Bil, agree that hospital sounds CRAP!!!
Tipex, you've sparked off something - this is very cathartic!
Well, it was just over a year ago. I'd been to the midwife that morning as I was a week overdue so she gave me a stretch & sweep & a date for induction. I went for a long-ish walk after and when I got back I had a show.
At 5pm labour started - it was so different to the braxton hicks I'd had & I instantly knew "this is it" as the contractions were painful & regular from the start, none of that build up they'd taught us about at the NCT class. Got the TENS on and watched TV at first (The Apprentice I think) but after a couple of hours the TV was irritating so the classical music went on. I remember the pain of each contraction being overwhelming & I was only able to cope by focussing on something like the pattern on a rug or by saying "Fck! FCK! F*CK" very very loudly !
DH ran a bath & when the TENS was less helpful I got in and had immediate relief, it was wonderful. I stayed put for 2 hours while DH ran around like a headless chicken with a slightly wild look checking and re-checking the bag then dashing back to rub my neck!!!
The contraction started to get very painful again and I knew I needed something else to help so I told DH to ring the midwife and NOT be fobbed off under any circumstances - we were bloody well going in. It must have been around 10pm.
Journey to hospital was short but very sore and I remember waiting in triage being taken over by huge contractions, thinking "I hope I'm fully dilated because if not I need an epidural NOW". Had to give urine sample which wasn't fun. Midwife seemed fairly laid back until I got on the moniter and the heart beat went right down - cue hurried examination, "you're fully dilated!" and whisked off to labour ward half naked while poor DH had no idea cos he was parking the car!
Arrive in labour ward, tried gas & air, pushed for an hour & nothing. Chief midwife came in - re-examine & I wasn't fully dilated but had a bit of cervix there so she broke my waters and I had a huge urge to push. The next bit is a blur becuase I lost the plot. I didn't want to push because it was so sore and I just wanted to get off the bed, leave my labour behind and run away. I remember thinking that this would be a horrible way to die!!
Chief midwife was very good at bullying me into pushing so I think she was resposible for me avoiding forceps! Funny that once dd crowned I felt in control again as I'd seen this part of delivery SO many times I could visualise exaclty what was happening and was able to ease her out fairly gently (still tore, though ). Dd came out wailing and was plonked on my chest! I was so relieved it was over but didn't get the rush of love or bonding, that all came later.
Got stitched up then had the nicest bath of my life. Poor DH had been a bit of a spare part for the labour but afterwards when I realised again he was there he was great and the midwife left us with dd for a good while and we were a family .
Well done if anyone's bothered to wade their way through that!!! It was nice to write it all down though. Funny how clear some bits are but how vague other bits. Am going to seriously think about a home birth if I ever manage to get up the spout again!