Feb 2010 - turning two and turning heads

[BigBadBear]

Hope you've all found me here!

Thanks for all the birthday messages and happy birthday today to FC's DD1!

We had a lovely day. DH had the day off (though he may as well have been at work for all the effort he put in :( ), so we opened presents before and after DD1 going to school, and took DD2 for sushi for lunch (her choice, and she was so keen that she put on her shoes and coat and stood at the bottom of the stairs shouting for me!). In the afternoon, a few of my local mum chums dropped in with their LOs and we had tea and cake, then they all cleared off to do the school run for their older DCs and my ILs arrived. So then we had another tea party, then I did the DDs dinner and bedtime (after I'd kissed her goodnight, I could hear DD2 singing happy birthday to herself through the monitor :o) and the ILs and some of their relatives stayed for dinner. So it was quite chilled but nice. The main thing is that DD2 had a good day! And she loved her presents, the main one being a Teletubby house (from ebay), a couple of books and some Duplo. There are photos on FB of it all (and my cakes were fine, phew!).

PA glad you are feeling better. beth I also don't have to cope with much aggression from my two, but have had to from other children and break up fights on several occasions. IC sounds like you did a good job.

mous how is the snow?

Thanks for setting up the new thread, BBB!

And thanks for the vote of confidence, too! Sounds like my reaction was the sort of thing you do too in those situations, bethy

From what other friends and my nursery-owning MIL tells me, it's very common for DC to "punish" their parents when they are collected from child-care. Sorry you got punched.
And sorry to hear your DSs are both poorly, poor things. I hope it passes quickly.

BBB good to hear your DD2 had a lovely day (bummer your DH was being useless, though) - love the idea of your sushi-loving DD1!

PA I'm glad you're feeling a bit better, although it sounds like you've got a bit further to go before you're fully on the mend.
That's tough when another child seems to be picking on yours, isn't it? I suspect in your position I would have got fed up and gone home after a few incidents of that sort.

We were back with the twins and their mum again today. DD loves it and is always wiped out after we've been with them. She gets infected by their energy and bounces around, climbs up the furniture and jumps back down etc. (my friend's fine with all that, luckily!) I'm pleased she has a chance to get some exercise indoors, though!

DD knocked back her lunchtime potato gnocchi and fromage frais when I served them, but decisively pushed away a plate with some cut up fruit and a couple of small chunks of oatbar on them. I felt pleased that she is still regulating her appetite and recognises when she's eaten enough (that's part of the aim of this book I'm reading - as well as working with picky eaters, it's about putting measures in place to prevent overeating too).

Happy Birthday fc's DD1!

Hi everyone,
Technical issues mean I cant go on the facebook page with my crappy internet connection here in hospital.
Thank you for DD1 (!!)'S birthday wishes. I cant believe she is 2 already. A bit sad to miss her birthday but there'll be others (mine on Sunday).

DD2 (Scarlett) was born on Wednesday 8th, we are doing great, me a bit battered and bruised but fine!
Sorry will be back with more soon.

Hi fc great to hear from you

BBB thanks for the new thread. I posted the link on the FB gropu for the lurkers.

Well, I'm glad it's the weekend.

DS has a rotten cold but it doesn't seem to affect him, except for hi very sore nose. I took him to my office today as my colleagues wanted to see him (they last saw him 8 months ago) and it was a mix of 'oh the lovely long eyelashes and blonde curls' and 'are you sure he understand when you're speaking French' Nevermind I know he's a genius as he speak French, English and gibberish fluently

IC great that you're having cravings

PA I hope you're feeling better

bc how long do you have left?

mous is there less snow?

BBB I'm impressed by the sushi lunch! I love sushi but not sure what DS would make of it. Great pcitures on FB

BBB thanks for the new thread, and what cute pictures on fb! I am still reeling from the picture you put up a while ago of your two dds together - they look sooooo alike!

SB at the comments whether he understands you speaking French.. I had a few comments like that when dd1 was younger and always bit my tongue so I wouldn't give a sarcastic answer (in the line of, no, she doesn't understand German, I just like the sound of my own voice when I rabbit on at her)

FC you can always have a little party when you get home. Your dd1 won't mind!!

