The brookers post graduate thread

[hawthers]

We've got so good at brooking no argument for no pregnancy complications and sneeze births, we're going for our Phds in big fat babies

Daytime routine? Eh? nothing of the sort here other than 'please don't get hungry when I'm taking ds1 somewhere'.

But I am not really sure why I need a routine in the day tbh. With ds1 it seemed important to have a routine. But as long as he has some sleep in the day, which he still does plenty of, then it doesn't really matter at the moment. As he gets older no doubt it will become more important as he'll probably have 'nap times'. But at the moment it really doesn't seem to matter if he's awake or asleep. And even when he does have nap times they'll still have to fit in with taking ds1 to and fro.

i agree about routines. DS1 didn't really have one of any sort until he had regular meal times, maybe at 8/9 months or something? that was when i started reading him the same story every night too, which i can now recite as it was a year before he decided he wanted to pick his own. )

we appear to have put on another lb this week. wee DS2 is now just over 9lb! his bum is a state though and HV confirmed it looked like thrush. so he may not have had it in his mouth but it is in his nappy. he is a fairly constant pooper and even poos in his sleep without waking, i guess it's easy for delicate wee bums to get irritated. luckily we had antifungal cream in the house from his sensitive big brother's last sore bum.

feeling a bit tired and down, DS1 had a big tantrum about something he needed to do this morning and i felt like DH was quite hard on him about it. he probably wasn't, but my hormones didn't like to see my wee pfb upset. think i might get a nap and see if it helps! sorry for me me me bit.

I'm pretty bemused by so many of my first-time Mum friends desperately wanting a routine right from the start. I know several people who have been trying to establish some version of a 4 hourly routine since two weeks old.

Personally I just don't feel any need for a routine. The only thing I'm hoping for is for Autumn to figure out the difference between day and night. I don't mind waking up for several feeds a night so long as she goes straight back to sleep afterwards - her feeds only take 5 minutes. It's her being awake all night between feeds which is killing me... During the day I don't mind how frequently she feeds or naps, just so long as she's getting what she needs. I'm happy to work around her while she's so tiny.

That's not to judge anyone who does use routines. I fully agree with routines for older babies, at some stage you can't just let the baby dictate family life. Also I can imagine routines are very helpful when you have more than 1 DC. For those creating routines for their 2 week old PFBs, it looks like hard work to me but if it makes them feel like they have a little more control over their own lives, then generally I believe happy Mums = happy babies.

I'm a hopeless sap when it comes to Autumn though. For no apparent reason she sobbed her way through one particular nappy change last night. She cried for the full 5 minutes it took to do the double change (she likes to soil the first new nappy straightaway so you always end up changing her twice!) My DH was doing the change but I came rushing over when she started crying and when it became obvious I couldn't console her we both got quite upset! It's the longest she's ever wailed for. I was 2 seconds away from abandoning the nappy altogether and just sitting with her in the bath! I can't seem to get my hormones under control, when she cries for even a moment I feel like my heart is breaking. This is not an overly practical response considering all babies cry!!

I hope Dream is okay, haven't seen her for a little while. Ditto for Purple. Our thread is so different without them!

Big hugs to Jaggy, I hope DS1 stops throwing tantrums soon, I can imagine you want to be spending happy quality time with him, now that DS2 is taking up most of your day. It must be hard to have to be strict with him. Same for Biscuits as well.

Yay for Jaggy's DS2's weight gain though! Hope his sore little bum gets better asap!

Yay for Biscuits' amazing night of sleep too!

Too good luck going out this eve! I've ditched the hotel plan for my birthday but we're still intending to go out to dinner and leave PFB with her Nan for the first time. So do let us know how it goes tonight! I'll be No Brooking for a great night for you, Maia and the babysitter!

Scarlet how is the feeding going today? Yay for the last day of ABs!

Pomme muddy puddle jumping sounds fab! Is this an activity that requires an upwardly mobile DC, or can anyone join in?

I think DS2 might grow up thinking his name is 'Don'tleanonDS2' rather than DS2......

Also good job on the weight gain Jaggy's DS2 Awesome job .

Ds2 here was weighed yesterday and had put on 1lb 6oz in 2 weeks so is now 13lb 13oz and is 9 weeks today. Ds1 was 13lb 13oz at 12 weeks - and he was by no means small!

Oh and here's a weird one. I've had a bit of AF-like bleeding today? not a lot, and not all day but more then just spotting. My post pg bleeding finished about 4 weeks ago. I can't have my periods back can I? I mean it's nowhere near as much as an AF but all the same......

