliser. what do i need to do to cold water sterilise? i'm assuming i go to chemist and buy some milton? then what - does anyone know?

yeah Nat does the sucking a boiled sweet thing too! I don't think she's teething - she's sleeping ok and doesn't seem in pain. Her cheeks can be a little red, but her gums aren't.

I'd personally just bung the teether in boiling water for a few mins, or wash it in soapy cooled boiled water if it can't get hot. Lets face it their hands aren't that clean when they shove them in all the time and unless you're going to be sterilising the teether after every use it's not going to be 'sterile' for very long.

Evening all, have just sneaked off while dh is feeding Thomas, love all the day routines, sounds like we're all doing the same sort of things really. No one really admits to chatting on here for ages everyday though Or is that classed as mummy time

Busy had to lol at you going out at 5:30pm that sounds just like me, I normally manage to go out at about lunchtime just in time to annoy those people who are on their lunch hour!!! Also I take it you leave someone with the kids when you go on your driving lesson while the boys are asleep

Hi ya Jenjam, nice to have you back, sounds like you've been really busy lately. Thanks for asking about the pnd - I have got it but not half as bad as last time - I knew it was starting when we met up, which was why I skirted the issue a bit, sorry I'm taking the St John's Wort and it's making me feel a lot better, I only loose the plot occasionally this time thankfully and I'm enjoyinmg having Thomas around which isn't what I was saying at this stage with Ben.

If Finn is suffering you could try Nelson's teething powders, you give them half a sachet at this age and it does help them quite a bit, the other thing you can do if he is making his own hands sore is to let him chomp on your finger for a while - you'll soon know if he's got teeth coming then.

Nova what a nightmare, sounds like you should move south of the river with the rest of us - we'd make you welcome honest and forgive you for living the wrong side of the water before

Sorry to all if you got the message meant for Tex in your Yahoo e-mail accounts - I sent the message and it said it had been sent to everyone in the group - doh!

Right best go as dh has kindly brought Thomas upstairs to annoy (I mean see ) me, speak to you all later Beks

Sorry Nova, crosse dposts there but I totally agree with you on the sterilising.

hi beks - didnt notice skirting when we met. thought i wld get it actually as i have experienced despair with certain circumstances before. sounds like johns wort is working - jen

tpyed that last one one-handed while feeding finn, seems a bit brief on re-reading. what i meant to say is i thought i would get post natal depression as i can spiral downwards into negative thought/;pissedoffness and all out anger sometimes especially around period time. also had some blues at the beginning of the pregnancy (not that i wasn't happy to be pregnant - it was planned and much wanted, but i suppose shock at getting pregnant so quickly (first attempt) + a mass of early pg hormones flying around my body.
how long did you suffer with pnd last time (and feel free to tell me to shut up now if you don't want to talk about it) Jen

beks-lol, i just put them to bed and hope they dont wake up till my driving lessons over, no, I have my lessons on alternates depending on what dp is working, so if hes on 6am-2pm , i have a lesson about 3pm(like today) and if hes on 2-10pm then i have one at about 9/10am......LOL

Nova-Dont know wether youve seen thread on childbirth board, but someones looking for peoples experiences at the portland......

Wow there's a lot to read today! I copied and pasted my message this time into word every 10 mins so when the ADSL went off I didn?t lose it

Yes Golden, I do reject evolution, and how anyone can not believe in God creating the world after the miracle of having a baby is beyond me . And agree with having controversial debates so long as we don't start swearing at each other And with 'potential' that's why I used that word - I know not all mums are best for their kids, but I believe they have the potential to be.

JenJam - interesting that your thought processes backed up what I thought, that most women want to work because of having an identity, and the financial benefits. Oh, and as Diege says, they can't cope with 2yr olds

ChaCha - I would like to know what you think?

Re: education - I want to homeschool. Wot d'you think abt that then? Not that you're shifting me, my little mind is firmly made up

Londoner - know what you mean about the respect you get. I went to medical school and got oohs and aahs when people asked what I was doing. Then in the holidays I worked as a carer for an agency, so I would work places where no-one knew me, and they all ignored me and treated me like dirt. Amazing how people view you by your job - v. shallow. If its any help I admire SAHMs more than any other women (no offence meant to working mums!)

JenJam sudocream works for us, but then we also use cloth which helps.