IC I also think you did the right thing and it's good the twins' mother saw things the same way. I have had absolutely no aggression from my two (odd, come to think of it) but remember at least one occasion where I left a baby group early because one child kept pushing over dd1 when she was tiny and the mother of said child just laughed it off 'Hahaha, he always does that'.

I have decided that I can have cake and presents on Sunday afternoon instead of on my actual birthday on Monday. I'm allowed to do that because I am grown-up (sometimes) . It's so we are all together and I can get to play with my new toys! With it being half term next week I won't get much time to myself..

Sending lots of sleepy vibes to all the poorly dc and all the mums who could do with catching up on some serious sleep!!

Thanks BBB for starting the new thread and to SB for the signppost from facebook. Bidding on Happyland stuff doe DS2 tonight and hoping they both drop off to sleep with their temperatures. I now appear to have the lurgy too so may need a facemask for making the cake tomorrow night!! Ploughing on and assuming we'll all be better by Sunday!!
Night all.

Bethy so sorry about your boys getting ill again. hope it goes quickly.

Yes still snow (more to come) and it was a balmy -9 c yesterday. It is -13 now on my warm balcony (-19 at the airport a tad chilly!). I bought some extreme skying socks to put in my walking boots as I was getting cold feet.

IC bethy what I noticed is there much more leeway for toddler boy being violent. Girls are stopped right away and firmly 98% of the time by both parents. For boys it is more like 50% and often quite softly because "boys will be boys". Saying that, boys do have several testosterone boost through their life making them more excitable and violent at the time, the first (2nd?) one being around 4 yo.
All children go through a violent phase around 2 as well (pushing, hitting...) often on purpose or by accident playing and just being clumsy. Both DDs have given me a black eye with a miscalculated kiss, and I had many bruised lips for different reasons.

BBB lovely pictures.

FC congratulations again. your DD won't really noticed if you celebrate her birthday later

I haven't read thread yet

feel better from cold, but I think will have to cut my visit short and drive home tonight as I have a sickness bug. Been to the pharmacist to pick up some anti-sickness drugs so hopefully I'll be up to the 2 hour drive.

Ah, PA, it's unrelenting at the moment, isn't it?
Get well soon.

Yes, Mous, I think you're right about that (violence in girls often being squashed more quickly and firmly than that in boys). My friend with the twins (and two older DS) was telling me how horrified she was that many parents she met at playgroups didn't intervene to prevent their boys hitting/pushing etc. because "they will need to defend themselves in the playground". Yes, against who??? Boys like yours who haven't been taught that violence is antisocial and just plain wrong.

Aggression is definitely very common in toddlers - of both sexes - after all, they haven't yet developed any self-control. But the way it's dealt with shows strong variations across the genders (just been reading Kat Banyard's The Equality Illusion so feeling a bit fired up about the issue!)

Oh no PA! Hope you make it home okay - miserable for you .

Mous so I've basically got my timings all wrong as DS1 will be 4 in 6 weeks and DS2 is obviously 2 this week - two testosterone surges at once could explain why we're seeing the behaviour!!

I now know how poorly both DS have been feeling in the last couple of days - I felt like posing on Facebook that if I wasn't a) a mummy and b) in the midst of planning a party, I'd have spent the day in bed. As it was, I squeezed a 30 minute rest in after lunch and have postponed illness until Wednesday (and to be cleared before DH goes on stag weekend on Friday!!) If DH comes down with it overnight and tries to stay in bed I might have words... This is no ordinary cold.

Anyway, cake is now finished and displayed on Facebook (a small miracle in itself), DH has wrapped the pass the parcel and items on Ebay have been secured. Time to give the kitchen a little spruce up and then into bed quickly with some medicine. Boys are on the mend at least!

bethy woaow at your cake! may be you can change jobs...
I had a friend in the UK with 3 boys each 2 years apart, she had a book she swore by which explained the surges and what to do about them. I would guess it was "how to raise boys" or something but I could be wrong. She was very lucky with her DS1 (DD1 's friend) because he was very mild, she had much more troubles with the 2 others.
Hope the cold pass quickly.

PA hope you feel better

I made it home ok with a nappy in my knickers just in case things went south . Thankfully all was fine, tucked into bed by 8 and just woke up. Summoning the energy to go into the front room.

By the sounds of it DD has diarrhoea, not sure if she caught it on Friday or when I got home yesterday.

