April 2011 - Hello Grindstone. Nose here, reporting for duty.

[DairyBeetle]

Plumps comfy pillows, shakes warm fluffy blankets, passes them round, sleeps

Symathies for you cycle we too have a bug of some description in our house, well me and R have it anyway, thankfully no vomitting but lots and lots of diarrhoea :(:( What have you been doing wrt feeding? I contacted Dr this am as wasnt sure what to do and he suggested feeding only bland foods - his actual one suggestion was mashed potato!! And preferrably NO formula feeding or any other dairy products or fruit or veg! So R is supposed to live on water & mashed potato until this clears up????? My friend who is a paediatric nurse suggested dioralyte and finger foods such as dry toast, plain biscuits etc. I'm totally confused.

Just coughs and colds here- though poor DD can't quite figure out how to suck her dummy and breathe through a snotty nose at the same time! Ds2 is poorly as coughs being on his asthma so not much sleep here.

MrsW I would have thought keep offering her milk but also offer water and blandish foods,whatever she'll accept really but she shd still need her milk, IMO.

Eeek! I haven't posted for so long the thread fell off my I'm on!

We had a fab Christmas. thank you Bs ss. Its a bit big for him just now but he'll be I. it in no time!

We went to visit the outlaws yesterday because sil is selfish and wouldn't come visit us. Up and back in the same day made it a long one but much easier than hauling everything b needs with us and existing my brother from his room to the box room.

B cut 3 more teeth between Christmas eve and boxing day. he has 6 now. we have proper commando crawling too. he grabs the rug to pull himself along.

Lazy day here. considering calling in a pizza as I really can't face another dinner of leftovers!

Another poorly Christmas baby here too. baby I woke up on Christmas day with a cold and he has been unsettled and wheezy since then really. It hasn't helped that we have been out and about so his daytime naps have either been erratic or non existent, which of course had a knock on effect with his night time sleep - he was up every hour or two last night

I stayed at home with him today and he had 2 and a half hour nap, which is rare for him, so fingers crossed it has helped him on the road to recovery.

Ds also had a bonkers couple of nights where he didnt fall asleep until 10pm, after going to bed at 7. That is unheard of with him. I think the excitement of the festivities just got too much. Luckily his sleep has been back on track since Chrstmas evening.

So all in all dh and I feel shattered! So much for dh having time off to relax!

Enough of whingeing, has anyone hit the sales? I dd briefly today and was disappointed. Maybe it was because I don't actually need anything. But all the stuff was utter shite.

Thanks JKS I wasn't really loving the no milk advice either so contacted my HV as well and she basically said if she will still take milk then still to give it. The NHS website also says not to withold milk so the GP is talking shit as per!! She's taken a few bottles today and around a sippy cup of very diluted juice, diarrhoea seems to be easing a little, more just mucousy now than actual poo, I doubt there's much left in her system to pass. But now on account of about a thousand nappy changes a day her bottom is red raw and broken in a few bits :( poor wee soul. I'm hoping not to have another bout of this to contend with for a good while but I suspect with her starting nursery after the new year I might not be so lucky!!

DP has been utterly useless throughout the whole situation, which resulted in a huge row this afternoon. He almost seemed to grudge the fact that he had to look after R for the majority of yesterday as I was feeling so ill myself. And today he was muttering about the house being a mess/him not really being able to relax on his "first proper time off in nearly a year" and just generally being a grumpy arse, so I lost the plot and told him if it was too much effort I'd go and stay at my mums who would be more than happy to help me care for HIS daughter and that maybe he'd be happier if he just went back to work so he could go back to moaning about never having time off. I really don't think he grasps how much effort goes into looking R on a day to day basis and especially when she's ill. Things have been difficult recently with money worries and him having to spend most evenings working extra so we can make ends meet so I was really hoping that over Christmas we'd be able to spend some time together as a family and just get back on track a bit but it doesn't seem to have worked out like that :( I don't even now if he thinks there is a problem or not but I'm becoming increasingly unhappy and the more I try to ignore it the less it seems we are likely to resolve things. I don't know how to bring up the conversation a) without getting upset and b) without giving him an ultimatum. Sorry I didn't intend to write all of that it just kind of spilled out.....feel free to ignore!! Haven't really spoken to anyone else about how I'm feeling, it would make things seem too "real" and I'm too proud to have anyone think that my relationship is shit - silly really.