I'm here, just lurking. Today has been horrible. I've not even got dressed and showered. Luckily my dad was here and took DD to music group etc. The boys have fed or screamed all day.

I'm exhausted and feeling really low.

A vote Brookers- shall i top these babies up with formula??

Oh and scarlet, when Ben was under 2.5kg they always checked he was weighed the same ie scales in the same place. You're doing so well. How's it going today?

Not sure on the af biscuits . I was lucky and had to make an effort to get mine back but I know people who've had them really early when ebf. Hmm. No idea!

& hi to scream and everyone else.

Love DS2's new name Biscuits! I can't comment on the AF symptoms I'm afraid, my mw is still waiting for my lochia to appear.

Just went to a local French restaurant with DH and DD for an early dinner. Autumn was perfectly behaved (i.e. asleep) and it was me who suddenly and unexpectedly puked into my napkin RIGHT AT THE TABLE!! Oh the shame! I really don't know what went wrong, I was fine eating dessert one minute, the next my stomach just completely rejected everything I'd just eaten and back it came! I haven't felt nauseous or unwell at all today, I'm wondering if it was actually a reaction to the chicken main course...

I just ran out of the restaurant and straight home (just around the corner). I left DH with DD, the bill, and the accusing eyes of the waitress...

So I've provided my DD with sterling example of how NOT to behave when eating out

I was typing so slowly I x-posts with Dream. Sorry to hear you're feeling so low hun :( Sending lots of hugs your way. I know it's hard to see at the moment but you really are doing an amazing job!

I'm not ffing yet, so my only thoughts on that decision are; don't do anything that might make you feel more down, but if it's genuinely what you want then at least it will be easier to share the load with your DH and others. I think ffing sounds like more work than bfing in some respects, but at least it's not solely you doing that work! However I'm a clueless newbie, I'm sure someone with real experience will advise you better. Just make sure you're happy with whatever decision you make, you're such an amazing Mum to all 3 of your LOs, and I would hate for you to ever doubt that!

You're still my hero!

dream - I think you need to really think about what would be better if you top up with ff. Don't assume you'll get a heap more sleep and don't assume they'll scream and puke less. However you will get some independence - i.e. you could take dd to group and your dad/dh could have the twins, you can give dh a night feed etc. If you do decide to ff just make sure you're doing it rationally not thinking it will be a cure all solution.

Also be aware that colic may be worse on ff - you may need up having to get a special expensive comfort type one that can lead to odd poos etc.

Any further thoughts on no dairy ??

scream - No lochia??! How odd on the puking!! Are you feeling okay now?

biscuits - a few days ago I had two days in a row of a bit of blood when I wiped but it's gone now. No idea at all. I've ignored mine, I'd suggest the same :)

my two will just be:

'Careful DS1' and 'Aw Not Another Poo DS2'.

aw scream that must have been horrible. :( hope you feel better now that chicken's out though!

it's really hard to say about the formula dream - i can't even remember when things might start to calm down with the feeding so that you can get some sleep! i guess it depends when your wish to ebf is eclipsed by need to sleep. :) I'm totally fuzzy headed with only one relatively 'easy' (so far) baby so i can't imagine how you keep going. i vaguely remember DS1 learned thumb sucking at about 9 weeks which made a difference at night... seems a while away though. brooking for some rest for you sometime.

I prefer 'GENTLE" at the top of my voice for dd1 :)

No idea re the bleeding Biscuits but if your lochia finished 4 weeks ago I would probably assume that it is AF.

Scream I didn't know it was possible not to have lochia. Although I have to say I was shocked that you still get it after a CS I thought that would be one of the advantages of giving birth that way, so I was very surprised when the MW slapped a maternity pad on me after my CS. Sorry to hear your meal ended the way it did. How are you feeling now?

Dream (((((HUGS))))) Only you can decide about the formula and then you need to feel happy with the decision. It would make things easier for you in that you would be able to share the load more and get to spend more time with DD. If you're wanting someone to say do it, then I will just say that I know I would have done it before now in your position. You've been through so much already, you've given them the best start, but you do need to take care of yourself also and if that means a formula top up at the end of a feed or a formula feed replacing a BF a couple of times a day then I don't see how it could be a bad thing if it means you can start to feel more human and enjoy your 3 babies. pomme is right though, it won't be a cure all and could well present problems of it's own so you obviously need to weigh up the pros and cons. Are you thinking that it might be time to start?