Congratulations on all the cake making. Beth I hope the three of all feel better soon. fc great to quickly hear from all.

erm I think that was it

Thanks for the new thread BBB! Sounds lilac DD2 had a lovely birthday. And very busy!

Sorry to miss FC's DD1's bday on Friday. Hope she enjoyed it.

PA glad you got home ok without any mishaps Can you stay in bed today? With DS as and when?

bethy I really hope you feel better and can enjoy all that hard work you've put into your DS' bday. Your DH better not take himself off to bed! But you certainly deserve a day or two (at least) of proper rest. Chance would be a very fine thing, I imagine.

A lot of bugs doing the rounds at the moment Get well SB's DS.

Interesting re toddler violence. Most of DD1's toddler friends are girls. There are 2 boys, one her age who does hit and kick (his mother always horrified and tells him firmly no, it makes no difference at all from what I can see) and 1 a few months younger who doesn't - yet? None of the girls seem to (although can act up pretty appallingly in other ways). DD1 has never (yet) been violent towards another child but then she's not a toy-snatcher either, and all her little friends do that a lot.

DD2 awake and i'm in the bath, gotta go

Was about to post but just heard dd1 shouting 'Stop saying Hokey Cokey!' to dd2, so I think I may have to see what's going on... . Back in a bit.

Hello all,
Me again, having missed everyone else's birthdays, thank you all so much for remembering mine and DD1's, it seems we are a February family!

Hope you are all doing well, having survived birthday parties, snow storms etc. We've had NO snow here, but it has been vv cold and dry.

So to fill you in: waters broke last Tuesday morning at 12.30 am (39 weeks). I had been shopping that day with DD, bought lots of stuff in bulk (heavy trolly) and coped with a major trantrum, all of which I think caused my waters to go. I was in bed and realised what was happening straight away, so rang hospital and they said to come in.

I didn't have any contractions and cervix was still closed, so they decided to admit me with a view to induction within 48hrs. I spent the whole night awake, head spinning at the thought that DC2's arrival was imminent (and we still had so much to organise...).

Irregular contractions finally started the following evening around 5pm and at 10pm they said I was 3cm and ready to go so DH came back for another allnighter! I had hoped to use the birthing pool but wasn't allowed due to my waters having broken early so I was offered an epidural which I accepted - with DD1 I had to wait an hour for the anaesthetist but this time he turned up straight away and unfortunately I think it was too early and really slowed down the labour. Also he gave me a total block which rendered me completely immobile and without sensation below my abdomen, it was quite a scary feeling and I actually asked them to 'turn it off' so I could feel my contractions again.

Eventually at around 4.45am I was ready to start pushing, which I did. Progress was much slower this time and they told me to stop after about ten minutes as DD was stuck (head tilted back). I admit I freaked out but only internally as I didn't want DH to see and as he was really struggling with it all, nearly fainting at one point! They called the consultant and started to prep me for an EMCS. The consultant arrived and he managed to get DD into a better position but also had to use the ventouse. When she arrived I was a complete gibbering emotional wreck, thanking everyone over and over again (in English for some reason) for getting her out safely. I couldn't stop crying for a while as I was just so relieved and exhausted. DD gave a good yell herself on entry to the world.

I have a second degree tear to boot, but have had (touch wood, fingers crossed) no pain down there.

DD has done well although she is a sleepy feeder and she failed to regain weight by yesterday so they kept me in hospital one more night. She gained overnight and is feeding much better, although she has a tendancy to fall asleep a lot on the breast. I hope that this will improve as she grows and strengthens but as long as she is pooing and peeing and doing everything normally I am happy.

DH is talking about no 3 already but in reality I am not sure I can do it again, which feels a bit pathetic, but we'll see, never say never, right? :)

fc glad everything ended well even if it was a little traumatic at times. On the bright side, your recovery will be quicker than if you'd had a cs. Well done to you and your dh to get through this and glad you are home now . Oh, and your shopping trip including tantrums (dd1's, not yours I presume) is unlikely to have been the reason for you waters breaking... Your dd2 was just ready to be born and full term at 39wks

Well done fc. As someone who has had two ventouse deliveries, I can emphatically say that the best babies are ventouse... And yes, you really are a February family, aren't you?!

PA glad you made it home OK. Hope you are feeling better.

beth what a cake! Hope you get a chance to rest up over half term.