Hi MrsW, we've had another sicky day here too. I was told by NHSDirect to give breastmilk but no formula as formula could irritate the stomach. We've tried reintroducing solids but he's still throwing some of them up. Have you tried mashed rice? That's gentle on tummies.

I'm at a bit of a loss at this point and may well ring the GP tomorrow

Hope all the poorly babies and their mummy's feel better soon.

mrsw I don't know what to say but wanted you to know I'm listening. Hugs.

MrsW I'm listening too. Its so hard when you are struggling with things and your normal go to person is part of the issue. Does your mum have a listening ear? I know I could talk to my mum but I couldn't guarantee she would bring it back up in the future.

You've had so much to deal with recently. Maybe you and dp need a heart to heart. ((((hugs))))

MrsW :( I don't really have any advice, except to try and keep talking to your DP and hope that you can work through it.

Sympathies to all those with poorly little ones. T is finally better after a course of antibiotics, and DS1 seems to have shaken the bug as well. I wish I could say the same for DH and I, but we are still coughing away here with sore throats. Yuck.

{{MrsW}} I know what it's like to not saying anything to anyone about your relationship. I done exactly the same when my first marriage was going pear shaped, and like you I think it was a pride thing. I wish I had spoken to friends/family about it rather than keeping it inside and then pretty much shouldering all of the responsibility for the marriages' failure.

Please come on here and talk as there will always be hugs and advice here, but there is no substitute for talking it through with someone who knows you inside out. It will also stop you from potentially isolating yourself and taking all of the responsibility for the failure/success of your relationship.

You need to talk to your dp about how you feel, otherwise you will stew on it until you explode. Ignoring it will not make it go away or help improve things, you will probably just get more miserable - ime. There is nothing wrong with getting upset when talking to him about it, it's not a sign of weakness or failure, it is a sign that you care. Sending you strength vibes to find your way through this difficult time xx

Aww thanks guys :) We did have a bit of a talk about it last night and DP has agreed that he's being a bit selfish, I guess for him not much has changed, he still goes to work every day and when he comes home there's a baby to play with for a while and then she goes to bed whereas for me everythings different. It doesn't even help that he has DSS as he left when he was only 5mo so isn't used to what goes on day to day with a baby. Might add here that he didn't just abandon DSS, his ex cheated pre-pregnancy and never knew if MrW was the dad or not so they had to do DNA tests etc once DSS was born and DP couldn't stay in the reationship after all that had happened. I have told him that things need to change or that I can't stay in the relationship, if I feel like I'm a single parent I might as well be one. Harsh but true. Our own relationship with each other needs a lot of work too, I struggle with DTD etc since having R and basically have no libido which I know bothers DP as he has a high sex drive and tbh he hasnt hassled me about it but I know it bothers him. But as I've tried to explain before having a young baby all day every day makes for a very tired mummy and sex is the last bloody thing on my mind! I pulled him up about his attitude the other day re: seeming pissed off about having to look after R while I was ill and he admitted that he felt awkward because he's never really had to do and that I was there watching him and he thought I was picking fault and patronising him (which I didn't intend to do, I guess it's just hard when you can read your baby like a book and someone else can't!) so I've agreed to let him figure things out for himself and advised that he has her on his own a bit more while he's off otherwise he's going to be in for a very steep learning curve when I go back to work!! I don't think the fact that we are all ill at the moment is helping things just now either!