Candiemom - hi! I;m a first time mum too, but I can tell you my routine - its scheduled tho' so a bit different :
7am - go and get him (he's usually awake and gurgling by then) and feed, then change, then give to DH to play with till he starts turning away. Then he goes on a blanket to kick, then in bouncy chair when he starts making noises. Put to bed around 9 till 9.30/45 for a nap. Then I give him some tummy time and get down and make faces at him, change him, then put him on his back in playpen under toys while I make brunch. Then feed at 11am, keep calm till 12pm when he goes down for nap hopefully till 2.15, when I feed him again. Then he plays with DH again, has time on blanket and wherever I need him to be while I do my housework etc., if he's grumpy I sit him on my lap or walk around the house. Then he goes in seat in kitchen while I make dinner so if he needs a catnap he can have it easiy around 4.45pm. Then usually try and keep him kinda calm till 6 when I change him, read to him and feed him, then put him down around 7pm and he sleeps till 7am (yay!). I only bath him about twice a week (am I a bad mummy??!) usually in the morning, cos I have more energy then! Hope that helps! Its actually pretty much a Gina Ford routine, apart from no bath and no expressing. I'm not onetoone that much with him - DH is more than me. But I play with him while nappy changing, and on tummy, and sometimes other times, and I do stuff like making silly faces with my mouth, imitating his noises back to him, saying boo, running my fingers up his tummy to his face and all the way around, doing action songs like 'head shoulders' and just talking to him whatever I can think of in a higher voice with a smile on my face, like 'you're dribbling aren't you'! Also hold him in front of the mirror - he loves that! A lot fo the day he plays independently though and I try to encourage that as I don't want to be tied to him, and I think its better for him to learn to do that anyway, so I wouldn't worry about that - probably means she's happy.

Busy - you sound so busy lol. Don't you get a bad back feeding at computer - I do

Nova - Caleb was sucky on his hands before he was even born and started straight away when he came out!

Morning everyone . Lovely to hear everyone's routines, and a big hello to candimom (are from from the states BTW? - just a guess? agree that it sounds like you have a very sweet-natured and secure baby!. Thanks BEARTIME for putting your routine up - saves me time as mine is identical! I also bath twice a week - it's fine according to HVs! BTW, do you find it hard to know when to go out on Gina? I go regardless, but she does tend to fall asleep in the pram still. Haven't noticed it having a knock on effect at night though.
Must try tummy time again. Libby protests loudly, and looks like a seal cub, flapping away with her arms, and going red in the face .
BROWNIE: I'm also putting in an application for flexible working. Bit scary, as I get the impression that they think (already) that I'm asking for special favours (not like it's a legal entitlement or anything!). I'm also prepared to take a cut in wages, but am holding this trump card back till I need it! Have worked out that I'm spending 4 hours each day commuting, so possibly use this as a reason to work from home one day (I have it all worked out...!!!).
Well, must make some progress on the work front today . Have a 'virgin vie' party thing tonight - not really my thing, but i've learnt not to turn down invites . Should be good fun?
Oh and a little boast...lost 4 1bs on SW weigh-in last night!!! V. surprised, but put it down to lots of walking in the last week (about 50mins a day). Still plowing on with the driving lessons !
Speak later,
Diege .

welcome candimum

well done on the weight loss diege.

I'm also putting in an application for flexible working - compressed working week for me.

Hi ladies, been crazy here. We've all had this tummy bug that's been going around and I spent yesterday afternoon in A&E with Rosie. She had started having blood in her nappy but they think she just has gastroenteritis. She's still happy in herself and eating and sleeping well. She just has a terrible upset stomach so I've been getting up two or three times a night to change her, then run to the loo myself. So much fun.

BEKs, just sent you an email. Sorry it's taken me so long to respond. I'm so unreliable at the moment.

I've had an increasing number of 'losing the plot' moments in the last couple of weeks. I think things are getting on top of me with the flat renovations (still living in a semi-building site) and the illness. I think I might try to St John's Wort. I've been trying to take ginko to improve my memory and brain functions (still have baby brain) but I keep forgetting to take it!

Welcome Candiemom. I thought you might be from Canada. Do end the suspense! My routine is similiar to the others, a mix of chores and playtime. I have a three year old too so the baby often just gets taken along with our usual day to day. Rosie and I get one to one time when I'm changing, cleaning, dressing, feeding her. Must admit that Toby did get more attention from me when he was Rosie's age but I guess that's just the way it works with second babies. Tobes gives her lots of attention so I don't worry that she's missing out. Rosie is much more independent than Tobes though and I'm sure that makes it much easier.

As for the whole nursery/partners/SAHM discussion, I agree that each person does what's best for her family. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I love being a SAHM but I miss work and plan to go back once both children are in school. I don't think I could be described as a submissive wife but DH and I do respect each other's needs, opinions, etc and sometimes his come first and sometimes mine do. It's all a balancing act in our house.

Diege, so impressed withyour weight loss. Very inspiring! I've managed to get back to pre-pregnancy weight but that was still higher than it should've been. Now it's getting serious but I'm trying to inspire myself with all the lovely clothes I'll be able to buy in the spring. I would love to be able to wear some of the gorgeous belted dresses that are coming out. At the moment I would look like a sack of potatoes tied in the middle!

Rosie has just woken from her morning nap. Time for me to start the day. Still sitting here in PJs with a cold mug of tea. Hope you guys have a lovely Tuesday!