BG hope the hokey cokey turned out OK :o

Hope everyone else is OK?

We've had an interesting couple of days. The heating broke yesterday, and DH has gone to the US for work today. To be honest (and this is awful of me, I realise), I'm kind of hoping that a few days away from us will make him appreciate us a bit more. So far, the DDs are being angelic for me (firmly wards off MN jinx), and the heating is now working again, so all is well. I'm looking forward to getting quite a bit of work done over the next two days so I can go to the Midlands with a clear conscience.

fc glad to hear you're home and settling with your DD2. You're for sure a February mum

PA good that you made it home fine. I hope you're feeling better

bethy great cake. How are you feeling today?

LBH about the screaming, maybe your DD has understood that most women want to be/stay young and deny their age

BBB good luck for the next few days and fx your DH realises what he's got.

BG how was hokey cokey?

DS is rough but not violent. He will try to hit but I always tell him off for it. He also knows if he hurts by accident to come and give a cuddle.

Right, finished pumping so I can join in

fc great to hear from you. Your birth does sound traumatic but thank heavens for the professionals and you have your lovely DD2 safe and sound to cuddle. I sympathise with your dislike of the spinal block, I had a complete spinal block when I had the placenta removed after DD1 and I found it incredibly traumatic (I only realised how much, after I'd had DD2 with no complications, and couldn't believe how easy it was giving birth - and this is coming from a woman who hates giving birth and will tell and and sundry how much, at length). Also I wanted to say that DD2 was, and still is, a very sleepy feeder. Her favourite place to have a little nap is on the breast. With DD1 I'd have been taking her off ("you're not using me as a dummy etc") but I know she's my last baby and I'm happy to have the snuggles [rediculously soppy emoticon]

Happy birthday to BG, hope you had fun celebrating yesterday and can do some more celebrating today!

BBB I hope you enjoy half term with your girls and sans DH. If he doesn't appreciate you, he is a madman. I don't want to go all MN on you but have you thought of doing less for him, for a while, so that he notices and bucks his ideas up....?

Actually having spent rather too much time on MN over the past week (got to grips with my phone at last ), I got irrationally cross with DH for dropping DD1's clean clothes on the floor along with her dirty ones - he got a sharp word or two for that.

I've got a busy day ahead visiting a friend, taking DD2 to have her jabs (oh how I hate it) and having cake with my DSis so I'd better crack on.

The girls gave me a birthday treat today and did not wake until 8, so I feel quite rested. Making the most of birthday treats and cake

Happy Birthday BG! Enjoy the cake and treats

fc that sounded like quite a drama, but good news you and your DD2 are both doing fine. Thanks for posting the details!! I hope you managed to enjoy a fair amount of birthdaying!

How are you today, PA?

Is your DS any better, SB?

And your two, bethy? Sounds from your FB comments that you're having a particularly ailment-ridden time of it at the moment.

BBB sorry to hear things with your DH haven't been all they could be lately. Here's hoping absence etc....

Scones how lovely that your last birth is one you can remember happily!

We've just had an enjoyable weekend - visit to the GPs on Saturday, then some friends over for lunch on Sunday.

Today I took DD out to lunch with a couple of other mums who I'm slightly acquainted with (lovely women, children both within a couple of weeks of DD's age, too!).
We felt we got away with it, all three LOs behaved reasonably well and ate a fair lunch (DD had macaroni cheese and strawberry and banana smoothie) so that was good! DD was sitting opposite me in a normal adult chair, but managed pretty well and tried a bit of my panini too.

Last night, we gave DD daal, spiced rice cakes and popadoms (plus other things). She didn't touch the daal, but liked the popadom and tried a bit of the spiced rice (spat it out, but I'm always pleased when she tries things). Not a bad effort, on the whole.

Well, DD just ate the most carrot and courgette she's eaten in her life because she loved these, which we also made together. I liked them too, very yummy!

They're not savoury, but the recipe only has 15g of sugar, the rest of the sweetness comes from the vegetables and the raisins.

Worth a go, those of you with veg refuseniks? (They contain milk, but I'm sure you could substitute without affecting the recipe. But also egg, so probably not suitable for you PA, unless you can come up with a substitute...? There probably is, but I'm not very well versed in what works well in baking instead of egg...)