Speaking of which I now have to take R to the Drs this avo as she has stopped taking much to drink and completely refusing solids. Went to Boots to ask for rehydration sachets and they refused to give me them as she has been ill longer than 3 days and therefore must see a Dr - I'm terrified she'll be admitted to hospital but at the same time might be a bit relieved as I just want her to get better - I'm on a friggin emotional roller coaster this week!!

Thanks for listening :)

Mrs Wajs I could have written your post, I thought DP also didnt seem to see that their has been a problem and also considering giving him an ultimatum but didnt know how to bring it up and i have been feeling more & more unhappy with my relationship and not knowing who to talk to as dont want to feel like the new family are having problems and feeling a bit like a failure, as arnt you meant to feel closer after having a baby ?!? i am quite an up (cup half full) type normally.

But was Skyping with my sister yesterday and it all pored out & she told me i really need to talk to him and give him the examples ive told her & last night we too had a talk, ive got a bit of a cold and DI has had 2 nights in a row of just not wanting me to leave the room at bedtime and waking & crying everytime i leave and then massive smiles when i walk back in with the crying stopping instantly. So when DP got back last night she was still not asleep and he finally got her to sleep. So when he came in and said "r u ok" (I must have looked stressed) i started crying & it all came pouring out.

We ended up having a really good talk and he admitted he has been really shitty and that things are going to improve from here end out and he doesnt want to loose me cause he loves me & our little family.

I feel so much better now the air has been cleared as it had been building up for a while with neither of us talking about us growing more distant and i think he was hoping it would just get better. DTD isnt even a discussion here since i havent liked him very much over the past few months, thankfully he doesnt have a steaming libido, but hopefully things start getting better & we can get back to the baby making practising !

So feel free to let it all out, in a weird way, its nice to know im not the only one who's been feeling this way.:)

Anyway we had a lovely Christmas, DI was an angel all day and was literally showered with presents, we ended up opening them over 4 days !

A huge mahoosive Thank You to my lovely, thoughtful SS, DI loved her birdy toy, book & looks beyond gorgeous in her knitted hat, which i will post a picture of on FB cause it is my new favourite and way tooooo cute !! It was a very generous & thoughtful gift & im absolutly dying to know who it was from !!!(Cause im mega nosey)

Well after DI having a few off nights last week her 1st tooth finally broke threw on the 23rd, its sooo mega sharp ! How long does it take before you can actually see it, as you can only feel it at the moment.

Fizz Wow 6 teeth !!

Also received DI's passport today, she is ready for travelling, im literally counting down the days now.

Hope everyone is well & enjoyed their Christmas & if i dont get on here, advanced wishes for a Happy New Year & an even better 2012 !

MrsW I hope R is ok an dyou've not had to go to hospital. If you have she's in the best place for her then.

Someone asked about sales shopping. Well, I bought one of thos cordless Dyson handheld vacuums. It is ace! I can believe I am so excited about a bloody hoover, but I am! It's great for BLW! No faffing and battling to get the big hoover out the cupboard anymore for me!!

And I've just ordered a new bed and mattress for us after DH temporary fix on ours isn't holding anymore! We broke it back in July last year !! And we've had to buy a new washing machine as ours has finally packed in after threatening to for a couple of months! All bargains so I am very proud of myself!!

We still need to get Bs mext car seat, been looking at the Britax Evolva 123+ as it's one of the few that will fit in our car and seems to fit the cars we are thinking about getting. And we need to get a stroller because the Silver Cross is too big and bulky for every day use now and I need to leave the stroller with the childminder for naps. Anyone got any recommendations? I want one that will still lie flat and is neat.

Sounds like we have come into money doesn't it. We haven't I've just been saving like mad so we can get all the things we need before I go back to work!

Speaking of work, I have to go in next week for my FWR meeting. I'm not going back to my old team, there is another post for me that will fit with part time hours. They want to discuss the days and hours I want to work though. I have a feeling I may have a battle on my hands to get what I want. It's my understanding they have to demonstrate that the hours I want to work won't work rather than me having to say why they will work. Does anyone know if thats correct?