Hi Tex! Poor you and Rosie ; must have been a shock finding blood in nappy (had this with dd1 - all was well!)and then yesterday in A&E!!! Good that she is well in herself though (as my mum says, as long as they are eating and pooing, there's nothing much wrong ).
Good for you in admitting and dealing with pnd; had it with dd2 myself, and the St'johns did help. Just a warning (which you probably know already); if you have high blood pressure it can make it worse. Ginkgo's supposed to be brill' btw, and good for keeping energy levels up too .
LOL about sack of potatoes! Love the spring fashions too (French Connection has some lovely dresses too), but don't have a waist to speak of at the moment! Well, my quorn, lentil and bulger wheat stir fry is ready, so I'm going to enjoy (not!).
Diege .

Just read through post and realised I've assumed you may have PND Tex, when you might just be feeling a bit low ; sorry if this is the
case! Also, yes, Candimom must be Canadian (durrr!!!). You wait, she'll post now and say she's from Staines! .

Afternoon all,

Busy ha ha ha,I prefer the leaving them at home idea, perhaps you could take your monitor with you next time and blame any dodgy maneouvers(sp?) on being distracted
When I first had Thomas I'd go and pick Ben up from school without him and tell everyone I'd left him home alone - but because I'm such a wind up merchant no one was sure whether to believe me or not!!!

Well done Diege - lunch sounds yummy by the way

Tex glad it wasn't anything serious with Rosie and that she is happy enough in herself, must have been scary though.
St John's is good by the way, it's a not a cure all but makes me feel better.

Jen to answer your question I had pnd for 2 years last time, I didn't get it until Ben was about 3 months, when the novelty had worn off and the everyday routine had kicked in.
It was horrendous and I would happily have walked away from both my marriage and my child when I was at my worst and felt trapped because as a SAHM I had no means of supporting myself, so was forced to stay where I was. I did however tell my dh to pack his bags on several occasions - thankfully he didn't as he is a wonderful man and I would have been broken hearted had he actually gone.
In all honesty I had only been back to my old self for about 6 months if that, when I fell for Thomas and was in a way deverstated. I was frightened that I'd just got myself back to "normal" only to possibly start the whole cycle again.
Thankfully I haven't been anywhere near as bad this time {touch wood).
As you can tell I'm not worried about talking about it now, so feel free to ask any other questions.

Right that was only supposed to be a quick post - got to go, as going out.

Hope you are all well Beks

Hi all...
wow you've all been chatty the last few days, will take me forever to catch up!

we had a fab weekend, we went to a wedding and decided to leave O with my mum overnight - she was thrilled and it was lovely to have a few drinks and relax. (and I only called to check up twice..lol)

unfortunately we met this lovely irish girl who was broody beyond belief so spent much of the day showing her photos and talking baby..teehee

Can anyone give me further advice on constipation? O hasn't done a poo since sunday morning , which is unusual as it's at least twice a day normally. He is now very unsettled and uncomfortable.
Last night he was feeling very sorry for himself and did the saddest expression ever..he was staring at me with sad pleading eyes and his bottom lip was wobbling..i could hve cried.

There have been no changes to his feeding routine and I am wondering if all the upheaval of this weekend might have caused it (is that possible?) we stayed in a different place every night friday to monday and he met and was passed around so many people, something he's not really used to.

He refuses cooled boiled water, and yesterday the H.V advised adding an extra 50mls of water to his feeds, but it hasn't helped. We've also tried 'bicycling' his legs and gentle massage - but no results!

My mum says I should give him diluted white grape juice, but i'm not sure thats the best advice. Any ideas?

I've just managed to settle him after a very resless night and morning so hope he can get some decent sleep - the poor boy.

Anyway..best read through the previous few days and catch up..expect more posts to follow...hhhehee

Hi BOB/BEKSMUM ! Just a quickie as also going out; I agree with your mum BOB. Adding extra water to feeds (IMO) will help prevent constipation, but not neccessarily clear it. From my experinece I've always given diluted fruit juice (a teaspoon or so). Should shift it .
Right, off out!
Diege .

Just popping in when I should be cleaning...

BoB, they di recommend diluted juice for constipation when the babies are older. I don't think it would hurt if it was just a little bit but, of course, you have to do what makes you comfortable. One thing I did with Tobes when he was tiny and constipated, and this is only for the brave, is to gently rub his anus (ahem). I read about this technique and used it in desperation to very good effect. Be warned, it can be quite dramatic! A bit shocking for me when poo came shooting out at top speed but Tobes felt so much better. Best of luck with it!

Diege, not sure it's PND or just a touch of the blues but I'm keeping an eye on it. Trying to put things aside that aren't absolutely necessary and trying to do more that I enjoy. For instance, dust collecting in very embarrassing manner on surfaces but Tobes and I had a nice lunch together while Rosie slept.

OK, off to try to make table covers for the bedroom. I've had the loveliest Laura Ashley fabric waiting to be used for months. Very excited to see how it turns out.