I say all that as someone who is close to doing formula top ups with DD. I called the MWs again this morning and voiced my concerns about how she's been weighed and they sent someone else round with yet another set of scales to double check her weight. The good news is she hasn't lost any more. The bad news is that the readings we'd been given previously were likely to be correct. So, now I know she's lost 10% of her birth weight, she's feeding what feels like to be half the day long at least and she's still not gaining weight. I'm coming round to the idea that a FF top up might help her on her way. BUT, then I agonise over what if it is all just to do with the anti-biotics giving her having the trots? She could well be over it in 48 hours time and then start gaining properly

Maybe your dd2 will think dd1's name is Gentle Pomme?

Glad (in a way) you've had some weird bleeding too. I'm sure it's not AF as there's not enough so will just ignore ignore ignore unless it happens again . Last time my periods came back at 6 mths while I was still ebf so who knows.

No lochia Scream? how odd! Incidentally that was the word I was looking for earlier - couldn't remember it for the life of me!

Also odd with the puking! the silver lining is that at least you were able to leave the restaurant quickly and get home under your own steam. Not so long ago you'd have been scuppered by the SPD . Seriously though, hope you're all better now

Dream what a difficult decision. I've no experience of formula aside from once DS1 was weaned and I wanted to stop bf, and by that age it's a while different ball game.

I assume though once you get into a routine with the sterilising, making up bottles etc it's not so bad? I don't think I know anyone that has ebf twins all the way through, and there's probably a really good reason for that. And on top of just having two mouths to feed, you have two colicky babies which are considerably more demanding. Oh and dd too. But then as Pomme says they can still get wind with formula so that's another thing to factor in. I don't know what I'd do in your position. Ultimately a person needs sleep but it's not even clear which answer actually = sleep for you.

What does your DH say? Or your parents?

Right ds2 done feeding so better get on with some tea and hope DH can drag his sorry arse home from work soon!

Brook on dudes xxx

Cross posts Scarlet

Could you give it 48 hours and see how she's doing when her tummy settles down? When will they weigh her again? How stressed out do the MWs seem about it? Are they sort of 'oh, you might want to think about a ff top up' or 'FF NOW!' if the former and they're not pressuring you into it I'd be tempted to leave it. Or maybe just do a few top ups to help her on her way? If she starts gaining weight with a few top ups it might make the MWs back off and then you could see how it goes if you drop them once she and you are both better? Hope you're feeding with your feet up .

I should apologise too - my phone keeps autocorrecting she to he and dd to DS. I do know she's a girl (and for the other DDs) but my phone is less convinced....

Btw, just to warn y'all I'll be monumentally if AF has not even given me one friggin month off. She must be cross with me for calling her a biatch so many times while ttc.....

I don't want to do any top ups but dh, my dad and hv all encouraging it. I want to ebf, I'm worried about increased wind/ vomiting with heavier formula but I accept I'm exhausted and tearful and irrational too,and really need some sleep.

biscuits I'd be fuming too!!

Oh and even my mum has pointed out in our house the DT's are usually refered to as 'this one' and 'that one' . Eg can you get that one, I'll feed this one, when did that one have a nappy, this ones puked, grab a cloth... Etc etc!

No Brooking for Scarlet and Dream having to make tough choices re formula. This too shall pass.

The lochia thing has flummoxed my imw. I had a small amount of dark brown discharge on the first few days. Very little though, sort of pantyliner amounts. Since about day 4 or 5 there's been nothing at all. The mw keeps asking me about it and saying it could still turn up over the next couple of weeks, but so far no sign of it. No proper bleeding at all.

Still feeling bleurgh after that wretched meal. I'm hoping I got most of it out though, and I'm desperately hoping it won't make DD feel ill if/when it gets through to my milk! It's a little like being in the first tri again - I don't miss this feeling at all! Loving the silver lining pointed out by Biscuits though

How are you feeling in general Scarlet? I hope you're healing well and feeling more positive?

x-posts with Dream again. What reasons are your DH/Dad/HV giving for recommending formula? Are they acknowledging the colic won't disappear but offering to share the burden of preparing/delivering the formula, to give you a rest? If they're expecting you to do all the work of ffing, but somehow assuming it will still be easier for you, I would stick to your guns!

Whatever you decide the full support of the No Brookers will be with you!

That's a good point scream makes there dream they need to have duties assigned to help with the ff if they are so pro it.

Brooking for af to leave bIscuits alone!

Excellent point and well made there Scream on the ff / bf thing.

I have been feeding one or both (currently both) since 7pm with one quick wee break. Dh says if i let him give formula he could have them from when he gets DD down til midnight on a work night, longer if not at work. They are all saying it so I can have a break. It's just my pride/ stubbornness that thinks if I get through this I will be ok and they'll be ebf...

Hope your stomach settles scream, nausea you do not need! Well impressed you've been to the cinema, out to a restaurant etc. Wow :)