Belated Happy Christmas all :)

Thank you for the Secret Santa pressies - M has been busy trying to eat the books

Another poorly baby here. She's been up and down the whole time over Christmas with a temperature, cold, then a rash on Boxing Day. We finally took her to the docs today and she's got anti-biotics for a throat infection :( I hope I get my smiley baby back soon. It's horrible seeing her look sorry for herself. We've continued to offer her solids but she's mainly wanted to breastfeed, which is fair enough. Hopefully providing comfort, food and drink all in one.

Hugs MrsW and Aussie and all those with ill babies.

Well, I've put M to bed early and suppose I'd best go back downstairs and be social with our guests (though I'm really not in the mood with M being ill).

Ad you've had a talk MrsW, and sympathies Aussie. At the parents group I go to we often talk about that kind of problem. Everyone has, at one time or other, felt like their DH/P just doesn't get how much life changes when you become a mum. The issue of our other halves complaining the house is a mess and not helping with the baby is a common one and we've all had to have 'the talk'.

Ok, so, foods that seem to be ok for a sicky baby...

Weetabix mashed to a smooth paste with warm water.
Plain yoghurt.
Mashed potato.
Rice cakes.

Ohh ((hugs)) for you too Aussie I briefly remember you mentioning all being a bit off with your DP (or I think it was you anyway, still blaming baby brain for my shit memory!) have to say I'm similarly relieved that I'm not the only one feeling this way but obviously feel for you at the same time. Here's hoping our silly DPs are all set for a fresh 2012!!
DP has redeemed himself a bit today I must say, insisted on coming to Drs with us despite not feeling well himself and has tried his best to entertain R and take her off my hands for a bit when he can see me stressing with her. He's gutted the kitchen and done all the dishes and bottles and made up fresh ones for tomorrow (sounds small fry but this a big deal to him!) so hoping this won't be short lived just to get back in the good books. I agree with what you say too Cycle I think most people go through this to some extent when they have baby no. 1 (and maybe all babies?), I guess just keeping the lines of communication open are the way to go and not to let things get on top of you and bottle it all up.
As for R - she completely showed us up at the Drs and you would never have known anything was coming over her!! Little toe-rag! She laughed and giggled all the way through the consultation, thankfully the Dr was lovely and didn't think we were complete time-wasters! Obviously no need for her to go to hospital (just me being a bit PFB i think!!) just to continue on half feeds for the time being until the diarrhoea dries up and she gets her appetite back. Fingers crossed that's soon!!

mrs w and Aussie glad u have talked to your dp's. Hope things improve for you.

mrsw hope your Dd is ok.

fizz We have the maclaren techno xt. Doesn't fold completely fab but is fab and s and I love it. I put a pic of him asleep in it on fb today if ur on there! Hope ur meeting goes well.

Ok I'm going to ask the q..... [takes a deep breath] anyone else trying for another baby in 2012?

Hugs to MrsW and aussie - I feel the same way sometimes and DH fundamentally doesn't get it. Nor does he get that I bear the brunt of night wakings, that I get no bedspace and the 1 hour lie in while he does breakfast is the only decent sleep I get....

For those with poorly babies I go by BRAT - banana, rice, apple, toast - and be very careful about making up bottles and sterilising etc. If you've moved to relying on a dishwasher for sterilising I'd go back to cold water or steam (or both, belt and braces).

kitty the PLAN calls for us to start trying in April. We're going for a 2013 baby as we don't want him/her born between Sept and Dec because it makes schooling difficult but I'm really not sure now. We'll see.... Sounds like you're going to brave it though!

fizz I recommend the baby jogger city mini - lies flat, folds practically flat but squarish rather than an umbrella fold and all round fab. I can't remember what you have at the moment, and if you said then I'm too lazy to scroll to check. A tad pricier than a cheapie stroller but well worth it... I'm loving your sale dedication, I need to persuade my mother to get a new double duvet and new mattress for the spare room.

Thank you to our SS! The phone is a big hit and M has got the idea already chattering away, especially to Daddy who's escaped to a friend's birthday party for a couple of days. I enjoyed my treat too

In a final bit of news I'm typing this from my new ipad with logitech keyboard. Tablets are the way forward - so easy to use and the combination of keyboard and touchscreen is awesome. Glad I went for this as my Christmas present over a MacBook Air, although it was a very tough choice.

frak I'm scared but yep going for it.

Eeeee Frak & Kitty I'm soo jealous!! Sounds a tad ridiculous in light of what I've been posting about earlier haha!
DP seems to have changed his stance on no more kids EVER and it's now more of a maybe in a couple of years time and we'll start trying after christmas time apparently!! Not quite what I'd planned but better than nothing!!

Have no idea when we'll go for number two, we'd need a plan to get a bugger place first. Sigh

We too are back from the doctor's but we're armed with antibiotics as H's diarrhoea still smells horrendous and is refusing to shift five days down the line. Plus H threw up hugely all over his bed at 4.30am I had to strip off the mattress cover and his sleeping bag was completely soaked through. Poor piglet.

Oh poor H Cycle. I did have a snurk at your Bugger place though! BabyFizz2 will have to wait a while I think. I don't think we could make it work financially. DH is on a pay freeze as he is civil service so who knows when we are likely to see any increase on his salary that could mean I don't need to work. Although given that it took 3 years ttcing B maybe if we started now we might have DC2 before B goes to school! But I'm scared if I'm truely honest, I really disliked being pregnant and I'm still sore from the SPD and my CS scar is still funky. Maybe we will revisit this though in 6 months and see where we are!

My sale dedication continued today!! Frak thanks for the recommendation! We went to toys r us today to look at the MacLaren (thanks Kitty too) and the Baby Jogger, the BJCM was was on offer and I really liked it. Love the one handed fold, so so much easier than the silver cross we have which is a frame with a click on seat bit and a total faff. Turned out hey had sold out so we got the display model with another £50 off and a rain cover thrown in! Added to the fact we had toys r us vouchers it was almost like shopping for free!! I feel slightly guilty though about my Silver Cross. It is so lovely and sturdy and took great care of B when he was a tiny wee thing, but it's not practical for every day life, in and out the car, nipping to the corner shop, too bulky. I'll just have to keep it safe until no 2 arrives!!

No more babies here

We very much feel that our family is complete, hence baby equipment being sold as soon as it is done with, and any clothes that cant be sold have been put in bin liners ready to be dropped off to the local woman's refuge.

Don't feel guilty about the pram Fizz,i think the majority of people (me included) buy a honking great pram then move onto a lightweight buggy ASAP. Are you still having problems with your section scar?

Poor old H cycle, I hope he feels better soon.

Baby I has been a right douchebag this past week. It's not his fault bless him, it started with a cold which then went to his chest and now I think he is teething........ But God I am sick of the whinging and the awful nights .....

I have an IPad Frakk, but I really don't use it to anywhere its full capacity. I really should get my arse in gear .....

My scar is still quite inflamed and the skin around it gets quite tender sometimes. GP says it's ok I just take longer to heal than some people, but it's a pain in the arse. I can't really sleep on my stomach yet and if I do roll inmy sleep I wake up because it's uncomfortable. It's also in that really unattractive fat fold that no amount of sit ups will even get rid of. I'm still washing it in an tea tree/antibac solution. Now that I write it down, it's not the scar but the staple sites that get inflamed, I had a reaction to the metal in them. Maybe I should go back to the doc!

I'd be tempted to return to the GP tbh, maybe a few days of an antibiotic cream may be needed and/or a swab of the site. I don't think it's unusual for the site to be tender or numb, but to be inflamed means something isn't quite right. Easily treatable I'm sure though

As much as I am adamant that there are no more babies for me, I find it really exciting that others are thinking about it, and I have to say that every time I see or hold a newborn my heart skips a beat and I get a letdown sensation - something which has never happened when I have breastfed the boys!